I didn't used to be lonely… I wasn't ever lonely before I knew what it was like to have someone. I met him when I first started high school… I fell in love. So hard I didn't even mean to. I didn't want to and I still wish I never did. He was my world he was the person I lived for…literally but then he graduated and left. He has not been the same. I don't know who he is anymore. He isn't romantic he goes of drinking at parties he isn't considerate or loving. His looks changed too… he stopped running starting eating whatever stopped sleeping normally. It's like he's on drugs. I miss him so much it's insane. I never even knew I loved him this much until he was gone. I guess I took him for granted but it shouldn't have been like this anyways. He stopped calling stopped texting stopped visiting. It was terrible I couldn't stand it anymore. And the GIRLS all those other girls he knew and he talked to I hated them and I hated him for saying they were pretty. He never said anything like that before. I was the only pretty girl in his life and now there are so many others… I want the past I want it so bad. He used to always be there. He told me he loved me. He told me he'd marry me. Now he doesn't care if I call.
We met so perfectly…like right out of a movie. It was at a football game my freshman year. I played the stupid wrong note on my flute and he happened to hear it and turn around… We have been together since then. I am such an idiot. I should have known an older guy would hurt me like this… Actually any guy would hurt me the way I gave in, the way I dove headfirst into loving. I was scared… so scared, and so reluctant. But he said he'd always be there. So why did I have to worry. Well if he had stayed the same he would always be there, but that guy is gone… gone forever.