Disclaimer: As always, I no own, you no sue.
I've decided to take a break from my other Hellsing fic to post this little side story. It's just a short lil one shot type of thing. Parts of it were actually inspired by a dream that I had a few nights ago. Apparently I woke up my parents because I was laughing in my sleep. Now they really think I'm crazy 0.o Anyways, on to the story!
Kindergarten-Hellsing Style
It all began as a typical day in the little kindergarten lives of our favorite Hellsing and Iscariot organization members. They all left their homes and walked the five or so minutes to the nearby preschool down the street. Integra, Alucard, Seras, Walter, and Pip all met on the playground by the swings, while Enrico, Anderson, Yumiko, Heinkel and Renaldo met in the sandbox.
Integra, as usual, was yelling at Alucard, who seemed not to care as he grinned widely at his Master, while Pip and Seras were arguing loudly about an apparently obscene song Pip had been singing in Seras' general direction earlier. Walter, meanwhile, simply watched Seras and Pip's argument with a bemused expression on his face, occasionally glancing over to the sandbox and keeping an eye on the movements of the Iscariots.
Over in the sandbox, Enrico was busy happily building a sloppy sand castle (that was looking more and more like nothing but a giant mound of wet sand), while Renaldo stood calmly behind him, observing the antics of the other Iscariots and keeping an eye on the Hellsing members on the swings. Anderson was throwing the shovels at anyone who happened to come into his range, which was currently Yumiko and Heinkel, who were trying to get the shovels away from the crazed young priest.
When the school bell finally rang, all the children ran for the doors of the tiny school building. Integra and her group reached the door first, as the playground was closer to the doors then the sandbox was. Enrico and his group reached the doors right on the heels of the Hellsing group.
"Hey! Where do you think your going?" Enrico questioned angrily, shoving his way towards Integra, who was standing in the doorway. Anderson followed quickly after Enrico, shovels in hand and an insane grin plastered on his face.
Integra stopped in the doorway and turned to face Enrico, Alucard stepping up behind her with his black slingshot and aiming it at Anderson with a wicked grin on his face. Anderson waved his shovels in wide circles in an attempt to look threatening, while the rest of the Iscariots sweat-dropped behind him.
"We were here first, so we get to go inside first." Enrico stated childishly, crossing his arms over his chest as he pouted. "So get out of our way, or I'll sick Anderson on you." He pointed behind him to Anderson, who was waving his shovels in wild circles in an attempt to look threatening, as Yumiko, Heinkel and Renaldo sweat-dropped behind him.
Integra rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Don't you think your being a little childish, Maxwell? You know very well that we were here first. So go back to the end of the line, Catholic." Integra snapped, turning back around and striding purposefully through the door, dragging Alucard by the collar of his coat as he tried desperately to shoot Anderson with the slingshot. Pip pushed Seras through the door after them as Walter brought up the rear, smiling cheerfully and nodding at Enrico as he passed.
Enrico, meanwhile, stood stunned and as he watched Integra stride past him. Renaldo was trying to hold back Anderson, who managed to throw a shovel at a retreating Walter's back. Unfortunately, with Renaldo's interference, his aim was thrown off, and he instead whacked Enrico in the back of the head.
"Oops!" Anderson quickly ran behind Renaldo, using him as a shield in case Enrico decided to attack him.
Heinkel and Yumiko ran up beside Enrico, who was sniffing dejectedly with his lower lip quivering as he watched Integra disappear inside the school, apparently unaware of the shovel that had hit him.
"Vat's da matter, chief?" a curious Heinkel inquired, watching the other students enter the school. "Don't vorry chief, ve'll get dem back, ja?"
"Yeah, don't cry chief." Yumiko offered shyly from Enrico's other side. "I'm sure they didn't really mean it…"
At that moment, the final school bell rang. Enrico hurriedly wiped his nose on his sleeve before the five Iscariots quickly scrambled into their room and attempted to sneak in as the teachers back was turned.
They were succeeding wonderfully until a small, jet black rock shot past Anderson's left shoulder and hit the teacher square in the back, causing her to turn around angrily. Seeing the five young Iscariots standing in the middle of the room, paralyzed with fear, she pointed an accusatory finger at them.
"I have had enough of your games, children! All five of you are staying after to clean chalkboards tonight! Understand?" the teacher threatened angrily, finger shaking in rage.
"Yes ma'am." all five Iscariots echoed, hanging their heads and taking quickly to their seats.
Alucard sniggered from the other side of the room as they took their seats. Integra, sitting calmly beside Alucard, whacked him in the back of the head to shut him up.
"Now class," the teacher said enthusiastically, "Who wants to go out and see how our flowers are growing? They should be blooming by now."
Immediately every hand in the room shot up, and cries of "Oh oh! Yes!" and "Me, me!" could be heard from every corner of the room.
"Alright then class, line up at the door and we'll walk out to the back park." The teacher said, standing in the doorway and waiting for the students to line up.
Enrico dashed for the door, eager to be the first student in line. This time, he succeeded in beating Integra and being the first in line. He stuck his tongue out at her in a childish display of victory. Integra just rolled her eyes and huffed, walking back to the end of the line with the rest of the Hellsing group.
Heinkel, Yumiko, Anderson and Renaldo cut into the line behind Enrico, who was happy once again at his triumph over Integra. As he turned around to face the teacher, another rock flew from the back of the line towards Enrico.
Anderson, however, was prepared this time and whacked the rock away with one of his shovels. Running out of the line, he charged at the pint-sized vampire who was grinning maliciously as he raised his slingshot once more, this time aimed at the mini-priest's head.
Anderson, shovels raised, was charging at Alucard at full speed when he was jerked to a sudden halt. Renaldo had grabbed the back of his coat and calmly stopped the mad priests charge.
Alucard, meanwhile, had his slingshot taken away quickly by Walter, who was standing next to him. He gave Walter a pouty look before huffing and striding back towards the end of the line.
Walter and Renaldo looked at each other briefly and gave a slight smile, each nodding at the other at another battle successfully avoided.
The teacher opened the door and led the children outside to the back of the school, where a small bench had been set up with several plastic cups placed on it. Each cup bore the name of a student, and had a tiny flower blooming inside it.
"Alright now, children. Everyone go and find your flower and bring it back inside the room."
The children quickly scattered, surrounding the bench and searching for their flower. Integra quickly found her cup as well as Alucards, both with a tiny red flower blooming inside. Pip, Seras and Walter quickly found theirs, as well. They all had red flowers in theirs, too.
Over on the Iscariot side, Enrico had Renaldo find his cup for him. Renaldo returned with both his cup and Enrico's, both of which had tiny white flowers inside. Anderson gave Yumiko and Heinkel their cups, both with white flowers as well, then returned to the bench to get his own.
Spotting his cup down on the other end of the bench, he eagerly hurried to see how his own flower had done.
Upon reaching the cup, however, he noticed that something was different about his flower. Picking up his cup and looking closer, he noticed that his flower was red. Puzzled by this, he started walking back to the rest of the Iscariots, flower in hand.
Alucard, who happened to be walking by, looked over Anderson's shoulder and noticed his flower. Grinning evilly, he quickly grabbed Anderson and dragged him back to the Hellsing group.
Anderson, who was taken by surprise, suddenly found himself facing the Hellsing's, Alucard behind him. Integra, who was standing at the head of the group, turned to Anderson, fixing him with a disinterested stare before crossing her arms and glaring at Alucard.
"What are you up to now, Alucard?" Integra questioned fiercely.
Alucard was grinning like a Cheshire cat and pointed proudly at Anderson's cup, which he still held in his hand. "Look at his flower, Master."
Integra stepped forward and peered at Anderson's tiny red flower. Her eyes opened wide as she realized what Alucard meant, and also at the chance she had to annoy Enrico.
"You have a red flower." Integra stated simply, "Therefore, you're a Hellsing from now on." She nodded her head and turned back to the rest of the Hellsings, who were all standing in shock at this announcement. Integra eyed them all coolly, making it known that they were all to play along.
Anderson, however, stood with his jaw agape at this pronouncement. Alucard sniggered again from behind him and gave him a hard pat on the back, knocking him forward towards the group.
"So guess you're a Protestant now, huh?" Alucard sniggered before dragging a still-stunned Anderson to the rest of the Hellsing group.
Alucard took up a position next to Integra, holding Anderson by the back of his coat to keep him from running.
Seras moved a step back when Alucard stepped between herself and Integra, hands half raised in defense as Anderson was dragged next to her.
Alucard, noticing Seras' fear, waggled the priest in front of her, causing her to scream and step back farther. Alucard grinned wickedly, enjoying his little game, when Integra whacked him in the back of the head again.
"Stop that, stupid." Integra muttered in annoyance.
Meanwhile, back at the Iscariot group-
Enrico was sitting on the ground, his cup in his lap as he was poking at his flower. Renaldo stood behind Enrico, watching curiously and giving Enrico a look that said he doubted his leaders sanity.
Heinkel and Yumiko were sitting together next to Enrico. Heinkel simply held her cup in her lap, watching the other students as they all stared in wonder at their flowers. Yumiko, however, held a cup with nothing left but a tiny green stem sticking out of the dirt. Her glasses had slipped off earlier and Yumie had emerged. Heinkel had managed to get her glasses back on, but not before Yumie had bitten the flower off its stem.
Enrico suddenly stopped his flower-poking, and looked up in annoyance. "Where did Anderson go? Can't he read his own name?"
Heinkel and Yumiko quickly scanned the area, looking for the wandering priest.
"Uh oh, chief, it looks like he's over there with the Hellsings. It looks like they took him prisoner." Yumiko offered, pointing in the direction of their enemies.
"WHAT?!" Enrico shouted angrily, storming over to Integra and the other Hellsings, leaving his flower forgotten on the ground behind. Heinkel, Yumiko and Renaldo quickly followed after him.
"What do you think your doing? Let Anderson go right now!" Enrico stamped his foot angrily, crossing his arms and huffing at Integra.
Integra stood calmly, enjoying every second that Enrico shouted and huffed as he threw his little fit. When he finally began to settle down, she merely pointed at Andersons cup, which held the red flower.
"His flower is red. Therefore, he's a Hellsing now, whether he knows it or not." Integra grinned smugly at Enrico, who was turning bright red with anger.
"He is NOT! He's an Iscariot! Give him baaaaack!" Enrico shouted, making a mad lunge at Anderson and grabbing his arm, yanking hard to pull him free.
Alucard merely held on to Anderson's other arm, not even showing any effort of pulling back as Enrico struggled to free his friend.
Anderson, meanwhile, was coming out of his shock and realized that he wasn't a Hellsing, and so began pulling against Alucard as well.
Integra grabbed Enrico around the waist and pulled him off of Anderson, taking them both to the ground where they began to scuffle and fight.
Anderson, now free, pulled out his shovels and began throwing them at Alucard, who took out his black slingshot and began to return fire.
Heinkel and Pip ran towards each other in an attempt to tackle the other, but instead ended up colliding and knocking each other out.
Yumiko sighed and took off her glasses, and immediately Yumie appeared, stick in hand. She charged at Seras, swinging her stick madly. Seras got into a crouch and successfully tackled the berserker, taking them both to the ground as well.
Renaldo and Walter simply looked at each other and sighed. Renaldo went over to a dazed Heinkel and pulled her out of the fray, while Walter dragged Pip over to their side and out of danger.
The other students began to form a circle around the fight, cheering and applauding. The teacher, who had finally noticed the fight, quickly ran over and broke it up. She took the slingshot, stick, and shovels away from the three armed combatants, and dragged the whole lot of them down to the principals office.
On one side of the room sat a very cross-looking Enrico with a black eye. Next to him was Anderson (once more an Iscariot), who was squirming on the seat and trying to fix the wedgie Alucard had given him. Heinkel was next to him, with an ice pack on her head that Yumiko was holding on for her. Renaldo sat at the very end, eyes closed and head back.
Opposite them, sat a very happy looking Integra with a Band-Aid on her forehead. Alucard was next to her smiling smugly as he had gotten away without a scratch. (Well, he'd already healed it, at least.) Next sat Pip, also with an ice pack, and Seras was holding it on for him. Walter was sitting calmly on the end, looking at the pretty paintings hung around the room.
Yep, it was just another typical day in the kindergarten lives of our favorite Hellsing/Iscariot members. Tomorrow, they would get up and do it all over again.