I Keep Trying

Clint lay curled into the fetal position in the center of a now empty bed. He felt like he was falling but this time no one was going to catch him. He had lost his two best friends/lovers and he wasn't sure he'd ever get them back.

Natasha had left a few months ago. She had refused to give Clint or Bruce a reason as to why. But Bruce being of the mindset that he's a 'monster', even without being green, blamed himself. After Nat left Clint and Bruce drifted until Clint was left all alone.

Another sob caused Clint's body to shake. He missed his imperfect little family. Thoughts of all of them together and happy flooded his mind causing him to cry uncontrollably into the pillow he held tight.

Bruce sat in Tony's lab alone trying to focus on working on something…anything. But he was unable to look away from the framed photo sitting in front of him. The smiling faces of Natasha and Clint beamed at him from behind the glass. A few more tears escaped his eyes and splashed down onto his desk. Adding to the small puddle that was already present.

He wanted more than anything to go back to the day the picture was taken. All of them together, all of them happy and in love…it was a week later that she had left. Her leaving had caused him to go back to blaming himself for everything that went wrong. He hadn't been able to comfort Clint when he needed it. He had let him slip into a depression and then he left him. Just like Natasha had left them both.

Bruce slammed his fists down on the desk as more tears swam down his cheeks. The image of a broken and hurting Clint burned into his eyes. The pain that his eyes had held as he begged Bruce to stay. Every time Bruce remembered those eyes it ripped his heart to pieces all over again.

Natasha sat at the airport her plane didn't leave for another hour or so. That was an hour she had to change her mind, an hour to run like she did before. She hadn't even had the courage to tell them why. She had just slipped out one night, leaving them with nothing but a note saying ' It's over…I'm sorry'.

That had been seven months ago and she had had no contact with them since. Her hand slipped to the now noticeable bump that was now her stomach. Why hadn't she just told them? More importantly why had she kept them? She had made several appointments to terminate but never followed through with them.

The boarding call came overhead for her flight. She sat for a moment longer debating. Why had she kept them? Then she stood and headed off to board her flight. She had kept them because they were a part of them. But she had decided she didn't just want part she wanted all of them. She wanted her imperfect little family back, plus two.

Clint had been so busy crying he hadn't heard the doorbell. So when a figure appeared in the bedroom he was caught off guard. He wiped his eyes on the pillow he clung to and tried to adjust them to the dark when the figure moved closer. As realization of who it was hit him he began to cry again.

Bruce closed the small space between him and Clint as Clint began to cry harder. He had been the cause of these tears and he couldn't take it anymore. He wrapped his arms tightly around his former lover. There they both just cried until neither had any tears left.

The room was dark and cold but neither moved. Clint was too afraid to let go for fear it was all a dream and Bruce would vanish the moment he released him. Bruce was terrified that if Clint were to let go of him he would just fall apart. He clung tighter to Clint in an attempt to hold himself together. Eventually Clint pulled back enough to stare into Bruce's eyes. Neither spoke they just stared. Clint knew then that things between them weren't over and that Bruce wasn't going to leave again.

A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over them as everything, all the tears all the heart ache, finally caught up to them. Bruce slipped off his shoes and crawled onto his side of the bed. Clint yawned and fell back into his spot next to Bruce. Bruce wrapped his arms around Clint's waist and pulled him tight against him. He placed a soft kiss to Clint's temple before whispering, "I love you". Clint smiled and whispered back "I love you too".

Natasha fumbled with her key, hoping they hadn't changed the locks, as she tried to sneak in quietly. She placed her bag by the door and headed to the bedroom. She stopped at the doorway as she watched the sunlight pour over her lovers. They were tangled together in a tight embrace.

Her eyes watered slightly as she noticed their tear stained cheeks and red puffy eyes. Clint looked so fragile for once in his life and Bruce looked as if he was just barely holding it together. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she walked back out to the kitchen.

Bruce was awakened by the smell of coffee. He began to untangle himself from Clint only to be met with Clint's pitiful whimpers. Bruce smiled and placed a kiss at the corner of Clint's lips.

Clint's eyes fluttered open as the scent of coffee and the pressure of Bruce's lips called him out of dreamland. Both untangled from each other and headed down the hall to figure out who their guest was.

Natasha sat at the table drinking a glass of juice as both men stumbled into the kitchen. They froze at the sight of the red head sitting at the table smiling at them. Natasha stood up and both jaws dropped.

"Guys, what do you say we give this imperfect family of ours another try? Only this time with plus two."