Disclaimer: Sigh. How many times do I have to say this…? I do not own Harry Potter. Though, I do own J.K. Rowling… She's my slave! No, just kidding.
Warning: Again, this is slash. Boy and boy. Sirius and Remus. Don't like it, don't read it, so you don't waste fifteen minutes of your life.
A/N: I'm a bit addicted to Remmy and Paddy… Did you notice? I hope you enjoy, for I enjoyed writing this!
A tall boy with soft, brown hair tossed around in his bed and sighed. This was the sixteenth night on a row he couldn't catch sleep. His thoughts always went crazy in the night, thinking about things he actually wasn't permitted to think about. Or rather, people. In specific one boy. His best friend, Sirius Black. And in his dreams… Well, they were doing things friends don't exactly do. Things that made him shiver and shudder with anticipation, but he liked it. In fact, he liked it very much indeed. Because the truth was, that somehow he had fallen in love with the Animagus. It was just… The way he smiled at him. The way his hair fell in his eyes. The way he walked, the way he talked and even the way he ate or slept. Everything was special and beautiful about him and no one could ever change his mind about that. Especially not in his dreams…
Not so far away, the black-haired boy named Sirius Black, couldn't sleep either. He was coping with the same dreams and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. There were some angels painted on it in the nicest colours he could think of. Pastel blue, soft purple and light yellow. In the soft light of the lanterns outside, the painted wings glowed golden. Like they were lit, ready to take Sirius to heaven. But he was already in heaven. Every time Remus Lupin walked by, he felt like he had gotten wings too, and Remus was the golden angel. Well, at least his eyes were made of gold. Pure gold. They shone bright, like some sprinkling stars. Falling stars, ready to take him to a better place where his wishes would come true. Sirius always hoped his own eyes could somehow ever become the deep, blue pool of heaven in which the stars swam.
Remus sat up straight in his bed when he suddenly heard something knocking on his window. Who the hell would ever dare disturb a werewolf-boy like him when he was thinking about the nicest things – in this case Sirius Black – and trying to catch some sleep? He rubbed his eyes and growled when there sounded another knock on the glass. Finally, after three more knocks, Remus decided the thing on his windowpane had won and he got up to walk towards his window. Through the thick glass, Remus could single out a small form in the night. He frowned when he realised it was a creamy brown owl with a letter on its foot and opened his window. The owl immediately flew into the warmth of Remus' bedroom and banished the cold by shaking out its feathers. It dropped the envelop in the middle of the room.
Sirius smiled when his owl returned to its master with a new letter around its foot. So Remus did answer letters in the middle of the night. Excited, he snatched the letter away from his owl, which made a disapproving noise, and opened it after he had flopped on his stomach on his bed. 'Dear Padfoot,' he read aloud in a soft whisper. 'I'm glad to let you know I'm still alive and kicking. I just wasn't at the right place anymore to respond to your many, pouting letters.' Sirius' face flushed slightly. Perhaps it hadn't been that smart of him to send sixteen owls to the hotel Remus had been staying during his days off with his parents, only to come to the conclusion the werewolf and his family had left for home three days earlier than the arrival of the owls. 'I just don't understand why you sent this one in the middle of the night.' Sirius bit his bottom lip and looked away.
Remus' smile never faltered when he read Sirius' first letter again. 'Hi there, Moony. Because it seemed like ages ago I spoke to you, I thought: let me write you another letter!' Remus smirked. Ages ago… It had actually been two weeks. But he couldn't blame Sirius: even he himself thought two weeks were too long. Especially since Remus loved to see Sirius every day. Studying him had become quite an interesting pastime at Hogwarts, but now with the summer vacation... 'I was a bit disappointed when you didn't answer my letters at first, but of course I hadn't heard the reason by then. That's why I hope you will answer this one, so I know you're still alive and I won't have this feeling again. But yeah, you know I can never really be disappointed in you. Love, Padfoot.' Remus blushed and the same owl entered his room again with a second letter.
Sirius walked through his room. He somehow wished Remus hadn't answered his letter. Then he never would've asked why he had sent it during the night and he, Sirius, never would've answered the silliest thing he could ever think of in his life. 'I needed to hear something from you, Moony. I don't exactly know why. At least, I think I don't. It's just something… Strange. You see, I have the weirdest dreams lately. You'll probably think now that dreams are always pretty odd, but these dreams… They're about us. You and me. And they're about us in the wrong way. I don't feel friendship for you in them, but… Something completely else. It started sixteen days ago, when we said goodbye at Platform 9 ¾ and when I hugged you. Since that night I've had those dreams about how we… Love each other.'
Remus' mouth dropped when he read Sirius' last sentence. Did he read that right? No, it was probably his imagination that went crazy. Or it was the lack of rest and sleep that finally overpowered him. He read the phrase again, but the same words were written on the white piece of parchment. 'Since that night I've had those dreams about how we… Love each other.' The parchment couldn't be telling the truth. Sirius couldn't be telling the truth. Remus kept staring at the letter. Oh God, this was just… Wrong! No, this was totally wrong. He sighed. What should he tell Sirius? That dreams were just dreams, and that he probably didn't love him in real life? Or that he first should find out if he was truly in love with him, before writing another letter? Or perhaps that he should come over to talk about it? No. Impossible.
So it wasn't a surprise when Sirius didn't get a letter back.