A/N Okey, English is not my first language, so please tell me if I made any grave errors. I'm just starting to write fics, so please review!
Just one of those nights
Even before he went to bed, Butler knew that it was going to be one of those nights again. A night in which he wouldn't sleep, being haunted by memories.
He'd had such nights, many times. You won't make it to become one of the most dangerous men in the world without having lived through a few tragedies. He had caused some of them himself.
Like this one, said a small voice in his head.
Butler moaned. Of al the bad things he had seen, Taipei 101 had been the worst. And he had to blame himself indeed.
For the thousandth time, he lay staring in the empty darkness of the room he had shared with Artemis. And for the thousandth time, he tried to figure out a way that could have got them all safely out of the skyscraper.
There had been ways. Until Minerva decided to kick Billy Kong. Why, why for heaven's sake did those young geniuses think that they where invincible, or that nothing could harm them? Artemis had behaved like that, before Butler was shot.
Arno Blunt and his bullet had changed the boy. It's really weird, how things can turn out. If he hadn't been shot, then Artemis wouldn't be… well, wherever he was.
Slowly, Butler sat straight, and stepped out of bed. When he wasn't sleeping, why would he stay in bed? He pulled some clothes out of the closet, glancing at his watch.
3.00 AM.
He opened the bedroom door, and stepped out on the aisle. Passing by, he stole a glance in the twin's room. Everything seemed calm and quiet. And if there was something wrong, it wasn't his problem anymore. After Taipei 101, Juliet had become the Fowl's bodyguard. The only reason for him still living at Fowl Manor, was his connection with the People. He was the only way for Mr. and Mrs. Fowl to know something about their son.
He typed in his personal code, and the front door opened. Once he was outside, it closed immediately. Juliet had done some great upgrading.
He walked across the gravel, trying not to make a sound. Reaching the front gate, he was quiet pleased with himself; not a single crack.
His car stood outside the gate, seemingly waiting for him. His car, bought with his own money. He was proud of it. Bodyguards didn't have that much of their own.
He got in, and drove away.
An hour later, he was where he wanted to be: the beach. Here, no one could hear or see him, making it ideal for him to think, scream, cry, or whatever he wanted.
He locked the car, and walked onto the sand, near the water line. There, he gave way to all the emotions he'd cropped up the past days, along with the tension that had build up in him during the ride, in one, single cry.
He kept yelling and crying for about half a minute, sinking to his knees and gasping for breath. "Why," he asked again to the sky, which was brim-full with stars. "Why did you go? You didn't need to; they could have handled without you…"
As soon that he'd said it, he knew it was not true. Artemis was the only being right then and there, who could disable the bomb. He had known what needed to be done, and he had done it. Secretly, Butler felt a sense of pride for that, however, his feelings of despair and guilt where bigger.
He sat down in the sand, watching the stars shining down on him. The waves came and went, in an endless cycle. And he knew that, even if Artemis wouldn't come back, there would be something, or someone, else that would dominate his life, just like he knew that there would be another wave.
Don't think that, he told himself. He'll be back. He promised. And a Fowl always keeps word. Artemis Fowl most of all.
Despite the situation, he smiled.
He promised.