Santana, do you remember that day in our freshman year when Coach Sue made us do some crazy stunts and I was the only one who went through all of them without a mistake? You could've done it, too, if you hadn't had the worst cramps of your life that day. Though I didn't know that at the time because I didn't know you that well. You told me later.
Anyway, that day was also the day I was called on in class for the first time and, of course, I gave a stupid answer. I remember it was Ms. Robinson's English class, but I don't remember the question or what I said. I just remember my mind went super blank when she called my name because I knew I would screw up and the way the whole room became silent, like really weird silent, before everyone began snickering after I answered. And the way Ms. Robinson frowned at me like she was wondering if I was joking. I wish I'd known you were sitting right behind me then, Santana, and that you weren't snickering. Did you see my ears get hot and red? Because they totally did. I was already used to things like that by then, but it still hurt, and I kinda wanted to cry then.
But yeah, many girls from the Cheerios were in that class, and after Coach Sue poked everyone except me with that strange Japanese bamboo rod thing she brought into practice that day—that was scary—for not being able to do the stunts, those girls huddled around, glaring at me and whispering, like whispering loud enough so I could hear they were calling me stupid. That's bullying. I knew that even then. I wouldn't tolerate it, but at that time I was just a high school freshman, so I didn't know what to do. I just went and sat on a bench and watched them until they got tired of talking and left to shower and change, and I waited longer so I didn't have to see them in the locker room, and then when I thought I was all alone and started thinking about crying, Santana, you came up to me from nowhere. Yeah, I remember what you said to me.
You came up to me and said, "Brittany, I took care of those idiots." I was shocked because I didn't know you knew my name. I knew your name, of course. I'd known it for like a week since the first day of practice and been wanting to talk to you. But I didn't know you were thinking the same thing. I also thought you were calling me an idiot first, because whenever someone said the word in front of me, it was me, but then I realized you weren't saying that about me, and it was like I was hit by a thunder and then the sky cleared up and flowers began blooming all of a sudden. I didn't know what to say, Santana, so I just said, "You did?" and you nodded and smiled, and it was like the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.
And then, you reached out and took my hand. You helped me up and walked me to the locker room. You put your arm around me like you'd always done that, so I did, too, and it felt so right that I couldn't believe I hadn't had you in my life for 15 years. It's still crazy when I think about it, you know. 15 years is a lot of time, and when you came, it was like I had finally found a missing piece of my puzzle, a really important one like the nipple part of a nude lady puzzle. I wasn't sad anymore. I was happy and peaceful and safe and excited because you were right next to me and I could feel how warm and soft your body was and when I looked up, your eyes were right there, looking at me, those dark, dark eyes beautiful like a night in the desert.
Do you remember that day?
That day you picked me up and held my hand and took me out of the sad place. Like you did today after the Regionals. I thought a lot has changed in the past 4 years I've known you, but I don't know, maybe nothing has really changed. You still pick me up when I need you and you put your arm around me and make me feel safe and believe everything's gonna be alright. I have a feeling you always will, and you know I'll always do that for you, too, right? I'll drive to New York anytime if you need me. Or wherever. Even if you're on the South Pole, I'll fly to you—is there an airport on the South Pole? Well, if not, I'll ride a sleigh.
You happened to me that day, Santana, and I can't make you unhappen.