A/N: Another Forever oneshot! This one chronologically falls between Forever In My Heart and Forever My Safe Haven. Haven is 8, and Henry is 14.
Also, this is inspired by an episode of Outnumbered, which I am considering writing fic for.
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.
"Daddy?"
Looking up from the paper he was perusing, William LaMontagne found himself looking into the eyes of his eight year old, who was looking at him curiously from the end of the kitchen counter.
"Yeah, peanut?"
"What's a colonosocopy?"
Will grinned as Henry looked up from his homework in confusion. "A colonoscopy? It's where a doctor uses a special camera to look at your insides"
Haven's eyebrows rose. "But-but how do they get the camera into your insides? Are there like...tiny midget people who work the camera?"
"Don't be stupid, Haven," Henry groaned.
"No, Haven, there's no tiny midget people. It's just a tiny little camera that takes pictures of your insides," Will explained, hoping to avoid her question for as long as possible. Unfortunately for him, his daughter was much quicker than he gave her credit for.
"But how do they put the camera in your insides?"
Sighing, Will put the paper down. "Well, Haven...they put it...up your bottom"
Haven shrieked, just as quickly dissolving into giggles. "That's silly!"
Will laughed. "I guess it is"
"Do they look for problems with your bottom?"
Dragging a hand down his face, Will let out a quiet groan. The questions were never going to end.
"Sometimes...but they also look at your intestines," he explained as patiently as he could.
"Sometimes they look for cancer, right?" Haven asked.
Will's eyebrows rose.
"Haven, don't-" Henry started, clearly uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed.
"But Henry, it's true! Sometimes your intestinals have cancer!" Haven shrieked in her little voice.
Will nodded. "That's right, Haven"
"Don't say that, Haven," Henry sighed.
"What, cancer?" Haven asked. Henry nodded, making Haven grin evilly.
"Cancer, cancer, cancer," she chanted, knowing just how to get under her brother's skin.
"Shut up, Haven!"
"Daddy's having a camera put up-"
"Haven, stop!"
"-to look for cancer"
"Haven!"
"Henry," Will said softly. "It's alright. It's a perfectly normal procedure"
"It's looking for CANCER"
Will barely had time to register Haven's words before Henry had gone diving for his sister; taking her down to the floor as they both started attempting to hit and kick each other.
"Hey! HEY!" Will yelled above the rising din, grabbing Henry and pulling him off of Haven. "Stop it right now!"
Henry finally relented, allowing his father to tug him back as Haven got to her feet.
"You can't just go for your sister like that. I know she likes to drive you mad, but you can't dive tackle her," Will scolded.
"I don't like her saying that," Henry mumbled, his eyes on the floor.
Turning to his daughter, Will knelt down in front of her.
"Haven, sweetie...I'm very glad that you're not afraid to say the word cancer, because we don't want to be scared of a word, do we?"
Haven shook her head.
"But saying it like that can make some people sad, and we don't want to make people sad, do we?"
"No, Daddy," Haven replied softly.
"Why don't you say sorry to your brother and then go annoy your momma for a while?"
"Sorry Henry," Haven said quietly, her dark eyes flicking up to meet Henry's.
"It's ok," Henry mumbled.
Moments later, Haven spun on her heel, running out of the room in search of her mother.
Turning back to his son, Will studied him curiously. Henry looked completely forlorn, staring miserably at the floor as he stood rooted to the spot.
"That got you really upset," he said softly, making Henry look up. "Why did that upset you so much? I'm not sick. It's just a standard procedure"
Henry swallowed thickly, sidling over to the bar stool he had leapt from minutes earlier.
"Jake's dad...he has bowel cancer...he found out from a routine colonoscopy"
Will sighed, walking around to the other side of the counter.
"Henry...I'm not sick. Bowel cancer and other cancers of the digestive tract have a lot of symptoms, lots of which I haven't had. It's just a routine check-up. At my age, they just check you out every year or so to make sure everything is in working order. It's nothing to worry about, ok?"
Henry nodded numbly, refusing to open his mouth.
Moving back around the counter, Will wrapped his arms around Henry. The second Henry leaned into the hug and buried his face in his dad's chest, Will knew that he was consumed with worry.
"It's alright, Henry. It's ok"
Running up the stairs as loudly as she could manage, Haven sprinted through the open doorway of her parents' bedroom, where her mom was sitting on the bed folding laundry.
Taking a flying leap, she jumped up onto the bed, landing smack bang in the middle of the folded laundry.
"Haven!" JJ exclaimed. "I just folded that, you little monkey!"
Haven giggled, flashing her mom a toothy grin as she haphazardly tried to replace the clothes she'd knocked over. "Sorry Momma"
JJ raised an eyebrow. "You better be, squirt"
"Mommy, did you know," Haven started, dissolving into giggles, "that Daddy is having a camera put in his bottom?"
Her matter-of-fact tone was just what JJ needed to start laughing.
"Yes, baby girl, I did know that, but we aren't going to go around telling everyone, are we?" she said, trying to keep her face as serious as possible.
Haven shook her head. "I cross my heart and hope to not die," she replied seriously.
JJ laughed. "You're a silly sausage"
Haven giggled, pointing a finger at her mom. "No YOU'RE a silly sausage, you silly sausage!"
Reaching out, JJ grasped Haven's sides, tickling her little girl as they both collapsed amongst the laundry. Haven squealed, trying to push her mom away as she giggled uncontrollably.
"Momma! Momma...st...op!" she shrieked through her laughter.
"You know the rules!" JJ teased, tickling under Haven's arms, where she knew her child was especially ticklish.
"U...ncle!" Haven squealed, making her mom give in.
With one last breathy laugh, Haven collapsed on top of her mom, little giggles escaping every so often.
"You're a potato"
JJ burst out laughing. "What?!"
Haven lifted her face, grinning cheekily at her mom. "You are a potato. And Henry is a potato. And Daddy is a potato. And Uncle Morgan is a potato-"
JJ laughed, scooping Haven up as she pulled herself to her feet. "You are a very silly little girl"
"You're not just a potato, Momma, you're a sweet potato!"
JJ grinned, kissing Haven's cheek. "I guess I'll pass that as a compliment"
"Let's go ask Daddy about his butt camera"
Snorting, JJ shook her head.
"How about we don't do that?"