GONE
His body arches back. Surprise flits across his face for a split second.
Was he hit?
I try not to cry out. I can't run over to him. I can't catch him as he falls, I can't cushion his head from the concrete ground. He hits it hard and I can feel the earth shudder beneath me. There are shouts all around me.
Breathe.
The enemy is closer. I have to drag my eyes away from him and look back at the thing that did this. I raise my hands to shield myself, then hit back. It's hard to smile, but I try to look like I'm keeping it together. My friends are around me, launching into the fray with renewed vigour. I don't have the energy in my body to hit as hard as they do. I'm focusing hard on breathing, on not looking back at him, on not imaging his lifeless fingers curled against the ground as the blood- No! I'm focusing on breathing.
Breathe.
There's a split second opening and I take it. I run towards him. I can't make my legs work properly but suddenly I'm kneeling in front of the boy, turning him onto his back with shaking hands.
It spills onto my fingers and trickles down towards my wrist as I raise them to get a better look. I take a shuddering breath and a tiny whimper escapes me. A moan replies. I look down at him and promise myself I won't scare him by being afraid. I focus on breathing.
Breathe.
"Chiro?" It comes out as a shaky whisper, as my lips close they taste salty tears. I can't move my fingers to wipe them away because my arms have forgotten how to move. Somewhere behind me there's shouting. Things aren't going well. I don't care. I can't care.
I don't care about my friends back there, struggling against some formless evil. I don't care about my wounds, my pounding head. I don't care about the civilians who are running for their lives.
What can possibly matter right now?
He does.
The only thing that mattered, the one thing I care about is the kid in my arms; he's bleeding and barely awake. His weak hand wraps around my arm and I brush his raven black hair from his pale face. He smiles at me.
"I tried…"
I shake my head and make shushing noises. I can't speak. I can't move. I need to keep it together.
Breathe.
"I'll miss you."
"No! You won't have to…I'll…I'll save you, I will. I won't let you die, you can't!" I squeeze his hand gently. "You just gotta breathe Chiro, can you do that?"
Breathe.
I push all the strength I have behind the demand. I'm wanting it so badly it has to happen.
"Breathe." I can't say it again because I think I'll stop breathing myself if I do.
A shout, a crash. Something is burning behind me.
"Breathe." He nods. I smile; he's doing it as he looks somewhere behind me. "You have to-to help 'em. For me?"
How could I deny that? Those beautiful eyes are looking up at me. He takes me breath away with his strength and I want to gather him up and run away from here. I want to save him, not them.
Instead, I nod. I love my friends and they need me. I kiss his forehead and force the air back into my lungs. As long as he is breathing I can too.
"You better be here when I get back."
"Promise," his hands drops off my arm, but his chest rises again. He sighs as I set him on the ground carefully. I chance one last fleeting look at him, lying in his life-blood with his eyes watching my every move.
I will be brave for him.
Again, I'm gasping for breath as I duck and run and punch and kick. My body is burning, I'm gasping and I'm crying. Tears are blurring my vision so badly I can't see him properly, I can't see if his chest is moving like it's meant to so I beg the universe and chant in my head the one command his must follow: breathe.
I'm so distracted I don't notice it until it hits me. I'm forced to the ground, there's a loud crack. Something is ringing in my ears and all I can do is lie there and stare at the sky.
My vision tunnels but I fight it; I waver on the edge of the darkness. Teetering against the chasm on nothingness I focus on my one and only thought.
Breathe.
I can't see anything but white for a second then awareness sears back into me and the world is rocking underneath my back. I pull myself up, half of my weight is still pressing down on my arms as I stand up.
My equilibrium tilts and I crash sideways to the concrete again. I force myself to stand again. My five friends are running towards me but I'm already running away from them.
Towards him.
I stagger to a stop and fall into the ground, there's a sick squelching noise and I can't look down. I can't move. I can't...
Breathe.
"Chiro?"
A beat of my heart answers me.
"Please wake up."
Another beat.
"Ch...Chiro?"
Silence. Isn't my heart meant to be beating?
"Oh god, no, please...please?"
I choke on my own breath.
"Don't leave me. PLEASE!"
The world is shrinking around me. I built my life around him.
"You promised!"
My hands wrap around his shoulders, I can't stop myself roughly pulling the limp body up towards me. I can't shout, the words won't come out.
"Promised you'd be here..."
I feel reality crashing down on me. Someone is grabbing at my hands; I can hear my name in the distance.
I never even told him…he never knew…
He can't be gone...
There was a hundred times I could have said it, millions of perfect moments I let go because I thought he would be there forever, but now, there'll never be the chance…
I can't tell him. Now he can never know.
"Breathe!" Someone is telling me. Mocking me.
Breathe?
How can I?
"Jin May!" I can hear voices. "You have to breathe!"
Breathe.
I don't think I remember how to.
- Fin -
Just re-editing some of my stories and thought you might enjoy the much better version of this one.
Please review, I'd love to know what you think.