Hi again! This story is going to have chapters, but don't worry I will finish it! I have it written already, I'll just have to find time to read the next of the chapters through before I publish the rest. But please leave a comment and tell me what you think so far and I'll be back soon with the rest! :)

I don't own Merlin.

Why do you keep talking about the fact that blood is thicker than water? Why should that even matter? What if the blood is infected – why should that be more important than clear, life-necessary water?

I used to think that the bond within a family was everything. That nothing could break it. I knew our family was different. I knew we thought them to be different. But not like this.

I had heard about family fights before of course. But I always thought it was because one part had done something wrong and that they argued about something real. Of course, all people argue about is the thing less important for me. The thing that might be convenient to have but that will never give you satisfaction. No matter how much you get.

I hate money. With every ounce of my body. And I loathe people living for it.

My father has always been a wealthy man. But he isn't blinded by gold the way he once was. He has changed, and so have I. We used to live a really wealthy life. Me, my father and my stepsister. We got everything we pointed at, me and my sister that is. And even as adults he has given us more than enough.

I don't want his money though. I started working early and worked myself up. I don't earn the amount of money that my father did before the company broke down and I probably never will, but enough for financing my family and not be dependent on my father's money.

Morgana, my stepsister, isn't like me. Or she is not like the me I am today. I used to be like her. I used to see the beauty of money and power. I used to think I was better than others, just because I was rich. I used to be a prat.

You still are though.

Shut up.

My whole life people have expected me to follow in my father's footsteps. I started working at his company but realized quickly that I didn't like it. It was too.. money oriented. It was all about making a profit and didn't have the meaning I'm looking for in life.

I guess I'm not really making any sense here, am I? Maybe I should take you back seven years to where it all started.

That might actually be a good idea.

And I will explain the constant interruption from a certain idiot..

Told you you're still a prat!

Seven years earlier:

"Hey, watch it! What do you think you're doing running around like that?"

"I'm in a hurry."

"You can still not run around like that in the office."

"Oh.. then sorry, but I really have to go!

"Hey! Come back!"

He didn't even turn around and look at me. I had problems finding a good assistant, but this was just too much. This one didn't follow orders, did everything wrong and on top of all talked back to me! I was his boss for heaven's sake. And I was beyond furious. He had already given me a nickname, can you believe it? Prat. On his first day. What does that even mean? He was a living disaster and I couldn't wait for him to do something wrong so I could fire him. Or I would fire him before that, it wasn't like I hadn't fired people for less in the past.

I had decided to fire him that same day, after he spilled my coffee all over me. Of course I kept an extra set of clothes at my office just in case but I didn't have time to take a shower or anything so I smelled like coffee for the rest of the day. And to top it all I had a meeting with my father the same afternoon.

"I guess you know what I wanted to talk to you about Arthur." My father said when I entered.

I knew. But I answered no, I wasn't going to play in his hands.

"I want to discuss your engagement of course. I believe Sophia's father will be much more willing to accept our deal once his daughter gets what she wants. It's important that we write the contract soon, Arthur. I hope you're planning to propose shortly."

I took a deep breath and looked up to meet my father's gaze.

"I don't want to marry her father. We are not right for each other, I can feel it. She's only after my money."

My father didn't disappoint me. Well he did of course, but he had exactly the kind of reaction I knew he would.

"For heaven's sake Arthur! We are earning money here. Do you know how much we will benefit if he chooses to sign the contract? It doesn't matter that you'll have to share it with that girl, you'll earn enough for the both of you!"

"But I don't love her."

Uther slammed his hand to the table. He was furious as I knew he would be once I dropped the bomb.

"If we're going to go around waiting for you to love someone Arthur, we will have to wait forever! Have you ever had feelings for anybody in your entire life?"

I knew my father would throw a fit. I knew he would be furious. I knew he would most likely disown me. But I didn't knew he had the ability to hurt me like that.

Still, I would rather die than let it show, so I held my head high and refused to let his word get to me.

"I will not discuss this anymore. Do you have anything else to say or shall I leave now?"

"The discussion isn't over." Was all he answered through gritted teeth.

"I am aware."

With that I marched out before he could say anything more.

It shouldn't have affected me. I didn't let anyone affect me. I didn't let anyone get to me. It was years ago since I cried and wasn't going to do that now.

I got to my office before I couldn't hold my posture anymore. Instead of sitting down next to my table and putting my head in my hands and look depressed, like business men usually seemed to do, I sat down on the floor in the corner of my office. It was late, no one would come and I had really given it my all not to give into my feelings before. I hugged my legs and tried to make myself as small as possible. I don't know why I do that when I get sad, but I have done that since I was young.

The reason why his words affected me this way is obvious of course. They were true. I hadn't loved anyone. I had barely had feelings for anyone. And I had dated tons of girls, both in my teenage years and as an adult. But it never lead anywhere. No matter what kind of girls I dated, I didn't feel what others seemed to feel.

"Maybe you are looking at the wrong place."

My head snapped up as if someone had shot a bullet. Of course he couldn't keep time, remember how I want my coffee or how to organize my papers but did remember that he was going to clean up my office the last thing he did before he left. Of course he would remember that part of the deal.

"You can leave. You can clean tomorrow."

But Merlin didn't leave. He just did what I knew he would. He sat down on the floor next to me, not touching me but close enough to.

"You are not strange, you know. Finding someone to love isn't easy. And you certainly haven't looked everywhere." Merlin's voice was soft but I couldn't read him.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it. Can I just have a moment alone?"

My voice was harsh. I really didn't have the energy to suppress my emotions any longer and I just wanted to be alone.

"It's okay though. Showing emotions I mean. I'm not going to judge you or anything. I cry every time I go from the hospital after visiting my mother."

Merlin looked out of the window and talked in a small tone. I didn't know that his mother was at the hospital and didn't know what kind of sickness she had. But I didn't dare to ask.

We sat like that for the rest of the evening. We didn't talk but it wasn't as uncomfortable as I had thought it would be. It was actually quiet nice to have some company for once. Company that didn't make me want to cringe and run away that is.

I didn't fire Merlin that night. And not any other night either. After that, things changed. Merlin was still a clumsy idiot, but I knew there was more to him than that. More often than not he gave me his opinions regarding matters that was really none of his business and more often than I'd like to admit I listened to them. I'm not actually sure when or how we became friends. But we did. And I didn't realize myself until I got confronted by my father. Apparently you shouldn't care too much about your assistants.

I didn't really care though. Uther was mad at me for not proposing to Sophia and I didn't think that not hanging around with Merlin would help matters.

Being friends with Merlin was different than anything I had ever experienced before. He was different. He made me think differently. When I was with him I didn't worry about what I should think or like or want. I didn't care that much about my father's approval and I didn't think that much about money. It just wasn't as important. What was important was Merlin, and Merlin's smile. I realized that Merlin smiled when I was truthful to myself and the smile disappeared when I did something just to please my father. Merlin smiled when I invited him out and wrinkled his nose when I lied and said I couldn't make it when I was really just forced to decline because of Sophia.

I realized from the moment I introduced Merlin to Sophia that they wouldn't get along. It had been a complete accident. I had been out with Merlin and we just ran into Sophia. From that day on she was way suspicious whenever I was home late or didn't show up.

"I want you to fire Merlin. I don't like him." She said one day.

"I like him." I responded shortly, not caring too much about what she thought about the matter.

She took my paper from my hand and put her hands on her hips, putting on her I'm-gonna-make-a-scene-face.

"I have already spoken to father and he said clearly that he will not have anything to do with Camelot industries as long as that poof is working for you."

I put down my cup forcefully on the table, almost making the coffee slip out.

"What did you call my friend?"

"Poof. Fag. Whatever you want to call it. He obviously just wants to get into your pants Arthur, haven't you noticed?" Sophia said with played surprised.

I could feel the anger boiling inside me and I stood up slowly trying to control my emotions.

"Merlin is my friend and if you are not alright with that you may leave. I will not let you talk about him in that way."

"He only wants to be with you so he can get into your position. Maybe he thinks that sleeping with the boss's son will give him the job that he wants."

"Merlin is not the one that is with me only because of my position, you are." I said, and I even surprised myself by being so calm.

"This has honestly been the worst year of my life and I end it now. You can tell your father that if he only wants the deal if I marry you he can forget it because that's not happening."

Sophia just looked like at me like I was out of my mind.

"Arthur, you don't mean that.. It's Merlin that has made you think that right? I'm telling you, Merlin is just.."

"Stop it." I interrupted and when she didn't move I did something I never thought I would do. I took her arm and practically dragged her out of my apartment. It felt extremely good slamming the door at her face once she was out.

The first thing I did after that was sending a text message to my father giving him a heads up about me ending it with Sophia. The next thing I did was asking Merlin to come over.

Merlin brought some food as usual and we sat down in the sofa to eat, something Sophia never would have allowed.

"I broke up with Sophia." I said when we had almost finished.

Merlin didn't say anything.

"She made me choose between you and her. Apparently she thought you were gay and crazy for me or something." I said and rolled my eyes, realizing how stupid that sounded.

"And you chose me?"

Merlin looked at me with wide eyes, like my choice was a surprise for him.

"Obviously."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

Merlin put down his food and seemed to consider his words before he answered.

"You turn down your father, risking your job, breaking up with your girlfriend that you've been dating for over a year all because you want to be with me. And you know that I'm gay and interested in you. That obviously makes me wonder what's going on in your head right now."

I gaped at him. Was I actually dreaming? Maybe the relief of finally ending it with I-want-money-girl hit me worse than I thought.

"What?"

"What what?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Why would I think you're gay? Are you gay? Or.. never mind that actually, are you interested in me?" I was rambling and almost stuttering. I never stutter. Ever. I couldn't have.

"Yeah, I thought Sophia told you?"

"I don't give a shit of what she say. I thought she was wrong. Jealous that I like spending time with you a hundred times more than I like spending time with her."

I hadn't mean to say that last part but I didn't regret saying it when Merlin's face broke out into a grin from ear to ear. I hadn't thought of Merlin as pretty before but I couldn't help but notice how his eyes shined when he smiled or how adorable he was when he tilted his head and smiled. When I thought about it I couldn't understand how I could have missed it. There was something about him. Something different, but good different. Interesting almost.

"I like spending time with you too by the way. I hope you know that at least." Merlin said with a small smile and rose from the sofa to take away our food.

You would think it would be awkward after this. I had just found out Merlin is gay and has a soft spot for me. But it wasn't at all. I was surprised myself of how little it mattered to me. I had no other friends that were gay and I had been taught by my father that homosexuality was something sinful. Still, I had no hard feelings towards Merlin and even if I tried I couldn't make myself care.

I still enjoyed being with him. We put on a movie after we had set off the table and it was like usual. He fell asleep before the end and I woke him up by pouring some water in his face when the film had ended.

"Argh.. Arthur! Do you have to be such a prat?" Merlin complained and rubbed his eyes groggily.

"Do you have to be an idiot?" I answered but couldn't help but smile slightly. He looked ridiculous with his hair in all angles and his eyes a bit red.

"I'm not an idiot. I'm only a bit tired."

"Sleeping you do in the bed, not in the sofa." I answered without thinking.

Merlin stopped what he was doing and looked at me. I felt my cheeks heating up.

"It's late and you're tired. You're in no condition to drive and I'm feeling a bit tired myself. I have spent months sharing that bed with a person I hate, I can handle one night with you."

I tried to make it sound casual. But I guess I failed. Merlin's eyes widened and he looked a bit lost.

"I'm not letting you drive in your condition." I finished and rose from the sofa. "I'm going to get you a spare toothbrush."

I walked out of the living room and into the bathroom before Merlin could answer. I closed the door and let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. I wanted Merlin to stay. I hadn't realized before but I really wanted that. I guess I felt the need to be with someone tonight. I didn't regret anything, and I felt relief that Sophia was gone. But I could still feel that something was missing. Like there was a hole inside me. A hole that only could be filled if Merlin was here.

Sleeping with Merlin turned out to be completely different from sleeping with Sophia. Sophia used to lie looking at her phone before falling asleep and I used to turn my back to her and try my best to ignore her very presence.

I tried to ignore Merlin as well. But that turned out to be more difficult than I thought. I could barely breath like normal without thinking that Merlin would hear me. I was nervous. For what? I didn't know. But I could tell that much.

It was ridiculous, really. I wouldn't have cared that if it were anyone else of my friends. But somehow Merlin was different. Very different. And not only because he was gay. I don't think I would've cared if any of my other friends were. But suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Merlin was gay.

He had even told me he liked me. But how? Was it just physical attraction or did he like my personality? Would he like to be in a relationship with me or was it just a crush that would fade? And what did he even like? All my other girlfriends had been after my money or status, but I somehow got the feeling that wasn't what Merlin wanted.

"It's not."

I stopped breathing.

"I wouldn't give a shit if you're rich or not Arthur."

Did I say that out loud?

"I.. I think I have something to tell you Arthur. I guess I should've told you sooner but it's not something that is really easy to tell."

"Okay." I answered. He had obviously noticed that I didn't sleep anyway.

It was quiet for a moment and I almost thought that Merlin had decided no to tell me when I felt him turning in the bed to watch me. I lied still and tried to ignore his gaze, staring at the ceiling instead.

"I can read minds."

"Haha, really funny!" I said sarcastically.

"It's true. I don't do it all the time. I try not to. But sometimes it's like I can't put it off and I can't help but read others minds. Like when I'm with you."

"Really, so what am I thinking then?" I said with a smirk not believing him for a second.

Merlin was quiet for a second before turning over again and looking at the ceiling again, his eyes closed.

"Your mind is a mess. You don't want to believe me, but you've really already figured it out even if you don't want to admit it. You're thinking back to all those times when I've known what you've thought without you telling me. You're also thinking a hell lot of me. And what to do with all these confusing emotions regarding me. You don't want to admit to yourself what you're feeling, and that's making you scared. And you.."

"Stop it!" I almost screamed at him.

I fled the bed rushing to the other side of the room like that would protect me from him entering my mind.

"Arthur, listen to me. I can help.."

"No! Get out!" I screamed back.

"Arthur, I'll try harder.. I'll try to control it.."

"Get out!" I screamed again.

When Merlin didn't move I rushed to him again and took him just like I had taken Sophia some hours ago and dragged him out of the apartment.

"Arthur, will you please just listen!" Merlin screamed with tears in his eyes.

"No! I trusted you! And you.. you used me!" I screamed back and I cursed my voice when it broke just a bit.

"When did I use you?! I was born like this! I can't help it. And it's not like I can read everything, if I could chose I wouldn't read anything!"

Merlin was crying now and I was standing with his arm in a death grip on my way to press him out and close the door for him.

I didn't do that though. Something in his eyes made me loose my grip on him and my heart to slower its beating. I let his arm go like I had been burned and turned my back to him.

"You can sleep on the sofa. I'll take the bed." I said and left him where he was, crying on the floor.

Once I had entered my bedroom I crawled up to the bed and cried. I didn't even know why I cried. I felt betrayed, angry and perhaps a bit scared. But mostly I felt embarrassed, humiliated even. And that's when everything made sense.

I wasn't angry with him for having this.. ability. I was angry that he knew of my feelings. I was embarrassed that he knew of my feelings.

I was straight. I had always knew that. I had never been with a guy, or even been interested in one before. But neither had I been that interested in any girl..

He made me question myself without even knowing it. I loved being in his presence. I loved being with him. I had fun with him. I could be myself with him. He was a friend, but sometimes I felt like he was more. I felt like he was the part of myself that I'd been missing. And that thought freaked me out. I know it did. And that was probably why I had panicked once Merlin had admitted that he could read my mind.

He knew all this. He knew that I was feeling like this. Hell, he might've even knew before I did. He could read my fucking mind! He knew I was thinking he was pretty before. He knew I was questioning my sexuality. He knew I was thinking about dating. He knew everything.

I put my head into the pillow. I was a mess. A complete mess. But, I had always been. I hadn't felt at ease for years before I met Merlin.

"Arthur?" Merlin said quietly from the other side of the door, his voice hoarse from crying.

Maybe it didn't matter.

"Arthur.. I'm really sorry."

Maybe it wasn't Merlin's fault.

"I shall try harder.. I shall try harder never to do that again.."

Maybe it was me that had done wrong.

"Please Arthur, don't shut me out."

And it was probably out of fear.

"Please Arthur.."

I opened the door.

Merlin sat crawled up into a ball on the floor outside my bedroom door. He seemed so small, fragile almost. But I knew he was everything but.

"Come on." I said hoarsely and held out my hand for him to take it. I pulled him to his feet and led him back to the bed.

Merlin sat at the end of the bed and looked at me with wide, red eyes, resembling slightly of a deer in highlights. I sat down next to him and pulled the covers over us.

We sat like that for a while, not saying anything. I closed my eyes and tried to formulate something to say but I couldn't find the words. In the end I settled with taking Merlin's hand once more and pulling him down with me in the bed. I pulled him close to me and put a hand over his torso. I didn't say anything. But I guess I didn't have to.

I guess it took some time even after that night to make me fully accept the fact that not only were I gay, and had been for my entire life of course, but I was also very much in love with my very clumsy and hopeless assistant. We started hanging out even more, and it almost always ended with him staying the night. We didn't do anything but I know we both could tell something had changed. We weren't just friends anymore. We were something more.

My father was not happy with me for dumping Sophia, but he took it better than expected I guess. Well, he didn't disown me I mean. He was furious of course and yelled at me for hours. But I didn't really mind. Because what he said wasn't true anymore. I wasn't an emotionless robot anymore. I actually had someone I longed to meet, someone I looked forward to meeting. I had someone I loved. And he couldn't take that away from me. At least, that's what I thought.