Bella's thoughts:
Time, like many things, holds no meaning to me now. It stretches on and on, bearing no sign of ending. Time heals all wounds, he had said. Easy for him to say, he was indestructible. But I was not. So when he left, he ripped my heart apart. My wounds kept reopening, seeping pain like my life-blood. The more time that passed, the more numb I became, the more I scarred.
And yet, I could not find it in my heart to hate him, nor even be angry. The love I still felt for him could not make room for any ill feelings, and I was glad for it. I would never see him again, he'd made that perfectly clear. It will be as if I never existed. His voice still haunted my dreams. And the look in his golden eyes when he told me he didn't want me anymore! I had never seen them so detached, so cold. Almost as if there was no life in him. It had frightened me, even. I wanted to remember the good times, the warmth of those tawny eyes, the sweet smell of his skin. I needed those bright memories to follow me, and not leave me, as he had predicted.
So if time means nothing to me, and if the days drag on, it's a miracle to think its been eight months. Eight whole months of longing and pain, numbness and monotony. Of course, I had school, work, and Charlie to keep me busy during the day. And I tried my best to seem alive for my friends and father, though it took all I had left in me. By the time night rolled around, I was tired of pretending. In my room I would lock myself, alone to sob until sleep found me. Sleep that was always interrupted every night by nightmares. Or rather, the same nightmare, involving him, and others of his kind. And it wasn't like I wanted to be this way, this zombie-like person. I just couldn't push the thought of him out of my mind. It might very well be the death of me.