Between Letters: Part I: Dear Hawke

Dear Hawke,

How are you? I hope you and Mother are doing well. Things are good here. I've found my place among the Templars. It's nice to have purpose, to be part of something bigger than myself... and you! All right, all right, I'll stop being a pain in the ass.

It's not a perfect job, though. I don't really like what we do to mages, but do we have a choice? It keeps everyone safe, and it's better than the alternative. Many mages understand that we're trying to help, even if our methods could use improvement.

Unfortunately, there are extreme elements within the Order. Some argue for a permanent solution and have ideas I hope never take root. Makes me glad Bethany never had to live in a place like this.

I'll wrap this up. Duty calls. Send my love to Mother.

Your brother, Carver

Marian Hawke stares at the letter, the first she has received from her brother since her return from the Deep Roads, and is not sure what she wants to think first.

Part of her is screaming to march right into the gallows and shake her little brother until his brains rattle out of his ears and drip onto the floor, demanding why he thought joining the Templars had been such a grand idea?

Why he would betray Bethany's memory...why he would betray her?

When was the last time he used her given name?

But that thought doesn't last long because there is another part of her that is rational and understands his choice.

He always had to be careful, since most of their life was spent hiding the fact that she and Beth were mages, and given that she was the oldest, Marian's opinions were always considered first.

It was something Carver had always resented her for and given their life of constant watchfulness, she had never know how to deal with his anger and bitterness.

Marian sighed.

The Hanged man was as busy as ever and a few tables over, Isabela was regaling their companions with one of her usual wild tales of the sea; Varric laughed loudly, Aveline was tense with her usual disapproval, Anders looked awkwardly out of place, Merril blushed furiously at a particularly debauchery part of the tale that for once did not go over her head and Fenris just looked bored.

Marian smiled, wanting to join in but the letter from Carver had left her in a strange mood and she probably wouldn't be the best company tonight. So, she turned back to the crumpled paper and decided on how to reply.

Eventually, she came up with something she deemed appropriate.

Dear Carver,

Thank you for your letter. I would have written to you sooner, but was unsure of how anything I would have to say, would be received.

I am as well as can be considering the horrors the Deep Roads held.

I know you wanted to come and my only regret is that you resent me for not allowing you to. However, that regret is dwarfed by the fact that we almost died down there and you were spared almost sharing in our fate.

We lost several people to the taint and I would have never been able to live with myself if that had been you.

I know you think I have always overshadowed you, but I promise it has never been intentional.

Mother is fine, especially since we bought back the family home. She misses you terribly though and I do hope you will write to her personally. Or even visit briefly.

I am happy if you are happy and only hope you continue to uphold those views that make you who you are. You are a great man Carver and I would hate to see you changed by the opinions of others.

Everyone sends their regards and Varric asks that you remember your weekly drinking sessions.

Take care and try not to get yourself killed.

All my love,

Marian

She reread it twice, found it a bit too sappy but unavoidable and rolled it up, deciding to send it in the morning.

"Hey Hawke!" Varric shouted. "You better come join us or all the wine will be gone."

Marian smiled.

"Planning to drink the Hanged Man out of stock again?"

"You know it." Varric grinned roguishly and the group laughed as she pulled out a stool next to Fenris, who tilted his head in her direction.

"Well, come on." She smirked. "The night is young and we have a lot of wine to get through."