"How's it going with Lindsay?" Mac asked as he and Danny sat at Sullivan's having a beer after shift.
"Better." Danny said looking up at his boss a little worried since the older man had insisted that they meet for a beer after shift. "I really fucked up." He admitted rubbing his face. "Bad."
"I gathered." Mac said nodding. "She's a great woman." He said and Danny looked up blue eyes shining and nodded.
"I guess I got caught up in my guilt." He said staring at his beer. "She's taking some of the blame but it wasn't her fault." He said softly. "I should have gone to her when I was upset but I felt like she thought Ruben dying was my fault." He explained sighing. "We didn't talk, if we would have talked none of dis would have happened and I wouldn't have lost her."
"Have you lost her?" Mac asked knowing that the last few months both he and Lindsay had been really quiet.
"I dunno." He admitted closing his eyes. "I slept wit Rikki." He said not looking up at Mac for fear he'd see shame in his bosses eyes. "Pushed er away and I came clean, I mean I told her." He said swallowing hard. "I still have no idea why I did it." He said looking up for a second glad Mac was looking in his beer. "I mean I love Lindsay, she's my life why in the hell did I fuck things up like dis?"
"I cheated on my wife." Mac admitted shame in his eyes. "Just a kiss but it nearly killed me. She was crushed, said that if I had something I felt bad about I should have come to her. She was right and it's not a good excuse but I felt like my job made her dirty." He said sighing. "Maybe you felt comfortable with Rikki because you didn't care what she thought but if Lindsay knew how you were feeling she might change her mind about you?" He asked and Danny swallowed hard hating that Mac had him pegged. "That if she saw you at your lowest she'd try to help you. I know you Danny you've always been the caretaker, never comfortable when anyone tries to do anything for you."
"I know." He admitted closing his eyes. "I don't feel comfortable wit her like comforting me, she, Rikki needed someone and I know it don't make it right but I wanted to be there for her."
"You didn't do anything wrong Dan, Ruben dying wasn't your fault." Mac said firmly and Danny nodded knowing in his head Mac was right. "Have you and Lindsay talked?"
"Yeah." He said nodding. "She says she still loves me. She basically told me what ya just said and ya both right." He admitted. "I don't think she'll be able to forgive me, she said she'll try but she needs time."
"Women don't get the just sex thing." Mac said softly. "I do, I mean it's still fucked up but I get how you can close your eyes and forget." He admitted thinking of the women he'd had sex with after Claire. "Thing is though once it's over you're right back to thinking."
"Yeah, I thought it would help but it just fucked everything up." Danny said fighting tears. "Now I may lose da best thing in my life."
"You have to open yourself to her Dan, I'm not a sensitive guy but if this is ever going to work you have to share yourself." He said softly. "Dammit." He said as his cell phone rang in his pocket. "Taylor." He said frowning as he listened jaw dropping. "I'm on my way." He said flipping the phone closed and jumping up. "Come on." He said stomach churning with fear as he threw money down on the table.
"Whas wrong?" Danny asked frowning as he jumped up grabbing his jacket and following Mac out. "Mac?" He asked shocked as Mac started running in the rain instead of going to his car a block in the other direction.
"It's Lindsay come on." Mac yelled rain dripping in his face as he ran. They got about 3 blocks from the lab before they saw the ambulance and Danny fought the urge to vomit as he sprinted.
"What, Lindsay?" He screamed racing over the pouring rain making it hard to see clearly.
"Danny." Mac yelled waving the man over as he climbed up into the ambulance.
"What?" Danny asked breathing hard as he jumped into the ambulance finding Lindsay sitting on the cot her hair wet and blood on her face and hair.
"I'm fine." She insisted blinking against the pain in her arm and head. "It was the taxi cab killer." She said shifting as the paramedic took her blood pressure in her unhurt arm. "He picked me up at the lab, I knew something was off and I tried to get out and then I smelled the carbon dioxide." She said wincing as she tried to move her broken arm. "I started to scream and kick the partition." She said frowning as the medic pressed a gauze pad against the cut on her head. "I used my ow stop." She said glaring up at him. "I broke the window out and he sped up so I climbed out."
"Holy shit." Danny whispered heart still racing.
"Did you get a look at him?" Mac asked and she shook her head no.
"It was dark and I know he had dark hair." She said feeling terrible. "I wasn't paying attention when I opened the door and once the light was off you couldn't see anything." She said shaking her head. "He had a green flower air freshener hanging off the mirror. "I dug my nails into the seat and I grabbed some carpet but that's all I could get." She said feeling terrible.
"Don't worry about it." Mac said softly. "Where are you hurt?"
"I'm fine." She said closing her eyes. "The carpet fibers are in my pocket." She said taking a deep breath her arm throbbing. "You need to process me."
"What happened?" Don Flack said running to the ambulance shocked to see Lindsay laying in the back. Mac filled him in and Don quickly took off.
"Danny take Lindsay's clothes and bag them." Mac said mind racing. "Swab her finger nails and go with her to the hospital."
"Mac I am not going by ambulance." She insisted as he looked up frowning.
"Fine, but you will go." He said and she nodded knowing she had to have something done with her arm.
"Do you have something I can wear?" She asked the paramedic not looking at Danny. Things were still awkward with them even though she promised to try to give him another chance. The young guy handed her a thin gown and stepped to the side to help her. "I can do it." She said not wanting to take her clothes off in front of him.
"Ok." He said hopping out and closing the doors leaving her along with Danny.
"Want me to leave?" Danny asked softly his heart still racing.
"I don't think I can do it by myself." She admitted wincing as she moved to unbutton her shirt.
"Lemme scrape ya nails." He said grabbing the kit Mac had tossed in the back and gently picking up her shaking hands. "Ya sure ya ok?" He asked swallowing hard as he quickly scraped.
"My arm hurts." She admitted wincing as he lifted her hand.
"Sorry." He whispered fighting tears as he packed up the scrapings. He stood up and gently moved her hands aside as she struggled to move her painful arm to unbutton her shirt. "Lemme." He whispered and she nodded closing her eyes as he cold fingers worked the wet shirt off of her small frame. "Dis might hurt." He warned as he moved to take the shirt off of her bad arm. "God baby." He groaned seeing the misshapen arm as he did all he could not to hurt her.
"Just do it." She said taking a deep breath as he pulled the material off. "Oh god." She gasped losing all color as the pain threatened to make her pass out. "Just gimme, a sec." She gasped taking a deep breath feeling his hands on her back. "Sorry." She whispered letting herself relax as she rested her face against his belly.
"Don't be." He whispered blinking back tears as she rested against him. She sat there for a few seconds before lifting her head and nodding and he grabbed the thin gown and gently slid it up her slim arms. She'd lost weight, a lot of weight since the last time he'd seen her naked and guilt slammed into him as he remembered why she'd been stressed out. "Do ya legs hurt?" He asked as he squatted down to pull off her scuffed up black heels.
"No." She said wincing as she shifted. "Really it's just my arm, I landed on it." She said and he nodded looking up at her ready to take her wet jeans off. "This is a little different than the last time you took my clothes off." She said forcing a smile as she stood up and he gently flipped the button of her jeans open.
"Yeah little bit." He said softly carefully tugging the wet denim down her slim hips. "Just a sec." He said opening the door and waving the paramedic back in. "Ya got something that will keep her arm steady?"
"Sling." The man said and Danny nodded wincing as he watched the man quickly put the sling on seeing pain in her dark brown eyes. "Every move is going to hurt." The man warned and Lindsay nodded glancing out at the pouring rain.
"Lemme take dis to Mac." Danny said and she nodded shivering as the cool night air blew into the back of the ambulance.