Call Me Shaharazad
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Given how many stories I written, that's not a bad name for me. Even if I'm Jewish.
With thanks again to PBS's "Word World" this story was inspired by the episode "PL PL PLANE" And, of course, "Ugly Twerp in King Arty's Court" as I call a certain Ducktales episode. (Consider it payback for 'Launchpad's first crash")
And a somewhat reluctant thanks to "A Valentine for Launchpad" by Nidonemo. The appearance of the blue jinn, Genie from Disney's Aladdin in that story gave me an idea.
Launchpad was flying in his plane, over the jungles of India. I came along because I felt like it and I'm his wife.
We were looking for an ancient East Indian Palace that had been lost a long time ago. Mr. McDuck had been searching for said palace for years. So when Launchpad found a journal written by Baloo (1) that described an ancient palace lost in the jungles of India, Launchpad wondered if it was the same one. So Launchpad and I were checking it out. I came along with the camera, figuring the Duckburg Daily News might buy some photos.
Launchpad read the journal very carefully. Baloo apparently had not remembered the exact location of the ruins, but did mention several landmarks. So Launchpad asked the locals and after a few false turns, managed to find the place.
There wasn't much left, at least not on the surface. Some overgrown old crumbling ruins.
"Mr. McDuck will get very careful workmen to excavate the place, to dig very carefully looking for artifacts." Launchpad said.
" I don't quite get the interest in old plates and dishes and stuff...but if Mr. McDuck thinks it's important, that's good enough for me." Launchpad continued.
"I don't get it either, dear. They're not THAT different things made today, just a LOT older. And Mr. McDuck thinks it's important because they are very, very valuable." I replied.
"Well, even I know he's really looking for gold and silver and gems...even if they are worth more due to their age then for the gold and silver and gems..."Launchpad said.
"Take this carpet I just found. Since it was buried in these ruins, it must be ancient. That makes it worth a lot of money, especially since it's in such great shape. It even looks new!" Launchpad added.
"It does look new, doesn't it? And it's beautiful! But it must be ancient, to be among these ruins." I replied.
Launchpad and I walked back to the plane. Launchpad contacted Mr. McDuck and told him about the place ruins that he, Launchpad, had found.
Mr. McDuck came out and at first was actually impressed that Launchpad had found the palace ruins that Mr. McDuck had long sought. But it didn't take long for Mr. McDuck to find a reason to find fault with Launchpad.(2)
When Launchpad showed Mr. McDuck the carpet he, Launchpad, had found, Mr. McDuck said:
"It's must be a recently made carpet! It's far too new looking to be anything else! A carpet is made of wool and would of rotted or be badly damaged if it was as old as these ruins. That looks better than a restored carpet would! Somebody must have dumped it here, recently!" Mr. McDuck said.
"In the middle of no place? Look, if it's just a piece of junk, can I have it? Sharan thinks it's beautiful." Launchpad asked.
"Why not? It's not worth anything!" Mr. McDuck replied.
So Launchpad took it home and we put it on our bedroom floor. Later, after we had fallen asleep, Launchpad had a strange dream. Launchpad dreamed he was a criminal who lived a long time age. Said crook justified his crimes, saying it was the only way he could eat, the only way he could better himself. this was despite the fact the crook had many honest friends who were as poor as he was who did not steal.
"What for? I'm a garbage man. My rich clients often throw away things I can sell! They throw away clothes that are still nice -or dirty or ripped clothes that have buttons or lace I can sell! The other day, a lady threw away a ripped dress who front was undamaged and embroidered gorgeously. I removed the front from the rest of the dress and sold it for a nice piece of change! Why should I bother to steal? You could end up in jail and it's undignified. It hurts somebody else when you don't have to." one of his friends asked him.
"I'm a woodcutter- I chop wood for fires! But I find bits of deadwood that are either too small or from the wrong sort of wood. They would smell funky or not burn well. I carve things out of them during long winter nights to keep from going stir happy. I carve broom handles and hammer handles and wooden spoon and little figurines and I sell them at market! Why should I bother to steal?" another friend asked.
But the criminal Launchpad identified with in the dream was too full of anger and resentment to listen. He was way too "Me first and only"- to care if he hurt somebody else. In fact, he assumed to get ahead in life he HAD to hurt others.(3) He went right on stealing. He went so far as to not only steal from a powerful wizard, but to "use" the wizard's daughter to do so, breaking her heart in the process. The wizard, in revenge, threw a curse on him. His soul was confined to a magic flying carpet until one of his owners helped him gain forgiveness. Since doing so would deprive said owner of a genuine flying carpet, none bothered to TRY.
When Launchpad woke, he remembered the dream with crystal clarity. Launchpad told me about it and he took the carpet outside and sat on it. Launchpad said : "Valerm" (4) and the carpet flew off with Launchpad riding on it!
Launchpad flew in a circle, landed and said: "The dream was real! The carpet was a crook, imprisoned in the carpet until he gains forgiveness! I have to help the guy!"
And I kissed Launchpad.
"He was a criminal, dear- a real no-goodnik..." I began.
"That was thousands of years ago! He's had hundreds of owners and served them all...enough is enough already!" Launchpad replied.
"Will he be alive if you help him break the spell? It would take him 50 years to even ask the right questions to try and explain the 21st century to him!" I asked.
"No...I think his soul will just go to Heaven and he's OK with that." Launchpad replied.
"Do me favor. Don't trust him too much. People him think you are stupid and naive for being honest and trustworthy and even stupider and naiver for thinking THEY want to be honest and trustworthy. A LOT of people think they are perishingly clever for being dishonest- whether it's the slightest bit necessary or not." I replied.
"You think he's going to try to pull a fast one? After all these centuries, he finally has a chance to be free..." Launchpad began.
"A chance to die. He could look at it that way alone. Be careful." I advised.
"OK. I watched DW back for 6 weeks. I can watch my own." Launchpad said.
And I hugged and kissed Launchpad.
Launchpad flew on the carpet over the ocean to Arabian countries. There, Launchpad used the carpet to find wild fruit trees that belonged to nobody and gather their fruit. Launchpad left the fruit where poor and hungry "people" could find it.
Launchpad rode on the carpet and found hidden springs that could only be seen from the air, but were too small to be seen from a high- flying plane- especially at the speeds planes fly. Launchpad told nearby "people" where these springs were so they could be tapped. Little, by little, Launchpad helped the carpet make up for the evil it had done when it was "human".
The Launchpad landed the carpet and stepped back so its soul could make it way to Heaven. When Launchpad saw a white, ghostlike mist leave the carpet, he automatically stepped forward, thinking any danger of betrayal was over. But the freed soul instead of going on to Heaven, tried to take over Launchpad's body- tried to kill Launchpad so it could live inside of Launchpad.
I jumped out of hiding and jumped onto the carpet. Praying this would work, I said: "Vlarem!". Since the soul of the carpet had committed the evil of trying to kill Launchpad, it had to make amends for that before it could know peace.
By commanding the carpet to fly, I had forced the soul back into the carpet so it could make amends.
Launchpad jumped on after me:
"Followed me, didn't you?" he asked.
"Why do you think I DIDN'T ask to come? I didn't trust it, but if I came, it might betray both of us. So I followed without asking...just in case." I replied.
The carpet was angry at us for not being stupid. It tried to buck us off, but together, we were too heavy and too strong. Then a huge, busy city came into view. The carpet stopped and floated in mid-air and seemed to stare at the city now below us.
"Sharan...remember that dream I told you about? I recognize this place from that dream...the crook that became the carpet lived here once, ages ago. Its changes so much...but the river is the same, some of the oldest buildings are the same...it's so much bigger, noisier, more crowded, more modern. There's no way the crook could fit in now...too much has changed. I think he realizes that now." Launchpad said. He landed the carpet and we stepped WELL back this time.
"I forgive you for trying to kill me. Go in peace." Launchpad said.
This time, the freed soul tried no nonsense. It left the carpet and floated up and out of sight. Without the magic, the carpet first faded, then rotten away to nothing. But Launchpad bought me a cheap new one just like it before we went home.
The End
(1) Yes, THAT Baloo. Remember those palace ruins the monkeys took Mowgli to when they kidnapped him? In "The Jungle Book"? Launchpad collects stuff written by pilots so when Baloo's journal turned up at a flea market....
(2)GUY THING! There has got to be some sort of " I'm better than you are" guy thing going on here! Not that that sort of one womanupmanship is unknown among females....
(3) It's amazing how many people seem to think that.
(4) DC isn't using that magic word in Captain Sham lately, are they?
I tried reading the "Captain Marvel vs. the Monster Society of Evil" book, which started out good (I liked Billy Batson thinking Shazam was God. That's EXACTLY what a little kid meeting an old man with a white beard under those circumstances would think)but it veered from the original a little, then more, then more- till before midway thur the book, we were back to Captain Sham again.
Why does an Ifrit make more sense than a talking tiger? Why did nobody object to Cringer/Battlecat that strongly?
Why do writers blame superheroes for the existence of supervillians? A superhero's worse foe often has NO superpowers. Dr. Sivana. Lex Luther. The Joker.
Why is Mary a LITTLE girl, you male chavistic pig? You can't take girls seriously, so you make her so young nobody else can, either? DC is making me GLAD Launchpad is in limbo!
If it was me writing it, I'd have Mrs. Broomfield adopt Billy and Freddy, since the authorities would NOT allow them to live by themselves.
Other than that, I'd stick to the original and say that Shazam tricked the Anti-Monitor into THINKING he had destroyed Earth-S.
Althought I could live with a reboot of the Marvel Family that is as true to the spirit of the Marvel Family as the recent reboot of Star Trek is true to the spirit of Star Trek.