I'm With The Band O/S Contest via Wayward Pushers
Prompt Used: #2, Pic 7, 9
Rating: M
Pairing: AH
Genre: Love
Word Count: 9992
Summary: Bella, a tourist in Helsinki meets an intriguing man who surprises her
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight. The characters are Stephanie Meyers.
His fingers caressed the shiny red guitar. The melody was soul wrenching, and erotic at the same time. How did he offer this so casually? I'm hypnotized into a trance. Oh! Each pluck of his string, each riff pulls a muscle deep in my core.
I dream of him. I don't know, really know, him - at all. I am in awe of his creativity. His talent is inspiring. I yearn to know what he is thinking, how he's thinking. I want to get to know him, his emotions. What makes him tick?
On the airplane I am sitting alone. At least I have the window seat. There is an older woman with white hair and a very friendly face. She smiles at me as she takes her seat beside me. I feel guilty for not wanting to be social, but I just want to wallow in my misery. I put my conspicuous headphones on my head and turn on my music.
It is a very long trip. The food they serve is adequate. It's a straight flight to Helsinki. No changing planes, running through airports to make the connections in time. They never seem to give you enough time between them, and you end up running.
My friend is out of town for most of my 'visit', so she allowed me to utilize her apartment. That will save so much money.
After crashing the first day, I'd thought I'd go downtown shopping. Well maybe not shopping as much as window shopping and walking around. It's been so long since I'd been here.
Man, that jet lag is a killer. I tried to get up after a short nap and it was almost impossible. I should have listened to advice and just forced myself to stay awake.
I watched TV. They still don't have much in variety. It's a good thing they have satellite. Can't concentrate on one show, so I end up channel surfing but eventually I drift off, with headphones in my ears. Bliss.
My dreams take on a surreal quality here. Which is really odd, as far as dreams go. They're usually surreal anyway, aren't they? Maybe that means they're real? In my dream I am lost, wandering a city on foot, by myself. I don't remember what I'm looking for and I start crying. People do not stop to ask me what the matter is, which makes me even more bereft. It goes on and on and at some point I realize I'm in a dream and I try to wake myself up by yelling.
My eyes pop open and it's beginning to get light outside. Where is the clock? Or my watch? Oh, the headphones are muffling all sounds I realize and I pull them off. That's only the second time I've done that. It's 6:55 a.m., I think. I couldn't have slept the whole day, could? No, it is morning.
I hop into the shower and then put scented lotion all over. I towel dry my hair and leave it down. No ponytail yet, maybe later in the day when it becomes unruly again. My hair is only good for a few hours after being washed. It's such a pain. I have to keep it long, so I always have the option to pull it back.
I put on minimal make-up. No one to impress here. It's kind of a relief to not know anyone. It's like when I used to live really far from anybody-I knew the doorbell wasn't going to ring unexpectedly.
My friend left me all sorts of info about the city and how to get around. I taught myself enough of the language to manage. I get too nervous in demanding situations. I check myself in the hallway mirror—presentable.
I find the bus stop fairly close to the apartment and wait. I make sure I have the correct change waiting in my hand and the stress of the moment when the bus door open makes my hand shake and a few coins drop to the floor of the bus. Crap. What an idiot. I bet there a few locals who immediately know I'm not one of them. I can't even swear in Finn. I must be turning 50 shades of red.
That reminds me of something…don't go there. Not now. Not here.
I scramble to find a seat in the rear of the bus. Is that a good idea? What if I miss my stop? Okay, definitely not a good idea. I can't see the street signs. But wait, as we approach the city, it looks a bit familiar.
It's 9:30 and the stores are opening. I head over to the big department store, which I remember has staff who know how to speak English. I'm already having mild anxiety about my ineptness. I surprise myself and am able to locate the store.
I sigh in relief as I enter through the turnstile glass doors. I'm not really looking to buy anything, maybe a few souvenirs for my friends. I wander through all the various levels and departments. By about 11:00, I'm done. I decide to ask one of the helpful attendants where the outdoor market is and how I can get there.
I decide to walk. I have all day after all. I'm getting a little bit hungry, so I hope there are some fast food outlets or the like there. It's a breezy but sunny day. Maybe there's a storm on the way. I don't have an umbrella. Should have bought one at that store.
It's more picturesque than I'd remembered at the harbor front. I notice an information kiosk and wander over. They have loads of pamphlets about the various tourist sights in the city. There's also a bus tour, which actually is scheduled to depart in 26 minutes. Perfect.
I can find something to nibble on and maybe a coffee to take on board. I purchase my ticket and casually wander the market.
I decide to get some food to take back to the apartment. I found some delicious looking pastries and decided that would be perfect for the tour bus ride, along with the coffee. I also found the kiosk which sold raw snap peas. I remember those from my last visit. They were amazingly sweet and fun to eat.
I arrived early and sat on a bench, waiting. Putting my headphones on helped me to not be so self-conscious being by myself. Nobody felt the need to interrupt someone with headphones on. It was perfect. I could even have them on without actually listening to anything. Genius for an introvert like myself.
A few more people start to appear, forming a line now in front of the bus sign. I'm not concerned where I sit really, so I'm in no rush to stand.
There doesn't appear to be too many people for this tour, so I have my pick of seating. I picked the back half of the bus, on the roof. I'm busy looking at the brochure and arranging my stuff, when someone sits beside me.
Why? There are so many other chairs available and even some by windows. That's so annoying.
I don't give him the time of day, hoping to dissuade his decision to sit there by osmosis. Maybe my negative vibes will reach him. I try to ignore him and just gaze out my side.
The bus starts to roll and a woman on the P.A. system begins her routine. She tells us to put the headphones on which are hanging on a hook on the back of the chair in front of us. We can choose from English, French, Swedish or German.
The guy sitting beside me is speaking…what? I look over to him, exasperated already.
Oh. He's smiling kind of chagrined. He looks so lost in a stunning way. Stop gawking, woman.
Concentrate. Turn your head away from his hypnotic gaze. I pulled one earpiece out and, in English, asked him to repeat his question.
"Oh, sweet, you speak English!"
He was way too happy about that stupid fact.
"I'm sorry, I dropped my headphones and they bounced under your seat."
Oh. I'm now embarrassed and turning 50 shades of I don't know what. I quickly glance around my feet and I see the cord by my right heel. It's a little awkward to try and reach it, what with my purse and bags and coffee…
"So sorry, I'll hold your coffee for you," he politely offers. I catch his eye…gah! The most amazing green, like jade glass.
"Ok. Just a sec'"
I got them! I smirk as I hand them to him. I can't look at him full on. In just that short glance, I'd nearly lost it. How could anyone have that kind of immediate impact?
I'm confused. I try and forget about it, but he's still sitting there, radiating something. What is it?
I think I should move to another seat, but I have so much stuff, it's hard to try and manouvre with ease. I'm trapped. Why doesn't he just move? I'm so annoyed right now!
We roll along a half dozen or so streets and I can't concentrate on anything because my headphones aren't working. Great. I decide to leave my stuff on my seat and find another seat. As I squeeze by him I'm deathly afraid of stepping on his foot or worse, falling onto him if the bus makes a sudden turn or stop.
"Excuse me. My headphones are broken."
I quickly rise and begin to slide past him. He touches my leg as I pass. Ow. He shocked me. I glare at him, but he's not even looking at me.
Of course, he isn't. Why on earth would he be doing that? It's just my imagination again.
He probably didn't even touch me at all, not even close. It must have been some weird nerve thing in my leg. I don't want to go too far from my belongings, so I took the seat behind my original one so that I could keep an eye on my stuff.
The remainder of the tour was pretty normal. I managed to concentrate on the guide and actually found it to be a worthwhile expedition. I grabbed my gear before the bus stopped so that I could exit quickly, without making a fool out of myself.
My self-confidence was practically non-existent these days, and I just wanted to be invisible. I didn't want anyone to notice my obvious ineptitude. The world was not my ally. As I slowly walk out of the bus and make my way down the circular staircase, my mind begins its usual spiral down into the depths of despair.
My movements are on automatic pilot, because my brain was on another dimension. That was painfully obvious as I walked straight into a fire hydrant, spilling my coffee. Damn it! That's going to bruise hideously in a few days. Man, it hurts. It already is beginning to throb. I'm hunched over rubbing my calf, when someone grabs my elbow.
"Are you okay? Can I help?" Why hadn't I noticed that he has an English accent. Mmmmm. Snap out of it!
"No…thanks. I'm ok. Just stupid."
I straighten up and he's right in front of me, his hand outstretched still after letting go of my elbow. He looks kind of concerned. Why would he even bother?
"Can I buy you another coffee to replace that one?" he says as he looks over to my spilled cup on the sidewalk. "I think there's a café close by," he cups his chin as he looks around, "now, where did I see it earlier…?"
"No thank you very much. That's not necessary. It's my fault." I want to get the heck out of his space. I can't breathe. My throat is closing up. Oh crap. I turn and start walking away from him, away from the suffocating effect of him.
"Hey, wait! I really would appreciate it if you joined me for a cup…"
He's caught up to me and is grabbing at my elbow again. What is it with this guy? Why can't he go find someone else to bother? I must remind him of his sister, and he feels a connection or something.
What should I do? What would a short coffee hurt?
"Oh, alright. Thank you, you're very sweet," I choke out. Hard to breathe… I try to take a deep breath so that I don't pass out. That would really be embarrassing.
We're walking, but rather aimlessly, both of us lost.
"Let's ask someone…" and he stops the next person he sees.
They don't speak English. He tries again, with the next one. No luck, again.
"Well this is a bit frustrating!" He looks just a little too annoyed. On the edge.
It's kind of amusing to me. I think I'll let him suffer a little longer. One more person.
Dang! The next woman he stops knows English and she's very helpful. I can tell her eyes are flirting with him. Subtly, but definitely happening. He is not affected. Hmmm.
"Here we are…" He's holding the door open for me into the café. Polite. I'm still self-conscious of tripping or bumping into something to make myself look even more stupid. But I manage to get to my seat in one un-bruised effort.
It's a cozy small round table with 2 café-style chair with cushions right by the window. Good. Window seats are good because they offer an escape from talking or lack thereof, and any awkwardness which might occur.
I organize my paraphernalia around me, so that nothing can escape my possession. Not that I think Finns are un-trustworthy, just that my stuff might spill onto the floor and reveal my most unflattering, disorganized self.
When I am done, I sit up and lift my head to see him looking at me with a grin which I don't understand. He snaps out of it and asks whether I'd like something to eat with my coffee and how would I like my coffee? I decline the offer. Just milk. And…Hold it…right there!
He's managed to figure out which counter person speaks English and orders 2 coffees and a Danish for himself. He also asks her to cut it in half.
"Here we go. I think you should eat a little something. You look knackered," he offers the plate's contents to me.
"Thank you, sweet-…you're sweet," I mumble into my napkin. Crap. What was I thinking? Nothing! That's the problem. You have to keep your brain-mouth connection alert. Don't say the first thing that comes into your scattered brain.
"So…how long have you been in Helsinki?" I quiz him. That sounds like a perfectly benign question, right? I take the hot cup into my hands. Too hot! I flinch and nearly spill its contents onto the table. I drop it like a hot potato.
"Ow."
"Are you ok?" I think I see a smirk on his lips. Crap. This is going to make for hilarious fodder for his friends. I think I need to leave before I totally am splayed out for all to see the inane stupid and klutz me. I bring my knees up to my chest and try to decide how to get out.
"Uh-hmmm…yeah, just…ummm, I'm ok," I mumbled again. Mortified. Lost my appetite.
I grab my cell phone from the compartment in my purse and pretend that it's ringing—silently. Genius!
"Joo, mina tulen heti. Anteeksi kun unohdin," I pretend to be in a rush now.
"I'm sorry I'd forgotten about an appointment I was supposed to be at. I have to go. Thanks again…" I want to say his name. What is it?
"You speak Finnish?" He's looking at me incredulously. Oh no. Now he's looking in that annoyed way he was earlier.
"Ummm…yeah. Sorry. I have to go," I give him a chagrined smile. I think he gets that I was having a little fun at his expense.
He's not smiling, just looking dejected. I feel a huge pang of remorse. It was meant as a joke. I have terrible sense of humor, which always backfires on me.
As I rise up and start to gather my belongings, he stands as well and touches my elbow. "I was wondering if you'd like to attend a concert tonight. Ummm, I have these extra tickets, and…" He's now struggling with words. Strange.
"Oh, I don't know. A concert to see who? With you?" I am scrambling. He caught me off guard with this one. He's standing a little bit too close. He's in my personal space. It's slightly uncomfortable. I could get used to it. Stop it. Why are you being so incredibly hair-brained? My sub-conscious is always an annoying slap in the face.
"It's a band called Cullen Brothers…" he trails off, a mischievous grin on his lips. He looks like he's going to continue, but stops himself.
"I could have someone pick you up and I could meet you there. They're special VIP tickets, so you'd have the best seat in the house."
He looked so hopeful. How could I decline? I didn't actually have any valid excuse up my sleeve. Not sure if I could make one up on short notice. Why not? It'll be better than sitting back at the apartment, watching endless sit-coms.
"Okay. It's actually been ages since I've been to any concert. Are you sure you can't think of anyone else you'd like to give the ticket to? Someone who really knows and likes this band." I continued on with my verbal dialogue,"You don't have to arrange for a ride, I can manage by myself, though."
I couldn't imagine why he'd bother.
"Well, it would just make it easier for me, since I can't pick you up. Ummm…I have something I need to do before then. They'd know where to direct you and I wouldn't worry…"
I intuitively knew that he was hiding something. What wasn't he telling me? I didn't feel at ease enough to ask.
"Could you write down your address? And your phone number, please?" He passed me a business card he'd picked up from the counter and a pen. I have to think—what was that address again?
It really wasn't like a date or anything. Just a concert. And there would be tens of thousands of other people- teenagers – there. I was a little bit away from the teen age. Those days were long behind me.
And so I agreed…to a concert. Totally benign - date.
What on earth would I wear? I guess jeans, for sure, no biggie. Now what top? Who would really care? I'd have a jacket on anyway.
I noticed that when I gave him the card, he still had that grin on. What was that all about? Maybe I had something on my face. Embarrassing. Ugh! Couldn't I just get through one flipping day without doing that?
I went back to the apartment and tried to sleep. I was totally exhausted. The jet lag was still affecting me. I couldn't sleep. So many thoughts in my head, which wouldn't allow me any rest. Don't get yourself all worked up. You can't seriously believe that he's into you? He's so adorable…
The phone rang and startled me awake. I must have dozed off on the couch, with the TV still on.
I'm disoriented. Where am I? What is that noise? I fumble around for what? Wow, I don't even know what I'm looking at! It stops. Thank goodness.
I'm trying to shake out the cobwebs out of my brain. It's so hard. I finally realize where I am. Was I dreaming about the whole tour, coffee, concert…him?
Him? I just realize that I didn't even know his name. Great. You're meeting with some random hottie, being picked up by random strangers, going to some random concert venue. Brilliant. You have just won the 'stupid' lottery!
Probably. If it was a dream, why didn't I just go for it and not take myself out of it? I'm so not nice to myself. I laid back down and stare at the TV.
Lucidity is beginning to return. It wasn't a dream. I find the cell phone, which I realized was ringing. One missed call. The number isn't familiar. Of course no number here would be. Should I return the call? Why not? I hit send.
It rings once. "Hey, you are there! How are you?"
"Ummm. Fine. Who am I speaking with?" I can act. I know that voice. It wasn't a dream.
"It's Edward. From this afternoon…the tour bus?" he sounds dejected again. Oh dear, I didn't mean to hurt his pride.
"Edward. Oh, I didn't know your name. Yes. I'm good. And you?" I didn't really know what I should be saying. Keep yourself calm, girl. It's no biggie.
"So about the concert tonight…my…friend, Peter, will pick you up at 6:45. Is that ok?" He sounded pre-occupied. What was it? Why would he bother with me if he couldn't even come to get me himself? Don't worry about him, dummy. It's a free concert. Who cares how you get there?
"Yes, that's fine. Will you be there?" Another stupid question. I want to know why he's not picking me up, ok? Because he doesn't want to be seen with you, that's why. You're so harsh.
"Um, of course. I just have to meet with a couple of my friends, which is why I can't come for you myself. I'm sorry about that. Really. I'll see you there, yes? Gotta go. Cheers!" and he hung up. Just like that. He left me hanging. Snap out of it. Get yourself presentable.
All the uh, excitement, caught up with me and the jet lag leaving me passed out on the sofa. I awake and realize that it's 6 o'clock! How can I ever get presentable in that time? I'd have to shower super fast. My hair! Hopeless. I'll do a half pony tail. Now which top? I think the expensive (well expensive for me) T-shirt with cool graphics. And my white denim jacket, white denim bell bottoms. White sandals. Now for the big conceal. Makeup.
My cell is buzzing. Good timing. Ride's here. Eeek!
Peter is friendly and fairly talkative. He's actually traveling with Edward across Europe this summer. Hmmm.
Peter's not going to attend the concert so he called someone and waited for an escort to take me to my seat.
This was getting weird. Where was Edward? Why couldn't he bother to meet me at the doors? I think I should have been insulted. I kind of wanted to turn and go back home.
There were so many people, it was a challenge to navigate through the crowd. My escort introduced himself as Felix, and he was huge. I couldn't possibly lose him in the masses. He did try to keep me moving quickly by lightly grabbing my back.
And then we were at a door with security guarding it and we were waved on through. We entered a tunnel, which felt like it was heading lower gradually. I was more than curious as to how Edwad got these VIP seats.
I had more than a few questions for him. I hoped I'd get the chance to ask them. The tunnel is descending still and then we're at an elevator. There's security there too. They check Felix's badge and wave us on.
We step into the elevator and he presses the VIP button. Cool. I think. I can't wait.
But what and who will be there also?
Now I'm seriously nervous and my hands go cold. My breathing is getting labored. Concentrate on breathing. Fainting as you exit the elevator would not be cool. I tuck my hands into my pants' pockets.
Finally we're there. He leads me out through another corridor and then a door with VIP sign on it. He opens the door and I step through. He doesn't follow me in. Great.
I don't see anyone. There is a table with an assortment of snacks, veggie and fruit trays as well as a variety of cold drinks. Good stuff.
There are a few seats by the rail and a pretty good view of the stage.
Where was he? I felt lost. What should I do? Where was he? I grabbed a Coke and sat down.
I checked my cell phone. No calls. Should I call him? Surely he would know that I'm here because he'd arranged for my ride. I'd just have to be patient. It was starting to get pretty charged in the crowd below. They were itching for the show to start. I could hear the chanting for the band slowly crescendo.
The lights began to dim. What? He was not coming. Try not to take it personally. Probably got tied up somewhere. He'd be here as soon as he could.
Okay, couldn't stand this. I tried to phone the number he called me from. No answer. No messaging either.
The lights in the arena turn off completely. The crowd hushes momentarily, then as the laser show begins and they go absolutely insane.
This has promise. Maybe I'd actually enjoy the show. Edward or no Edward.
A couple enters the room. It's a short bouncy brunette with a handsome charismatic young man. They're excited and grab some snacks and drinks and sit down. They smile at me.
The show really begins and from some kind of hydraulic lift, the band members emerge in the middle of the crowd. They go even more insane.
The music is a symphony as they walk down a gangplank higher than the crowd to the real stage. Impressive. Dramatic. I'm kind of liking this. After the band does a few numbers my phone vibrates. I pick it up. It's him - texting me.
Well, he'd better have a damn good excuse! I was anxious to hear it.
I open my phone, "this one's for you. Xo Edward".
What does he mean by that? I'm confused. I concentrated on the music. It's a slower, more melodic piece.
Gazing at the singer, I tried to focus. It couldn't be. Could it?
He looked kind of familiar. Someone I met today. No way! He had an amazingly hypnotic voice. I couldn't understand this.
I look at the couple next to me. They're entranced. Now they're making out. Great. It's a fantastic song.
I was amazed I could concentrate. I was blown away, like a feather. My head was spinning like a top. I had to know for sure.
I texted him back, "You? Singing? You brat! Amazing! Is this a joke?"
If it was really him, he wouldn't be able to reply because he was still on stage, performing. I decided to ask the couple, whose names I overheard to be Alice and Jasper, once the song was done.
"Sorry, do you know the name of the singer?" They looked at me like I was from an alternate universe, and laughed.
"He's Edward…Cullen. Have you never heard of this band? How did you get in this VIP room?" They asked incredulously.
I began to feel so out of my element, embarrassed. I had no idea what to say to them, I shrugged.
The band did a few more numbers, then took a break and went off stage.
Buzz. My cell.
"Yes. I couldn't resist ;p…you are so naïve. I love it! I'll see you after? Please."
I return with, "Naïve? Ok, I'll give you that. I don't think I should stay after."
He replied, "Please…"
I stared at his message for a long time. Fortunately, their next set was beginning and I didn't have to reply fast. I'd have time to think.
And their stage show was stunningly beautiful. They even had aerialists on huge balloons.
He sang a ballad type song during that part, so sweetly. It felt as if he was singing directly to me. I bet every person here felt the same.
Their music was what feelings sounded like, I mused.
The vibration of the drums and his voice cut me to the core. I was mesmerized. Heaven must be something akin to this experience. I had the feeling like if I died this minute, I'd have experienced the most fantastic thing and would be happy.
Just as they were about to walk off the stage, I felt someone patting my shoulder. I shook myself into the present. It was Felix.
"Come with me." Hmm…he never waited for my reply. I followed, not asking anything.
This time after we got off the elevator, there was a golf cart which he drove. We went in the opposite direction from our arrival.
It only took 5 minutes until I could see him, waiting. The other band members were walking away from him, glancing once behind them to catch a good look at me, I'm sure.
Edward smiled and put his hand out to me. He looked drop-dead handsome in his white suit. Wow. I was speechless.
"So, did I surprise you? Did you enjoy the concert?" he squeezed my hand. The shock was muted by his squeeze. Still, a shock? I look down at our hands entwined. Then I look up at him. He's in my personal space again. I didn't really mind, did I?
"Surprised, me? A little…" I tried for non-chalant. I couldn't look him in the eye. He'd know how his eyes disarmed me.
"Only a little? I was hoping for…stunned. A bit more than 'little'?" I could hear the pout in his voice. It sounded hoarse. Probably because he just spent 2 hours singing his brains out.
"I'm fooling. I was stunned. Flabbergasted, even! Do you like to see people having heart attacks? I should be scolding you." Am I going overboard? I'm trying for funny.
"Oh no! I definitely wasn't going for heart attack! Sorry. I'd have do something to make you forgive me…hmmm…can I take you to dinner tonight?"
He's lifting my chin up so that his eyes have their full effect on me. Mmmm. What is he saying? Forgive? Yes, anything… was I reading something into it that wasn't there? I wanted him to kiss me. What? What am I saying? You're delusional!
I could only nod, having to close my eyes. I was scared of what I might actually speak. I felt dizzy and things began to go black.
"Whoah there…what's wrong?" he grabbed my arms to steady me. Shoot. Embarrassing. He's going to think you're a freaking nutcase.
"Sorry, I guess I forgot to eat or something… I'm just feeling a bit dizzy," I conceded. I stumbled over to the golf cart to sit down. He followed me.
"I'm just going to shower and change quickly, ok? Felix, take her to the lounge and show her where there's some food, please." He jogged out of sight.
After I forced myself to eat some nibbles, I felt a lot better. Edward was back in 10 minutues. Wow. How could he do that so fast and look so devastatingly great?
"How are you feeling? I hope you ate something." He asked with concern on his face.
He put his hand out for me to grab. I did. Another zap and he squeezed to dull it. I was getting stupidly used to it and starting to like it. Strange feeling. He started to lead me out of the lounge, still holding my hand. I followed, a step behind. I couldn't take my eyes off him. This could not be happening.
The golf cart was waiting for us and Felix drove us to a garage, where a limo was waiting with a driver at the ready. OMG! A limo!
I'd only been in one once in my whole life and it was an airport limo in the Bahamas, crammed with as many people as the driver could get in.
We climbed in. He was still holding my hand. I didn't know what to make of it. Maybe he'd forgotten about it.
Um, no he hadn't. He lifted it up to his mouth and then he kissed it. He looked over to me, smiled, and laughed. I smiled back. I was stunned, actually. My body was here, but my mind was floating outside of it. He knew the effect he was having on me. It must have been so obvious. My body was a traitor. Suddenly my insecurities came rushing at me. I wanted to run.
"What's the look for? Aren't you having fun?" He looked unsure, so different now, from his previous bravado. I wanted to reach out and touch his face. But I seem to be immobilized. This most definitely was not going to work, if I was incapacitated by him.
"I…I'm …not sure what is happening? You are making me totally incapable of talking. I'm sorry that I'm so freaking lame. Please feel free to drive me home." Might as well go for honest. It would save us both a lot of time. I felt totally deflated now, so totally raw and out there, exposed. He could be mean if he so chose and make me suffer.
"Take you home? Why? Do you really want to? You don't want to be with me?"
There was that dejected voice again. And my body was screaming to touch him. I squeezed his hand instead, and he looked at me with his jade eyes with the long lashes only males seem to be lucky enough to be born with.
"No…I mean, yes, I do, but…I am…I don't know…um…crap!"
I couldn't even get an intelligent sentence out of my mouth. I was sure I was blushing 50 shades of red. And then he put his other hand on my cheek to lift my eyes to his again.
I was disintegrating right in front of him. He moved toward me, licked his bottom lip, and kissed me softly. My hand touched his face reflexively and then moved to the back of his hair, grabbing a fistful.
He mirrored my move into my hair and pressed me closer, kissing me deeper, more forcefully.
Oh for all that is holy!
We didn't stop for what seemed like 10 minutes, maybe an hour? Not sure. It was glorious.
He knew how to kiss. I was trying to keep up, not doing too bad, I think. We pause, only to catch our breath. I gave him a shy smile. He beamed. He didn't take his gaze away from mine.
"You are amazing," he croons into my ear, sending shivers through my body. I arched toward him in response. He mirrored that movement too. Now we were touching our upper bodies together and he puts his arms around me. He squeezed me closer.
Now he was really in my personal space. I was okay with that.
I was trying to not overthink anything. I didn't want to spoil this with my damn insecurities. He started the kissing again. Yes. It was so good. The electrical impulses shot throughout my body, making every square inch aware. Intoxicatingly delicious. Another 10 minutes? An hour? I would be happy with forever.
The car rolled to a smooth stop. We stopped kissing. It was so hard to stop. I didn't know if I could stand up. My legs felt like jell-o.
"You good? We're here," he slid out of my personal space. My body was yearning for him already. Not so far…
"Mmmm…I think so…maybe not. I don't think I'm able to stand yet," I confessed. He was good with honesty.
"Oh? Are you feeling dizzy again?" He was smiling, so I knew he got it. I was that obvious. 26 shades again.
I was embarrassed, turning my head down. He lifted it up with his hand and gave a quick kiss on my forehead. Oh, good, that was so much less affecting. Not!
He got out of the limo before me and helped me out by taking my hands. I unexpectedly almost jumped out and slammed into him. He instinctively grabbed me to him and laughed. Nice. 26 shades again.
In that brief embrace it felt like a thousand invisible signals were passing between us. I gasped and looked up at him. He looked stunned. That was a new one.
He suddenly let go and it was all I could do to not collapse into a heap right on the road.
"Wow, you're pretty unsteady today. Or is this your normal?" He sounded amused. He took my elbow to lead me out of danger.
"I think it's jet lag or something. I'm honestly not quite this uncoordinated." You're lying. No, I'm not. Shut up and don't distract me. Grrr.
"If you're sure. Do you think you can make it to our table?" He was smiling that smile again. Making fun of me, I think.
"No, but let's give it a whirl, so to speak," my attempt at humor. I think I was getting better at it. I was definitely feeling less anxious around him.
"Hah. Funny girl, eh? I love it. This way…." He led me inside and the maître d' sat us at a table in a crowded room. It was dimly lit, with a feeling of airy-ness. Not stuffy. The décor was modern and light. I made it without stumbling this time. He handed me the menu – all in French. Okay, now what?
"Do you speak French? I wouldn't be surprised after discovering that you are fluent in Finnish, after making me look like an idiot asking everyone on the street for directions to a café," he said rather sternly, no smile on his face. Crap. You did do it on purpose.
"No, I don't speak French fluently. Only what I learned in high school. Not enough to get by on. And I am sorry I let you go through that, really," I giggled," It was amusing, though, you were so helpless," and unbelievably desirable at the same time.
Was I really thinking that at the time? I don't remember actually having those thoughts in my head then. Must have been my sub-conscious. Damn her. Either she's inserting her 2 cents worth or withholding it.
"Ok, I guess you're forgiven. My surprise for you made up for that, eh?" he was smiling again. Wow. I loved that smile, so innocent. "Do you mind if I order for both of us, then?" he looked up from the menu, his long eyelashes framing the green meadow that was his eyes.
We ate the delectable French cuisine, in between engrossing conversation. He really did do most of the talking, which was fine with me. He led an interesting life, traveling all over the world.
"I did want to explain why my mates didn't greet you. I didn't want to freak you out any more than I already had. I figured that perhaps the next time…?"
His eyebrows lifted, as if waiting for my reaction or reply. I nodded and smiled. It probably would have been over the top for me today.
"I don't know when I'll forgive you for that. That was no small surprise, you know."
I was going to make him work for it, a little bit more than I'd originally planned on. I wasn't going to give in so easily. Was I? Hey you inside! Am I? We'll see. You brat!
"You're right. I'm going to have to find multiple ways to earn your forgiveness…" he was crooning now.
Oh for everything that's holy… I could knock this table over and jump at him this instant. That's how easy it would be.
But this could be all kinds of fun, keeping him on the edge, not knowing when or if I'd let him off. I smiled beguilingly at him.
All sorts of thoughts flashed through my brain. I think he could be envisioning the very same ones, judging by the expression in his eyes. 26 shades again. I have to look away, or I'll lose it.
We finish the meal, leaving that train waiting at the station.
X-o-X-oX
The limo ride home was again very entertaining. I love limos! I think the control that we exercised left us both spent. He walked me up to the apartment and I invited him in for a night cap.
I wasn't sure if that was good for my plan of making him pay or not. He declined. I think he knew how this night would end as well.
He had so much more self-control than I do. Hey wait! He was turning the tables on me again.
"You brat!" as I realize his intentions," I'm supposed to be the one making you pay," I am indignant now.
Okay, I'll make him sorry for that. I grab his head in my hands and make him breathless with an unexpected lingering kiss, to go along with our French meal.
And then I turned toward my door, unlocked it and slipped inside, then closed it as swiftly as possible.
There! I did it! I hope he's suffering out in the hall. Too bad there isn't a peep hole in the door, so I could check.
Drat! Oh wait, that sort of backfired on me. I wanted more…
I pretty much instantly fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. What a night!
When I woke up it was noon. Wow. I wasn't sure if I felt quite myself yet. I'd have to take inventory. Hopefully the jet lag had worn off already.
I wasn't sure how long I'd slept because I didn't even check the time when I came home. I lounged around in my pj's all day, happy to not have any commitments.
I scoured my friend's CD collection for something to listen to. Surprisingly, she's an audiophile and has hundreds of CD's. I didn't know what I was really consciously looking for, but when I saw it, I knew.
The Cullen Brothers. She had their whole collection it looked like. I really cranked it up, but it wasn't good enough, so I found some headphones and then it was like heaven.
Edward's voice. Ethereal. Sublime. Was I biased? I think some other people felt the same way, judging by last night's concert. Hours went by listening. I could do this all day, every day.
It started getting dimmer outside and I was surprised to see that it was 7 o'clock in the evening already. I hadn't even eaten anything all day.
The music was all I needed. But I knew that I should eat something. I looked in the fridge and cupboards for something to nibble on and found some cheese and rye bread. Typical Finn fare.
I wondered if he was going to call me again. I couldn't even think the thought that he might not. It left me panicking. What would I do? Die. Don't be stupid. You just met the guy. You can't possibly be that affected. Get a grip, girl.
I could text him. If he doesn't reply, then I'd have my answer. But I have to be subtle. I still need him to think he's indebted to me somehow.
"Ready for more groveling? Waiting with dangling forgiveness." Should I really send it? I'm suddenly nervous. What will he think of me? Too aggressive? I'm trying to go for playful. "Send"
I try not to think about it and continue with my dinner and listening to music. I'm totally enveloped in one piece, when I feel the phone vibrating beside my arm.
I can't move. It's like his voice is reaching the deep part of my soul. And then it's over. I have to listen to that again.
It's like he's making love to me through this song. I can't get enough.
Finally after coming down from that sublime feeling, I lift my cell and open it to check the message after awhile.
"Groveling, huh? I submit that your forgiveness is my only goal in life at this time. When?"
I have him right where I want him. What are you thinking? You can't do this to this nice man. He only gave you the best evening you've had in eons, girl. Snap out of it! But this could be fun…
"Are you available to beg this evening, say 9 o'clock?" Send.
So, I had 2 hours to devise a plan of suffering for Edward.
I thought that I should use clothing as my first line of offense. I'll have to see what I have brought with me that might work. Maybe the pink chiffon blouse, which is cut a bit low and has billowing fabric at arms and neck. It sort of has an opaque quality to the fabric as well. Yes, I think it would work. I'd stick with jeans because you just can never go wrong with the sexy jean.
I'd have to shower and do other random stuff first also. I thought I'd be ready in time. I was already nervous. Would I have the nerve and restraint to pull this off? You can do this. Have faith.
8:50. Just enough time to put on the headphones and listen to Edward make love to me. I considered it priming. I was so evil. Didn't know you had it in you, girl. Proud of you, I am.
9:05. Okay where the hell was he? Didn't he know that he will have to pay extra penance for being tardy?
9:11. Not funny. I might not speak to him at all now, even if he did come.
9:20. That's it. Tonight was not happening. The window of opportunity was shut tight.
I undressed and put on my PJ's. I was so disappointed, I could have cried. I turned off all lights, climbed into my bed and sobbed into my pillow.
I was not sure I even want to listen to his music any more. It probably would be painful. Wow, did I ever build myself up for a big fall. You are pretty stupid. How could you even imagine that someone like him would be interested? I know, I know.
Nothing good ever happens to me. I should just be thankful that yesterday happened. Or was it just a dream? Was I totally delusional? That had to be it. It must be pretty bad if I actually got dressed ready for a date with my imaginary date. I'd have to find a psychologist, fast.
Now I was just crying for myself and my loss of my mental capacities. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and I saw something on the counter. It was my wrist band from last night's concert.
Hah! I wasn't hallucinating. Okay that part was a relief. The part where he's not here is still upsetting. I went back to bed and started sobbing over that again. You're pathetic. I know.
I saw a light flashing in the living room as I walked past to get a glass of water from the kitchen. My cell. Check it, idiot! Okay! It's a few texts from Edward. Uh oh.
I guess I kinda forgot to check it in the last sobbing session. In fact, it's 5 texts from him.
9:22. I finally made it! Open up!
9:25. Okay. You made your point. I'm sorry, but I have a really good excuse.
9:22. Are you okay? Are you here at all?
9:35. Not funny. Let me in. please.
9:42. I get it. I'm out of here. C ya.
Oh no! I messed up. How could I forget to check my cell? Should I message him? Would it hurt? Would it help anything? He'd just realized that I'm an idiot. I told you so.
Well, I would have to apologize at the very least. I would text him.
10:34. I am so sorry. I don't have any good excuse for not checking my texts. Are you anywhere nearby? I'd like to make it up to you. (you're forgiven, btw)
I didn't know if my slight attempt at humor would lure him back, but…Send.
I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up at all. I turned on the TV.
There was a knock on the door.
Holy shit! Could it be him?
I suddenly became 26 shades of red and trembling. Damn.
Why wasn't there a peephole in this door? I slowly opened it, with the chain still attached.
It was him. And he was not too happy. Crap. Crap. Crap.
I opened the door and stood there, with an idiotic grin on my face. His arms were crossed as he stood there, all sexy like.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he was now grinning with one half of his mouth. Hey, it was progress.
"Yes. Sorry. Please." I opened the door wider and stood leaning against it as it was actually helping me stay vertical.
"So, what happened? I thought we had a date? Did you change your mind? Did you forget to text me, if you had?"
He was all shades of livid right now and scary as hell. My mouth went dry and I'm sure my face was devoid of all colour. I couldn't look up at his face. Too scary.
"Well, I thought you'd stood me up. I waited and waited. Then I went to bed."
I left out the bit about my sobbing session, I know.
"Then I woke up to get a drink of water when I saw the light blinking catch my eye on the living room table."
"I was stuck in the elevator of my hotel all that time and the cell wouldn't work for some reason. I texted you as soon as I could."
He was cooling down.
"Hey, nice PJ's. I like cats. Come here," he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. He then hugged me tight with both of his arms. Mmm.
I couldn't believe it, he smelled so good. I wanted to bury my face into his chest. "So, I'm forgiven? Interesting…I was kind of looking forward to atoning my transgressions."
He was in full sexy mode right now.
I pulled away slightly, enough to be able to look him in the face. I lifted my eyebrow, and wondered if he was serious.
"Really? You were? Well, my plans kinda got derailed," I admitted, at a loss to give any other excuse.
"But if you behave yourself, I might think of something."
Quick! Think of something! Just as I was distracted in my thoughts, he touched my face with his hand. That had an arresting effect on my thoughts.
"You looked like your mind was going at full tilt there. Calm down. I can wait, if you can."
Oh, baby! I didn't know…
And then his lips were suddenly on mine, and his breath was inside my mouth. I inhaled it deeply, giving him the opening he was looking for. It was a glorious kiss. It radiated through me.
"Now get dressed. We're going out," he ordered. He sat on the couch, waiting for me. I was fast. I knew how I wanted to look for him.
"Nice. Very seductive and teasing. Your butt looks great in those jeans, by the way," he whispered into my ear. "Was it part of your previous plan to make me suffer?"
He grabbed the back side of my jeans and squeezed hard. Ow. I hope he's not into anything scary.
"Why would what I'm wearing make you suffer? It's intended to lure you into my web…"
Trying for sexy here. Nice job. But really, face facts. You? Sexy?
He grabbed me again, tight. He forced my lips open so fast I didn't have time to 'allow' access. Why so intense? He twisted my hair at the back and pulled my lips harder to him. He didn't have to be so rough. I would have complied. But I guess the burning feeling in my core wouldn't have spiked so quickly any other way. Wow. I had to work to catch up to my body's reaction. It was getting away from me.
"I thought we were going out?" I tried to ask in between breaths.
"Yes. We are." And with that he let go of me and we left the apartment.
It was hard to keep up. My legs had turned to rubber and I just wanted to grab him and not let go of him.
We hopped into the limo, with Felix as our driver. He took off, heading toward downtown. The limo was once again the 'kissin' machine'. I was having difficulty keeping my body from winding itself around every part of him.
I couldn't let him see what exactly he did to me. I was supposed to be the one with control, I think. No, I'm sure that's gotta be him. He's the one that made us leave the empty apartment.
"Where are we going?" I managed to squeak out while I tried to catch my breath and control myself. I'm so obvious, it's hilarious. Yup.
"It's a surprise—a good one. Don't worry, sugar," he had to whisper that into my ear, didn't he?
I was just about this far from jumping out of my seat, right into his lap. I think there were only a few tethers left, holding me down. I shouldn't let him do this to me.
I had to stop kissing him. Could I?
I leaned over to snuggle in his arms, tilted my head so I could whisper into his ear, "Have mercy on me." He squeezed his arm around my shoulder and laughed while leaning his head back.
"It's mercy you want now, is it? You should have anticipated that when you dressed in your 'take no prisoners' outfit. You have me right where you wanted me," he stated matter-of-factly.
He was right. I didn't anticipate feeling like this. I was totally disarmed.
The limo finally stopped and we got out. We were at the Helsinki pier. He took my hand and we walked down the dock and stopped at a huge boat. No, not a boat - a yacht! It was immense.
The captain met us at the plank to welcome us on board. He took us on a brief tour. It was ultimate luxury. There was a viewing area with comfortable recliners on the rear top deck, a hot tub at the front beneath the captain's deck, out of his sight.
Below, there was a cozy dining room adjacent to a fully stocked kitchen. A full ensuite bath was beside the master bedroom, which had a king-sized bed with luxurious Egyptian cotton sheets and a down duvet. Pillows were in abundance on top of the bed.
There were roses everywhere in clear vases. The fragrance was subtle, but effective. Edward thanked the captain for his time away from the deck and dismissed him.
He then pivoted around toward me and gave me the most mischievous look, like he was going to pounce on me. It frightened me, made my heart quicken. I took a step back and hit the wall, which shocked me.
I couldn't take my eyes off him. I didn't think I should, given that his gaze was ringing all sorts of alarms off in my head.
"What's wrong, sugar? You look a little scared," he was amused. He took two steps toward me. I couldn't speak. It was as if my mind was on alert for danger and couldn't spare any part to enable me to speak. I was bewildered by this feeling.
"Um…" Brilliant answer. Now that confirmed his suspicions that you were an idiot.
"I'm just playing with you. Don't worry, baby. You're safe. I won't touch you if you don't want me to." He tried to reassure me.
I tried to get control of my breathing. I closed my eyes to concentrate. When I opened them he was kneeling in front of me and took my hand. What was he doing?
"I'm sorry if I scared you. I would never, ever want to do that. I think I just got carried away and was testing your limits. Now I know. You're not quite as brazen as you initially put off, you know," he was being sincere.
I relaxed. I don't know where those feelings came from – instinct? He was perfectly calm and sweet. I cupped his cheek in my hand and knelt down in front of him.
He kissed me tenderly, lingering…mmm. It was like honey. He got up and pulled me up as well. Then he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me. He kissed the top of my head, then my forehead, my eyes, cheek and finally my mouth. Lingering again.
"So, it's nice, huh?" he asked as he motioned toward the interior of the cabin. We walked over to a white leather couch and sat down and snuggled. He was stroking my hair and breathing in and out into it.
"You smell so good."
"So, how long are we here for?" I was a little bit hopeful. Stop.
"Well, we'll have dinner. You haven't eaten anything, have you? And then…we'll see…" a smirk began to spread across his lips. Oh…oh.
"No, actually I sort of forgot to eat today. I got so caught up in…" I couldn't tell him about the CD's "…stuff. I guess I am famished. Are you cooking?" I looked around, but couldn't see any other option.
"Hah! Right! No, I am not cooking tonight, though I'd love to sometime. I'm going to feed you though. I had some food catered to the ship. Now, let's see if I can find it."
He found a warming tray under the stove and lifted containers out onto the marble counter top. Now I could smell the wonderful aroma of Indian cuisine.
I wandered over to him and put my arms around his waist, pulling myself close. I couldn't help myself. I had to touch him to make sure he was real, and not a figment of my overly active imagination.
"Hey! How am I supposed to get anything accomplished with you strapped to my back?"
He laughed and turned around while having my arms still secured around him. I lifted my face up to look at his and he kissed me. He gingerly wrapped his arms around my neck, being careful not to touch me with his hands. His elbow kept my head in one spot. He kissed me again and again…
"Oh, hell!" he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. I was unbuttoning his shirt on the way, all the while still keeping our lips locked.
XoXoXoXoX
The heat of the water flowing down from the rain forest shower head was soothing. I was throbbing in all my joints below my waist. Not in a bad way, although it does hurt.
It was just a sweet reminder of my extraordinary night with an amazingly perfect lover. It sent electricity through me just remembering it. It made me want more. I was obsessed now, officially, with him. I had to get out of the shower before I used up all the hot water. Snap out of it.
Just as I was about to turn the water off, he stepped through the glass door into the mist. Oh. He has been waiting for me. Mmmm…
"I couldn't wait any longer, I had to touch you. You are so intoxicating and I was going through withdrawal…" he whispered into my ear. That did it. We grabbed each other hungrily, kissing madly and then… Keep the gory details to yourself! I get it.