A/N: So, hopefully... It'll get better. I'm terrible at fan-fictions, but I had to give this one a try. It starts slow, but it should get better. I'll try to add a full summary of the story on Chapter 2's A/N. I'd like to credit DoctorFifty, xoRosalie_Hale, CutieAMC, 108Jake, and AliceMBCullen on Twitter for acting out the upcoming chapters and helping me with the direction of the story.
I pat the steering wheel with my fingers, gazing at the still brick building beside me that holds my child inside. I'm early. I glance at the clock which says thirty minutes after two, Alexis gets out of kindergarten quarter till three. While I wait, the back of my head finds the head rest and I let it stay there for a moment, closing my eyes. It's been a long few days at the hospital, especially busy in the NICU, more and more premature babies each day it seems, and not enough incubators to keep them all. It was all so sad. Each family, each story, and sometimes the ending. That's the one thing I didn't expect out of my job, I should have, but I suppose I was young and greatly naïve to believe that every patient I saw could have a happy ending because of me. I learned the hard way that just because I went through medical school didn't mean I could save every life and every family, it just meant I had special training to help. I couldn't guarantee anything. And for some reason, in that moment, I began to think about the earlier days when I was in my late teens, early twenties, when I was emerged into this world of sin, sex, pride, and abuse. A world I enjoyed and thrived off of, a world I wish I had never found. I was a dominant. I changed my ways after falling in love with Tanya Masen, who was way too classy and beautiful to be apart of such a world or to even be associated with the word, "submissive". No, that wasn't her. Tanya Masen was of an elegance I can't even begin to describe. The Masen sisters, (Carmen, Irina, Tanya, and Kate) were all quite wealthy. Their father was—is the most successful lawyer in Seattle, Washington. Need I say more? I sigh hearing a faint bell interrupting my relaxation, however, I do not move from my position. I reflect on Tanya for a few more moments before fluttering my eyes opened, seeing my small child standing shyly on the sidewalk, her curly strawberry blonde locks bouncing in front of her face. I get out of my car smoothly and appear a few feet away from her. She squeals, "Daddy!" and jumps into my arms at once. I inhale the smell of her and kiss her cheek, cherishing the moment I wish I could stay in for always and forever.
"How was my princess's first day?" I ask, knelt down on one knee while she slings her book bag down to the ground. Out of habit, I pick up the small Dora backpack and throw it over my shoulder.
"It was great!" she raves, "Miss Kelly is so nice. She let us have snacks anytime we want while she teaches! Isn't that cool? She's pretty, too." I catch a glance at her, standing at the entrance way to the school. I can tell she's ready to make conversation, so I stand up and take Alexis's hand leading her to the car. "What did you learn?" I ask, interested, while I buckle her in the backseat. "Mmmmm..." she puts a finger to her lips, then shrugs. "Not much really." I slide into the front seat with a smirk, looking into the rear-view mirror. "Not much?" I question, playfully. "Daddy," she half-whines. "You never learn that much on the first day." I chuckle. "I see." Once we get home, I am relieved I have a few more hours of relaxation to look forward to. Alexis happily runs upstairs to put up her things and I make my way into the kitchen for an early supper, I have already prepared her favorite spaghettios and all I have to do is set it in the microwave to heat. I slide it in and press three minutes, leaning up against the kitchen counter looking down at my feet. I'm stressed, exhausted, and I have a lot on my mind. I walk from the kitchen to the hall into my bedroom and out the balcony. I slide a cigarette between my lips and light it quickly, I only have a few moments to waste. Alexis knows I smoke but I rarely do this around her, and definitely not in the house. I exhale through my parted lips, looking at the view of the city just over my backyard. After I finish, I sweep through my bedroom and grab a framed picture of Tanya, casually walking into the kitchen settling it on the kitchen counter. Just in time, I think. Alexis is already sitting at the island on her knees with a fork and spoon.
"I'm all cleaned up, Daddy!" Alexis sings. She looks like Tanya.
"And you're all ready for your favorite supper?" I say, playing along with her. "Yes, yes!" she chirps, smiling wide. I place two plates on the table and I settle across from her. "Now, say your prayer." Alexis nods and closes her eyes, silently praying to herself. I do the same. She tells me more about her day in school and like the little adult she is she asks me about the hospital shift I had the previous night. "Fine," I respond, flat. "I don't like it when you go so long..." I'm surprised when she glances towards the picture of Tanya and stares for awhile before turning her gaze back to mine. "I worry." she sighs, patting the napkin in her lap. Little adult, I think again. She also sounds like my mother. "Why do you worry?" I ask, suddenly concerned taking a bite of the spaghetti. Alexis glances at the picture again. "Nothing." she says, picking at her food. I take her hand in mine.
"Alexis, you know you can tell Daddy anything, right?"
"Yes."
"Then tell me."
She doesn't say anything. I sigh and after we eat I excuse her from the table. This bothers me, I knew she thought about her mother, but she doesn't have one memory with Tanya. Of course, I guess she's of age to be bringing this up now, she is six, after all.
"Good evening, Dr. Cullen." Judy says, while typing on her computer. I sit at my desk next to her and smile. "Good evening, Judy, how are you?" I casually ask, going through a few files from last night.
"Same old, same old." She says over the clicks of the keyboard. "And you?" she swings her head to face me, still half-typing. God, look at that woman go. "Same old, same old." I mimic her tone and lean back in my chair looking at a patients record. "I feel ya. How's Alexis holdin' up? First day of kindergarten huh? I bet you feel old." I laugh. "Older everyday." Judy turns her attention back to her computer with a smile on her face. "Dr. Cullen to the NICU, Dr. Cullen to the NICU." I stand up, stretching. "That's me." I say, swinging around the nurses station. "See ya!" I faintly hear her say. I wave in response. I walk out of the elevator and into the NICU quickly going behind the nurse station there, finding out why I've been called. With a file in hand, I walk into one of the nursery's seeing two young women looking over an incubator. "Hello, Miss Volt, I am Dr. Cullen, It's nice to meet you." I hold my hand out and the women looks confused. "Oh, no. It's her." The blonde points to mother looking over her child with light tears brimming in her eyes. The woman turns her gaze to me and offers her hand, sitting down in one of the rocking chairs I join, sitting across from her in another one. I watch for a moment as the blonde, (who I assume is Miss Hale, the one listed as her only contact) stands behind Miss Volt and rubs her shoulders soothingly while I tell her the diagnosis of her daughter, Emma. "The good news is, once all of this is said and done, Emma should have a very normal and happy life." I conclude to their relief. "Thank you, so much." Miss Volt places her hand over mine and looks back at the small baby in the incubator. "Corin," Miss Hale says walking around the rocking chair to face her. "Why don't you go home for a few hours? I'll stay here. But you, you need some rest. Please?" she says, Corin argues for a few moments before finally giving into her exhaustion and Miss Hale watches her leave, leaving us alone together. She sits down in the rocking chair and rocks softly back and forth.
I check on Emma again before ever so slowly lifting her up into my arms myself. I wasn't sure if Miss Hale would be comfortable enough for this yet, some are strange about holding a child with wires and tubes everywhere. I, however, know Emma could use a good pair of arms to sooth her into a more relaxing sleep. I sit down in the rocking chair across from her, suddenly not aware of Miss Hale anymore. I hum a tune, a lullaby, different from Alexis's, hoping It'll slowly ease her into dreamland. It does soon enough and I stop rocking, settling her back into her incubator and rubbing her small cheek with my finger. "Goodnight, Emma." I whisper and catch a glance at Miss Hale before exiting the nursery to do the rest of my rounds.