CHAPTER 1:

Curve-ball

"I think I got everything..." I ran through a imaginary list in my head, checking off every thing that I can account for in my luggage. My hands thumbed through the layers of clothing, as I nervously made sure I wouldn't leave anything behind. Suddenly, a loud tap against the door startled me from my focused state.

"What the- God damn it, don't scare me like that!" It was J.J standing in the door way of the dorm room, just shaking his head.

"Dude. Relax. I'm sure Clare is fine." he spoke, crossing his arms in front of him. I rolled my eyes, and continued packing.

"You didn't hear her voice on the phone.. She sounded so... Pained.. Worried, as if she is hiding something. I know my Clare, and this isn't her." my hands went to my head, as I felt this sense of dizziness. All of this stress and uncertainty has got my body slowly breaking down. No sleep, barely eating, all of this ever since she called me a week ago...

-FLASHBACK-

"Hey Eli..." my angel's voice filled my ears through the cellphone speaker.

"Why hello there, my love. How was your day?" I couldn't help but smirk. Hell, she makes me so happy. Every time I hear her voice, my heart flutters like the first time I met her.

"It was.. great, I guess.." her voice seemed so dull, so lifeless. Almost hearing caused a pain in my chest.

"You guess? May I ask what happened to make your day "great, I guess"?" I sat down on the end of my bed, the phone grasped tight in my hand.

"It's nothing, Eli. Just been a rough couple of days... Haven't been feeling one-hundred percent..." her voice broke at the end, making my body shudder to hold back tears.

"Well don't stress yourself too much.. If you feel sick, stay home. I know you are an over-achiever, but don't let that ruin that perfect body of yours.." My smiled returned, but slowly diminished when there was a long pause on the phone.

"Well anyway, I'm going to let you go for now.. I have to get going on my homework. I love you." I spoke softly, hoping for a response from her.

"...I love you to.. Eli..." She spoke softer then I did, then left me with silence.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

"Does Clare even know you're coming back home for the weekend?" J.J voiced as he plopped himself on my bed.

"No.. I figured I surprise her." I said as I zipped up my luggage, and quickly placed the straps of my backpack on my shoulders.

"Well whatever. Hey is it alright if I bring chicks in while you're gone and have a little "J.J Party Fun Time"?" he asked while getting up. I looked at him, just shaking in utter disgust. "Yeah whatever.. Just don't ruin my stuff." I said, soon turned around to find Lenore standing in the door way.

"I'll make sure this loser doesn't mess anything up." she said as she walked in. Things have been awkward between her and I ever since I got back together with Clare. She was very angry at the situation, and didn't speak to me for days, until we had to work on a project together. Then, she had to grit her teeth and put up with me.

"Thanks.." I said, fixing my backpack straps while staring at her.

"Eli... I'm sorry for how I have been treating you... I just like you so much, and to see you get back together with the girl that has broken your heart numerous times-"

"Hey... We have had our ups and downs, but this is the woman who has made her mark in my life. She helped me through hell and back... As I did the same for her.." Her face saddened, but all she could do was put out a small smile.

"Just.. Don't let her break your heart again, okay?... I don't want to see you drinking the sadness away" she giggled out softly. I couldn't help but laugh too. Lenore has been helpful and a great friend, but never can she over power my Clare. I reached out and gave her a hug goodbye, and headed out the door, awaiting my journey back home.

For god knows how long, I have been sitting on the plane, wanting it to land as soon as possible. My mind kept running through various scenarios of what could be wrong with my Clare. Did something happen to her parents? Is her health okay? Did the cancer return? So many of those horrid ideas flowed through my exhausted brain the entirety of my trip. When the plane finally landed, I couldn't help but try my best to rush out of the plane, not caring of others around me.

I managed to quickly speed out into the terminal, coming across to see my parents holding a sign saying "Goldsworthy". I laughed and shook my head as I approached them. My mother grasped her hands then hugged me tightly.

"Oh baby boy it's so good to see you." she patted my back as she released me from her tight grip. My dad placed a hand on my shoulder and looked at me. "Hey you little runt." he ruffled up my hair a bit, laughing. "You hungry?"

"Uhm nah not really. I had a big breakfast." It sucked lying to my parents, but I didn't want them to worrying about my lack of an appetite.

"Alrighty then. Well can you at least hang with us for an hour before running off to see my future daughter-in-law?" My mother smiled at me, and all I could do is smile back. It's a dream to marry Clare. Though I know she won't be ready for a while, those dreams of her in a wedding gown, calling herself "Mrs. Goldsworthy", still flood my imagination.

"Yes, mom. I wanna catch up with you guys. Besides, Clare is still in school, and as much as Principal Simpson likes me, I don't think he'd appreciate me taking a student out of class." I laughed as we began walking away from the airport building, dragging along my luggage to my mom's car. I guess this would give me time to gain the courage to face the ultimate fear, of which is discovering my love's hidden secret...

Hours upon hours past, my heart racing as the time grew closer to when Clare is out of school. My mother rambled on about her friends from work, and other meaningless gossip. My father sits right across from me, sipping a beer and occasionally breaking conversation. Slowly, I got up, taking a deep breath.

"While all this chatter is intriguing, I do have to attend to my love. She should be home by now." My mother sat up with me, and reached over and fixed my hair. "You should at least look decent for the pretty lady" she said as I pushed her hands away.

"I look fine, mom." I said as I fixed my jean jacket. You can do it, Eli... Think positive. Yeah, brain. Like I can think positive now. I kissed my mom on the cheek, and headed out the door.

My legs felt like jello, to be honest. Every step I took as I got closer to Clare's made my body feel like it's going to float away, or just make me collapse. When her house became visible in my eyes, I could honestly feel my heart going up my throat. Taking a few deep breaths, I approached her house slowly. Just knock on the door. It's that simple. My hands were shaky as my knuckles collided with wine colored door. A few moments of silence passed by before I heard the rattling of the door knob. The door crept open slowly as the my eyes met with hers. I expected to see my usual Clare. Her light umber hair tousled gently, her azure eyes bursting through the irises. Her clothing primp and proper, fitting her curves nicely.

No. The Clare Edwards that was before me was not that girl. That image faded to what she stands in front of me now, her hair pinned back to hide the mess, her eyes dull and lifeless, almost as if she hadn't slept in months. Her body held up a baggy dress and hoodie. It looked like her life had been sucked away from her slowly and harshly.

"Eli?..." Her eyes widened as she instantly covered her stomach up. My eyebrow rose up.

"I wanted to..surprise you.." I spoke out slowly. "The last time you called me, you seemed a little off, so I wanted to make sure you were alright-" I was immediately interrupted by her clashing into my chest, her arms wrapped around me in a sense of security. My arms held her tightly against my body, resting my chin on the top of her head. "Oh Clare, I missed you..." I shut my eyes tight as I fought tears. Tears of joy seeing her, temporarily wiping away the worried mind set I've been having.

"Eli, you have no idea how I've been missing you.. Needing you.." her hands grasped my jean jacket tightly, as she then pulled away slowly. I placed my hands on her delicate face, my eyes meeting with hers.

"Beautiful, if you needed me then why couldn't you have just told me? I could have been here so sooner.." Her eyes shut, and she pulled my hands away.

"Eli, it's not that easy..." she walked away, heading into the next room, which was the kitchen. I went after her, my hand gliding across the counter top of the sink.

"What, Clare? What is going on with you?" my voice tone increased, getting more frustrated and worried that she is indeed hiding something from me.

"What do you mean? I told you Eli I haven't been feeling well.." she looked away and down at her feet, not even wanting to meet eye contact with me.

"No, that is bullshit, and you know it." I said while sitting on the near by kitchen stool. Her eyes fluttered back up, looking like she is on the brink of tears.

"Eli, I didn't want to find out, so I'm sure you don't want to know it either." her voice broke at the end, and her eyes flooded with tears. I stood up and approached her.

"Clare... No matter what is going on in your life, I will always be there to support you.. I love you, Clare Edwards.." I grasped her hand gently. I felt her body shake, as she looked up at me with her teary sea that filled her eyes.

"Eli... I'm pregnant..." the words hit me like a ton of bricks.. The last time we had sex was the visit before the Wild West Night chaos. We did use protection. I don't know how the hell this could have happened..

"Clare... My god..." My mind was still processing all these words. "Shit. I thought I used protection. I tried preventing this from happening and-"

"Eli.." She interrupted me. "You did everything you could.. It was me..." I'm confused? What the hell does she mean?

"It..it is mine...right?" I uttered the words, wishing she would give me the response I want to hear. It was nothing but a dead silence as she stared at me, and all that stare did was leave a stabbing pain in my chest.