Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
My heartbeat drowned out all other sound. The world was moving in slow-motion. The bright, flashing lights…. The pulse of the music…. The swish of clothing on people around me…. Everything was present, but unnoticed. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes, and started walking.
I had never thought that I, of all people, would become a model. I was shy, and didn't really like attention. I hadn't anticipated this at all. But here I was, walking down a runway.
It all started two months ago.
We had been walking in the mall. We includes my friends Sora and Kairi (who are dating), my best friend Roxas, and myself. So anyway, we were walking down the mall. We had just gotten out of Forever 21, and Sora was holding Kairi's bags (there were about 5). Sora was mumbling under his breath to Roxas about how this bag-holding nonsense was so ridiculous, and that malls should provide shopping carts. Kairi was telling me about the latest drama at school, but I was listening only half-heartedly. Looking straight ahead and nodding every once in a while was sufficient with her. She would continue rambling even if she knew I probably wasn't paying any attention. Heading over to another store, I sipped on my soda from lunch in the food court.
"Hey, you go on in," I said to her, most likely interrupting her mid-sentence. "I'm going to finish my drink." She nodded and walked in without me. The boys were sitting down on a bench, Kairi's bags sprawled over the floor. They were talking and laughing, and I smiled. Enjoy what down time you have before Kairi comes back with more stuff.
I slurped down the last remnants of the coke, chucking it over in a trash can. I started to walk over to the store, but was stopped by a man holding some neon-pink flyers.
"Hello," he said. "I'm Paul. I'm with the mall, and I run a teen modeling program here." I nodded patiently. I hoped he wasn't going to launch into some long speech.
He held out a flyer. "We're holding tryouts on March 15th, from 1-3pm." He looked up at me and smiled. "I normally don't stop people in the mall, but you'd be a perfect fit for the program."
"Oh, thanks," I said, taking the flyer solely out of politeness. I wasn't very interested in what he was offering. As he walked away, I returned his ever-constant smile. When he was out of sight, I folded the flyer and put it into my purse. I entered the store and rejoined Kairi.
After a few more stores, we visited my favorite store, a local one. It was vintage-y, girly and adorable. Kairi and I squealed in delight at some things, and laughed at some of the things we disagreed on. I tried to explain to her that a little white dress is something that every girl needs in her wardrobe. It's a basic, an investment piece! She seemed to think otherwise.
When we got to the cash register, I dug through my purse to find my wallet. "God, I hate oversized bags," I muttered to myself. In the process of finding my wallet, the forgotten hot pink flyer fell onto the floor.
"I got it," Kairi said, picking the flyer from the floor as I paid. She read it with interest as the lady behind the counter handed me my bag, and we walked out.
"Ha! Your turn to hold some bags!" Sora laughed when he saw my purchase. Roxas just rolled his eyes. He offered to carry my bag, but I refused. Meanwhile, Kairi had shown Sora the pink piece of paper.
"Namine? Modeling?" Sora asked surprisedly. "I never thought I'd use THOSE two words in the same sentence!"
"Shut up, Sora!" Kairi elbowed her boyfriend." I think Namine would make a great model!"
"What?" Roxas looked at me, not believing his ears.
"Some guy came up to me and said I should be on their teen modeling program or something. I don't think I'm going to."
"Why not?" Kairi squealed. "Being a model would be so fun!"
"Why don't you do it then?" I combated.
"Lacrosse conflicts with it," She said, pointing to the paper. "It says on here practices are Mondays and Thursdays every week. I have lacrosse three times a week. And, I have a tournament the weekend of the runway show. It'd be too much to drive to."
Roxas pulled the paper from her hands. After a minute of reading it, he looked up at me. "You should try it," he said, smiling at me.
"You really think I'd be any good at it?" I asked skeptically.
"I don't know. You're pretty enough," he said. I blushed a little, but laughed it off. "Thanks," I said, "But I've never walked on a runway before."
"You could always look it up on the Internet on something. Plus, modeling is pretty much a natural thing. You'll know if it's not right. Runway walking is almost the same as how you're walking right now, just a few minor changes. There has to be a reason that guy thought you'd be good for it."
"Someone has been watching too many Top Model marathons," Sora quipped. Roxas rolled his eyes and we all laughed.
So a week later, I was sitting in one of the mall's offices, waiting to be interviewed.
Calm down. I told myself. Why are you so nervous? There's nothing to worry about. I wrung my hands and was called into the interview by a familiar face. The flyer guy, Paul.
"Well hello, you decided to come, great!" He smiled, leading me into a room where we had a fairly normal interview. Why would you like to do this, what stores do you like most, what other extracurricular activities do you participate in, etc.
In a few days, I checked the mall's webpage for the results. Scrolling down the list, I saw that there were 25 girls (and one really obviously gay guy) in the program this year. Halfway down the list, I saw my name and squealed. I immeadiately dialed Kairi's number and told her the good news.
"I made it!" I said as soon as she picked up.
"That's great!" She said. A long, girly conversation ensued.
At the first meeting, Paul had us select groups and choose stores to model for. Each group of 5 got two stores. I ended up with a department store and one of the stores Kairi had taken me into on our shopping day. At the next meeting, each group picked music and we had walking tips from Paul. After that, the rest of our meetings comprised of each group choreographing a short dance at the beginning of every walk.
As the show grew closer, I became more excited. I sent out an email to a bunch of my friends telling them the vital information. I was actually really confident in the dance. Paul had come over a few times to observe us practicing during meetings, and he was really impressed with my walk. Did I naturally walk like a model? People have told me I swing my hips when I walk, but I'd never practiced the "crosswalk" before. Luckily for me, putting one foot directly in front of the other felt very natural. Others weren't as fortunate and had to work harder to walk up to par.
On the day of the show, I dressed in a basic white cami and pair of denim shorts. I wore a pair of Soffes underneath the shorts, knowing that there wouldn't be much time backstage for changing rooms.
As I waited for my group's turn to walk on the runway, I peered into the audience. I saw Sora and Kairi sitting off to stage right. Roxas was sitting next to them, and his friend Axel had come too. I recognized people from my school, but there were other girls from my classes in the program, so they probably weren't here for me.
My heartbeat sounded in my ears. I must not trip. I must not mess up in front of Roxas. I sighed. Just calm down and let the music carry you. I took a deep breath as I stepped up to the runway. The group before us walked off and wished us good luck as their song ended. I heard the new song come on, my cue to go onstage. I didn't look at Roxas as my group got into a V-formation at the base of the runway. I watched the girl in front of me for the first dance step, but I quickly remembered and started doing the dance. Just like you practiced. Nothing is different but a couple more people. Our routine ended and we started walking. When my turn came, I walked around from the tip of the V and started my trip down the catwalk. I utilized all the tips that Paul gave me- head up, look straight forward, one foot in front of the other, arms swinging gently. I smiled a little bit as I synced with the music. The walking was as easy as breathing. I couldn't believe I had ever been nervous. I was filled with the natural high of the walk. When I reached the end of the runway, I turned around and spun a full 360 degrees on my walk back, earning generous applause from the audience.
As I ran offstage at the end of our walk, clothes were flying. I grabbed the next outfit, my favorite. I knew I was going to have to buy the clothes from the store now. They flattered me and looked so adorable! My dress was black, and it was strapless. It had a thick belt across my waist, and the skirt was several tiers of ruffles that ended up about miniskirt-length. I let my hair down from the bun it had been in and it hung out to a bit shorter than its full length (I curled it, and my hair is normally straight). I quickly put on the jeweled headband and intensified my smokey eyes with some more eyeshadow before heading back out into the lineup, nearly forgetting my black clutch.
The adrenaline pounded through my veins as I walked back onstage. This time, I swung my hips more, lifted my knees a little higher. I felt awesome as I moved. After I resumed position and everyone lined up to do the final walk, I allowed myself a look at Roxas. He was grinning ear to ear, looking straight at me, and clapping along with the rest of the audience. I could swear that I heard a whistle from his general area. When I got to the front of the runway and turned, I winked at the audience before making my way to the back and walking offstage.
When the show was over, everyone joined in a big group hug. I was laughing with all my new friends. "See you guys for the back to school show!" I called and waved after I had said my goodbyes and changed. I really just wanted to get out and see Roxas again.
When I came up to everyone, I got hugs from all my friends. "Thanks for coming, guys!" I smiled.
"Did you have fun?" Kairi asked me.
"Yeah, loads!" I laughed. "You'd love it, Kairi!" She smiled and patted me on the back and we struck up a conversation. After a bit, we all said bye to Axel, and we walked around a little before Sora and Kairi had to go. As Roxas and I walked out to the parking lot, I made my way over to my car. With my handle on the door, I spun around, smiling at Roxas again.
"Hey, thanks for coming. Hope you had some semblance of fun," I joked.
"No, no! It was pure torture," he said sarcastically. "Watching 24 pretty girls and one guy model. That was horrible!"
"Wait…" I said. "There were 25 girls and one guy…" I rechecked my math mentally. "Yeah! What are you trying to say?" I asked suspiciously.
"You didn't look pretty. You looked beautiful," He said simply, smiling slightly.
"Oh…. Um, thanks," I murmured, laughing a bit. I blushed. It sounds stupid, but what would you do if the guy you liked told you that you were beautiful?
"Well, it's only true," he said. He turned away from me and said, "Hold on a sec," as he ran to his car a few spaces down. When he returned, he held a bouquet of flowers, consisting of white roses and purple-tipped carnations.
"Oh, god. You shouldn't have!" I felt like crying. "Purple is my favorite color! They're beautiful!" I sighed, looking up at him. "Jeez, that's so romantic!" I cocked an eyebrow. "No particular reason?"
He shrugged. "I thought it would be appropriate," he said sweetly. "Am I allowed to give you flowers?"
"Of course!" I said, laughing.
Time froze.
Do it. You might not have another opportunity to in a very long while. You have to live your life to its fullest. That would include having a boyfriend. You ARE almost seventeen, after all.
I stared at his smile for a few seconds. "I actually wanted to give you something, too. A token of gratitude for you coming to watch me." I took a quick breath, leaned in, and gave him a swift peck on the cheek.
"I have to go," I mumbled quickly, super-embarassed. Oh my god. Shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have done thaaaat…..
I opened the car door and was halfway in before he had time to react. He grabbed my arm, and I turned around, unsure of what his response would be.
He pulled me up, swiftly, easily. He half-spun me so that I was inches from his face. I was blushing furiously. "Roxas," I murmured. He didn't answer, but instead leaned in and touched his lips to mine. My heart hammered and my eyes widened. His kiss was soft, gentle. It was over before I could tell what had happened.
"Um…" I whispered as he let me go. "I should… probably… go…." I quickly got into my car and sped away before he had a chance to say anything.
Sitting in my room later that day, I turned the events of the day over in my mind (okay, I'll face it, there was only one I really cared about). I wished I hadn't driven away. It probably gave him the wrong idea. Oh my god, I was confused and felt so stupid. Why hadn't humanity created a time machine yet? That would be helpful right now.
Ring. Ring, ring.
The door. I had half a mind that wished it was someone else at the entrance. I peered at the window just to be sure, but I couldn't see who was standing outside. Stupid architect.
I ran down the stairs as the doorbell rang again. "Coming, coming!" I shouted. Before I opened the door, I looked out the peephole. The view confirmed my suspicions.
"Nobody's home?" I half-stated, half-asked.
"Come on, Nam. I know you're there, let me in."
Crap. Foiled again.
I reluctantly opened the door, my heart fluttering at the memory of earlier today. It was dark now. His car was there. As I opened the door, I looked down at my feet.
"Um, hey," I said quietly.
"Hey," he said equally in volume. I hadn't expected that. He wasn't one to get angry quickly, but the gentleness in his voice shocked me. I thought he'd at least have been annoyed with my "surprise attack".
"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. That was kind of fast, and I just got carried away…"
"You're sorry?" I asked, looking up, surprised. "Oh. I thought I'd be the one doing the apologizing."
"Well, I was the one that kissed you…" he said, obviously confused. "It seemed like common sense. To me, at least."
"Okay, well I'm sorry on my part. Speeding off in the car didn't help much," I sighed. "I was just….overwhelmed. I hadn't expected you to react the way you did."
"Oh…" he said. There was a short silence.
"I'm not sorry about the kiss." I said, looking up at him. " I…really liked the kiss, in fact." I tried to stay calm.
"Yeah… me too," he said.
"I just don't think it was really the most opportune time, so…. want to try again? Fresh start?" I asked half-heartedly, joking.
He didn't see it that way. He started leaning in. This time, I moved too. Within seconds, we were kissing again. My heart started pumping adrenaline through my veins, but he was soft. Too gentle.
"My turn," I said when we broke apart, leading him into the house and closing the door. I stood on my tiptoes a bit to reach him, putting a hand against his cheek. When our lips met this time, I poured more passion into it, but still held back. It was short. I leaned away, afraid I had offended him. I averted my eyes, but he put his hand on my cheek. He smiled and said, "You're good," as we came closer again. This time, the kiss was more delayed, as if he was deciding something. The wait was worth it. After what seemed like minutes, his lips pressed against mine. This time he wasn't as gentle. He put more into it; the kiss was more intense. "That's more like it," I murmured. "Let go. Let go of the control…" I whispered. He obeyed. I was in command. I liked that. I smiled going into the next kiss, his eyes widening a little bit at my intensity. We pulled away, gasping for air. It is necessary to breathe, after all. Every once in a while.
We sat down where we were. He rested his head on mine.
"I…I've waited for this day for so long," I said, hugging him. "I think…I think I love you."
There was a small silence from him. His face turned towards me, smiling. He kissed the top of my head, holding my hand. "I think… I love you too."
"That's all I need," I murmured, resting my head against his chest. I smiled, drifting near sleep. Can you guess who I dreamt about that night?
All this brought on by modeling. Who would have thought a single, hot pink flyer would ever change my life?