------
Pein and Konan: Valentine's Day Special!
------
February 14th. Normally a day just like any other at the Akatsuki base. They were all S-rank criminals, after all. They didn't need holidays... er... right?
"Dammit Deidara, I actually wanted to eat those!" Sasori glared across the lounge at his hyperactive blonde partner, who was busy making tiny candy hearts explode.
"Oh come on, Danna, I only get to do this once a year! You wouldn't like them anyway, un."
But Sasori continued to glare. "I DO still have a sense of taste. I like those candy hearts, but I never get to eat any!" He froze as Pein stepped out of his office into the lounge, glaring at both of them.
"Share." He stared at them until Deidara passed two packages of candy hearts across the table, and started to walk away just as Hidan and Kakuzu came in from their mission.
"Shit, that was the worst mission we've had yet! I was right in the middle of a ritual, why did you have to screw things up like that?"
Kakuzu glowered as best as he could under his mask. "If you had taken the time to finish off the rest of them, you would have had less distraction during that stupid ritual, idiot."
"There were only twelve left, I thought you'd love to take care of them. Dammit."
"Why do you always have to use so many this time of year, anyway?"
Hidan grinned haughtily. "On this day of love and joy, what better way to serve Jashin than with extra blood and gore?"
"Idiot. Valentine's Day is just a corporate scheme to get money out of people." Katsu!BOOOOMBOOM! Two candy hearts exploded at once, but before anyone else could complain, Zetsu morphed through the floor and into the room, looking horribly embarrassed. His whole outer shell was covered in pink and red painted hearts, with-- good lord, SPRINKLES? Pink and white sprinkles scattered onto the previously wet paint. Pein's mouth gaped with surprise, but then so did everyone else's.
"Z-Zetsu...! What happened to you?"
The black half's mouth twitched with anger. "TOBI HAPPENED TO ME! He really did mean well, though. He just got a little carried away. CARRIED AWAY? I'M GOING TO KILL THAT KID... I SWEAR... SOMEDAY... No, no, Tobi's a good boy..."
Before the two halves could get into deeper disagreement, Tobi pranced up in all his pink-covered glory. Even his mask was pink, matching his entire pink ensemble of clothing. He had even painted red and white hearts all over his mask as well as one of his kunai. "ZETSU SAAAAAAAAN!!!!" Immediately the sugar energized Tobi glomped Zetsu, and would have glomped Pein too if Kakuzu hadn't held the boy back with his threads. Pein sighed with relief, nodding thanks to Kakuzu before composing himself.
"Calm down, Tobi. No more chocolate if you don't behave."
Tobi immediately held still after Kakuzu released him, sitting down on the couch with as much calm as he could muster after consuming so many pixi sticks. "Hai, Leader-sama! Tobi's a good boy!"
Finally, everyone seemed to be quiet. He almost sighed again in relief when Itachi and Kisame entered the lair. Itachi looked like he hadn't slept in days, and Kisame seemed to be on the same sugar high as Tobi. This was going to be a long day.
Itachi glanced up at Pein, squinting visibly. "Leader-sama. I... apologize. Kisame ate a few too many dango."
Kisame grinned widely, openly protesting. "You did too, Itachi-san!"
Itachi glared up at the shark man. "When you eat too much sugar, you go into a hyperactive killing spree. I just fall asleep and wake up with a headache."
Pein's eye twitched. "A... killing spree? Please tell me you didn't do it while on your mission!"
Itachi shook his head, pinching his sinuses as his head ached from the effort. "No, I completed the mission. We were intercepted by cloud ninja on the way back."
"Cloud ninja in the rock country...? Well, at least you finished your mission. Thank you for... taking care of him."
"I really need to take a nap. Excuse me." Itachi glanced once at Tobi before exiting the room, shaking his head. He would never eat that much dango again. And he made a note to never look at Tobi during a holiday. What an eye sore!
Kisame's eyes darted all over the room energetically, finally landing on Tobi. "HEYYY! Tobi-chan, you look festive!"
Tobi darted instantly in front of Kisame. "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY KISAME-SAN!!!!"
Hidan groaned audibly. "Jashin help me. I'm gonna go mutilate something. Or someone." He sneered once more at the disgusting pink display before leaving the base.
Kakuzu looked just as disgusted. "I'm gonna knock Hidan's head off a few times." He shuddered visibly before he too left.
"Danna, let's find more candy hearts to blow up, un!" Deidara grabbed Sasori's hand, dragging him outside while the puppet master mouthed a pleading "Help me!" to Pein before he disappeared out the door.
Kisame watched after the two and grinned at Tobi. "Tobi-chan, let's go watch!"
Tobi nodded energetically. "OKAY KISAME-SAN!" With irritating speed, the offensive pink monster fled out the door with Kisame barely trailing. Pein finally sighed again in relief, collapsing down onto his chair. There was a reason they all rarely got together - they wore him out! His eyes drifted to the ceiling, and then back to his office, and he entered the small enclosure slowly, glancing down at a small package. With a smile, he snuck into the room he shared with Konan, and sat on his bed until she returned.
She entered quietly as always, closing the door behind her, but instead of him being in his office as usual, she was a bit surprised to see him waiting for her. Her eyes darted to his in surprise.
"Pein? Did you get your work done already?"
He smiled slightly, shaking his head. "Not yet." But he raised his eyes to meet hers, and lacking anything else to say, he held out the small package to her.
"What's this for?" Her head tilted curiously, but he didn't answer, just waited for her to open it. Her hands deftly tore the paper off the small pack, then slipped inside to hold out a small hair comb decorated with a large blue metallic rose. She smiled wide, immediately replacing her usual paper flower with the comb. "What's the occasion?"
He rose to meet her eyes more closely, his hand on her shoulder gently. "Happy Valentine's Day, Konan." Her mouth twitched into another smile. She nodded in thanks before leaning in to kiss him softly. He was a subtle person, showing what he thought in small ways, and even now he kept his return kiss simple, but not at all lacking in meaning. Between them the small things mattered most.
------
A/N: Thank you for being patient for this quick OneShot to show up! I only took the past hour or so, but at least it's on time. R&R, reviews are awesome!