This is more of a prologue than an actual chapter.

Thanks for reading :)

In our own world

Departure

"Watch where you're heading!"

"You'll live."

"You almost made me lose my leg!"

Raven's voice resonated loudly in the airport's main hallway as the blonde stranger she just bumped into made no sign of apology, rather winking at her as she took off in the opposite direction. Raven's unusual sentence made a few heads turn to her direction, confusion well displayed in the looks she was being sent. The young woman shrugged and turned to her own blonde friend as they both walked toward the registering counter to check in.

"Don't you think it's amazing, the amount of people who've never seen a woman wearing a brace? You'd think they enjoy being born stupid and doing nothing to change their IQ level or something," she said.

"It's amazing how grumpy you are when we have to wake up at four in the morning," Clarke's lethargic voice answered.

"I wanted to go on a trip. I never said anything about sacrifying my sleep for it. You're the one who wanted to leave early to avoid traffic. But beside that, that's her loss. She has no idea she just hit the next best mechanic in America. I'm going to be requested later and she missed her chance for an authograph."

"You are the human personalization of modesty, has anyone ever told you that?" Clarke deadpaned, tossing her third empty cup of coffee in the nearest garbage bag she could find.

Raven winked as they received their boarding passes and had their lugagges verified. She loved airports, even more since her involvement in a certain car accident that had trapped with a leg brace for eternity. She came from a modest family, and flying was a dream she had had since she had become aware of huge machines defying gravity. She had spent many hours reading about what miraculous systems made it possible for them to cross to the sky.

Meeting Clarke had been a pure coincidence, but it had lead to much more than what she had expected.

It had been Clarke's last day as an intern at her mother's hospital, which also had coincided with the one Raven had been brought to after her accident. An extremely pissed Raven had just learned she would need a brace for the rest of her life, and she had been tossing things around, claiming she didn't need any cheap piece of metal to help her stand up, when Clarke had finally walked in her room.

The blonde med student had barely had time to avoid a box of random drugs being thrown at her head as she had closed the door behind them. Clarke hadn't needed any help figuring out what the matter was. Frankly, she couldn't blame her patient to want to murder her, but she did wish she had finished her internship a day ealier.

The blonde intern had tried to discuss with Raven, but the woman just ignored her existence.

Clarke had then proceeded to do the only thing she could think of while she was being thrown looks of painful death : flirting. It made no sense, but to her surprise, it worked.

Raven had been her last patient, of her last day, and she obviously was going through the worst day of her life, so Clarke could afford to let go of all ethical etiquette she had learned for a few minutes. She had tried to cheer Raven up by using the lamest pick-up lines she could think of, knowing if would only make them laugh at her awkwardness.

Raven's features had turned from anger, to confusion, to annoyance, to slight interest, and finally, she had let Clarke go on with her consult.

Neither of them had known at that time that the flirting would lead to a series of casual hook ups, until Raven's heart got stolen by another guy. They remained the closest friends since then.

They walked in direction of their gate, stopping for breakfast on the way. Clarke's three coffees weren't a consistent meal, and Raven had promised the Griffin parents that she would keep their daughter healthy enough to go through their whole trip.

Raven was only waiting for them to leave their city to break that promise.

After ordering two blueberry muffins and enough pancakes to cure world hunger, they waited for their plane to arrive at the gate, their departure in direction of New York City scheduled for seven o'clock.

They exchanged a few words before losing themselves in the virtual world one last time. Raven yawned excessively loudly, which made Clarke pretend she had no idea who this strange woman was. A few mockeries, with a lot of muffin crumbs spattered on the airport's floor, later, they were turning their phones off and waiting for their seats to begin boarding.

"Have you texted O? She's probably awake by now," Clarke asked as she absentely played with her shirt.

"I did. She said to bring her souvenirs from every city we see since she can't get out of school."

"You mean since Lincoln can't get out of school. The woman's so whipped she would rather stay here in case she misses her boyfriend's graduation."

"At least she has a date," Raven pointed out.

"At least we have many plane tickets to travel," Clarke replied excitedly.

They both had been single since the incident that was partly responsible for this impulsive idea to backpack around the world, and while they missed the feeling of commiting to someone, they weren't in any hurry to settle down again.

"What if we meet our soulmates out there and we don't know it because they don't speak the same language as us?" Raven wondered out loud, half joking. "I could be using my best moves and the person wouldn't even realize it, it's a damn tragedy."

"If you can't make the person realize you're using your best move, it's probably not your best move," Clarke wisely replied.

"You're probably right. But imagine meeting someone you actually care about, and it's at some astonomical distance from where you come from. I mean, I know we don't know when we're coming back, but still, I'm not moving."

Clarke nodded. It was Raven's first long term trip, but it wasn't Clarke's. The blonde woman had had many encounters in her years of following her parents from one country to another, and whenever it started to lead somewhere serious, she had reminded herself that long distance relationships were not what she needed. There were enough complicated aspects in her life, she surely didn't need to add another one.

It hadn't stopped her from trying.

The heartaches and life threats that had resulted from those relationships had been enough to convince herself to never go this way again.

"You'll learn. We're not gone yet, don't think about all those things when we have no intention of dating in the first place," Clarke replied. "Somedays, life can just be twisted enough to make you enjoy someone's company a little too much. I'll drag you out of there if it happens."

"I like to surpass my limits, you know it. You're boring, C."

"I can live with that."

"I'd rather take my chances than be boring."

Raven's voice was full of conviction, and Clarke momentarily found herself wondering about those what if's. She was about to reply when their section was asked to start boarding the plane. She clenched her ticket in her hand, a nervous habit she had whenever she travelled, and glanced around one last time.

The airport was slowly coming back to life, after a quiet morning. Travellers of all kinds rushed from all directions, each of them with a specific destination in mind. It was crazy, the way this organized yet anarchic chaos found it rightful place in a world regulated by an incredibly high numbers of rules.

This one-of-a-kind disorder always seemed to fascinate some people, and terrify others. It represented the doors to other places, other territories, opposite cultures and contradicting beliefs. It filled itself with all sorts of people, neither friends nor enemies, sharing the one common goal of going somewhere else.

It was a whole distinct country itself, characterized by a mix of endless hallways and numbers of vendor machines, and by people being scrutinized like they each had a past tainted by corruption.

Some were heading home after a long vacation, and buzzed with the excitement of seeing their family again. Some were running away from their entourage in an ultimate quest to find themselves. Some were waiting to embark on a journey that would lead them to new career opportunities, while some were only waiting to party at their arrival.

A woman sat with her children, probably praying that none of them made a mess in the huis clos that was the airplane. A businessman reviewed his notes while talking at light speed on his phone. A couple of young college students played with their phones, updating their Facebook profiles like tomorrow didn't exist.

Two lovers were crying over their imminent separation.

Airplanes landed loudly all around them, while others rose proudly to the skies, governed by pilots focused on their tasks. People ran, jumped, raced, sprinted, even crawled, on every centimeter of the floor. Lost items were being carried from one terminal to another, while frantic people lost their mind over their passports and official papers.

It was a riotous world, but its appearance appeared clean at all time.

Temporary friendships were made by curious travelers gathering around the same coffee place. It was easy to spark a conversation with people they were never going to meet again. Whether it was to play cards or assemble around a guitar player, to steal a phone number that they were never going to call or an expensive computer, people just leant toward social interactions.

Temporary enemies were also made when requests were denied, and when planes were late and patience was tested.

Contacts were initiated by the most unexpected people, and sometimes, it lead to stories coming right out of fairytales.

There was no proper notion of physic in airports. Laws were never fully, especially those of space and time. A precise moment never settled to one specific time in a specific place. Time and space were ruled by relativity, by the various time zones and never ending distances in-between.

It was a place where hours and territories from all around the world collided together, creating a whirl of abstracted concepts. It was a place where any country could be reached simply by buying tickets or by shaking the hand of a native individual.

It was a place filled by stress and politics, and unjustified judgment. It was the art of diplomacy without the presence of the most important politicians. It was the art of trying to control everyone's presence and behavior, when this goal was unreachable on all sides.

It was a land where dreams flew high, but where hope could crash from greater heights.

It was place where boundaries were everywhere, and nowhere to be seen at the same time.

"I hope you didn't book all of our flights at this time or I'll consider moving back home already," Raven ranted as she fought the urge to fall asleep.

Clarke threw her an unimpressed look.

"You're the one who told me, and I quote, that 'we had to get as far away as possible from our place, because I was not doing okay, and you were not doing okay, and that it was not okay for us to not be okay, and that we needed to be okay, because the depression themed ambiance was not okay!' And you also told me the only way for us to be okay was to cut all links with our not okay situation, which mean you forced up to go on this impulsive 'it will make us be okay again' trip!"

Raven blinked, and blinked some more, and then winced at the number of okay in the same sentence. The future mechanic couldn't blame Clarke. Octavia and Clarke had came back late the day she had confronted her blonde friend about their situation and its potential solution.

"Okay?" Raven asked innocently.

"I've become allergic to this word!" Clarke dramatically covered her eyes with the palms of her hands.

"Fine! I promise not to use the word 'okay' anymore, okay?"

It took two microseconds for Raven to avoid the ball of napkins being thrown at her face.

"Are we crazy?" Raven whispered.

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut for a second. She tried not to think of her family, of Octavia and their other friends they left behind for an unknown amount of time. She tried to ignore the twist in her heart that told her maybe it was a terrible idea. She tried to enourage the part of her that believed it was a terrific idea.

She managed to ignore the tiny part of her that insisted on remembering all the most tragic plane accidents, instead leaning on her rational statistical side.

"We are." Clarke murmured back.

When Raven and Clarke finally boarded their plane, all trace of sleep gone from their eyes, they didn't once look behind.

They were crazy, but at least, they were together.

It was cold. Cold and incredibly white. Snowflakes were slowly transforming the once emerald landscape in a fragile winter wonderland. The snow's beauty was enough to hide the lifeless world hidden under its cover.

It was dangerous. Black ice turned the safest road into death's open arms, and made the strongest trees bent under its weight. It was the kind of weather that would make any sane soul stay in the warm comfort of their house rather than step outside. It chased away every living person off wandering outside.

And yet, a blue car was parked outside, as a young woman stepped out carefully, crossing the frozen deserted road until she reached the safe land.

It was hot as hell, Clarke thought, face hidden under her three scarves, and body protected by two coats and three shirts. She had always had a terrible intuition when it came to icy weather and the number of layers she needed in order to avoid becoming part of the ice sculpture competition going on in the streets. She always assumed that snow rhymed with cold, while in fact, if it was too cold, the sky remained forever cloudless.

She exhaled a steam of warm breath and took a sip from her still fuming paper cup full of hot chocolate. It was ten o'clock in the evening, but it felt like a thousand years had passed since the last time she'd had a restful night. She took a few steps forward and stood immobile, breathing in and out, sometimes looking ahead of her, sometimes glancing toward the universe and its wonders above.

It was so quiet she swore she could hear snow hitting the ground, and with the only light being her car's headlights, the scene looked magical, tiny shadows flying everywhere, mixing with their owners. Clarke almost felt like she was in a snowglobe.

Despite the smoky layer of clouds, she had no trouble noticing the sparkling white dots decorating the sky. It always remained the same, and yet her dad had taught her a long time ago that nothing remained in place, that she, too, moved along the Earth, at a speed higher than anything she could ever imagine.

It was on days like this one, envelopped in the arms of the quiet atmosphere, that she wished she could slow down a little, go at the speed she desired rather than being dragged forcefully by laws of time and gravity.

She chuckled at the silliness of this thought.

She couldn't slow down even if she wanted to. She had to keep her mind busy, to keep her body walking forward. She had to focus on something, always, to find a new interest, to challenge herself endlessly, or she'd find herself thinking about subjects that made her existence painfully raw.

She walked in tiny circle, looking behind her as she left traces in the fresh snow carpet. She loved the crispy sounds it made whenever she'd step on an untouched territory. She felt like she was in a movie, waiting for something to happen and disturb the silence. And just on clue, she heard another person approaching from behind.

"I should've known you'd be here."

Octavia's clear voice broke the stillness of the scene, and somehow, Clarke found herself grateful for the interruption. A little more, and she'd have started doodling ridiculous figures on the snow, like she always ended up doing anyway.

Clarke didn't turn around. She simply waited for Octavia to stand by her side. It was a ritual they had been doing for nine years already, since Clarke had accidently caught the Blake woman skinny dipping in her pool in the middle of the night. The Blake sibblings were known to have no boundaries, and Octavia had accepted a dare, thinking the Griffin family was out of town.

Clarke had stumbled on a very naked Octavia, and had stayed there a great amount of time, wide eyed, not believing what she was witnessing. It had taken Octavia herself to close Clarke's mouth to stop her from drooling. Clarke had never been more embarassed, but embarassing herself at a first meeting meant she could only do better in the future.

Since then, no matter the circumstances, Clarke always waited for Octavia to join her side, confirming that she was fully clothed. It was always the same, whether they were at school or at any social events. They had never grown to be physically close, never embracing each other or sharing the same personal space, but their friendship was made of steel.

"Raven sent me. She kept saying she looked everywhere and couldn't find you."

Clarke rolled her eyes and slightly bumped her shoulder with Octavia's.

"Raven doesn't look for anyone at this weather."

"What does that mean?"

Clarke smiled sadly at her friend's confusion.

"It means look around, O. There's ice on the ground, it's snowing, and I'm buried under many layers of clothes. Raven always knows where I am. She just didn't want to go outside."

"Someday I'll learn to stop trusting her."

Clarke nodded absentely. There was no doubt in her mind that Raven knew exactly her whereabouts. She was convinced her best friend knew exactly the why's and how's and what's of her. They had been through this day for the past two years, and it was always the same story. Raven stayed home and ate her weight in ice cream, while Clarke defied the weather and stayed out all night.

They were opposite in many things, but that one aspect was what made them inseparable. Today marked a bad day for the both of them, despite different reasons. They had been through Hades' territory together, and they had cheered each other's way up to the sky again. They had a bond no one could understand, not even Octavia.

They remained silent for a moment, Octavia knowing very well Clarke wouldn't enjoy small talk at this time of the day. Their sight travelled from the multiple naked trees surrounding them to their creepy shadows fluctuating as the moon's light went hiding itself behind the clouds.

"Don't let me stop you from doodling in the snow," Octavia finally said after a few minutes.

Clarke smiled at the playful tone. She couldn't help it. Ever since she had been tall enough to play in the snow, she had made it her artistic playground, tracing lines and creating all kind of magical patterns of her own imagination.

She had mastered the art of decorating cars' windows without anyone noticing her, and the path ahead of her house always introduced a new design to its visitors once fresh snow fell from the sky.

She leaned down and started drawing what seemed to be a rudimentary version of a spiral galaxy.

It soon bloomed to a whole world born from stardust, obscur mysteries and cosmic discoveries. Clarke had always been a gifted artist, on any possible canvas, using any material at her disposition, but she enjoyed nothing more than using the surrounding nature to bring her imagination to life.

She drew the whole universe the way she imagined it to be. The space she used was tiny, but she made sure to include all the weird surfaced at her disposition, each of them offered by the surrounding environment, by rocks and torn roots. Her drawing portrayed a peculiar puzzle waiting to be solved. Despite how random the direction and continuity of her lines seemed, it all secretly spelled a single name, and Octavia picked up on that.

Clarke's hidden messages in her art was nothing new, and whoever knew the blonde closely had been trained to seek and find them. It was a classified knowledge.

"How are you doing?"

Octavia had this power of knowing exactly when Clarke was done with her drawing, and therefore, when it was safe to start a conversation with a fully attentive woman.

"I'm good."

"Are you? Raven's worried."

"Again, Raven just said that so you would get out and look for me. She probably just wanted some time off too."

"Is there any time Raven doesn't twist her words to make me do something that I think is my idea at the first place?"

Clarke smiled like someone holding a malicious secret in the deepest part of her soul.

Was she good? There were many different answers to that question. Half of them could smooth Octavia's worried tone, and the other half could increase the newborn storm in the Blake woman's eyes.

Was she good?

She couldn't tell. Any other day of the year, her answer would've been an immediate yes, a confirmation that everything in her perfect life was exactly as everyone expected it to be : pefect. But today, tonight, there was no clear answer appearing in her mind. There was no yes or no, no right or wrong answer.

It felt like nothing was up to her anymore, nothing felt in her control anymore. There was nothing simple anymore, and everything she thought she knew transformed in a cryptic unreadable tale.

For the last two years, it had remained the same. At this time of the night, late in the evening, she was there, standing, sometimes in the snow, sometimes in the cold, sometimes both. Every year, she tried to figure out where her life went wrong, while Raven stayed inside the apartment they shared with Octavia.

Sometimes she broke down in tears, sometimes she didn't. Sometimes it felt like she was going to cry oceans, while other times, she was left with this excruciating feeling of being certain she was going to cry, but never being able to. And at those times, she felt incredibly lonely. This loneliness always kept her head down under a sea of feelings, all of them yelling at her that she would never be strong enough to heal.

There was no secret magic formula to get her out of this gloomed, somber atmosphere she was trapped in. It wasn't a feeling, it was... The way she was. It was her. Her entire being was made of atoms of melancholia and slight heaviness. She breathed, and she fed the beast. Turning it off would not work, because it'd mean she'd be turning her entire being off, and that, she could not do without gruesome consequences.

She was nostalia itself.

"We're not alone."

Clarke turned her head to the direction Octavia was pointing and nodded. There was another constant in these annual rituals, and it summed itself up in the presence of an unknown woman, always at the same distance from them. For the past two years, they'd seen her standing there, just like they did.

The woman seemed to be their age. She always came and went in silence. Not once had Clarke and Octavia seen her accompagnied by someone else. She always remained immobile until her phone would ring, calling her back to where she belonged to.

"I wonder what her story is," Octavia whispered.

"I think some stories should remain undiscovered," Clarke muttered.

"Like your drawing?"

Clarke shrugged. She was well aware that Octavia knew what hidden message was traced under the first layer of her art. The scene she had just drawn secretly displayed letters, all of which gravitating around to ultimately form the hidden name of the man she onced called her best friend. The letters were unperceiptable at first glance.

It was an ephemerous memorial for a painfully permanent reality.

They stayed there until they heard the distinct cellphone tones, and watched as the familiar stranger left the place. Only then did they gather their own thoughts and drove back from the cemetery to their apartment.

The moment they stepped in their shelter from the cold, Raven announced a plan to the three women, and a month later, Clarke and the mechanic student were packing their bags and heading to the airport.

Lexa stood in front of the grave for what seemed to be an eternity. She could hear the two other women's voices from where she stood, but could not decipher words. It didn't bother her. She didn't want to stay surrounded by the sole company of the sound of the wind. Echoes of voices kept her grounded to the planet, and she prefered them over fighting against her own inner words.

She had witnessed, last year, the blonde woman breaking down, crying loudly and doing nothing to dry the tears from her cheeks. Even from her distance, Lexa had been able to distinguish the beauty of this stranger from the ugly mask sponsored by sadness. She had almost gave in and walked to offer help, when the taller unknown brunette had finally joined the broken woman.

Her ritual visit to her lover's grave had always been marked by the slight expectation of finding the duo already there, as if it was the only acceptable scene to her.

As soon as she confirmed their presence, she would walk and stand in front of the tombstone, tracing the engraved letters with her fingers. The muffled voices reminded her she was not alone, and consequently, helped her to keep her posture calm. Not being alone meant she needed to avoid falling apart.

It wasn't safe to show weakness to strangers.

She always would dream of a different outcome for the current situation, until the moment her cellphone would ring. Only then would she shake the despair off her body, and go back to her busy professional life.

She had no more time to spare for feelings, not anymore. One hour of her life, every year, that was it.

Anya would call, and every overwhelming sorrow she would feel would leave her soul.

It needed to.

Tonight, she had asked Anya to wait a bit longer before calling her. She wished to stay for as long as she could, because it was the last time she would come here for a few years, she'd decided.

Tomorrow, she would be leaving this city. She could not bear the weight of her constant loss all the time.

She could not walk in front of the same familiar buildings alone, when she had been fooling around them so many times before, with great company.

She could not see familiar faces and remind herself that they were not Costia, that they were not the one person she would trade her life for.

Not anymore.

Tomorrow, she would leave, and she would spend as much time away as possible.

"You're late."

"Nice to see you too, it's only been a month since you gave your last sign of life to your best friend," Anya deapanned at Lexa's lack of enthusiam.

"A best friend wouldn't be late to pick up her best friend from the airport after so much time."

Anya rolled her eyes and embraced the shortest woman. She had missed Lexa a lot more than she had thought she would.

Only a month in, and Lexa already returned from her supposed long term trip. Anya knew though, that her friend would be staying only a week before heading back into the wild. The simple fact that Lexa returned today was due to a work emergency that couldn't be solved without her.

It wasn't to visit Anya. It was work. Had it not been work, Lexa would still be gone, and Anya would still be waiting for news.

The thought made Anya sadder than she expected.

"I'm sorry," Anya apologized. "My cab took more time than I thought. I ran for my life, because I knew you'd throw me your deathly glance if I were late, but then I bumped into some crazy girl saying she'd lose her leg or something."

Lexa shook her head in disbelief. She knew Anya could invent lame excuses, but the last part didn't sound right.

She repositioned her bag on her shoulders and started walking toward the exit of the arrivals area. She hated that she was already back here, but that feeling was weak compared to how relieved she was to find Anya in a good mood. She had been scared that her improptuous departure would've been too much on their friendship, which had already became fragile after their loss.

"How was your trip to random little cities?" Anya asked as they waited for a taxi. "Also I'm sorry, I already rented your room to someone. I didn't think you'd be back so soon."

"I was not in random little cities, I've been hiking. You know I always get my energy amongst trees, just like you know I did not have access to the Internet those days."

"I could have gone with you."

A small silence grew between them, quickly dismissed when Anya added :

"I know you needed to be alone. I just, I could have."

"I'm going to New York after I'm done with this business problem," Lexa said. "I won't stay long."

"You hate big cities."

"There's a lot of things I hate that I had to deal with. I'm going to New York."

Anya nodded at the sharp tone, knowing there was no point in arguing with her friend.

Lexa had always had a hard time dealing with emotionally loaded conversations, and it had only worsened since the incident. There were many things Anya would do to help her friend, but forcing her into doing things she loathed was not one of them.

"Come on. I made sure to stock the fridge with all your favorite food. We're not sleeping tonight, I got tons of movies. Those boring documentaries and historical movies you enjoy."

They had met during high school, after being forced together in a team. Both girls had argued with the teacher that they did not know each other well, but that they were sure they wouldn't get along, They kept repeating that they both opposed to the idea of working on the same project together. Both girls had insisted as much as they could, but the teacher had promised them something good would come out of it.

Coincidently, they both hated this class, and the teacher that came along with it. They both had rolled their eyes excessively.

Suspicious, they had worked together. The whole time, Anya mostly did what Lexa ordered. They both just wanted to be done as fast as possible.

A few weeks later, they were inseparable. and ten years later, they had yet to find the teacher to thank him for insisting so much.

Anya had stayed by Lexa's side from the very beginning of her relationship with Costia, to the very end, against all odds, through health and sickness, through good times and bad times, through everything that sounded like they'd secretly all been married to each other.

Anya was the only person beside Costia who had ever seen Lexa falling apart in the middle of the night.

She was now the only person left who knew how to fix it.

When Costia had finally offered her last breath to this life, they both had gone through all existing stages of loss, and they both had dragged the other through more wicked ones. Only Anya had made it out alive.

Changed, definitely, but alive.

It had been very different for Lexa.

She was changed, but she hadn't survived the blow, not quite. She became a ghost of the person she used to be, always repeating nonsense scenarios in her head, alternative endings and imaginary miracles.

She clinged to a memory more than real life, and refused to let it go, refused to let it disappear because she was terrified of forgetting it.

Lexa knew she had lost a part of her somewhere along the way. She didn't feel alive anymore, and it had taken her a long time to realize that she wanted nothing more than to live, rather than survive.

It hadn't been too hard to realize, it had simply been incredibly challenging to accept.

She had claimed the only way to find herself again was to leave this town. This city was cursed, and the remedy lurked elsewhere. So she had left in a quest of a familiar self.

Alone.

The only reason she was back already was work. Then she would leave again.

Alone.

And it's a go for a new story!

it will focus mainly on Clarke and Raven's POV in the first chapters, and Lexa will gradually take more importance.

Apologies for the mistakes, English isn't my first language.

Spoilers alert: more angst to come.

Ideas or travel anecdotes? - McEvilQueen on twitter or here