My brother is not as cool as a monkey on a moped, so I will not dedicate
this story to him. I will dedicate it to the moped riding monkeys of the
world instead. Without them where would we be? The exact same place just
without the monkeys on mopeds, probably.
I have decided disclaimers suck and I'm definitely not making any money out of this silly story or anything else I have ever written and probably never will, though this disclaimer might win a trophy, I'm just not sure where the trophy will come from, probably out of some trophy cabinet somewhere with the real recipient's name crossed out and mine written over the top. But I digress the point of this was disclaimers are a waste of space and time because I'll never make money off of these humor type stories anyway. Oh and by the way incase you didn't know I don't own Stargate or any characters, I have just kidnapped the cast and crew and made them do what I want. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahha.
*A Bit of Randomness*
A bit of Randomness induced by eating too many sherbet lemons and drinking Pepsi.
By Zork the Unbearable
***
Well back at the old SGC I wonder what exciting Adventures are in store for our heroes today! Ah here are Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill right now....
"Hmmm, what should we do today?"
"Get into some amazing adventure with aliens, technology and cool special effects, then miraculously survive to do it all tomorrow?"
"Its my day off, I don't feel like adventuring or doing paper work or anything like that."
"Well we could go off base and do something somewhere."
"Like?"
"Fishing, or watching TV"
"Or catching up on the world"
"Or FISHING"
"Or not fishing"
"Fine, why don't you and the guys crash at my place, for the day."
"A slumber party, yay, we could do each others make-up and talk about boys then we can play truth or dare!"
"Shut the hell up Danny Boy."
"Right, sorry. I'll just tell Sam and Teal'c"
"You go do that."
LATER THAT DAY AT JACK"S PLACE
"Jack I'm really bored."
"So am I O'Neill"
"Me too"
"What don't any of you like watching sports?"
"Jack I don't consider fishing sport, not even fishing with commentary or international fishing championships they are not sport."
"Then why are you here?"
"You told us to come."
"Didn't expect you to turn up."
"Oh, should we leave? I have some interesting artifacts I could look at."
"You find looking at rocks more interesting than spending quality time with your friends and co workers?"
"Artifacts, not rocks artifacts"
"Well Danny I think I should start to entertain you folks."
"Its Daniel not Danny or Space Monkey, my name is Daniel"
"Hey Danny, want a beer?"
"DANIEL, not Danny"
"Carter, T? Beer?"
"Sir do you have anything else?"
"Um I've got some green stuff"
"Midori?"
"It says Vodka on the Label"
"I'll stick to the Beer"
"O'Neill, this beverage does not taste correct."
"Yeah, just drink a dozen then they'll taste fine."
"Jack are you trying to get T drunk?"
"Well Danny is no fun getting you drunk because you only take two beers and then its rocks this ancients that, you're quite a boring drunk."
"Okay, hey Teal'c you can have mine too, this is going to be fun."
LATER THAT DAY
"Jack we have run out of beer, and I'm pretty sure that green vodka Teal'c is drinking isn't quite right."
"Hey Sam, do you have any ideas what we can do without alcohol?"
"Sure when I was at college, my friends and I used to snort sherbet and steal towels from the guys showers."
"Sherbet?"
"We were college students, and we were already on sugar highs and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Okay Danny, Sam Teal'c we are going to sneak back onto the base and steal all the towels from the showers!"
"Then what?"
"We will find some sherbet and sniff it"
"Hey Jack I have a great idea!"
"Yes Daniel"
"We can get all the Jello from the base and put it into this blow up pool that I found in your cupboard and get all the girls to have fights in it!"
"That is a great plan!"
"Indeed it is"
"Well if its blue Jello, I guess I'll fight"
"Too the Jack mobile"
AT THE BASE
"Well here is the showers, okay T you sneak in and grab the towels"
"I shall embark on this mission of great importance"
"Go on then"
"Teal'c take their clothes too"
"Indeed I will Daniel Jackson."
"This is going to be great!"
"Teal'c what the hell are you doing? Bring back my towel!"
"Hey those are my boxers, give them back"
"Ahhhh I'm nude, and that damn alien stole my clothes"
"I am finished O'Neill"
"Let's go snort some sherbet!"
AFTER MUCH SCREAMING FROM THE MALE SHOWERS THE TEAM HAS FOUND SOME JELLO
"O'Neill how do we get the females in the jello?"
"We get Carter to ask them, starting with the doc."
"Sam why do you want to fight me in a jello pit? And how much have you drunk tonight?"
"In reverse order I have drunk a lot, and I'm fighting because there is blue jello in that jello pit!"
"Well if it's blue"
"Space monkey, it looks like the blue jello fight is on!"
"Yay its Janet, I mean yay jello fights"
"Yay its Carter, I mean yay jello fights"
Teal'c raises one eyebrow incredibly high, so high that it is no longer on his face but is on the top of his head.
And the narrator has to but in because jello fights at the SGC is too incredible and should not be tolerated, I just want too know where is the General when all hell is broken loose?
SHOWERS
"SG-1 you'll pay for this!"
Ah there he is, oh sorry by the time you have read this the jello fights have finished and SG-1 are back to sniffing sherbet.
"Jack my nose feels funny, and I'm really dizzy and I don't think sherbet was made to be sniffed."
"Danny, stop whining and drink your coffee"
"Mmmmmmmm coffee, Java, cappuccino, latte, I love coffee. Even instant coffee is good. Why doesn't the SGC have a Starbucks?"
"One of those is opening tomorrow, Daniel Jackson"
"Yippee"
"Daniel do Starbucks sell blue jello?"
"Coffee Sam coffee! Blue jello flavored coffee!"
Daniel breaks into song
"You know what's so great about coffee? No? Well you can drink a coffee anytime you want coffee will always be there when you have a real bad day! There's coffee for fishin' and coffee for jello, blue of course. And there is even a coffee that goes well with Stargate travel...."
"Oi space monkey you are really really bad at singing. That wasn't even a tune and the words didn't fit right that was the worst song ever. Just drink your coffee and stop singing please."
"Mmmmmmmm coffee. "
"Sir look at the time its not our day off anymore, maybe we should get ready for our meeting with General Hammond."
"I guess, we should get drunk and snort sherbet more often."
"Indeed"
"That's a good coffee!"
*Fin*
* * *
I have actually snorted sherbet, it makes your nose hurt and I was on a sugar high at the time also induced by eating sherbet. Mmmmmmmm sherbet.
But I wasn't drunk at the time though a few friends were ah the memories of high school. Such rebels we were.
I think I'll go eat a sherbet lemon and think up a title for this thing.
Oh post some reviews because then I get emails and that makes me happy and I get more random and write more but if you don't write reviews I don't get emails so I write more random stories to try and get more reviews, so please review so I can be lazy and not write so much. Or don't just hurt my feelings. Or flame me and I will become so random you'll think I'm manic and not understand anything I type.
Mwahahahahahaha
Zork The Unbearable.
I have decided disclaimers suck and I'm definitely not making any money out of this silly story or anything else I have ever written and probably never will, though this disclaimer might win a trophy, I'm just not sure where the trophy will come from, probably out of some trophy cabinet somewhere with the real recipient's name crossed out and mine written over the top. But I digress the point of this was disclaimers are a waste of space and time because I'll never make money off of these humor type stories anyway. Oh and by the way incase you didn't know I don't own Stargate or any characters, I have just kidnapped the cast and crew and made them do what I want. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahha.
*A Bit of Randomness*
A bit of Randomness induced by eating too many sherbet lemons and drinking Pepsi.
By Zork the Unbearable
***
Well back at the old SGC I wonder what exciting Adventures are in store for our heroes today! Ah here are Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill right now....
"Hmmm, what should we do today?"
"Get into some amazing adventure with aliens, technology and cool special effects, then miraculously survive to do it all tomorrow?"
"Its my day off, I don't feel like adventuring or doing paper work or anything like that."
"Well we could go off base and do something somewhere."
"Like?"
"Fishing, or watching TV"
"Or catching up on the world"
"Or FISHING"
"Or not fishing"
"Fine, why don't you and the guys crash at my place, for the day."
"A slumber party, yay, we could do each others make-up and talk about boys then we can play truth or dare!"
"Shut the hell up Danny Boy."
"Right, sorry. I'll just tell Sam and Teal'c"
"You go do that."
LATER THAT DAY AT JACK"S PLACE
"Jack I'm really bored."
"So am I O'Neill"
"Me too"
"What don't any of you like watching sports?"
"Jack I don't consider fishing sport, not even fishing with commentary or international fishing championships they are not sport."
"Then why are you here?"
"You told us to come."
"Didn't expect you to turn up."
"Oh, should we leave? I have some interesting artifacts I could look at."
"You find looking at rocks more interesting than spending quality time with your friends and co workers?"
"Artifacts, not rocks artifacts"
"Well Danny I think I should start to entertain you folks."
"Its Daniel not Danny or Space Monkey, my name is Daniel"
"Hey Danny, want a beer?"
"DANIEL, not Danny"
"Carter, T? Beer?"
"Sir do you have anything else?"
"Um I've got some green stuff"
"Midori?"
"It says Vodka on the Label"
"I'll stick to the Beer"
"O'Neill, this beverage does not taste correct."
"Yeah, just drink a dozen then they'll taste fine."
"Jack are you trying to get T drunk?"
"Well Danny is no fun getting you drunk because you only take two beers and then its rocks this ancients that, you're quite a boring drunk."
"Okay, hey Teal'c you can have mine too, this is going to be fun."
LATER THAT DAY
"Jack we have run out of beer, and I'm pretty sure that green vodka Teal'c is drinking isn't quite right."
"Hey Sam, do you have any ideas what we can do without alcohol?"
"Sure when I was at college, my friends and I used to snort sherbet and steal towels from the guys showers."
"Sherbet?"
"We were college students, and we were already on sugar highs and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Okay Danny, Sam Teal'c we are going to sneak back onto the base and steal all the towels from the showers!"
"Then what?"
"We will find some sherbet and sniff it"
"Hey Jack I have a great idea!"
"Yes Daniel"
"We can get all the Jello from the base and put it into this blow up pool that I found in your cupboard and get all the girls to have fights in it!"
"That is a great plan!"
"Indeed it is"
"Well if its blue Jello, I guess I'll fight"
"Too the Jack mobile"
AT THE BASE
"Well here is the showers, okay T you sneak in and grab the towels"
"I shall embark on this mission of great importance"
"Go on then"
"Teal'c take their clothes too"
"Indeed I will Daniel Jackson."
"This is going to be great!"
"Teal'c what the hell are you doing? Bring back my towel!"
"Hey those are my boxers, give them back"
"Ahhhh I'm nude, and that damn alien stole my clothes"
"I am finished O'Neill"
"Let's go snort some sherbet!"
AFTER MUCH SCREAMING FROM THE MALE SHOWERS THE TEAM HAS FOUND SOME JELLO
"O'Neill how do we get the females in the jello?"
"We get Carter to ask them, starting with the doc."
"Sam why do you want to fight me in a jello pit? And how much have you drunk tonight?"
"In reverse order I have drunk a lot, and I'm fighting because there is blue jello in that jello pit!"
"Well if it's blue"
"Space monkey, it looks like the blue jello fight is on!"
"Yay its Janet, I mean yay jello fights"
"Yay its Carter, I mean yay jello fights"
Teal'c raises one eyebrow incredibly high, so high that it is no longer on his face but is on the top of his head.
And the narrator has to but in because jello fights at the SGC is too incredible and should not be tolerated, I just want too know where is the General when all hell is broken loose?
SHOWERS
"SG-1 you'll pay for this!"
Ah there he is, oh sorry by the time you have read this the jello fights have finished and SG-1 are back to sniffing sherbet.
"Jack my nose feels funny, and I'm really dizzy and I don't think sherbet was made to be sniffed."
"Danny, stop whining and drink your coffee"
"Mmmmmmmm coffee, Java, cappuccino, latte, I love coffee. Even instant coffee is good. Why doesn't the SGC have a Starbucks?"
"One of those is opening tomorrow, Daniel Jackson"
"Yippee"
"Daniel do Starbucks sell blue jello?"
"Coffee Sam coffee! Blue jello flavored coffee!"
Daniel breaks into song
"You know what's so great about coffee? No? Well you can drink a coffee anytime you want coffee will always be there when you have a real bad day! There's coffee for fishin' and coffee for jello, blue of course. And there is even a coffee that goes well with Stargate travel...."
"Oi space monkey you are really really bad at singing. That wasn't even a tune and the words didn't fit right that was the worst song ever. Just drink your coffee and stop singing please."
"Mmmmmmmm coffee. "
"Sir look at the time its not our day off anymore, maybe we should get ready for our meeting with General Hammond."
"I guess, we should get drunk and snort sherbet more often."
"Indeed"
"That's a good coffee!"
*Fin*
* * *
I have actually snorted sherbet, it makes your nose hurt and I was on a sugar high at the time also induced by eating sherbet. Mmmmmmmm sherbet.
But I wasn't drunk at the time though a few friends were ah the memories of high school. Such rebels we were.
I think I'll go eat a sherbet lemon and think up a title for this thing.
Oh post some reviews because then I get emails and that makes me happy and I get more random and write more but if you don't write reviews I don't get emails so I write more random stories to try and get more reviews, so please review so I can be lazy and not write so much. Or don't just hurt my feelings. Or flame me and I will become so random you'll think I'm manic and not understand anything I type.
Mwahahahahahaha
Zork The Unbearable.