Marauders era 4th year 1974:
Remus's vision swam as he regained consciousness, the three faces above him reshaping until they were the solid forms of Sirius, James, and Peter. They all smiled when they saw his eyes open, Sirius ruffling his hair in an affectionate manner.
"Hey Remy! How are you feeling?" asked Sirius. Remus made a face his head pounding and joints aching.
"Feel like I got hit by the Hogwarts express" he replied shakily, he felt even worse than usual after a transformation. "What happened last night?" he asked concerned he had done something terrible.
James looked sheepish and worried as he replied "Remy don't get mad but...Sirius, tricked Snape into going into the Shrieking Shake...and he found out about you... We saved him from you and Dumbledore made him promise not to say anything, but we're not sure he will..." James finished looking pitiful with guilt, and Remus noticed the others had the same look. He didn't know what to think his friends had reviled his secret all to trick Severes who unbeknownst to them, Remus was in Love with, who he had sent secret admire letters to, who he tried to protect from them as much as possible. But all the same they did look genuinely sorry.
He shook his head eyes closed willing his tears not to fall at the betrayal and at the thought that Snape thought he was a monster. "I can't believe... Why would you do something like that?! I thought we were friends, why..." he trailed off not able to look up.
He heard Sirius clear his throat " Remy you are our friend we are so sorry, we just wanted to scare him a little but he figured it out, we are so sorry Moony really !" he pleaded to his friend.
Remus looked up then, eyes sad, "Fine I forgive you...just leave though I can't have you here right now..." he said. The three nodded sadly all hugging him as they left; Sirius ruffling his hair again smiling sadly. When they had left, Remus fell back into the pillows eyes wet and a hollow feeling blowing through his chest. He needed to find Snape, beg him not to tell and make him see he wasn't a monster.
Sneaking out of the hospital was easier than Remus had initially thought, Madame Pomfery was in her office with paper work and no one else was ailing in the hospital wing at the moment. He slipped out of bed, hissing when his feet touched the cold floor, before walking quietly over to the large oak doors blocking his way. A quick silencing spell, made the squeaking undetectable and he was free. Now the only problem, Remus thought, was to actually find Severus. It was about noon so the Great hall was an option, but he had observed Severes didn't like to eat there so the only option that made sense was the big tree out by the lake. He knew Severes went there to think as he had followed him enough times trying to pluck up the courage to confess, and he sure did have a lot to think about. He breathed deeply as he walked not wanting to do this at all but knowing he had to, had to make sure his first and only love knew he wasn't a freak.
He finally reached the lake and standing about a foot behind the great tree he spotted Severes, leaning back against the old wood, eyes closed and ebony hair blowing around his head like a river of velvet. He walked slowly as not to alert the dozing Slytherin and have him run off. Carefully Remus kneeled down next to him, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. Snape opened his eyes a bewildered look on his face before he caught sight of Remus, in which his face darkened and he stood up quickly. Remus stood as well trying not to cower at the 3 inches Severes had over him.
"What do you want Lupin?" he sneered making Remus flinch "Come to make sure I don't tattle to the whole school? Well there's no need to worry the headmaster spoke with me you and your little cohorts are safe" he said scowling now, his eyes giving nothing away.
Remus felt the hollow feeling coming back again full force, he just shook his head, hating how his eyes misted showing how much the words hurt him " I ... just wanted to make sure you didn't think I was a freak... a monster..." he said softly.
Severus was shocked, why would Lupin care about his opinion? He wondered. He couldn't show it though; he was a Slytherin, haters of half breeds. Even though he knew Remus to be smart, and kind. That it wasn't his fault he was this way. He couldn't say that couldn't show how he really felt.
"Of course you're a monster!" he exclaimed hating the way Remus' face fell "Werewolves are half breeds and scum you are a freak Lupin!" The words left a bitter taste in his mouth even as he began to walk away. Remus felt his heart break with each word, and thought, what was the harm to just admit his love, maybe it was wishful thinking but maybe he would be able to return his feelings if he knew who was sending the notes. He had seen Severes read them and he hadn't thrown them away so maybe...
Severus had only gotten a few strides away before he heard Remus' voice drift to him, " Dearest Severus, who are you really? I won't pretend to know, I would like to though. I think that you are not all you put forward though. I have seen you. I know you are clever. I know your smile warms the room when you finish a potion, I know you are kind and always try to help the younger kids in Slytherin. I know you love potions but hate charms, and I also know that I am so in love with you. Your secret admirer...well not so secret anymore..." Severus was stopped in his tracks, Remus was his admirer?! He had hoped he was, having a crush on him... But he never thought someone do brave and good...could love anyone like him. But here was he proof, Remus Lupin loved him.
Severus turned to around to face him noticing Remus had come closer. He looked shattered but his eyes held a hopeful glow, and even sad he looked beautiful, golden hair and big blue eyes, and even though some were deterred by it... his scar made him so... Remus.
"You love me? Why? You're a Gryffindor! Your friends hate me! I'm not a good guy Remus I've been roped into bad things...so how could you possibly love me?" he asked looking at Remus bewildered.
Remus smiled sadly, moving even closer until they were only an arm length apart. Slowly he brought his hand up to rest gently on Severus shoulder, Severus flinched though never having been touched in such a gentle manner. Remus smiled turned sad almost as if he knew, before he removed his hand. "Severus, do you not know how brilliant I think you are?" he asked softly pushing a piece of his ebony hair from his eyes where it hung down with his head. This time Severus didn't flinch, simply looked up eyes vulnerable his mask slipping without consent.
"You can't love me Remus..." he whispered. Remus just brought his hand down tracing the strong jaw of Severus, making him shiver.
"Let me show you how much I love you, give me the chance to take care of you" he replied smile spreading in hope. Severus couldn't even process the feelings gathering in his chest, he felt fear, hope, but most integrated was a pure love that threatened to stop his heart beating. He was lost, he didn't want to get himself or Remus hurt by betraying Slytherin but he wanted for once in his life to feel loved, so he nodded slowly making Remus smile even wider.
" I want to be loved by you" said Severus softly " because I love you so much and I need for once in my life to be happy and I want to be happy with you." he finished making tears come to Remus' eyes.
"I will love you, I will always love you no matter what, you will be the most important person in my heart" whispered Remus, making Severes breath stop at the look of pure adoration in his eyes. Severes was so enraptured he didn't even realized he had brought their lips together until he felt Remus push back, sparks dancing along their lips.
When they pulled apart they were both panting and flushed and Severus felt love override his fear in a burst of energy.
"How did I get to lucky to be loved by you? When I have been so cruel... I am so sorry I called you a monster, you are not a freak, your kind, clever and, I know you can't help this, and I want to be there for you... I will be there for you" Severus stated passionately tracing the scar on Remus' cheek, whispering a breathy "Beautiful."
Remus shivered, and caught the whispered endearment.
"Beautiful?" he questioned never having heard his scar described like that.
Severus smiled, making Remus feel weak at the knees. "Yes beautiful...it's so Remus and it makes up a part of you...and everything about you is beautiful to me" he said lacing their fingers tougher, his pale bony ones encasing Remus' larger tan ones.
Remus smiled softly before giggling, "I never knew you were such a romantic Sev." Severus growled and slapped him lightly on the arm making Remus wince, when it hit the bandage under his robes. He saw Severes' worried look and sighed holding up his sleeve to reveal the bandaged wound.
Severus gasped taking the arm gently and stroking the bandage lightly, looking back up into Remus' eyes.
"Is this from last night...? Did you sneak out of the hospital wing?!" he questioned appalled.
Remus looked sheepish, replying, " I had to see you...I don't regret that but now... I feel a bit weak, maybe you could help me back" he said feeling the dizziness creeping up making him go weak almost falling. Severus grabbed him though saving him from a painful reuniting of the ground and his face.
" Remus...you idiot you should have stayed in bed." he said rolling his eyes and even in his tired state Remus laughed at his own stupidity as Severes grabbed him bridal style making him gasp, and caring him carefully into the castle. Barley conscious Remus thought 'I'm so glad I'm an idiot.'
Marauders era 1975 5th year:
"Merry Christmas love" chirped Remus sitting on the floor of the room of requirement, which had transformed itself for the holiday, complete with a roaring fire, large Christmas tree, and big comfy chairs for the two occupants. Severus smiled at his boyfriend and scooted closer so they were shoulder to shoulder feeling Remus' comforting warmth. He accepted the neatly wrapped package; it was rectangular and about as long as the tips of his fingers to his wrist and all finished with green and silver wrapping paper. He looked to Remus' face then and saw love in his eyes and Severus kissed him quickly and passionately on the mouth.
Remus looked a little stunned but mostly confused "Not that I didn't love that" he said "but you haven't even opened the present yet" he chuckled.
Severus just smiled "I know but that was just because I love you" he whispered. Remus smiled wider at this connecting their lips again before prompting Severus to open the present. Severes ripped through the wrapping paper and was met with a velvet black box, curious he opened it carefully, before gasping at its contence. Inside the box was a necklace, beautifully crafted of silver with delicate inlays of green stone on the eyes of the silver snake head that hung on the end if the chain and turning it over he saw the words inscribed in the back. 'I love you forever and always-Remus.' Setting the box down and looking up, he found his boyfriend inches from him, his hand came up and whipped away the tears Severus didn't even know he had shed.
"Do you like it Sev?" asked Remus nervously.
"I love it Remus! It's so perfect and the inscription...thank you so much" he replied stunned by the love put into this gift. "I love you" he said connecting their hands.
"I love you to, I'm so glad you like it, I was trying to find something perfect so that whenever were apart and you looked at it you would think of how much I love you" Remus replied kissing the palm of Severus's hand.
Severus smiled before saying," Now it's time for your present Remy" he purred, slowly pushing Remus to the floor and lowering himself on top of his lover. "Take me Remus" he whispered liking the older boy's ear. He felt Remus shiver and smiled at the idea of what was to come.
Marauders era 7th year 1977:
"We're over Severus" said Remus coldly. They were in the room of requirement where Remus had asked for them to meet and now Severes wish he had never come, it was his worst nightmare even after two years he knew Remus would eventually realize he wasn't worth loving.
"What have I done? I thought you loved me..." he finished meekly, heartbreaking as he looked into Remus' cold stare.
Remus laughed without humor making Severes wince " Loved you...no... You were good for sex but you're a little death eater in training," he sneered which Severus noted was not a good look for his kind face "Your evil, I could never love you" he finished.
He couldn't believe his ears...he had been fooled, he had loved and he had been tricked. He should have known no one could love him...and now after two years his heart felt broken beyond repair. " I knew it...I knew you couldn't love me, no one can, no one will and I was such an idiot to believe..." he trailed off tears coming to his eyes and falling silently.
Remus just turned his back and walked out leaving Severes with a final parting, "Goodbye Severus" And with that he left and when the door closed with a dusty bang, Severes fell to the floor sobs shaking his thin frame.
Somewhere in the Slytherin dorms the death eaters in training smiled with malice.
Harry Potter era 1993 3rd year:
"Please help me welcome your new defense against the dark arts professor...Remus Lupin!" Dumbledore announced to the hall packed with students all excited at the nice looking man that might actually be able to teach them something. Severes Snape however was sitting straight backed in his chair, mask in place but eyes haunted. He looked straight forward, looking at the haggard man that had entered the hall out of the corner of his eye. Remus Lupin the man who had broken his heart so many years ago, shattered it so had he still after all this time was not whole. 'Why was he here? Was this some sort of cruel punishment?' wondered Severes distraught.
Throughout dinner, Severus noticed Remus stealing glances at him, he tried to ignore them but it was hard as all he wanted to do was break down. When the meal finally ended, he practically ran out of The Great Hall, trying to avoid seeing the one person he had vowed never to meet again. Rounding the corridor he attempted to get to his rooms before anyone could stop his progress. Unfortunately he forgot to factor in how resourceful Remus could be. As he rounded the corner to the dungeons he came face to face with the beautiful blue eyes he wished he could forget and not see in his dreams every single night.
"Severus" he felt Remus' hot breath on his face and backed up slowly so he could take in the figure before him.
He still looked so familiar, same brown hair now with he added facial hair that made him look older, worry lines on his brow, but his eyes and his scar still the same still beautiful, and Severus hated himself for thinking it.
"What do you want Lupin?" he sneered sounding much more confident than he felt. Remus' face fell at the older man's words hating how reserved Severus was around him, but then again he had betrayed him all those years ago.
He breathed deeply before speaking looking into the man's sparkling Onex eyes. "I wanted to explain about...that day" he said watching as Severus's face hardened.
"Explain?" he questioned in disbelief " What do you what to explain, how you used me? How you told me you loved me and it was all a lie? How you told me I was evil and I believed you and became the very thing I never wanted to be because you left me even as I sobbed and begged you not to?!" he yelled getting a sick satisfaction from the way the shorter man flinched." You don't have the right to call me Severes or anything for that matter, just leave me alone Lupin! The less I see of you...the better..." he finished, pushing past the defense teacher. "By the way" he said back still turned but walk halted "forever and always is really a short time isn't Moony?"
And with that he left, leaving a stunned Remus wondering of what he did all those years ago was the right thing to do after all the pain he seemed to have caused the person he loved.
Harry potter era 1993 3rd year two weeks later:
The full moon had come and gone, a little package arriving in Remus' desk full of wolfs bane. Now Remus swam back into consciousness, like so many other times, aching as always. When his eyes finally adjusted he looked around and spotted Severeus Snape hightailing it out of the hospital wing. 'Had he stayed' Remus wondered, being reminded of all the times during the school years he had stayed holding his hand until it was time for class, then kissing him softly with a promise of return.
Now he called out hoarse "Wait Severus!" The man stopped, turning slowly. "The wolfs bane...did you make it because of me?" he asked cautiously. Severes looked reserved before finally nodding, then he fled running out of the huge oak doors without another glance. Remus however was smiling the hope reinstated in his heart.
Harry Potter era 1993 3rd year 1 month later:
Severus wouldn't say he was avoiding Remus per say, he just didn't like the unhealthy lurch his heart gave whenever he laid eyes on the man and so he hid out in his office for most of his off hours. Now though he was relaxing at least at bit, taking his frustration out on his conjoined Gryffindor and Slytherin classes. He leered behind the students checking over their potions and keeping talking quiet. It was so quite, when the door to the classroom opened even as soundless as it was the wood squeezed slightly. Severes turned ready to reprimand McNair who hadn't shown up to class yet and was often late, only to see a sheepish Remus Lupin standing in the door way. Most of his student's heads had turned and he glared at them, making them cower and turn back.
He sneered at the man in the door way trying not to show his fear of the trapping Lupin had done. "What are you doing here Lupin? As you can see I'm teaching a class..." he said in a cold and reserved tone.
At this Remus smirked "Yes Sev," some of the class gaped at the casual name between the professors " You've been avoiding me, so now you can't just leave since you have a class" he chuckled.
Severus pursed his lips in frustration letting out a frustrated growl. Lupin walked close. until they were only a foot apart and Severes could feel the hot breath on his face.
"What do you want Lupin?" he breathed quietly.
Remus frowned "One call me Remus and two let me explain"
Severus scowled " Why should I? You don't have any right!" he shouted shoving the other man who grabbed his lapel to keep from falling, and in the process ripping off one of the ornate black buttons from his collar revealing the necklace he always wore. As the both straightened, he heard Remus gasp and looked to him following his gaze to the front of his open robes. Remus got closer to the potions master who stood stock still as the other man, fingered the snake pendent on his chest. The lithe fingers on his chest shocked Severes out of his revere with a resigned fire in his eyes. He removed Remus' hands from his lapel and looked into his shocked blue eyes.
"You kept it?" Remus breathed confused and just a little bit hopeful.
Severus frowned now hating that he was going to reveal his feelings, but what else could he do? " You may have not loved me, but I love you more than anything...so of course I kept it, it was all I had left of you...you said forever" he sucked in a breath trying not to let his mask slip completely and losing "you promised you would always love me... Why did you lie ?...Why ?...Why did you pretend to be able to love me ?" he asked tears dripping down his pale cheek, ignoring his shocked and whispering class, only focused on the devastated look on Remus Lupin's face.
"Oh Severus..." breathed Remus sadly, walking closer to land a gentle hand on his cheek whipping at the tears running down the others face. "I didn't want to leave you...Lucius found out about us the day of Christmas when we snuck of for a snog after lunch...he..." Remus paused as though this was hard for him to say, Severes looked at him confused "he threatened to turn you over to the Dark Lord for loving a half-blood...I couldn't bear to live in a world where you weren't, I had to make sure you were safe.." he explained looking up at Severes who had a look of dawning comprehension on his face.
"You left... to keep me safe?" he asked bewildered, a hopeful spark taking flight in his chest.
Remus smiled touching in face lightly. "Yes... I love you Severus... I never stopped. I pinned for you for over 20 years. Forever and always...remember" he whispered drawing Severus close.
Severus let himself be drawn in collapsing into Remus's chest, happiness making his knees weak. " I always dreamed you would come back...always held out hope...I love you Remus, so much...and I forbid you to leave again" he commanded seriously.
Remus laughed petting his hair." Never, I promise" he vowed clutching the other man close. At this point both of them had forgotten about the class until, one Harry Potter started clapping enthusiastically for his honorary godfather and Snape. Soon the whole class joined even the Slytherins, happy their head house was finally happy.
Remus smiled at them, while Snape scowled trying to hide the slight upwards twitch of his lips. "Alright...class dismissed!" Snape called to the now cheering students who got up quickly and left smiles on their faces.
Remus finally let go of Severus, holding him at arm's length "I've been waiting quite a while to do this..." said the werewolf. Severes just raised an eyebrow in question, before the man's lips were upon his. It was just like before, a bright light, a spark of happiness as Remus connected their lips, it was perfect and Severes felt as though he could give up everything just to do this forever.
When they pulled apart they were both panting, and smiling widely. When Severes spoke his voice was lighter than it had ever been. "Would you like to see my chambers Remus?" he asked implication heavy. Remus nodded at him winking as he walked foreword catching Severus's hand. Tougher they walked hand in hand free at last.