Theme: Reality (#96)
Inspiration: 5 Centimeters per Second OST
NarutoxOC
I would just like to stress that by using these themes, I interpret them different. For example instead of using reality in this fanfic, I could've used it between a game world and the real world. In my opinion, it all comes down to interpretation individually...so yeah. Thanks.
-Songie
I have come to this conclusion just moments ago that this was where we stand in the world of life. I finally understood that this was where I stood and that no matter how much I wanted to move and follow him, I couldn't. I wouldn't. Uzumaki Naruto was always ahead of me, even if it was just one step, he was always ahead. That stubborn blonde who brought smiles and tears to everyone, who made the tense air light and breathable, the one boy that I ended up falling in love with.
For years I have known Naruto. Day in, day out, we would see each other too many times in one day that I considered it fate. In my heart I thought, hey, maybe this was what people called destiny and I was fortunate to be tied to the one who I admired and loved the most. I wish I could take those stubborn thoughts back and start all over. This was our final year of high school and I knew that we weren't going to see each other again. He was going to become a photographer with this famous company in Shibuya while I was going the other way, focusing my dreams of writing stories.
Perhaps it is because of my imagination that I believed our bond was destiny. My head was too clouded by what I wanted and what I hoped that I never bothered to really think of his feelings. Or rather, perhaps I was aware that he did not see me that way because he never saw me.
From our freshmen year, I can recall the days where Naruto would always smile and laugh the hardest when another girl, Hyuuga Hinata, was around. I could tell just by her face that she was so in love with him and perhaps I disregarded it. I believed it was because I really thought my love was stronger than hers.
I was selfish and arrogant.
"Oi! Minami!" I heard a voice call out from behind me just as I was about to pedal away on my bike. The sun was setting and school had ended two hours ago. Why I remained was because of two reasons; one, I had to for club activities and two, because Naruto would leave at the same time. I wanted to see him desperately, and I took every chance I could to spend time with him, whether it be with just the tow of us or with friends. I turned and smiled at him as he grinned and waved me down until he was close enough.
"Heading home?"
"Mhm."
"Let's go together." And with that, we walked as I pushed my bike with me, heading down the usual route to head back home.
I wondered to myself if I would ever tell him. I always wonder at night what he would say, or do, but then I quickly remind myself that there was Hinata. I would hope sometimes that he actually didn't have feelings for her but for me, and I know that's selfish to think, but when your heart has grown so attached to someone you can't help but think selfishly. As humans we want our love to be returned in some way so we don't have the feeling of rejection. There are just some of us that can smile happily and wish for the happiness of our loved ones and I wish I could be strong enough to think that.
I don't want to bother to think of him with Hinata. It aches my heart every time I do and I'm scared that if I think about it when I'm with him that I'll start crying. It hurts so much to be so close yet so far that I wondered just how I was able to do it all these years.
I would say that it's his smile and the laughs we share that get me through each day, and perhaps that's where I need to draw the line. The point where I depend on him to give me happiness, I know that I have to stop.
"Hey, Minami? Minami?" I didn't realize that I had stopped in my tracks and Naruto's face was in front of me.
"Huh?"
"You stopped. Are you okay?" He asked. I could hear the worry in his voice, so I bit my lip before smiling. "I'm fine. Let's go." I said, and he nodded and we went on.
I realize that that was the perfect opportunity to confess my feelings.
As I said, I have come to the conclusion that this is where I stand in his life with my feelings. Naruto will never know and I won't dare to tell him. He will move on in life, and I hope he will be happy with whoever he ends up with. Part of me hopes that it's anyone but Hinata, but that's selfish of me to think that. The other part of me hopes that it is Hinata because I know where his and her loves are going to.
This is the reality that I must come to terms with. This is where I will stand forever, in love with the one who can never be mine, and strangely I'm content with that, though my heart and tears that fall will say otherwise.
I am truly content.