Fandom: Outlast
Characters: Miles Upshur
Word Count: 489
Warnings: Panic attack, disassociation, annoying repetition
Summary: There is tv snow and then there is nothing.
Notes: oh hey, look at this mess i found. neat.
A story in which nothing is said
There is silence. There is noise.
Silence. Noise.
Noise. Silence.
It switches on. It switches off.
On. Off.
Your mind is blank static
There is nothing but tv snow
There is tv snow and then there is nothing.
Your mind is static interference
Interference
The door is closed. You open it.
The door is open. You close it.
You want to tear the door off its hinges
Your stomach squirms. Something in your stomach squirms. You want to be sick. You are sick. You want to be sick. You become sick
Sick
Sick
You are never sick
You are always sick
Your fingers ache, your fingers are numb. They are cold, stiff. They are hot, curled. Your fingers are numb, your fingers ache.
Your fists are clenched.
You open your mouth. You close your mouth. You have something to say. You can't remember how to talk. You want to talk. You never want to speak.
Silence is distracting. Noise is distracting.
You want to hear music. You wish you were deaf.
Noise. Silence.
Speak. Sick.
Open. Closed.
"Hell is," you start. Then you stop.
"Hell is," you start. you stop
hell is
you
start
hell is
you
stop
Repeat after me.
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat after you
You can't breathe.
You can't breathe.
You can't breathe
you can't hear
you can't
hear
you can't talk
you can't
t a l k
Your leg bounces up.
Your leg bounces down.
Shake, tremble, jitter
tremble, jitter, shake
anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious
anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious
anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious
anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious
anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious
anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious
a
n anxious
x
i anxious
o anxious
u
s
anxious
anxious
anxious anxious
a
n
x
i
o
u
s
You do not like the taste of medicine. You think you shouldnt swallow the pills they give you.
It's in your brain,
they tell you
It's not in your brain.
They tell you,
It's in your brain
(tell us your problems)
you do not have any
(i dont have many problems)
you have too many to name
Something meaningful
something without meaning
negative spaces
positive
The bad influences in your life
the good
do you have any
do you
Yes. No.
You have to write.
You cannot write
You hate to write
You can write
the pen flows
The pen is empty
(touch you remember touch)
(touch you dont know touch)
You dole out time
You hoard time
you have plenty of time
you have no time
the clock ticks the clock ticks the clock ticks
you can't read the numbers
(talk to us)
i cant
(trust us)
i wont
your pen taps the paper
your pen taps the paper
your pen taps the paper
you have no words