Lumi: 1

Unknown Island.

I wasn't sure how I got here or even here was but I knew I wasn't supposed to be here or where here was or even how I was here yet I shouldn't be here or I wasn't actually here, I just had a strong feeling that I was somewhere else completely different.

I felt unbalanced. I felt new and i felt old at the same time. Sometimes I felt older and sometimes I felt much younger as if I'd remembered a fond childhood memory and was reliving it. I couldn't quite get a balance of my state. I felt like I drifted about, sometimes within and sometimes without a state of being. Like in a dream yet still vaguely aware of your surroundings but in such a blissful mood that your awareness drifted at the fringe of your consciousness.

I mostly floated at the beginning when I lazily pondered, as little flutters of thoughts or feelings would seep in and out. Yet I never really made an effort to grasp on to them.

Sometimes I hungered but when the need was sedated I continued on like a breeze just flittering everywhere. I never really thought about the hunger or the bouts of emotions I'd get, I just let them run their course.

I wasn't really aware when touch and smell came to be, it was always there just muted a lot. It's wasn't like one day I had an epiphany and I could feel, no it was there I just never bothered to categorise it.

I was finally becoming aware of my body, as if I'd just drifted outside it for quite awhile and once I was seeping into it it felt cramped, small, different, as if I was much more and now I'm much less, compressed.

One day I saw my reflection in a puddle. I was baffled as I stared at myself, I wasn't even sure how I sat in front of it, I wasn't even I aware I could walk or I did walk. I looked like me, maybe? With the black wet with rain, dark brown eyes with little flecks or blues, greens and purples? Was that usual? I looked like.. I saw a resemblance, I looked like my children. Children? The thought stumped me. It's came out of nowhere, like it was always there. I had? Would have? Will have? How? What? What?

I sat there confused as a light drizzle of rain serenaded down. I angled my face about to see what brought on this sudden thought. It was the cheeks, the round chubby cheeks that gave me the a cherubic look and reminded, made me feel such love and devotion for. Where were they? Who were they? Why do I feel so saddened.

I felt empty as I held onto those feelings, they felt rooted deep within. I wanted to be with them so badly, yet here I was. Alone in front of a puddle. I could hear voices drift around but they seemed more of a buzz, as if I'd entered a crowded market place and people went about their daily business. There were voices of comfort mixed within the folds. Felt like empty words. I wanted them, the one I longed for, I didn't know who or what they looked like or what they were called. I just knew they were my light, my life and dream, for what I lived for.

I wasn't reincarnated nor had I died. No, I was just here like I'd always been here yet the feeling of sorrow I felt for not knowing where my important people were was so real. I knew I was someone before I was want I am now. I have, had a bond. I'm not going to complain about being dealt a shit life. Everyone has ups and downs in life and the downs feel you've descended into darkness like you have no light to drag you out but you find your light eventually. I'd found mine yet now I seemed to have lost it.

My heart ached for them. The more I tried to force myself to picture them. Remember them. The more painful everything felt. My lungs seemed to struggle with the oxygen, my head pounded, my body felt heavier than ever, my veins felt on fire as my skin tingled.

It wasn't until the drops of red landed in the puddle of rain, did I realise that everything felt muted, I felt crushed as if someone was squeezing me from all sides. It me realise I was, I am a claustrophobic. I gasped for breath, my eyes bloodshot, the veins on my forehead becoming visible from the effort, my nose bleeding, my ears ringing. The voices around me getting louder and then I blacked out.

I don't think I was supposed to remember. No, I don't think it works like that. I was new. I don't know if I died and I won't even try to speculate on that. For all I know. I could be dream merging, hopping. Dreams. I had a thread of thought there. Dreams are what give people ideas, help interpret life, fulfill ambition, make a career, even help you escape the reality you live, just for awhile. Dreams to me seem, feel like doors to another realm. For your mind to dream of something, you have to connect yourself to enter into that perspective, time would have its own length and you get a glimpse of another life of yourself in a parallel world. Parallel world and black holes or multiverse have been studied and theorised and though I don't remember actually merging or slipping through. I felt like this speculation had a feeling of some truth. In my culture, my older self's one, there's a saying. When a child is born he or she is born with an old Rû (soul), everyone's soul is old yet they're body is young. I'm not sure why I remembered that with such clarity but I do. I feel a ring of truth to it.

Maybe all these books and myths are just our other self's and people have jumped to or got snippets and glimpses as they've dreamed and chronicled them down. They have been many an author that has said they've had an idea for a book from a dream or daydream. Twilight, she dreamt about it, Harry Potter, she daydreamed as the thoughts fluttered by on her train journey, Frankenstein, a feeling of loss and dreaming of reconnecting. Maybe those moments were little slips to another multiverse, each different, never the same verse as they've said to be an infinite number of multiverse and none can confirm or theorise as no one's really given it thought. Or even if they have and had it's probably a work of fiction somewhere out there.

In the life I have, had I was small speck of insignificance, I just mattered to the people in my personal bubble, I wasn't someone outing going or huge that could make an impact. I didn't really matter to most just a few, and few mattered to me a lot. Now I was here. I'm still someone small and insignificant. I don't want to make an impact or change the world or make waves if any sort.

What does it matter, there's no one here that matters to me nor do I matter to anyone. If I did I wouldn't be all alone somewhere in the middle of nowhere, barely out of toddlerdom with whispers of ghost voices around me. At first it freaked me out, alot, I've always been a scaredy cat, afraid of most things. I think I still am but I never saw anyone, just a few voices of comfort. Though most I didn't understand at all, they helped, they soothed the anxiety I'd built up.

I still very lonely, so very depressed. I still wanted to go back to what I was before, not to now. I had given up. I hadn't realised how close to death I'd come, how I just blurred away, my body wasted away, I couldn't dream, I slept a the time of just lay where I was never focusing, just listless in my own waste. There was no one around me.

I faded…

I faded into the grey. The whispers much clearer, encouraging me. I listened to it, like one would to a soothing medley of lullabies, I didn't feel so alone then, I wanted to join them, It didn't matter anymore, nothing did, I couldn't dream, I had no bonds.

Bonds… D. Lum…

The whispers were louder, so many of them, most I could not comprehend, the voices dimmed till they merged as one. " D no issho.. D no issho.. D no issho.." I couldn't understand and didn't really bother to try.

"The will of D. Still lives." said another as I felt the barest of touches. Awareness flooded my lethargic mind and I felt a tug, a connection to something, to someone so far a way, emotions. It was just the barest of slivers but it gave me clarity. A spark of hope.

The voices sounded delighted. More animated as they spoke I hadn't noticed how sorrowful they were before. I sat in my drained little body, the grey area tinted with blue. I swiveled about, trying to pin the tones of voices. Little sparks fluttered into existence all around. Tiny little specks the size of thumbnail in a multitude of colours pressed upon me. I didn't feel so tired with them upon me, as if little bouts of energy were seeping into my pores.

A haze of white drifted around. A mirage of scenes appeared and blew away like smoke. A man on an execution stand. A teen shirtless teen upon an execution stand with an army surrounding him. An old man cracking the air. A teen in a straw hat running. One with a hole in his chest another in shock. The scenes faded and blurred and billowed away like a train engine letting out smoke. They were many others but these rang a cord within me.

Everything drifted away, the white haze first then the blue tinted surroundings, the voices lowered to a whisper and then everything returned to normal. I still sat in my deceased body, the sparks still fluttering around me.

My body gave out, I flopped to the ground watching the sparks, to weak to do anything. A few hoovered right in my face. Which have me a good look at they're multitude of colours. They weren't little flecks of light, but little tiny bodies which glowed with wisps of light drifting around like tentacles. Fairies? No, fairies have wings, these didn't, they floated with their little wisps of colour. Sprite's? Sprite's, their bodies more twig like, glowing orbs for eyes, slanting upwards. They were adorable little creature's, little rustles of sound escaped them, like a breeze through the trees.

They were beautiful to look at wishing around with trails of coloured light.

With them around I wasn't so lonely anymore.

A/N:

My writings a bit over the place, but this will be the flow of the story. Her thoughts somewhat scattered, trying to adjust to a new environment.

Not sure where I'm going with it, got a few variations planned of how and where the story should head with some canon diverages.

I'm not really good on completing things as I lose interest but I'll try to do as much as I can.