Title: The Awful

Author: Evil_Little_Dog

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: This is a derivative work, and, as such, I make absolutely no money writing this. Darn the luck.

Summary: Harry thinks Bob needs to read Y.A.

Notes: Written for the LJ Community, Comment_Fic.

I usually bought Bob raunchy bodice rippers and regretted it - Bob's tastes ran toward the terrible, worse, he sometimes liked to quote whole passages to me while I was trying to do other work. Do you have any idea how disconcerting it is, to hear about Rubio's throbbing or swelling or expanding manhood igniting the flames of desire in Lucretia's loins?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Any attempts to bring something less than trashy to Bob's attention were usually met with the worst derision. He liked to say he knew Shakespeare's ghost writer (not called that back then, mind), and could tell good crap from bad - and still preferred naughty to anything. At least he hadn't started insisting on Playboys, or worse, Penthouse Forums to read. I don't think I could handle the possible ectoplasm resulting from such an experiment, especially around Little Chicago.

So, one day, I got a wild hair, seeing a title of something on the, "Please pick up a book and leave a dollar" outside bookshelf in front of one of the stores I frequented for Bob's fix, and couldn't help but pick it up. "Here," I said, shoving the book under Bob's skull, "something different."

"Different how?" The eyesockets lit up and Bob seemed to be considering. "Harry, what is this? Vampires?"

"Just read it, Bob."

Stupid me. Because after reading the first book, Bob started waxing rhapsodically about the sheer beauty that was Bella with the birdlike name and her glow-in-the-day vampire swain, Edward Cullen. I was learning way more than I wanted to know about their habits, and how Bob couldn't wait for me to get him the second book. How werewolves were kind of dull and needed some additional depth to them.

This went on for weeks, with Bob even ignoring the new bodice rippers I bought for him to go on about Twilight. I finally had to ask. "What's going on with this, Bob?"

Bob somehow smiled. It's creepy, since he's just a skull, who doesn't move, just lights up like a Christmas tree. "Just broadening my horizons for the awful, Harry. Next, can you get me some of the Divergent books?"

~ end ~