Old Stories

for Loren, my partner in crime and inspiration.
thanks for everything.

When Linali was a little girl, she had a striped tabby cat named Tiger. He was well loved and, as a result, extremely overfed. All he did was eat and sleep, but he still meant the world to Linali.

One day, he disappeared.

When Linali cried all day and wouldn't eat dinner or go to sleep, Komui sat down next to her on her bed and pulled her into his lap.

"Want a bedtime story from your dà ge, mèi mèi?" he asked her gently as he began to braid her hair.

"No," she sniffed tearfully, rubbing her eyes with her little fists. "I want Tiger."

"Please, Little Pear?" he begged, pulling her hands away from her face. "Just for me? You know you're the only one who listens to my stories."

"O..okay, ge ge," she agreed, putting one of her hands on his cheek, "don't be sad."

"Thank you," he smiled back, shifting her in his arms. "Well, it's an old story. Once, a very, very, very lo--"

"More!" Linali interrupted, sniffling a little less. Komui's smile widened.

"Very well. A very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very..." Komui paused to breathe, "...very, very, very, very, very, very long time ago, there was a man who lived in a little village. One day his horse, who he loved very much, ran away. Everyone was sad for him.

'Perhaps this will turn out to be a good thing,' comforted his father.

A few months later, the horse came back, bringing with him a very beautiful girl-horse from the north. Everyone was happy for him.

'Perhaps this will turn out to be a bad thing,' warned his father."

"Does his father not like the horse?" Linali asked, tugging on Komui's shirt.

"His father loves the horse very much too," Komui reassured. "But his father is very wise, too. Do you want to hear the rest now?" Linali nodded quickly and Komui continued.

"With two good horses now, he became fond of riding. One day he fell off the horse while out riding and broke his leg. Everyone was sad for him.

'Perhaps this will turn out to be a good thing,' comforted his father.

One year later--"

"A whole year?" Linali gasped.

Komui ran his fingers through her hair, nodding. "Yes, a whole year. A war broke out in their province. All able-bodied young men took up arms and fought against the invaders, and as a result, around the border nine out of ten men died."

"Is that a lot?"

"That's almost everyone, mèi mèi," Komui explained softly. "But the man did not join in the fighting because he was crippled and so both the man and his father survived. Do you know what the story means?"

"Uh-huh," Linali nodded proudly. "It means things that look bad can turn out to be bad things and things that look good can be bad things."

Which was what the moral was, really, but Komui didn't think Linali needed to be quite so deeply philosophical at her young age so he kissed her on the forehead and added, "Smart girl. It also means that everything works out in the end, even if it doesn't seem that way at first."

"So, does that mean Tiger is going to come back with another kitty for me?" Linali asked as Komui picked her up again to tuck her in.

"Maybe," Komui laughed. "He does have a way with pretty girls." He ruffled Linali's hair a little at that and brought the covers up to her chin. "Are you less sad now, mèi mèi?" Linali nodded and smiled for him, snuggling with her blanket.

"Can you sleep here tonight, ge ge?"

"Of course, Little Pear," he beamed back at her, climbing into bed next to her. He held out his arm and she all but plastered herself to his side.

"Wan an!" Linali yawned into Komui's chest.

"Sweet dreams," Komui answered.

Tiger returned a few days later in the arms of a man wearing a black and white uniform. He had a suspicious, somewhat mischievous air about him and was very obviously a foreigner with his bright red hair and pale, pink skin. Komui set the science book he had been taking notes out of down on the porch, where he had been watching Linali play from. Noticing the silver cross the man wore on his chest, Komui felt his blood run cold. The last time he had seen one of those uniforms--

"Hello?" he called in thickly accented Chinese. "I heard from the neighbors a little girl was missing her cat. I found him trying to eat my Golem this morning."

"Linali, stay where you--"

"Tiger!" Linali squealed, dropping her skipping rope to run over, holding out her arms for the cat. Cross stopped just short of giving the animal to her, abruptly blinking as he touched the breast of his coat.

"Interesting," he mused, dropping Tiger who quickly bolted into the house. He caught Linali's wrist with one hand just as she turned to follow the cat and pulled something that was glowing a pale green out of his coat at the same time. "Of all the places to meet an Exorcist..."

"Ge ge!" Linali cried, voice holding a note of terror but Komui was already there, grasping his sister firmly by the shoulder.

"Let her go," he ordered angrily. "We're grateful you brought the cat back and we'll be happy to compensate you for your trouble, but you should leave now."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," the stranger sighed with a slight shake of his hand, gesturing behind him with the hand that was holding the glowing sphere. A young Chinese girl in a white lab coat ran in at the motion, looking shocked.

"...Lou Fa?" Komui's eyes widened with recognition. She attended several of his classes at the University and was infamous for being one of the youngest to attend such advanced classes.

"This girl, Lou Fa," the stranger interrupted, nodding at Linali who was clinging the best she could to Komui's arm. "The East Asia branch isn't structured enough for an Exorcist so young. She'll have to be sent back to Europe."

"Europe?" Komui repeated in bewilderment. "Lou Fa, what's going on?"

"I'm so sorry, Komui-tóng xué! Linali... Linali is compatible with the Innocence the General is holding. She's... she's going to have to go with him," Lou Fa tried to explain, bowing her head because she found herself unable to meet Komui's eyes.

"To Europe? Why? What the hell is Innocence? She's six years old, Lou Fa! She's not going anywhere!" Komui snapped.

"It's not up to me, Komui! This is something much bigger than us!" Lou Fa answered, sounding at least as distraught as Komui looked. "She's compatible with Innocence! No one will let you keep her! China has an alliance with the Black Order! Even the branch members here won't help you! I'm sorry, Komui-tóng xué, but there's nothing you or I can do!"

"I have to get going on my mission, Lou Fa. I'll let you finish explaining to the young man here," Cross interjected casually, picking Linali up and out of Komui's grasp.

"Ge ge!" Linali cried out, thrashing against Cross' grip. "Ge ge! Don't let them take me, ge ge!" Her voice cracked as she sobbed the words out and Komui reached out for her. Casting Cross and utterly betrayed look, Lou Fa stepped in the way.

"Lou Fa! You can't take her away from me! I'm all she has in the world!"

She's all I have in the world.

"I'm sorry, Komui! It's out of my hands!"

"Let me go with her, then! She needs me!"

I need her.

"You can't. Just let her go, Komui-tóng xué! She's part of the Order now. We don't exist, Komui. Do you understand? The moment someone joins the Order, officially, we don't exist anymore. It'll be better if you live as though you never had a sister," Lou Fa explained, shaking her head sadly. Komui tried to push past her again but three men, all in white coats, had joined her, all standing betwen him and his sister.

"Ge ge!" Linali was still sobbing. "Ge ge!" Komui flinched every time he heard her call out for him.

"I'm not letting her lose the only family she has left, Lou Fa!" Komui snapped at his classmate, shoving her roughly back. Not expecting it, Lou Fa stumbled back and almost fell before one of her assistants caught her. Komui took a step forward after her, listening to the silence that echoed deafeningly loud in his ears after Linali's voice faded from earshot. Closing his eyes, Komui clenched both his hands at his sides, swallowing his pain. He did something he was becoming increasingly good at, trading his sorrow for strength. When he opened his eyes again, he glared at Lou Fa in a way that told her there was nothing he wouldn't give and nothing he wouldn't do to see his sister again.

"Tell me what I have to do. I don't care. Tell me everything."

"Komui..." Lou Fa sighed, looking away. "She's going to Europe. Even if I helped you into the East Asia branch, it'll be a long way before you can get to the main Headquarters if you even qualify to work there."

"I," Komui repeated, stressing each word, "don't care."

"...report to the North District's library at dawn tomorrow," Lou Fa answered after a long pause, voice defeated and extremely weary. "Welcome to the Black Order, Lee Komui."

It was three years of living on four hours of sleep and coffee later that Komui finally clawed his way onto a ship that would take him to the main headquarters of the Black Order. There were no words that could describe the pain it brought him to see what that time had done to his sister, strapped to a bed with her wrists all bandaged up. What unspeakable horrors could drive a nine year old to suicide? She didn't even see him at first, staring blankly at the ceiling with tears in her eyes, still asking to go home. Three years later, she was still asking to go home.

"This is home," he whispered, voice steady only because it had to be. He was her big brother. He had to be strong for her. Slowly she turned her head, staring at him as though she couldn't quite believe he was there, as though trying to discern whether or not she was dreaming another cruel dream.

"Sorry I'm late," he apologized as lightly as he could, as though he had only stayed too late at school or spent too much time at the supermarket. "I'm home. From now on, I'll live here too. We can be together again."

"G-"...ge ge?" she asked uncertainly, pulling at her bound arms. The sight was too painful for Komui to bear.

"Do you want to hear a bedtime story, mèi mèi?" he asked her quietly as he carefully unfastened the restraints. He blinked the tears out of his eyes as he very carefully scooped her into his arms.

"...ge ge?" she repeated, unsteadily reaching up to touch his cheek. "G-ge ge, you're here, you're... Don't be sad."

"It's an old story," Komui whispered, holding her as closely and as tightly as he dared. His shoulders began to tremble very slightly as he tried to hold back the tears. "Once, a very long time ago..." Linali's grip on Komui tightened a fraction and he smiled a watery sort of smile.

"A very, very, very, very, very, very long time ago..."

A hundred and forty-eight dead. Six Exorcists. Exorcists like Linali. A hundred and forty-two Finders. Finders like the boy Linali had befriended when she was younger, shortly after Komui arrived. The boy who had also died, whose coffin Linali had sat in front of, still attached to her IV drip, crying with that empty expression that terrified Komui so much. A hundred and forty eight. Komui had signed those dispatch slips. Komui had sent them all out to die. How many times had he stamped dispatch slips for Linali's missions? How many times had he given someone a mission he knew they wouldn't come back from to save his sister? How many more would there be? Just looking at the piles of paper on his desk was dizzying. He couldn't do it anymore, couldn't... he had to focus. Focus only on winning. On victory. On the job he had taken so he could be with his sister again. He couldn't break. He had to keep... keep...

"Supervisor Komui!" Johnny's voice called from the other side of his door. "These papers need your signature."

Not today. He couldn't sign anything else today. He locked the door to his office and sank down against it, covering his face with his hand. Linali was still out there. He remembered sending her out. Linali was still out there and he didn't know how or when she would be coming home.

The phone rang some hours later, after Komui had stopped staring blankly at the papers on his floor, having moved on to staring blankly at the books that lined his walls. He almost didn't get up to answer it, but there was always the chance it was Linali calling. She checked in from time to time so he wouldn't worry. With some effort, he pushed away from the door and made it over to his desk.

"Hello...?"

"Ge ge!" came Linali's bright greeting. "You know, the oddest thing happened today."

"With your mission?" Komui asked, feeling a stab of anxiety in his chest. "What happened? Is everything okay?"

"Oh, no," Linali laughed. "Nothing like that. Captain Reever called. He said you weren't doing your work. I was so shocked!"

"Are you making fun of me, Linali...?" Komui asked, unable to help the smile that found his way to his lips.

"I would never dare," Linali teased back. "But he did call. He told me... everything. I know we haven't had a funeral like that in a long time, ge ge. Don't be sad, okay? I'll tell you a bedtime story, and then you get back to work, okay?"

"Linali..." Komui began, then shook his head and sat down at his desk.

"It's an old story. You have to tell me what it means when I'm done, okay?"

"...okay," Komui agreed with a wearily glad smile.

"Good! So, once, a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time ago..."

++end++

Author's notes: Komui intermittently calls Linali 'Little Pear'. The Chinese, at least the ones in my family, tend to give strange nicknames to the children. Since Linali really isn't anything resembling a Chinese name, I did the best I could and took out the 'Li' part of her name. 'Li' is Chinese for 'pear' given the right intonation. Traditionally, in my experience, this would result in her close family calling her 'Li-Li'. I thought a rough translation of that would sound better, hence 'Little Pear'. Also, instead of 'oniisan' or any other Japanese equivalent to 'older brother', I opted for 'ge ge', which is the Chinese term, for a more authentic approach to Linali and Komui's ethnicity. Here's a quick glossary of the other Chinese terms I used:

'da ge' is literally 'big brother'

'mei mei' is 'little sister'

'wan an' is 'goodnight'

'tong xue' is 'classmate'