Rest Of Your Life
by Laura Kamida
Rated PG-13 for Themes and Yaoi

I know this is confusing now, but I assure you, it'll become more clear as the story goes on. Promise! -Laura

A deafening screech fills the air. Gasping for air that won't reach his lungs, he stares into the bright light that is racing toward him... "Oh God, oh God, oh GOD!" A violent jolt. His body, thrown like a rag doll, slides across the pavement with a sickeningly unceremonious scraping sound as his fragile flesh is torn by shattered glass.

Trying desperately to speak, to scream, to even try and utter the plethora of thoughts that fly through his brain, he finds himself unable to see straight, to even hear a sound among the chaos. Lights, darkness, blurred together, shapes dancing in his vision, all escape as he tries to reach out to them, his body not obeying his demands. Feeling himself growing fainter and fainter, he expels air violently in a pathetic attempt to scream, which comes out as a strangled, gurgling croak. "Please, someone..." he moans, although to the passerby it is completely unintelligible. "T-tell him.... I.... never stopped..."

Blackness. Oh God... I'm dying...

Welcome... a voice inside his mind speaks softly.

What's going on?

Welcome... the voice repeats. It's soothing, so familiar, lulling him into a mysterious trance like a melody that cannot be captured, and it fills him with a dream even as his fleeting hope to live seeps away.

Am I ... in Heaven?

This is the first day of the rest of your life –

~*~

Yagami Taichi sprung from his bed, gasping air as he stood, in his boxers, in his own bedroom, instead of lying out on cold pavement, dying, as he had just envisioned in great detail. Chest still heaving with the fear that had struck him, he slowly sunk to his knees beside the bed, one hand sliding across the carpet, the other grasping the side of his face tightly. Each breath coming like a wave of relief, his body shook with half-sobs.

Lethargically, he brought his body up to the bed again, his torso leaning against the frame and his arms draping across the mattress. Tilting his face up to look out the window, he uttered a thanks that he was still alive.

"It's only a dream... it's only a dream..." he whispered to himself repeatedly, trying to convince himself. It didn't matter that this dream was recurring more and more often, or that each time, it was becoming more graphic, or that each time, he felt closer to death before he finally awoke, soaked in an icy sweat.

"It's only a dream..." he echoed one last time.

~*~

His soft blue eyes glaze over in pain, but the brunette can tell that he refuses to cry. The blonde bottles up the pain inside of him, pulsating through his blood, as he shoots daggers through his eyes.

Please don't look at me that way... Please, God, don't tell me it's over...

Desperately, the slightly shorter man reaches out for the pale, warm hand of the blonde vision before him. The once-loving gaze of the other man hardens even more into a look of anguish and hatred as he violently jerks his hand away. "W-why do you pull away from me...?" he asks absurdly, his pained voice no more than a cracked whisper.

"I should have known... I should have known better. I kept telling myself not to fall for you, that there would only be pain in the end."

He draws in his breath, the sound a gasping attempt for much-needed oxygen. "You can't say that!" he cries out frantically. He runs forward, drawing the wiry 22-year-old into his arms fiercely. With his body shaking with fear and agony, he breathes heavily, trying despondently to take in the sweet essence of the lover he feels slipping away.

Say something, say something, say something, you have to, he's going to leave you, don't you see, you idiot!? Tell him you love him, get it though his head, make him see!

To his extreme surprise, he feels the slender body he's holding begin to quake with sobs. "You think you love me, but... but..." the normally eloquent young man stammers, searching for words, but they will not come to him.

I do love you!

"I do love you!" the frightened brunette asserts vehemently.

I love you!

The blonde shoves himself away from the embrace, burning tears of emotion sliding down his flushed cheeks.

I could never love anyone but you!

The gorgeous face that he had fallen in love with so many times is now otherwise paled, his jaw relaxed and his dry lips slightly parted. Loud, distressed breaths passing between them, he looks deeply focused on studying the tanned face of his estranged love.

Say you love me too... Say you love me too...!

"Then why are you ashamed of me!?"

~*~

"Taichi!"

The brunette man was just as suddenly extracted from his vivid flashback as he had been thrown into it. What made me think of that now? he wondered silently, his eyes finally focusing in on the real world again. What a thing to remember... he thought sadly, his breath slowing and his heartbeat becoming sluggish.

"What!? Sorry, Hikari... what were you saying?"

What happened after that? I can't remember anymore...

"I was asking you how your day was..." Hikari declared quietly, concern in her voice. Even over the phone, he could see the wide-eyes of his little sister in his mind, staring at him, asking him what was wrong with their seriousness. "But, judging from your strange behavior, I'm guessing it wasn't too great."

Oh, nothing, Hikari... Just another day in the life of Taichi.

"Nothing too different," he said sincerely, brushing a strand of hair from his face. He could suddenly remember a time when another hand would do that for him. That hand was soft, and quick, but it had inconceivable powers to put him in a deep trance with little or no effort.

Looking beyond the filth that surrounded him now, he could see a time when the kitchen he sat in looked completely different. It was almost a bachelor-pad now, with empty Chinese food cartons and dirty dishes scattered all over the place. Scantily decorated and vaguely putrid, he remembered the room as it used to be... a domestic little place, clean, with knick-knacks all over the place, even though sometimes there would be a dirty dish sitting out in the middle of the kitchen. A memory brought a smile to his face as the image of a slender blonde in a dirtied up pink apron stood in his mind, just as clearly as if he had really been there.

"Taichi, this kitchen is filthy! Can't you ever clean up around here?"

"C'mon, if I cleaned up the apartment all day, I wouldn't have time for you, now would I?"

Then a smile would grace the irresistible lips of the blonde, and Taichi knew he was out of danger – for the moment, at least.

"Now that's the Taichi I like to hear!" chirped his younger sister.

Did I laugh? God... it's been so long and yet I still smile every time I think of him.

His mind gently threw the fantasy in his imagination for a moment longer, as he grinned wistfully.

"Taichi!" he could hear Hikari calling out to him, though the sound was detached, and faint. "Taichi, answer me! Taichi!"

"Did you know it should have been our anniversary today, Hikari?" he said cryptically into the receiver. His voice sounded so loud now, to match the sound of his heart beating in his chest.

His head started to spin wildly, his vision blurring and the room starting to move on its own. Gasping and feeling suddenly ill, he stood up, only to stumble forward, then backward again, the colors and light in the room abruptly swirling into darkness.

~*~

The look on the ashen face of the quiet, brooding blonde as he sets his guitar case next to his luggage breaks the other man's heart. The tall, slender musician stares down at the ground, a tear in each eye. The room is dismally silent, neither able to speak.

There is a long, last, meaningful glance between the two young men. Tearfully, the once-strong, athletic man swallows hard, clenching his hands together nervously. He tries to speak, but simple breathing is a struggle for him.

The door to the small apartment opens slowly, creaking to create the only noise in the room.

"D-don't go," he rasps, holding his hand out weakly. "Please..."

The fair-haired one approaches him, jaw firmly set. "Goodbye," he says, a thin layer of ice in his voice, as he holds out a metal chain.

Lowering his eyes, the wounded lover takes the piece of jewelry, and slowly backs against the wall and slides into a sitting position despite all his efforts to remain upright. The sharp, protruding rays of the small yin-yang type circle he was just handed stab weakly at the hand that clenches the pendant tightly.

His whole body shaking, the last thing he hears is the quiet closing of the door before he completely loses control and falls to the carpet, his body forming into the fetal position and shaking with quiet sobs.

~*~

My head...

The 25-year-old Taichi sat up, his head still spinning.

Fight it. Stand up.

Battling to rise and stand on his feet, the room still swirled and the colors still distorted in front of his vision.

FIGHT IT, YAGAMI. STAND UP.

Though he advanced to his feet, he immediately fell back to his knees, staring up at the ceiling blankly.

Oh, God... Make this stop... the fainting, the vivid flashbacks, the dreams... am I going crazy?

He could see a hand reaching out to him.

Don't fight it, Taichi. Let go...

His eyes stinging to the point of flowing with tears, Taichi reached out blindly for the hand, unable to stop himself.

However, just as suddenly as the whole episode had begun, the brunette recoiled into a little ball on the hard, unforgiving floor, to sink into his haunting memories.

~*~

… I can't believe he's gone…

Running his fingers through his mass of brown hair, the 22-year-old holds himself tightly with his free arm in anguish.

How could he just throw everything away?

His breath now comes in shuddering bursts, and though he tries to keep in the sound of his weeping, his gasping cries are too much to hold in.

How could he walk out of here?

It's been days since the love of his life walked out of the apartment they shared forever. The simple place grows gloomier with each passing day. The chores go undone, clutter piling up in each room, only reminding the brunette more that he is completely alone.

How am I going to make it without him?

He walks around in a daze now, unable to think of anything but the feeling of his chest collapsing into itself. He toys with the idea of suicide, any method to rid himself of the relentless misery that eats away at him.

How could I let him go?

How could I hurt him so much...?

~*~

The car engine purred happily, as if it were alive and trying to comfort its driver. The air was crisp, blowing through a mop of brown hair as the window was rolled halfway down. The road was nearly empty this time of night -- nearly. Driving was the only way that Taichi could make himself feel better. Driving made him feel in control. He thrived on the open road, the feeling of the motor roaring just for him, the thought of going wherever he wanted to go.

He slowly slid his hands across the smooth leather of the steering wheel, savoring every moment of the solitary ride down the streets. Shadows splashed across the nighttime landscape, dashing the getaway with excitement and mystery. After his latest brush with his insanity, he desperately needed to get out of his lonely apartment.

Sometimes, I just have to get away from it all... he thought to himself, mere seconds before a deafening screech and bright lights filled the air.

~~TO BE CONTINUED...~~
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