CRACK FIC!!!!
Summery: CRACK FIC!!! Harry's got an excellent idea to kill Voldemort. It works… Just it uses some… unexpected methods… and people.
Disclaimer:
Me: I own Harry Potter.
Voldemort: Well then I'll just have to kill you because you let a baby nearly kill me. –Smirks evilly-
Me: No, no I didn't mean it. I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.
Harry: I know you don't own me. You don't have any money.
Me: True… Sadly. I don't own any of this. Sorry.
Harry Potter and The Unexpected Win
Harry heard of the power Voldemort knows not. He inherited his father's gift for transfiguration. And Snape gave Harry just the idea to get rid of Voldemort. He just needed to enlist the help of someone very unexpected…
"So you know what to do?" Harry asked Dudley.
"This is the best idea you've come up with Fr-I mean Harry." Dudley stuttered.
"Ok then. I'll go in. You just need to be hungry and wait under the invisibility cloak until you see it ok?" Harry was ready to burst into laughter at the craziness of the idea that would most likely work.
"Got it," Dudley proclaimed.
And then the fun began…
It was in the middle of the duel and almost anyone watching was deeply impressed with how things were going. All except one person. Dudley was waiting under the invisibility cloak hungry and anxious. He almost thought the Freak (he only called him Harry to his face) lied to him and wanted to get him killed. The final battle is only a duel between 2 people because Harry did some pretty impressive spell work to get all the Death Eaters bound and out of the 20 radius circle that Harry had made into a shield so no stray spells got caught. Dudley was within that shield but he was also very close to the edge. Until it was his turn he thought happily.
Harry finally caught an opportune moment. "Naro Je Sofana." The pink and purple beam of light hit Voldemort dead on and suddenly there was no Voldemort. Now there was just a 3 foot tall cupcake.
Yes that's right. Lord Voldemort; He-Who-Must-Have-Way-Too-Many-Hyphens; You-Know-Who, was changed into a cupcake by Harry Potter; The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy-Voldemort-Snape-Malfoy-And-The Dursleys Family.
Now was Dudley's part. Dudley ripped of the invisibility cloak, ran as fast as his adult killer whale sized body would allow him to the giant cupcake, and promptly began eating until every last morsel of the Dark-Lord-Turned-Cupcake was gone.
"And that's how you get rid of a dark lord," said Harry.
Soon the entirety of the wizarding world except for one Harry Potter began to vomit after watching their hero let lose his cousin eat the dark lord.
The End.
Ok I know it's been a LONG while since I've done anything but the inspiration I once had is gone due to 2 very bad peoples. Anyways I finally got inspiration when reading Harpygirl24's fanfic, "When Potter Changed To Harry". Anyone who wants to know the details well Snape says to Vernon when refurning to their abuse on Harry, "I was sent here to just return a book but it's clear that you people make my former Master look like a cupcake." Thus the idea to have Harry turn Voldey into a cupcake and have Dudley eat said cupcake. I like it at least. Let me know what you think. That means reviews. Anyone who reviews gets a virtual slice of apple crisp. I've become very good at making it. Hope you enjoy.
Rosebook.