Destiny
By
Isabella Douglas
Chapter one
How it came to be
Disclaimer – Some of the characters belong to me, other don't. I'm sure you can guess which ones do and which ones don't
Author Note – This is the rewrite of my previous story 'Destiny waits for no man' this is the version I should have put up all along!
A note on Dean's intelligent. I've never believed that he was stupid in any fashion, I mean the dude built an EMF detector from a walkman for goodness sake. I certainly couldn't do that and I doubt most people could so what I've written here is why I think he hides it. As for the HDN I kinda thought it would be cool to have Dean help with that, I mean there has to be something like that out there surely. Dean's missing years when Sam was at Stanford has always intrigued me!
Anyhoo please enjoy. Chapter two is in the process of being rewritten.
Dean Winchester had never planned for his life to end up the way it had but he guessed that was the way life was for most people.
If anyone had actually taken the time to ask him when he was younger where he saw himself in ten years time he would have laughed in their faces, spouting out some bullshit before changing the subject. What could he tell them? That he would remain a Hunter, taking down as many evil sons of bitches as he could, saving as many people as possible until that one day where he wouldn't be quick enough and he would be killed?
When Dean looked at the future he never saw himself reaching the age of forty. He merely saw a man slowly ripped apart by his life and he had simply accepted that it was his destiny. He accepted it the same way that he accepted his life actually sucked, that he was useless in the large scale of things, that he actually wasn't that great a human being regardless of what others seemed to believe and that raising his younger brother Sam had been the only meaningful thing that he had managed to accomplish.
Dean should have died in the Apocalypse, that was what he had been expecting and he had been strangely ok with the fact when he had actually thought about it. He would go out with a bang, taking out the biggest bastard of them all and hopefully earning himself a place in Heaven. It wasn't so much the thought of Heaven which had attracted him, hell he had been there and done that on more then one occasion if Ash was to be believed. What attracted him was the thought of finally laying his arms down, he could stop fighting safe in the knowledge that Dean Winchester had done everything humanly possible to help people and now his fight was someone's else's. He would finally be at peace and able to relax with the friends and family he had lost before.
That was what should have happened only it hadn't. The plan of dying in the biggest battle had never come to past. Things had instead turned messy and confusing and everything had changed.
Dean along with it.
He would have liked to have been able to tell anyone who asked that the change in him had been brewing for sometimes. That there was only so much a man the age of thirty could get away with before he realised he had to grow up and become the type of man who people were always telling him he was. If Sam had been telling the story he would have used some weird metaphor such as Dean had been a Caterpillar who had finally gotten his wings. Only it hadn't been Sam telling the story and it hadn't been slow and steady. Instead the change in him had been swift and brutal leaving Dean reeling in the dark, alone with a hole in his chest where he was sure his heart once had been and a growing numbness that spread through him until he was consumed by it.
The change had taken exactly one minute, Dean knew because Dean had timed it.
Sam was gone. The little brother who he had raised since the age of six months when he had been only four him self was gone far beyond Dean's reach and beyond his ability to help. No one would be able to help Sam where he had gone. Sam would never again see the sun, or feel the breeze against his face. He would never be able to experience the change in seasons which he had loved. He would never be able to read those fantasy novels he worshipped and had tried to keep hidden from Dean because he had been sure that Dean would mock him over them. He would never again experience love or happiness or laughter because they simply didn't exist in hell. Something Dean knew from first hand experience. Sam would want to die but there would be no release for him.
Dean had tried to help him, God had he tried everything.
There had always been a general belief about him that Dean was a pretty boy with an ability to fight that few could surpass but with a brain that was used only for coming up with crude jokes. This wasn't the case but it was something Dean had cultivated for his brother. Sam had been so insecure as a child that he had clung to the idea that he was the smart one. Dean had loved his brother so he had hidden his own intelligence always pointing out to their Dad how smart Sam was. Dean was never sure whether John Winchester believed him, the disbelieving, thoughtful looks when Dean would pass him a report card filled with A's had indicated that Dean had lied about his intelligence but his old man had never disagreed with him. He would merely sign Dean's card and pass it back telling Dean he had to do better before taking Sam's and going on about how smart the youngest was. If his words made Dean's stomach twist with jealousy and annoyance then Dean was able to ignore it. This was for Sam after all and there was nothing Dean wouldn't do for his brother.
The minute Sam had told Dean his plan about becoming Lucifer's vessel in the hope that he could wrestle control from the Devil and send him back to the cage had been the minute Dean had began researching.
He had gone through every book in Bobby's house scanning every single page for anything about Lucifer and his cage. He had never been more thankful at that moment that he had a natural talent when it came to languages both speaking and reading them though it was a talent which no one knew about. Saying that though Dean had been pretty sure Bobby had suspected he could do it, certainly when they were researching other subject Bobby would always pass Dean the non English books with a gruff command to get on with it without any moaning.
When Bobby's books had turned out to be a waste Dean had jumped in the impala, made an excuse about getting some pie and headed straight to the large library a few towns over, spending all day there looking at the books or hitting the internet, his notebook filling quickly up with his surprisingly neat handwriting.
It hadn't been enough so Dean had logged into the Hunter defence network or the HDN as it was known. Sam had nearly had an orgasm when he had first found it during some random research. He had gushed about it for most of the day never knowing that one of the creators sat next to him driving, trying hard to keep the smug look off his face.
Dean had been the one to come up with the idea when he was sharing a beer with Addison Taylor and Trevor Stirling. Two young Hunters like himself who he had hooked up with to do a tricky job that had involved three Banshees. Sam had been at Stanford, happily surrounding himself with his pre law stuff while John had been somewhere else doing god knew what. They had spent a week in South Carolina building it, placing security on it that none could break through before uploaded all the information that a Hunter might need onto the World Wide Web. Addison and Trevor had cut down on Hunting to maintain it, relying on Dean to send them information which he did almost daily. A strong friendship had been built between the three of them and Dean liked to think of them as his closest friends aside from Sam, Bobby and later Castiel.
All the information he had gathered himself and had been supplied with from Addison and Trevor had all pointed to one conclusion. If Sam fell into that cage then there would be no way to bring him back from it.
Even after learning that Dean had still tried to help Sam. He couldn't give up not when Sam was the only thing he had left but all his efforts hadn't been enough, He had been beaten by Lucifer to a bloody pulp about to die by his hand when suddenly his brother was back. His brother was telling him it was going to be ok, that he had him, and that he was going to end it. Dean wanted to call out to him, to tell him all the things he could never bring himself to say in the past but words had been beyond him. He could only watch helpless, slumped against the side of the impala as Sam threw the horseman rings down and said the incantation to open the gate to the cage. Even when Michael had reappeared in their brother Adam's body Sam still hadn't panicked, using the cool head he had always possessed he had merely lunged forward grabbing Adam and pulling them both into the cage.
Dean had been forced to watch helpless as he lost not only the brother he raised but the brother he didn't even get the chance to know. He had sucked in a sharp breath ignoring the pain the action caused and realised with a sharp sense of clarity that the old Dean Winchester was no more.
Castiel had reappeared by his side, brought back from the dead yet again stronger then ever. He had reached out gently touching Dean's forehead and healed his body, strength and energy flooding Dean's system allowing him to move without agony. Dean had continued to stare at Castiel almost as though the Angel was a stranger. There was a look in his friend's eyes which Dean couldn't analyse, a look that he didn't want to analysis. Dean was aware of his mouth opening and commenting on the fact Castiel was back but he felt as though his mouth was on autopilot.
Castiel had continued to stare at him, his hand twitching at his side before he had turned and walked over to where Bobby lay dead on the ground with a broken neck. The Angel touched his forehead bringing the older man back to the world of the living. Dean watched with disinterest as Bobby climbed unsteadily to his feet, his eyes immediately looking around him, searching for any sign of Sam before they met Dean's. Dean could read the grief and pain in the older man's eyes but he could also see the relief. Relief that Sam's sacrifice had worked and they were still alive in a world that wasn't about to end.
Dean had hated him for a moment.
Everything would be fine for Bobby. He would grieve for Sam; raise a glass of whiskey to the boy before continuing with his life. He would return back to his house and his salvage yard and pick up exactly where he left off before the damned Apocalypse had kicked off.
Dean wouldn't have that same luxury. He knew that Bobby would offer him a place to stay until he was back on his feet but what then? How could Dean stay in a house where he would be surrounded by memories and reminders of his brothers? Hell even Adam had been to Bobby's house and stayed there. Dean wouldn't be free from either of them. Dean would eventually leave and he would be alone. Tormented daily by what had happened. He couldn't cope with it and so he hadn't.
Instead of speaking to Bobby and Castiel, instead of acknowledging what had happened Dean had forced himself to his feet ignoring the way the ground had tilted beneath him and walked to the impala, the last slice of normality he had left from his old life. He had remained silent, ignoring Bobby calling out his name, confusion and worry lacing the gruff tone and gotten into the driving seat, he reached over and locked the passenger door. Sharing one last long look with Bobby who was staring at him in shock, he started the engine and pulled away from the place of Sam and Adam's demise and had driven away leaving it all behind without a look back.
He swore only one thing to himself.
Never again would Dean Winchester set foot in Lawrence, Kansas.
He had been unsurprised by the sound of fluttering wings; the only thing which had surprised him was that Castiel had taken so long to come. Dean had assumed that the Angel had taken the time to take Bobby home since Dean had left the older man stranded in the cemetery. He twisted his head round, looking into the Angel's blue eyes and felt something threaten to get through the numbness coating him, something dark and violent. Dean had swallowed thankful when the emotion had been sucked back into the numbness. He didn't want to feel anything.
It was at that moment that Castiel had told Dean he was leaving to take charge of Heaven since Michael was gone. Dean had ranted at the Angel but he hadn't been paying attention to what he had been saying. His attention had turned inwards as he felt his heart and soul twist violently at the news before it shattered.
His rant stopped mid word, his eyes fixed unseeingly on the road again as his mouth fell open at the sharp agony he felt which was swiftly followed by an overwhelming emptiness in him which threatened to consume him. Dean wanted to pull his baby over and kill the engine. He had wanted to lean against the steering wheel and wrap his arms around his body in an attempt to hold himself together but he knew even before he did it that it would be a wasted effort. The Dean Winchester people knew was gone for good. He knew that so why should he even try to hold onto the shards of his soul which he could feel moving inside him. It wasn't as though they would heal back together. So why try?
He thought he heard Castiel say goodbye, he had turned his head around sharply but he hadn't been quick enough. Castiel was gone and with him the last tie to Dean's pointless old life.
Dean had clenched the wheel tightly in his hands, his knuckles whitening under the pressure as he swallowed deeply and forced himself to concentrate on the road ahead.
He had had every intention of going to Lisa's like he had promised Sam but instead he had driven past the turn off which would have led him to her and Ben without even a glance. He continued driving, stopping at the side of the road when he was too tired to carry on and grabbing one or two hours of broken rest before continuing his journey. He didn't know what direction he was heading in nor did he care. All he knew was that he needed to get away from everything which reminded him of Sam. People, places, music he couldn't cope with the thought of any of it right now.
He wasn't completely without a plan though. He was searching for a place where he could just disappear off of the map without anyone from his past being able to find him. He needed to find a town where the name Dean Winchester meant nothing to anyone, a place where he had never visited in any guise where no one would know his face. He could take the time to rebuild himself, to recover as much as possible and eventually try to come to terms with what had happened to him.
Dean supposed looking back at it and the way he had acted he had experienced some sort of mental breakdown or a version of PTSD like solider had when they returned from the war. If he had been in his right frame of mind he would never have copied down the numbers from his address book and thrown his cell phones out of the window into a passing forest. He wouldn't have ignored Bobby's numerous calls before he did it. He would have done things differently but he hadn't. He doubted anyone could really blame him either. God only knew that most people would have cracked under the pressure he had been under, the constant stress, fear and agony he had endured over the past few months finally taking its toll on him.
At the time though he had just wanted to be alone.
He had to leave the old broken Dean Winchester behind and create a new one. One who would be the complete opposite of his old self. He couldn't do that with constant reminders such as phones or Bobby.
He eventually pulled into a small town, he knew from his last toilet break that he was now in South Vermont. The sign at the front of the town told him to enjoy himself in Brattleboro. He was out of gas, his eyes felt like they had grit in them and he was starving. He had parked the impala up and stepped out of the car, his eyes drifting shut at the warm breeze which ruffled through his hair. Opening them slowly Dean had looked around him; taking in the buildings and the greenery and instantly found him self struck by the place.
He had never been here before which meant he had found the place he had been looking for. Dean could almost imagine to of the smallest part of his shattered soul fusing together at the thought.
He knew that the old Dean Winchester would have hated everything about the place. It would have been too quiet and boring for his taste. He would have rolled his eyes at the old fashioned shops, scoffing out loud that this was much more Sam's sort of place then Dean's. That was what had decided it for him. If he didn't want to be found then he had to do the opposite of what the old him would have done. He could settle in this town safe in the knowledge that no one who knew the old him would think to look there for him. Hell even he wouldn't look for him here.
Dean locked up the car behind him out of habit and slowly began wandering down the main street, taking in the old fashioned shop before his eyes had landed on the diner on the corner of the street. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of it, absently tapping the pocket of his jacket to make sure he had his wallet and headed over to it.
He pushed open the door, glancing up automatically at the sound of the bell which twinkled with the door. He glanced down, looking around him carefully as he took stock of the place. It was old fashioned like most of the other places looking like it belonged in the fifties rather then present time. The booths were comfortable looking and bright red somehow adding to the homely feel the place gave off. A half smile, the first one since he had started driving, came to his face at the sight of the jukebox in the corner. He sniffed appreciatively at the air, his senses hit by the smell of food and freshly brewed coffee making his stomach rumble loudly, reminding him with a vengeance that he hadn't eaten in over a day.
There were four other people in the diner other then himself that he could see. Two waitresses dressed in identical blue uniforms were talking to each other quietly, smiling and laughing as both sets of eyes turned to look at him, the smiles on their faces growing. The other two were two older men; Dean would have placed them in their sixties, drinking coffee at the counter while reading a paper. Dean nodded at them when they both looked up at him, surprised when both of them looked him up and down before giving him a nod of welcome and turning their attention back to what they had been reading.
Dean had walked down towards a booth at the back of diner where he would be able to see everything going on. He still had the instincts of a Hunter and he knew that nothing would change that, not when they were so engrained into his psyche. He shrugged off his light jacket, throwing it into the space beside him before he slid into the seat, pulling out one of the brightly coloured menus and scanning it. His attention moved away to stare out of the window at the people walking past, a slight sigh escaping his mouth as his body relaxed into the worn leather. He had been so exhausted from the long drive that all he could think about was eating and trying to sleep.
A movement to the side of him caught his eyes and he turned toward it to see the older of the two waitresses approaching him, a note pad and pen in hand. She was tall and plump, probably in her early fifties with a motherly look about her. Dyed red hair was tied back in a bun from her pale face. Dark Brown eyes watched him kindly while her mouth curled up into a warm smile which placed him at ease. She had introduced herself as Bernadette, telling him to call her Bernie before asking him what he wanted.
Dean had stared at her, hundreds of answers to her simple question racing through his mind. What Dean wanted was for Sam to be seated across the booth from him, unharmed and whole talking about random rubbish. What Dean wanted was for Castiel to call and suddenly appear beside him, all up in his personal space as he tried to understand what Dean and Sam were talking about. Dean wanted a lot of things but he knew he wasn't going to get them. Sam and Castiel were gone and they weren't coming back to him.
Aware that he had been silent, he swallowed forcing a smile onto his face; his mouth had opened to ask for his usual order of a bacon cheeseburger, fries and beer when he had suddenly stopped shooting Bernadette an apologetic look before pulling the menu to him and having another look at it. Bernadette had waited patiently for him, no sign of annoyance on her face when Dean had finally ordered the grilled chicken with vegetables and a jacket potato as well as a black coffee. Instead she had merely nodded as she wrote the order down, shooting him another warm smile as she informed him she would be right back with his coffee.
If he was going to do this and recreate a new Dean then he was going to this properly. The old Dean would have eaten crap and tried to drink himself into oblivion and an early grave but that Dean was already dead and gone just like his two brothers. If he was going to do the opposite of everything he had done before so he couldn't be found then he would have to eat healthily and turn away from the comfort of alcohol.
Dean had known even back then while he was thinking and planning to rebuild himself that there was something fundamentally wrong about how he was going about trying to cope with his grief but it was the only way he could deal with it. He clung desperately to the numbness surrounding him like a blanket. If he kept the numbness that was keeping his feelings at bay then there would be a chance he would survive this.
The door to the diner opened dragging him away from his dark thoughts. His eyes focused on a woman, possible about a year or two older then himself, as she entered ushering two young boys in. She wore a harassed expression on her pretty face, A look which Dean recognised from his own face back when he was younger and trying to get Sam fed and ready for school. The woman looked up smiling warmly at Bernadette and the other waitress, greeting them both in a soft pleasant voice. Dean couldn't hear what she had said but the tone of the voice soothed something in him.
He found himself watching her, feeling the first signs of interest he had in anything since Sam.
She certainly wasn't his usual type. She was pretty in a fresh faced way as though she didn't have the time to deal with make up or anything like that but she certainly wasn't stunning, not like Lisa and Cassie had been. She was small, perhaps no more then five foot three and slim with a curvy build. Her hair was long, dark and curly and clearly hadn't been brushed that morning before being pulled back into a scruffy ponytail. Her skin was pale as though she didn't see much sun but it was clear. His eyes dropped to her clothes, Jeans, a plaid shirt over a vest top and worn boots. His eyes flickered back to her face just as she looked around her. Smiling and nodding a greeting at the two men before her eyes met his.
They had been large, surrounded by dark lashes though it was the colour which had caught his attention, a bright blue which reminded him instantly of Castiel's. Dean had been surprised when his heart flipped at the sight of them.
She had appeared flustered, looking away quickly from Dean, her cheeks reddening as she turned her attention towards the youngest boy with her. He couldn't have been more then three but he was still talking away to her. Dean wondered what her name was.
Forcing his eyes away from the small family, Dean had dragged over the paper which had been abandoned on the table. He forced another smile onto his face when Bernadette brought his coffee over and thanked her knowing that the old Dean Winchester would have ignored her because she wasn't young or hot. She had seemed pleased by the acknowledgment and had smiled warmly at him, letting him know that his food would be ready shortly.
Dean had nodded, smiling and thanking her again before turning to look back at the paper, picking up the white mug and taking a long sip of the coffee. Feeling eyes on him he had glanced up surprised to see the blue eyes girl watching him curiously. He met her eyes again, a natural smile coming to his face. She remained serious for a moment, her eyes scanning his face before an answering smile came to hers Dean had felt a kick in his stomach at the sight of the smile, surprised by how beautiful he found it. They had watched each other for a further minute before her children caught her attention and she had looked away from him.
Dean had swallowed looking back towards the paper and particularly at the article which had set his Hunting instincts tingling. The story was about some strange going on three towns over from where he was which sounded suspiciously like a ghost to him. He considered going to deal with it but he pushed the thought away. He was in no condition to hunt, let another Hunter deal with it. Dean has turned the page and continued reading something about an upcoming local fair.
Bernadette had returned five minutes later holding a large white plate in one hand and a coffee pot in the other which she offered him, depositing the plate in front of him when he moved the paper out of the way. A glance at his half empty mug had Dean nodding his head. He had thanked her, calling her Bernie and earned himself another smile.
She had been about to walk away to take the order from a young couple who had entered when Dean stopped her, asking her quietly who the blue eyed girl was. Bernadette had watched him for a second with thoughtful dark eyes before she spoke telling him that the young lady was Acacia Hill, she was a teacher in the local middle school who had been widowed shortly after the birth of her youngest when her husband had been knocked down by a drunk driver. Then she had smiled at him, given him a motherly pat on the shoulder and told him to enjoy his meal while it was still warm.
Dean had obeyed, there was something about Bernadette which had reminded him of Ellen and experience had taught him that you didn't disobey someone like that. He ate quickly surprised by how good the food tasted. It hated to admit it but it tasted better then the hamburgers he normally had did. For a moment his mind brought up a picture of his brother flashing him his 'I told you so' face but he pushed it away violently. He couldn't think of Sam.
Once the food had been demolished and his coffee drank he had attracted Bernadette's attention and asked for the bill which she passed to him, watching him with a gentle look on her face as he pulled a twenty from his battered wallet. She had asked him whether he was just passing through or whether he planned to stick around a few days to enjoy the town. He had hesitated for a moment before he had answered telling her he planned to stay. He didn't know what was happening to him, whether he was in some form of shock but he knew he wanted to stay at least for now. She had smiled at his reply and told him the directions to the nicest hotel in town, telling him to tell them that she had sent him and that she would see him again soon.
Dean had nodded, pulling his coat on and left, smiling at Acacia when she looked up at him as passed her table.
Dean hadn't been sure how long he would stay at Brattleboro, he had assumed originally that he would stay a few weeks to start building his shattered self back together again before he returned to Bobby's. He knew he should call his father figure to let him know he was alright but every time he started dialling the number he would stop, not wanting Bobby to hear him so broken.
It has come as a shock to Dean when he realised on a Thursday morning while eating his breakfast at the Diner with William Leon and Derrick Perry that he had been in town for exactly two months without even realising it.
Not only that but he had settled down and was even beginning to feel human again.
He was renting his own one bedroom apartment in the centre of town. He had gotten himself a full time job working in the garage which was owned and ran by Bernadette's husband Boyd with Will and Derrick. He had started filling his evenings by making furniture, discovering by accident that he had a talent for shaping the wood; on top of that he was in the process of restoring an old classic car for Mr Frederickson who lived down the bottom of the street from where Dean's apartment was based.
People would call out to him on the street, stopping him so they could find out how he was and have a chat with him. All of them genuinely interested in what he had to say to them. The men and women who worked at the same garage at him had taken one look at his work and welcomed him into their midst, including him in their banter and jokes. Soon they had been inviting him out for drinks and poker game not mentioning anything about the fact that Dean didn't drink. Those evenings had soon grown to inviting Dean around to watch a game or to have dinner with them. Bernadette treated him as though he was her son, making sure he was well taken care of. Her three daughters had rolled their eyes at their mother and accepted him, treating him like a brother.
Dean had been stumped and more then a little wary at the beginning. Apart from Addison and Trevor Dean hadn't had any friends since he was a child and truth be told he wasn't sure how to proceed so he went with what he knew the old Dean Winchester wouldn't do. He would stop in the street to talk to them; he accepted their invitations even going as far as to hold the poker game in his own apartment. He accepted Bernadette and her family, adopting them as his own and treating them the way he had treated Sam and Bobby. He reigned back on his crude sense of humour and for the first time in years allowed his mask to drop so they could see the real Dean Winchester in all his messed up glory and they had accepted him.
Dean had forgotten what it was like to have people want to talk to him for him and not because they needed him for some task or to kill something for him. The only people who had cared about him that way that been John, Sam, Bobby, Ellen, Jo and Castiel and even they would normally ask him for something.
For the first time since he was four Dean felt like he belonged somewhere and it was a feeling he had liked and one he didn't want to lose. Something about that town and those people made Dean feel alive.
Then of course there had been Acacia.
He had met her again two weeks after the day he had driven into town and first seen her at the diner. It was his first day at the garage and Dean had been left with Quinn Hill who would look after him for the first day or so until he got his bearing, Quinn who had turned out to be Acacia's older twin brother. Acacia came to see him every lunch time either bringing him food in a brown bag or taking her twin out for lunch. Dean became good friends with Quinn and soon Acacia was bringing him lunch in as well.
The more he saw of her and spoke to her the more he liked her. She was warm and kind with a wicked sense of humour which would flare up at the strangest moment. She was strong as well and independent as well as being highly intelligent and Dean found himself more and more attracted to her with each passing meeting.
Quinn had laughed when he realised what was happening under his very nose and had given Dean his blessing with a clap on the back and a threat of bodily harm if he broke her heart.
Dean had waited a few more weeks before asking her out feeling strangely nervous. Not that he needed to be because she had said yes immediately when he had finally done it.
He had expected the date to be a complete disaster after all normally Quinn was with them and with Dean's whole past off limits he had been worried they would have nothing to talk about but somehow it had gone well. Acacia had the same knack as Quinn for placing someone at ease and bringing out the conversation out of them. There was something about her which reminded him of Castiel, something soothing and calming.
They had soon gone steady, seeing each other almost every day. The sex had been amazing and Acacia didn't even moan when Dean would wake up covered in sweat and screaming Sam's name. For the first time Dean found himself talking to someone about his past and everything he had been through. He had expected her to be like Cassie and show him the door but instead she hadn't. She had watched him for a while, her hand combing through his hair and asked him to move in with her. She loved him; she had explained past and all. She had asked Dean to see her mother who was a physiatrist and he had eventually agreed. It had been Andrea Hill who had diagnosed Dean with PTSD and she worked with him weekly to help him.
Dean had hit it off with five year old Aidan and three year old Charlie straight away, not even blinking when one day three months after he and Acacia had moved into together Charlie had called him Dad. Aidan had followed suit once he saw Charlie doing it and Dean had been happy. It had made sense on their year anniversary to drag Bernadette and her oldest daughter Cate with him to the jewellery shop to pick out an engagement ring. The ring had been beautiful, white gold with one diamond on it, not too small and not too large. It had been perfect.
Dean understood finally where his brother had been coming from all these years. Somehow slipping his engagement ring onto Acacia's finger before catching her in his arms finally showed him how amazing a normal life could be.
Her family had been thrilled at the news especially Andrea.
The marriage had been small just like they both wanted. Quinn had been his best man and all his friends had come, faces beaming at him as they all got drunk and toasted the newly weds. Even Addison and Trevor had managed to come down for it. Dean had tried to contact Bobby on both his home line and his mobile but each time he tried the electronic voice told him that the number was disconnected.
It was at his wedding that Addison and Trevor had convinced him to take over the HND. He would be responsible for keeping it updated and they would keep him informed. Dean had discussed with Acacia and agreed.
Life wasn't always easy for them but they were happy. They brought the house of their dreams for cheap mainly because of the sheer amount of work which needed to be done on it but it was theirs. Dean had lost count on how many nights he and Acacia and stayed awake in bed, wrapped in each others arms trying to figure out the colour scheme or what should go where.
Dean had thought life couldn't get any better until Acacia came out of their bathroom one moment, large grin on her face as she announced her pregnancy to him. Dean had freak out right until the point that his twin boys entered the world screaming their woes at anybody who would listen to them before he went through exactly the same experience three years later when their daughter Summer was born.
That was when Dean's world ended for a second time and he lost Acacia.
He was never a hundred percent sure what happened, only that there had been some sort of tear and too much blood. Dean could still picture all the blood when he closed his eyes each night.
He had been devastated but hid it so he could be strong for their family. He buried her next to the gravestone he had put up for Sam, his heart breaking as he watched her coffin being lowered into the ground, his arms wrapped around three year old Nicholas and Kieran who had been confused their faces resting on Dean's shoulders while the two older boys stayed closed to his side, Charlie with his face buried in Dean's side while he cried and Aidan standing next to him watching through a haze of tears.
He had wanted her cremated even though the Hill family always buried their dead but Andrea had agreed on a compromise. Acacia was to be cremated but the urn which contained her ashes would be placed in the coffin and buried. Dean had agreed unable to think through the details.
That had been six months ago and they were coping though it had been hard.
Of course it was at that point that they found him and then everything changed whether he wanted it to or not.