A/N: So I got my first prompt on my tumblr page. Yay! And I managed to chug this out of my brain. I'm kinda happy with the result? I don't know, had to go look around on the internet to see what were some fitting cheesy pickup lines for Wally.
Here's my prompt:
unboundy, you should definitely write a fic about Wally belting all his best pick-up lines on Artemis! xD That would be hilarious!
Anon had a lovely idea. I just wasn't sure if this was what they wanted. Oh well! I hope they and you all enjoy this be it that I haven't written an Artemis/Wally fic in forever.
I encourage anyone to drop my tumblr page and leave me a prompt. Just try to give me ideas with variety and not all "Spitfire", okay?
The first time he said something that even resembled a pick up line, she could only raise an eyebrow at him because it did seem like an appropriate time for him to even say something.
Of course, he just had to crash into the wall while she was walking by, probably speeding off to do some nonsense bullshit that he always did. But nonetheless, she only smirked at him as he muttered a curse whilst rubbing his nose experimentally. He brightened when he laid his eyes on her, and dropped his hand, momentarily forgetting the soreness.
"I see you still need to work on your stopping, SpedEx," she commented lightly, placing her hands on her hips smugly.
He shrugged just before he aimed what he would probably call his suave smile at her, "I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there," he jerked a thumb backwards over his shoulder, directing it to said wall, "so I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."
She blinked. He grinned wider. She crossed her arms. He winked.
Against all odds, she just had to react to it because one, that's what she did, and two, when did he start directing his cheesy lines towards her?
"Wally, we've been teammates for how long now, so why need to ask for my name? Don't answer, it was rhetorical...Besides, you don't pay insurance...in fact, I know you don't pay insurance."
Before he could even get a word in, she flipped her ponytail over her shoulder and turned to walk away from him, but not before she called over her shoulder, "Try again."
xXx
It was in uniform when he tried his hand at exposing Artemis to a little more Wally charm. She had pushed him up against the far wall, hand splayed over his chest just as footsteps clanked overhead on the platform above them. She was quite aware that his head tilted off to the side, his bangs tickling her forehead, and looked up at him with a glare while her other hand quickly pressing a finger to her lips, signaling to keep his big mouth shut. It did nothing to direct his eyes away from her lips though.
They waited in the same position, she strained her ears for anyone that might head for their direction, and he, simply studied her until she lost her nerve and demanded he tell her what his problem was, mentally of course.
-If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.-
-Well, you're just dressed in yellow.-
-Which is fine, you walking in slow motion works just as well.-
-Yeah? Well, I'm green, and that means we need to go. NOW!-
She swatted his arm lightly, before grasping it and tugging him around the corner when she was certain the cost was clear.
xXx
His third attempt really just made him sound stupid. Sure he did try for flattery.
"Were your parents Greek Gods? 'Cause it takes two gods to make a goddess."
Maybe it was time to reconsider Wonder Woman's invitation to Themyscira and join the Amazonians...only to get away from Wally's obnoxious antics.
She didn't even give him a response this time and just walked away.
xXx
After awhile he started to be a little more forward and a little less innocent, but still equally cheesy. She had just opened the fridge to get a carton of milk out to go with the fresh batch of cookies that M'gann had pulled out of the oven, and when she had closed the door. There he was, casually leaning on the other side, where he wasn't just a minute before.
She jumped, almost dropping her one and only source for milk on the base...almost. She may not be a speedster, but her reflexes allowed her to catch it before it got past her hip. Ha! Take that gravity!
"Jesus, Wally! What the hell are you trying to do?"
Wally grinned at her with ease and leaned forward, supporting his weight on the arm that was on the fridge. "I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but..." she felt the whoosh of the air, and silently huffed when her ponytail, which had been hanging lifelessly behind her back was now flipped over her shoulder. In annoyance she flipped it back over, only to feel another whoosh and have it back over her shoulder. "I'm Batman!"
Well...his words did seem to backfire on him, probably because he was wearing what was most likely a poorly made imitation of the bat cowl, and had a store bought cape tied around his neck. His hands were on his hips with his shoulders held back to show off his expansive -not- chest.
Before she could even say anything, someone else had caught her attention...and he didn't seem all too pleased to be there. Artemis directed her gaze back to Wally, who had missed her shift in attention, and smiled sweetly at him before she grabbed her bowl of cereal and walked out of the kitchen area to leave him off with the person he had claimed to be.
She didn't miss the spluttering and the quick excuses Wally was spouting off to the Dark Knight.
xXx
They both looked up at the offensive ornament. It supposedly represented what a mistletoe meant during Christmas...only it wasn't a mistletoe nor was it Christmas. It was a stupid, lacy pink heart.
"This is ridiculous," she voiced out.
"I believe it is the Cave's tradition to do so now. We have all agreed that it would make Mount Justice more fun and bearable for us." Yes...thank you, Kaldur, for trying to make this all sound reasonable when it wasn't.
The only thing that made this whole situation worse was that they had an audience, which meant there was no way of getting out of this. The girls were really unsupportive -which really was just being supportive- what with M'gann's thumb's up, Zatanna's smirk (someone had been spending her time with a certain bird), and Raquel's arms crossed under her chest as she casually bumped her hip to Robin's side, both shared amused looks before they returned to looking at Wally and Artemis expectantly. At least Conner looked like he could have wanted to do something else. Thank god they had at least one sane member on the team.
"Well," Wally started, causing her to look back up at him, "are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?"
She snorted, "You're seriously admitting to everyone that you have a diary?"
He tsked, "Well...I don't have a diary per say. More like a tortoise named Velocity. I tell him everything."
Artemis narrowed her eyes, looking for any clues if he was lying, but since she couldn't put it past him to actually have a pet reptile named Velocity, she decided that he was probably telling the truth. How sad...
With a sigh, she reached up, revelling when his eyes widen in surprise as she pulls his head down slightly. A thrill of amusement courses through her body when she sees him close his eyes and pursed his lips slightly. She contemplated actually doing it, but decided that she should go ahead with what she had originally planned and tiptoed up to press her lips to his forehead for a few seconds. After that, she pushed him away with a huff, and turns to her downtrodden friends and snarkily states, "There! Happy now?" before she takes her coat and zetabeams the hell out of there.
xXx
She sat in the medical bay by his bedside. Her eyes studied his person. God, there were so many scratches that she had lost count three times, and that was only on his face and neck. Her hands were clasped around his as if she were sharing some of her life energy with him. When she had found him, he had already lost consciousness, and his heartbeat had been so faint that she had actually thought he was dead for a full five seconds, until she saw that his arms twitched every so often.
Now that the mission was over, she had dedicated herself to staying near him until he woke up because -damnit!- this idiot was supposed to be her partner for the mission, he was supposed to stay behind with her rather than act like a moron and run up ahead and act like the solo hero that was just in it for the glory.
...Headstrong and stubborn is what he was, which was what he called her on occasion too. Funny how that worked.
Her attention snapped back into place when he started to dry cough, groaning at the pain in the process. She calmly reached over to hand him the glass of water she had placed there two hours ago.
His eyes flickered open, blearily staring out into nothingness for a long moment until she had to lay a gentle hand on his arm to get his attention.
As pale as he was, he managed to give her a weak smile before he moved so he could sit up in his cot.
"Hey," he rasped, a sure sign of his dehydration. Artemis offered the glass to him, directing the straw to his mouth -oh god there were cuts there too- and waited patiently as he sipped a few gulps.
"How long have I been out?"
"Four hours."
"Oh," he whispers and actually had the gall to look guilty. Damn straight he should be guilty!
"Sorry I -uh- ran out on you like that. This was not the outcome I had planned."
She remained silent, staring at him hard, which, in turn, made him squirm under the scrutiny.
"Look, Artemis, I'm fine," he lifted an arm and waved it for her, "See? Just a few days on bed rest and I'll be good as new, you know that."
Artemis narrowed her eyes, "I don't know whether I should smack you for your impulsiveness or k-" she cut herself off, suddenly remembering that she was talking to him instead of voicing out her inner monologue.
"Or what?" He asked softly, tilting his head to the side, making her worry her lip furiously.
"Nothing..."
It was awkwardly silent, which was a new thing, and something they weren't sure how to get around. Artemis, it seemed was having an inner conflict with herself. While Wally concluded he needed to get her mind out of worrying over him, even if she would never openly admit that she had been worrying over him.
"Hey, Arty."
She looked up from his white bedspread, "What?"
He tried his darndest to smirk and continued on with a, "I have an owie on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?"
It was really just a half-hearted suggestion, he knew she wouldn't act on it and instead call him out on it or find some way to make fun of him, like she always has. So it was scary when she didn't so much as huff or raise a brow at him, or say something demeaning.
He was afraid she may be too lost in her self-conflict to even respond to his corny pickup line.
After another bout of silence, she finally started moving, and he braced himself for what was to come, closing his eyes for some sort of light slap or something. But, instead, he felt warm lips touch his in a butterfly-like caress.