When the cars pulled up in the courtyard, my stomach was already churning. After all that William had told me, I was expecting the worst. Sea sickness was apparently worse than a fever. How on Earth was I going to cope with almost seven days on a ship? Father had of course tossed my brother's comments aside as he usually did when he tried to fool me. Father said that Titanic was the 'ship of dreams' so it was going to seem like we were on dry land. But what if William was right?
"Don't tell me you are still worried?" The voice of William startled me and I quickly turned around to face him at the door, my hand flying to my chest.
I had been standing at the window, looking out at the family staff loading our possessions into the cars. Three cars would carry us to the docks and one would be loaded onto the ship, for once we reached America. The new estate was already purchased, although I had only seen pictures. California was much warmer than here and father had told me that we would have lemon trees in the gardens. William would meet his fiance in New York and she would travel with us to our new home. I was still to meet the man whom I was engaged to.
William was wearing the bespoke beige suit and carrying a hat in one hand. Although he was only two years older than me, I immediately felt intimidated by his nineteen year old arrogance. Until mother died, he had been one of my closest friends. But when she died, he had become withdrawn and rushed to grow up, leaving me behind.
"No. Of course not." The words came out more sharply than I had intended, but I forced my gaze to remain on William. His gaze was now travelling down my body and assessing me like a new car. Although unsettling, I knew that there was nothing he could criticize. My hobble skirt fitted around my newly learnt curves perfectly in a sea green silk and my matching tailored jacket fastened snugly under my large breasts. These were assets which were sure to get me a husband.
"I am glad to hear that Clara." William nodded and for a moment I believed that he actually meant it. But then the cigar was between his lips and the solemn expression returned to his face. "Come. We need to be leaving. Father would hate to be late."
After that, William left the room so that Alice, my maid, was able to put the finishing touches to my hair and attach the hat securely. She had informed me that she too was scared about sailing aboard a ship, but I assured her that everything would be alright. We would be travelling in first class so we would be comfortable.
"I wonder whether the food will be a good as they said it was goin' to be." Alice mused, an excited yet worried look on her face.
"I am sure it will." I heard my own voice reply. My own expression matched her's and we let out a giggle together.
"Do not worry Miss. I am sure that all will be well. In a week we will be in America. Imagine that!" I couldn't decided whether she was reassuring me or herself. "Come Miss, you do not want to keep your father waiting."
I turned back one last time to take in the scene. The blue wallpaper still clung to the walls of my rooms, reminding me of mother. But she was gone. That was why we were leaving, to start a fresh life in America. After today, I would never see this room again.