I spread my arms into the open air. Trying. Finding. Searching for something that I have lost. I try… Oh I try to spread these wings. These broken wings of mine. Can I find it, this feeling that I have lost, with these wings?

Yes.

Because you're here to help me fly with my broken wings. Making the impossible, possible.

You search with me for this long lost feeling that you too have lost.

Let's go search for it… Together with broken wings.

Standing outside in the balcony of my apartment the ocean breeze hits my face as my bangs fly wildly in the wind and my short, dark, brown hair loosely fly's with the wind also. This spot is my favorite place to think of the past and the present. My mind feels free like the winds caressing me.

I set my arms on the railing and rest my chin on them. My dark brown eyes stare back at the ocean watching the waves coming and going on the shore. Every time I look at the ocean I will always remember my frightening past.

Age: 7

The entire family was going on a vacation to America. I was so excited I couldn't stop squirming from the seat I was sitting on in the airplane.

"Harumi, relax we'll be there soon so try to stay still." After hearing my mothers sweet, soft voice I stopped moving almost immediately.

"O.k. mommy." I gave her a bright smile. She smiled back at me and looked at my hair, "Harumi."

I looked up at her and saw a very annoyed expression on her face, "Why didn't you pick up your hair properly? Look at it, it's a mess."

I scowled at this. She was always so picky about my hair. I never understood why she wanted my hair to look nice all the time or why she even likes to brush it because I have such thick hair and it's so much work to untangle all the knots.

"Fine I'll let you fix my hair. If it'll make you happy," I rolled my eyes.

Her face lit up with a large smile. She bent down to the floor and grabbed her purse that was beside her feet and set it down on her lap. She rummaged through it trying to find her small brush. "Ha ha! Found it," She pulled it out triumphantly and set her purse down besides her feet again.

"Turn around and face the window for me sweetie." I did as she said and put my lower back against the arm rest and brought my knees up to my chest. To keep myself from being bored and distract myself with something I looked out the window watching the clouds pass by. I felt my mom untie the elastic from my hair and then the brush running through it feeling every bristle softly roam against my scalp.

"I'm done," she said once finishing.

"Hm," I simply replied while large rocks in the ocean below began appearing and catching my attention.

"Whoa. Those are big rocks." I said easily amused.

Mom's head turned around quickly looking at the window also seeing the rocks.

"Harumi move a little," I did as she said and she moved closer to the window. She turned her head to the side trying to look ahead of the plane. Her cheek pressed against the glass trying to look. I saw her eyes widen and a look of fear came across her features.

"Oh my God," I heard her whisper.

"What? What is it?" My question wasn't answered from Mom for we heard the pilot speaking over the intercom.

"Everyone please remain calm we are heading towards a cliff but I will go over it with ease, yeah. Please remain calm. Thank You."

The whole plane was full of whisperings now like "What's going on?" or "Will the pilot be able to go over it?" My mom sat up straight against her seat with the look of terror now on her face.

"We're never going to make it," I heard her whisper more to herself than talking to me. My eyes widened then I shot my head towards the seat that's in front of me where my grandma sat. She was sobbing. "We're all going to die," I heard her say. I started shaking but not of excitement this time but of fear. Complete fear.

I turned my head towards my mom and saw a single tear roll down her cheek. She moved her gaze towards me.

"M-mommy?" I questioned with a quivering voice. She looked out the window again and acted quickly. She grabbed the life vest that was under her seat and blew air into it before putting it on me. Then she carried me out of my seat and across the isle where the emergency exit was. I looked up at her and could hear her breathing heavily.

She was scared. I've never seen her like that before. Her hand was trembling in her grasp on my arm. A flight attendant came to her and kept rambling on about her to go back in her seat, but Mom ignored her and opened the emergency door. Immediately a gust of wind engulfed us both but Mom held me tight as she knelt down to my small level. Her cheek was pressed against mine and I felt warm tears making contact with my face.

"I love you Harumi."

"M-mommy w-what are y-you d-doing?" I tried to say through my cracked voice as tears ran down my face also. I buried my head into her shoulder and hugged her tightly back, but she pulled me away from her comforting embrace and placed her hands on the sides of my face.

"Listen to me, Harumi, I want you to do one thing for me," I nodded my head, "No matter what happens keep living. Be happy with your life. You have a purpose here on earth you just have to wait for that time."

And with that she kissed me on the forehead, picked me up and threw me in the water. I shut my eyes tight waiting for the sharp rocks to pierce my skin as I landed in the ice cold water. I quickly swam up to the surface mostly with the help of the vest and checked myself if I had any cuts. Luckily I didn't. Mom threw me in the safest part of the water. I looked up at the airplane and saw Mom standing in the door way of the emergency exit. She had a smile on her face with tears still running down her usually bright and lively face.

I love you, she mouthed.

The plane crashed into the cliff sending flames and pieces of metal towards me. I tried ducking under the water but the life vest prevented me from doing so. A stinging pain spread through my legs and my left arm. Fragments of metal shot through the water and into my legs and a piece of the fire from the explosion licked my arm. I screamed and cried in pain of not only the wounds that have been inflicted upon me but for the loss of my family on board the plane. Tears uncontrollably ran down my face along with my screaming agony in the empty air for what seemed like hours.

They're gone. All gone.

Slowly my wailing lessened and just came to realize that the sea has been taking me farther and farther away from the cliff. I tried moving my legs in attempt to swim but a stinging sensation shot through my body and I yelped in pain. Then I tried moving my arms but a different pain caused me to scream. I can feel the pumping of blood in my left arm and it's devastating, burning pain. The skin was raw, ugly and red with a few black marks of my burned flesh on my left arm from below the shoulder down to the elbow. I turned away instantly when my stomach started to feel strange and tight. I tried dipping it in the salty water and it stung terribly but soon after the pain lessened.

"W-what do I do?" I was already far away from the cliff to the point where it only looks like a distant shadow and now the cold water has taken it's toll on me. My teeth were chattering and my body felt numb.

There was nothing for me to do.

A few of minutes have passed by and the gentle waves that rocked me side to side was making me drowsy. I tried to fight against my heavy eyelids but I wasn't strong enough. They soon covered my eyes sending me into slumber, but the last thing I heard were the sound of helicopters flying over me and a pair of strong arms lifting me up from the water.

I open my eyes and a tear rolls down my cheek. It has been eight years and I have been living alone since then with only a few companions by my side. Since then I have also been distancing myself from others, not really feeling the need to talk to the other children in the orphanage. I was suffering depression then. May be if I would of let a few of them in they could of probably helped me but... I just didn't think they would understand the loss and pain I was going through. Eventually everyone just stopped stop trying and gave up on comforting and helping me. That was the way I wanted it. I just wanted to be alone. But there was one girl who was quite persistent.

I smile. She's the only one who I have let in.

And yet I still look back at those thoughts. Why am I here? Everyone I love is dead. Why did they have to die? They haven't done anything wrong. What purpose do I have here anymore? The only thing that keeps me going are those words Mom said to me "You have a purpose here on earth you just have to wait for that time."

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear something scratching the sliding glass door behind me. I turn my head and see my little pet raccoon scratching the door wanting to come outside with me. I put on a large smile. He has been a very good companion to me also, who helped kill the grief inside me.

I come up to the door and slide it open to let him outside on the balcony. He swiftly crawls up my leg, up my back to sit on my shoulder with his tail around my neck.

I scratch his head, "Hey, Tsuyoshi. Had a nice nap?" He nod his head in reply like he understood me. It used to strike me as strange that Tsuyoshi is able to understand me, but I never really questioned it and went along with it.

I went from scratching his head to his neck and said, "Well, Tsuyoshi, tomorrow I'm going to my new school." I let out a sigh and turn my gaze from Tsuyoshi to the ocean and the setting sun.