First Impressions

3 A.M. McCree shuffled into the base's kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He was still on that post-mission high; wanting to sleep but unable to settle. As he started a pot of coffee, he could hear Angela's voice in his head. It is your own fault that you're up so late, Jesse McCree, she would scold, I told you to switch to decaf. A sudden crunching sound made him jump, hand automatically going to his waist.

The kitchen was empty.

Frowning, Jesse wandered over to the doorway and poked his head into the darkened hall. No one.

Another crunch. He spun around, eyes narrowing. There were only a few people in the base capable of sneaking up on him, and Fareeha was on a mission, which left only Hanzo, and Genji. Genji.

"Alright, I know yer here; quit hidin'." Silence. Damn Shimadas.

There was another crunch-from above him.

Slowly, he looked up.

There was a girl sitting on the ceiling.

McCree yelped and stumbled backwards, banging his hip on the counter. "What the hell?!"

The girl raised? Lowered? An eyebrow, unimpressed. She looked to be around the same age as Hana, and Lucio, with a bony frame and an angular face, ending in a pointed chin. Her teal bob only served to make her pale skin seem even paler. She was wearing a strange blue and gray bodysuit/harness thing with knee high, mechanized boots.

And she was eating his chips.

His surprise quickly gave way to indignation. "Hey! Those are mine!"

The other eyebrow moved to join the first. "I was under the impression that this was a community kitchen; as in, the food is communal."

"Yea, but those are my chips!"

The girl on the ceiling popped another chip in her mouth, unconcerned. "I don't see your name on them."

McCree scowled. He didn't need to put his name on them, everyone knew by now that Juanitas were his thing. Even Junkrat had stopped trying to take them.

Wait a minute.

"What a minute, who are you an' why the fuck are ya on the ceiling? How'd ya even get in here?"

The girl considered him for a moment before folding the chip bag closed and dusting off her hands. A few crumbs landed in his hair. "I was recruited. Dr. Winston was going to announce me, but then a half-naked guy with his hair on fire came in and started babbling about mission reports."

McCree chuckled and leaned back on the counter. "Yep, that's Junkrat. Gettin' a clear report outta him is harder than gettin' water outta a stone. So what's yer name, kid?"

She glared at him. Damn, the kid was almost as good as Hanzo at disgusted looks.

"Rook," she said shortly.

McCree waited. The glare intensified.

"Cassidy."

"That 'cher real name, kid?"

"That your real hair, old man?" she shot back.

He choked, then laughed. "Touchè. Yah gonna give me mah chips back?"

Rook quirked an eyebrow and held out the bag. "These chips?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah."

Now, during the course of their conversation, McCree had almost forgotten that the girl was on the ceiling. And so all he could do was watch as she let go of the bag.

Luciò was on his way to the bathroom when a pained howl echoed through the base. He yanked his headphones off, eyes wide, then sprinted towards the kitchen.

Overwatch members, in various layers of clothing and clutching a variety of weapons, crowded in the doorway, staring in confusion at the scene before them.

McCree, barefoot and in loose gray sweatpants, was holding what looked like and empty Juanitas bag and swearing violently at the ceiling. Chips were scattered all over the kitchen floor, and his head and shoulders were sprinkled with crumbs. A pot of coffee was burning unnoticed in the background.

"THOSE WERE BRAND NEW YOU SON OF A BITCH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO GET THOSE OUT HERE?!"

Luciò scrunched up his face in confusion. "What …"

"Jesse," Angela ventured, "What is going on?"

The yelling turned into a muted growl as Jesse threw himself down in a chair, arms crossed and shoulders hunched. "Damn new 'cruit wasted mah chips."

Hana frowned. "But, McCree, I've seen you eat things off the floor before. Can't you just pick them up?"

"Ah would," McCree groused, "but someone," he glared at Junkrat, "didn't disinfect the floor after they spilled their bodily fluids all over it last night."

"Hey!"

There was a deep chuckle from the hallway behind everyone, and they turned to see Winston; standing next to him was a young woman with real hair and a blue-gray bodysuit.

"Everyone, meet your new teammate, Jennifer Walsh; call name: Rook," He said.

McCree growled.

3:15 A.M.

Cowboys swears echo through the base.