This story was a fanfiction challenge based on Kodaline's song "Everything works out in the end", be gentle it's my first time writing about Stucky, they are so precious I was afraid to write them but thought I'd give it a shot.

I never seen it coming
I couldn't read the signs
Now I know that it means nothing
but you are always on my mind

In a dusty cramped apartment Bucky dragged his weary body through the door, cigarettes still heavy on his breath, groaning he pulled off his jacket hearing the unhealthy sound of his shoulder clicking behind him.
"Shit."
"You okay Buck?" Steve's peered at him through one eye his voice riddled with sleep, attempting to push the blankets away that were tangled around his whole body.
"Hey don't get up, Stevie I'm fine."
Of course he didn't listen, never does.
With his small, nimble fingers he gently tugged the jacket from his other arm, giving him a tired smile over his shoulder he heavily padded across to fall in a heap on the bed.
His lids half closing already, "You still feeling sick?"
"I'm not too bad."
"Is that actually true." He grinned boldly draping one arm behind him.
"Buck I'm fine. Work that bad?"
Bucky tried to hide his wince but Steve was too quick not to notice. His eyes cramping up with worry he propelled himself forward, "What is it?" the worry in his voice nearly made him smirk.
"Nothing. Just some of the guys beat on some poor kid today and…"
Steve waited his eyes narrowing with anger, his hands curling into fists. He smiled to himself, for a little guy he'd more fight in him than most, more fight in him than he had.
"It was bad."
He tried to shake the memory from his head, things weren't easy for anyone lately, no point wallowing in self-pity but god he wanted to.
Lost in his own thoughts he didn't even register that Steve was still standing up, picking at some holes in his tattered jeans, looking nervously at him, Steve didn't do nervous, he'd seen him taking on men that were as tall as houses and not even hesitate.
"Buck." He said softly as he made himself sit up, Steve warily sat beside him bumping his shoulder against him and he could almost hear his heartbeat thudding, panicking in his chest.
Steve's unsure hand reached out to give the top of his hand a quick squeeze, they'd been best friends forever and were closer than most so this wasn't unusual but he was sure acting like it was.
He didn't know why he was being so weird, they were always pretty touchy feely with each other, be it if they were hurling playful fists at one another or staying at each other's bedside when they got sick.
His skin felt feverish over his, "You okay?" his brow furrowing with concern, "Feel alright?"
"Yeah," he laughed his voice quivering, "Buck…"
"Mhmm."
He sat waiting as Steve's eyes nervously darted across his face, his insides constricting tighter around his chest, was he sick? Was something seriously wrong? He couldn't lose Steve, he couldn't.
"What is it?" his voice much sharper than before.
He didn't look at him, he inhaled a deep breath reaching out a shaky hand brushing a strand of his unkempt, strands of his hair from his forehead, his hand lingering longer than it should.
Afraid to move, afraid to breathe he cautiously looked at him for some sort of answer but Steve looked lost, his eyes swept across his lips and he tensed.
"Steve…"
His hooked one of his fingers under his chin, his skin hot to the touch as it usually was but he felt his blood run cold, no he couldn't possibly think like that about him, no that was ridiculous.
Inhaling sharply he captured his lips with his own, shuddering underneath him, he was completely unresponsive, stilled into shock.
His lips grew more desperate kissing him harder, tugging against him and swore he heard him whimper a sad cry, this meant something big to him if he kissed him, he'd never kissed no one before unlike him, who'd kissed more people than he could count.
Bracing one hand against his chest he gently pushed him backwards, watching the hurt flash across Steve's eyes cutting deeper than he thought possible.
His eyes dropping to the ground he curled himself up, shoulders slouching, angling himself away from him and he hated the churning in his stomach that was eating him up.
He didn't want to hurt Steve like this.
"Steve." He started but he was cut off by angry tears that stormed his eyes as his head whirled up to him.
"What. You think there's something wrong with me now? That it Buck?"
"No." he quickly retorted reaching for his hand but he was already on his feet, running from him and he couldn't let that happen.
"I'm not gonna look at you any different, it's me Steve. You know I never do as I'm told." He tried to give his a playful smirk hoping he'd grin back at him but he crossed his arms against his chest pulling tight.
"Hey punk. You gonna look at me?"
With a little more light in his eyes he gave him a weary smile, crossing the room to him he put one strong hand on his shoulder jostling his small frame.
"Buddy its good. Were good." Dropping his hand quicker than intended as he felt Steve start to tense underneath his hand, "Now not that you ain't pretty to look at but I promised some dames some quality time." He winked grinning cockily as he reached for his jacket once more, tryna not see how Steve's face paled.
"Jerk." He barely heard him as he stepped outside the cold air whipping through his face, falling against the hand rail, he curled his hands desperately around them.
Steve could've got himself in deep trouble if anyone heard about that.

The kid the guys beat on couldn't of been more than fifteen, he reminded him of Steve with his slight frame, wide fiery eyes, heaving dryly he bent down, hands on his knees.
He had just finished a hard day on the docks talking shit to each other, loudly with their cocky bellowing voices they'd turned the corner to find some small kid kissing some other guy they'd seen around the docks a couple of times, who nearly keeled over at the sight of them.
They'd been pressed tight against one of the containers hiding in the shadows, he heard shit all the time he wasn't surprised, wasn't none of his business but the guys he was with was more old fashioned.
Burly guys who thought more with their fists than their hearts, he watched as their eyes narrowed angrily at them and one of them grabbed one by the collar pulling him backwards.
"Get off me!" he roared his sharp voice clipping his ears.
His friends knees buckled, whimpering he tried to hide his face against the container, he looked as if he was about to faint.
His heart lurched as Jerry one of the guys stepped towards him, he jumped forward grabbing him by the neck and shoving him to the ground holding him there.
He thrashed underneath him like a wild animal, his voice thick and heavy "Get off, you queer to."
"Go on get out of here." He urged the kid who was running just as soon as the words left his lips, only throwing one look at his friend who was being held against the wall by one guy and taking heavy fists to the stomach.
Letting him go he pulled at their shoulders tryna rip the fist that was aiming for his face away, the boy didn't shrink or beg he kept kicking out at them, hurtling abuse at them and he woulda grinned if not for his blood turning to ice in his veins.
"Man. Stop. Stop. He's just a kid." He could hear his own desperation, if they turned on him he couldn't handle all these guys on his own.
"You queer?" they growled turning to face him, looking for a fight, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth.
"You know I'm not. There just kids, leave him."
"It's sick. You want boys like this tryna suck your kids dick when you get them." They spat at the boy, it was slick and dirty across his face.
"No." he pushed the guys back stepping closer to the boy "I'll deal with it." He assured them ushering them forward, they stepped forward unsurely, still not believing him.
Stepping back on his heels his threw his weight into his punch, with a sickening crunch it collided with him, spurting with blood.
The kid rocked, dazed bracing one hand, he look betrayed as he watched him.
The guys laughed amused patting his shoulder proudly, "Good going Buck. See you tomorrow."
"See you." His voice barely a whisper.
Reaching out to check his nose, he slapped his hand away snarling at him not even bothering to wipe the spit off his scarred face.
"Get off me."
"Those guys they were gonna kill you. I was tryna help."
"Let them." He snapped pushing him backwards he started to stagger into the darkness, his whole body shaking with anger not fear.
"Be more careful." He shouted after him.
"I shouldn't have to. Let them come after me." He spat back more at the world than at him.
Poor kid. He needed to get back to check on Steve, walking slower than normal, Jerry must've got some kicks in cause his whole body was throbbing.

With dames pulling out of his shoulder doing whatever he wanted them to do, it was normally a great time but tonight his mind was being pulled to Steve.
"Hey Buck. What's wrong with you?" she patted his cheek her legs still straddling him in the back of the bar where no one could see them, grinding against him.
Her hand became annoying on his cheek was she always this grabby, he pushed her off him chugging back some more beer with the little money he had but he needed it.
"Asshole." She spat turning on her heels.
"Hearing that a lot lately." He smirked really driving her crazy, he had enough of this.
Scraping his chair back, he gave a wave to the bartender who shook his head half in disapproval, half in amusement, he wouldn't ever give over about Bucky's escapades with women.
"One woman for me and that's my wife. You should think about that." He'd say, his whole face lighting up as his tongue dragged over the word wife.
"I hear you. Process of elimination can't hurt." He'd smirk back, which would really send him over the edge.
The feeling of dread in his chest wasn't something he was used to as his stumbling hands missed the keyhole for the third time.
"Goddam it." He mumbled nearly cheering when the door swung open revealing a very annoyed looking Steve.
"Stevie. What would I do without you." He said cheerily patting his shoulder as he started to hurriedly pull of his clothes feeling the beer start to dull some senses.
He knew he wasn't happy he could feel the tension rolling off his body in waves but maybe if he just didn't acknowledge it, it might go away.
Ripping the shirt over his head, he forgot what the hell happened between them, catching Steve's wary eyes looking at him in a way that had him shifting under his gaze.
His hand stopping on his belt, he hated himself for saying it.
"I'll sleep on the floor. It's okay. Your still look sick, if I can't work both of us are screwed."
Tryna make it lighter but he turned away from him, he could tell by the coiled muscles on his back he was angry.
"Night Steve." He tried, the silence etched on, he wasn't gonna answer.
"Night Buck." He said finally and he breathed a sigh of relief.
They were gonna be okay. Nothing could separate them and then he got his orders, seems something could.

Steve fell over his feet tryna go after him. "Wait Buck."
Smirking he paused his hand over the door knob, "Buddy."
"Come back alright. Make sure you do."
His eyes drowned in sorrow, Steve's hands holding one another he squared his shoulders against him, "You'd kick my ass if I didn't."
Caught in a smile, they both lingered happily in the silence.
"I need ye to do something for me Buck."
"Something else. Don't I do enough." He retorted playfully.
Steve stared him down making him compliant, "Alright."
"Just stand there and let me do this."
He didn't know what he was expecting but it wasn't this.
Steve was determined his steps didn't falter as he grabbed him attacking his lips, in surprise he caught his breath in his throat, his kiss was willing him to come back to him.
Kissing the corner of his mouth he gasped in surprise as Steve's hands curled into his hair, tugging on it sharply, tucking himself in closer to him.
He had no shame, it instilled more fear for him he was just like that kid, he needed him not to feel like this for him.
Tentatively he swept his tongue along his lower lip, he wasn't ready for something like that he tried to stop the groan before it passed his lips but it was already out and causing damage.
Instilling more confidence in Steve he grazed his lip with his teeth smiling against him as his hands betrayed him and his hands dug into Steve's waist, yanking him closer.
Opening his mouth to kiss him back, he felt Steve's smile grow wider and his hungry eyes lit up but he snapped himself awake.
What the hell was he doing? Dropping his hands from his waist, he went slack underneath him, getting the message Steve stumbled backwards.
His own lips were swollen and puffy after Steve practically devouring him, as if following his train of thought Steve's hands went to his own barely touched lips and he sighed.
"Thanks Buck." It was quiet much more than he could deal with it.
"Come here punk." He pulled him into his arms hugging him tightly against his chest, Steve clung to him just as hard.
Stumbling back he managed to pull himself away giving him one of his easy smiles to put him at rest, even though his heart was dropping as he left Steve behind.
"The army doesn't know how lucky they are, getting someone like me."
"Sure are."

There was nothing like the sounds of a sobbing mother, sobs that wracked her whole body, chest rattling unhealthily.
That was what Bucky was faced with the moment he left Steve, her hands grappling with the air for anything to hold on to.
Eventually she found his sleeve her round face dry with sticky tears, "My son," she started before beginning to blubber.
"Hey it's okay." He took her hand giving it a comforting a squeeze.
"No. He's missing." She cried hiding her face in his chest.
"Do you have a picture, Ma'am maybe I've seen him." She perked up her brown wild eyes hopeful.
Rooting through her pockets she pulled out a very tattered, loved picture, the corners curled and faded. His heart clenched sadly until he recognised the kid, the kid from the other night, all he could see was Steve's face flashing in front of him.
He couldn't hide how pale and frightened he looked, she gripped him tighter, "What is it?"
"Eh, nothing, nothing, I saw him down the docks about a month ago, he was with a kid."
"Max. That's Max." she rushed but seeing his small sad smile she realised he didn't know anymore, he couldn't help her.
Relinquishing her hold of him she sleepily stepped backwards.
"Ma'am I'd love to help you but I actually have to go…"
Actually seeing him she held her hand to her mouth embarrassed, "Oh you're in uniform!"
He nodded, unsure of what else he could do.
"Don't you look handsome." She mumbled half crying, half smiling.
"Do you want me to help you home, is there someone I can get for you?"
"There's no one." Her admission was quiet but definite.
"You're a good boy." She squeezed his arm, "I'll manage. You be careful over there, I'm sure you've people here who love you."
"Yes Ma'am." He smiled and he couldn't help but try instil some hope.
"I'm sure he's okay, with an excellent mother like you how can he not be."
She let out a genuine laugh it was short but it allowed him to smile back.
"Don't put those charms to bad use," she scolded wiggling her finger at him.
"Might be too late." He called to her retreating figure, she stumbled lost through the crowd.
Looking like she a hen that fell into a foxes den she was swept in a wave and carried away.
People like that was what he was fighting for, "Be careful Stevie." He murmured to nobody

I got tricked into believing
You were the only one for me

Buck would laugh if he could see him now. The star spangled man. What a joke. He almost rather the days when he was cornered in the ally fighting bullies, at least he was doing it for him and not some man in a suit.
The good thing was he wasn't sick and frail looking anymore never would be again and he'd finally found a dame that actually interested him. Peggy.
Buck would be proud, maybe a little glad he was crushing on her rather than him all the time, he knew how uncomfortable it made him but he couldn't pretend to not love him.
He swore he thought Bucky liked when he kissed him the day he was leaving but as soon as he thought he won, he was gone brushing it off with one of his smiles that he couldn't help but smile back at him.
He was tempted to sketch Bucky's face but he was afraid if he did he might forget lines of his face he'd gotten to know so well, he'd see him soon and he could sketch him for sure soon.
Peggy didn't know what news she was delivering until he was throwing himself into a car, his eyes a lit with fire and shaking with fear. The 107th, some killed some kidnapped, where Bucky was, he couldn't do this to him, he promised.
Bucky. He couldn't lose him. He knew he was still alive he'd feel it if he was gone and he didn't feel anything except worry lacing up his insides being pulled tighter and tighter each moment he stayed doing nothing.
Peggy understood, of course. She was a great dame and he couldn't wait for Buck to meet her, they'd either get on like a house on fire or not at all. He couldn't wait.
Hurtling himself out of a plane was only a small amount of what he would do for him, storming the building he refused to be beaten not when everyone needed him.
He could help, for once.
His insides knotted when the men told him they'd took Bucky into the back, Hydra, god knows what they'd been doing to him. He shoulda been there.
Seeing Bucky tied down to the table incoherent words tumbling out of his mouth, his heart nearly fell out his mouth but he didn't have time for that.
"Buck."
"Steve."
He came undone at the sound of his name leaving his lips, Bucky was here, he'd found him he could finally breathe again.

Flames crackling around the group of staggeringly tired soldiers, most nodding off into a heavy sleep that if you stomped on them they wouldn't notice.
"You just jumped, like it was nothing. Over flames." His eyes were wide an amazed chuckle slipping out his hands strewn across his knees.
"They really did a number on you."
Steve couldn't help but stare he didn't realise how long until Bucky was waving a hand across his face, laughing at him.
"Steve? You there. They didn't take your brain when they did whatever they did."
"Shut up." He smiled hitting him on the shoulder and Bucky was left sloshing in the muck staring at him with an incredulous expression.
"Shit. I forgot my strength, sorry Buck."
"Great. Am I gonna have to deal with you kicking my ass now?"
Smiling smugly he nodded, even though Bucky was smiling he saw the shadow over his eyes and how when he sat in silence he seemed to be smothering in it.
"You okay?"
"I used to ask you that." He said sadly gazing at him in wonder.
"Buck."
"I'm fine. Getting kidnapped it's exhausting." He strained a laugh.
"Is that actually true." He retorted copying his old words.
The side of his lip quirking into a sort of smile, he was worried. Bucky wasn't okay but trying to pry those words out of him was almost impossible.
"Find anybody nice while you've been off playing Captain America."
Flushing wildly ducking his face, Bucky peered at him intrigued, "Do tell."
"Peggy. She's…"
Trying to search for the right way to describe her was useless he'd understand when he met her, but that wasn't why he stopped something about the way Bucky's face twisted made him stop.
"You'll meet her." He finished lamely.
"I'm glad." The words were honest but shaky.
"You okay?"
"Just tired. Think I'm gonna sleep, not all of us are super soldiers who can get by on nothing."
"Okay."
Picking himself up Bucky moved himself away from him, getting up to sleep beside Dum Dum and they boys, his new crew, Bucky always made friends.
It was hard to not let jealousy eat at him.
Left worrying and alone, he stared after Bucky.

It felt like the old days, sitting in the bar with the newly formed Howling Commandos, he smiled at Bucky's easy laugh, he looked better.
"Steve the ladies man." Dum, Dum went to hold up his beer for a cheers but thankfully Buck stopped him grabbing his wrist before he could start.
Blushing he ducked his head, "Ladies man, Steve. Look at him blushing like a little schoolgirl." Bucky teased pointing towards his reddening cheeks, "Man doesn't have a smooth bone in his body."
"We can't all be you."
"No we can't." he stated proudly.
Intrigued Morita leaned forward, "What do you mean? Bucky was a ladies man?"
"Different women nearly every night. He's something of a charmer."
Unlike how he would fidget uncomfortably under all this attention Bucky revelled in it, the boys jeered at his successes.
"Steve only wants the one."
"I want the right one." He corrected eyeing Bucky much longer than he realised.
Coughing he reached for his drink, even though he wasn't getting drunk anytime soon.
"I think I'd prefer life experience." Bucky winked grabbing Dum, Dum's shoulder and shaking him.
Jeering once again, Steve shook his head. "Grandpa disapproves." Gabe laughed.
"Barnes we can't all pick them up as we choose. Once we got them we gotta hold on otherwise we mightn't find anyone else for a couple of years or for others decades." Morita's eyes flicked to Dum, Dum and everyone readily followed his gaze.
A stream of objecting curse words left his lips, "Hey don't you'll upset Steve." Bucky warned teasingly, punching him as hard as he can without breaking his arm was the kindest thing he could offer.
"I'll have you know, I have a wife." Dum, Dum stated sternly banging his glass on the already rocky wooden table.
"I'm sure you do. So Dum, Dum how much did she cost?"
A chorus of bellowing laughter nearly lifted the table off the ground, Dum Dum raged with insults his face burning red from drink and irritation.
People popped their heads up from their table staring at them a little enviously, "Barnes you shit." Dum, Dum shooting him a glare stumbled upwards to get another drink.
Steve caught Bucky's eye and they knew what each other was thinking, they missed this.

But the truth can be deceiving
and I was just too young to see

He felt something swimming through his veins that wasn't before, something was different with him. What the hell did they do to him?
Alone in the bar his only company a beer, he look at his offending hands trying push out his own pathetic screams out of his head that echoed through the compound for all the men to hear.
That was how Peggy found him. She was beautiful, someone he would've probably swooped in with if it wasn't for Steve but there was an air of tension that covered every look and word that transpired between them, turning everything stale.
He nearly groaned as she pulled a seat out beside him.
"Sergeant Barnes. Where's the rest of your misfit crew?"
"Babies needed time to recuperate." He quipped back gulping down another beer for something to do but look at her, she looked at him like he knew something he didn't, he hated it.
"Not you." Her tone curious she swept her eyes across his face.
Turning ever so slightly away from her, "No." he smiled.
"Where's Steve thought you'd two be attached at the hip, now that he's got you back. He thinks very highly of you."
"Well if he didn't after all this time, I think I'd have to be offended."
"Hey. There you are." Steve slapped a hand on his shoulder, smiling broadly at him, too strong for his own good he nearly rocked him off his stool.
"Yeah." He finished lamely.
"You okay?"
If he had to hear that one more time from anybody he was gonna end up strangling somebody, nodding he started to climb to his feet, the drink making him dizzy for a second, he must've drank more than he thought.
"Where you going?"
"I'm not being a third wheel. A ladies man like me." He grinned but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Oh but it was okay to have me as a third wheel for years."
"Okay I always got you dates, you were just never interested." He gaped mocking offense he slapped his hand down onto the counter, finally making his feet walk away from Steve.
"I wanted the right person." He thought Steve would be gazing adoringly at Peggy making it hard for him to breathe but he wasn't he was talking to him, that was worse.
"Now you have her." He supplied fleeing and that was what he was doing running.
With his quick fingers he grabbed a bottle of something from behind the counter just as he got to the door, if he got caught so be it but he needed it more.
"Sergeant Barnes." Peggy's voice was too commanding for him to keep walking.
Turning tryna keep the bottle away from her judgemental eyes but she was too quick no wonder Steve liked her, frowning displeased.
"I need a release. Don't judge." He smiled.
"I wouldn't want to get in between you and Steve."
The words had him taking a panicked step backwards, gripping the bottle a little tighter but she couldn't mean what he thought.
"If you have a problem with me I would rather deal with it now."
"No problem. He's my best friend, I'm just making sure you're the one for him because that's all he wants is one person."
Most women would've fired back angry comments back at him but she simply nodded with an impressed smile, "Okay."
Wandering out into the stars he took another long swig from the bottle, what was wrong with him?
He should be happy for Steve, it's what he wanted.
Everything works out in the end.

You've got me treading on the water
because I've never learned to swim

In search of Bucky he excused himself from Peggy, understanding his worry for his friend she smiled lingering a kiss on his cheek, smiling boldly she strode away.
Taking a few moments to admire her, he rushed outside, he asked so many people if they'd seen him but each one was more clueless than the last.
He'd been acting strange.
When he finally found him he paused smiling softy he looked like a kid again, his chin hidden in his knees as he stared longingly at the stars, the light reflecting a sheen of tears on his troubled eyes.
He frowned as he noticed the empty bottle on the ground next to him, it wasn't the first time he got pissed but he wasn't in the right mind.
"Buck." He called softly.
"Steve!" he exclaimed hoarsely from the drink ripping at the back of the throat, jumping up much to quickly he watched in horror as one leg entombed the door and he was sent flying onto his back.
He rushed to his side throwing one of his arms around his shoulder, now he was bigger he could easily lift him, he looked much slighter than he usually did.
"Whoops." He chuckled as Steve tried to sneak him back into his room, he looked unfit, he would be put on leave if his drinking kept up the way he was going.
"You're drinking too much."
"Naw it's just taking longer for me to get drunk."
Bucky groaned as he gently lowered him onto the bed, rubbing at his eyes, they were totally unfocused, red and puffy.
"Bucky please tell me what's wrong?"
Laughing coldly his head snapped up at him, his eyes flicking down at his mouth, he felt his heart start to accelerate.
"Just stand there and let me do this."
Barely managing to stand upright barely, Steve felt twisted with guilt, he shouldn't let him do what he thought he was going to do but he couldn't stop the selfish part of him.
His hot breath hit his ear, almost shuddering his eyes opening wide in surprise as Bucky dragged a slow cruel hand over his bottom lip.
They parted much too eagerly it woulda been embarrassing if it wasn't Bucky, he smiled smugly flicking his tongue out to sweep it along his lip.
Flushing with heat, he groaned, this was too teasing, he needed to grab him and kiss him, hold him to him but he needed Bucky to do this himself. He'd waited long enough.
His rough, calloused hands cupped his face, the end of his fingers disappearing into his hair, shifting his hip towards him, there wasn't anything light about Bucky's lips against his, they ravaged him kissing him raw, lips burning after him.
Steve grabbed a handful of Bucky's shirt keeping it tight in his grip, making him stay there before he disappeared again, finally he could kiss him back.
Testing the waters he lightly flicked his tongue into Bucky's mouth, expecting him to recoil as usual but a satisfied groan made him ripples of desire coarse through his body, making him hungrier for more of him.
"Buck." He groaned against his lips pulling away from him, it took everything he had in him but he had to see him.
His eyes were either still half dazed from drink, or him, he hoped it was the latter. Shushing his impatient lips he stilled them against one another, leaning his forehead against his, breathing him in and with as much love as he could muster into one kiss, he kissed him softly hoping it would be enough to make him stay there.
He heard him sigh contently, he smiled but Bucky swayed forward, a low chuckle left his lips, his eyes blinking more rapidly.
"I think I might fall down if I don't sleep. Sorry Stevie."
"It's alright."
He tried to help him into bed but stubborn as a mule he got one leg under the cover, the rest of him was dead weight over the covers, groaning he buried his head under his pillow and Steve had to laugh at him.
"You want me to help?"
"No."
"Night." He chuckled hearing his breaths get heavier.
"Love you Buck." He said to no one because he wasn't brave enough to say it out loud.

He was stepping into Bucky's room as he batted his knuckles against the door, they knew each other too well to stand on ceremony.
He was hastily pulling a shirt over his head, swaying on his feet, he didn't look well, this hangover wasn't going to treat him kindly.
"How are you feeling?"
"Just dandy. Please lets go running." He quipped throwing him a wry look.
"Buck." He started feeling more nervous than he thought he would, he stepped closer and in one stride he was standing in front of him.
"Are we gonna talk about last night?" he couldn't disguise the hope in his voice.
Shaking his head. He laughed, "Shit. I was drunk. Sorry Steve."
Anger storming in his eyes, he hated how weak and small he sounded his voice shaking, "Don't do this."
He stopped for a second really looking at him, "Steve," he started his eyes playful.
Throwing up his hands, his eyes stung, "Buck I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore."
He stupidly expected this to snap up his attention but his face stayed well-schooled, smiling sadly he barely looked at him, "Peggy's a great dame, you're a lucky guy. I need to find myself one of those."
He wanted to yell at him, shake sense into him but he felt defeated, this felt like a battle he wasn't gonna win.
"You could have whoever you wanted, I'll talk to you later Buck."
"Sure thing Steve."
He missed how Bucky fell against the wall, it was the only thing keeping him up, hating himself for every word.

And now I know that it's all over
I better learn to start again

Steve always told him how he wanted a family, he wanted kids, now he could have it all with Peggy. It didn't matter if he was practically indestructible now, it was the practical he was worried about he was still going to protect him as much as he could.
"I love you Buck." Rang in his ears like an awful siren, he drowned them out as best he could.
He was fine before this, with women wrapped around him whenever he wanted, he was happy, Steve did all this by making him fall in love with him.
They weren't right, not right now.
A shadow in the room he watched in dismay as he mistakenly witnessed Peggy and Steve locking lips like old high school sweethearts.
Holding back the anger whirling through his body, he prepared himself as they broke apart smiling bashfully, Peggy caught his eye.
Quickly he smiled, "Now you do realise Steve that, that wasn't sex." He gestured jokingly to their little exchange.
"Buck." Steve chuckled his eyes holding his, their looks now haunted by something missed.
"I'll leave you two lovebirds." Squeezing Steve's shoulder quickly he turned to Peggy winking at her, "You'll do."
"Oh thank you Barnes." She said dryly.
A myth in the doorway he walked outside the cool air a welcome, "Buck." Steve called and regretfully he turned.
"You're sure?"
He wasn't fool enough to play dumb now, his mouth barely crinkling into a smile he nodded afraid to look into the longing in his eyes.
"I'll see you later." His eyes shook nervously, "Yeah."
He could never leave him behind, "I'm with ye till the end of the line pal."
Smiling their smile Steve hesitantly backed away from him.
Once he got home he would have to go in serious search of dames, something to dull the throbbing pain he left in his chest.
Steve was getting what he wanted, everything he needed, he was happy for him.
Everything works out in the end.