Frank Bryce made his way cautiously to the door. He could hear a few people arguing behind it.
"No, Wormtail! I need Potter's blood specifically!" a high cold voice said angrily.
"Well, in that case, I think I may have an idea, and I believe you can be resurrected by October," the other person, Wormtail, said.
At this point, Frank Bryce left, as he had an irrational fear of any and all vampires and even the talk of blood made him queasy.
Line Break, Line Break, Enjoy this Line Break!
September 15th, Hogwarts
"You know what I hate about my period?" Harriet Potter asked conversationally to her best friend, Hermione Granger.
"What?"
"It doesn't follow a pattern, and I get, like, no warning signs! So all of a sudden, I wake up and, oh look, blood in my panties! It sucks!"
"I maintain that my debilitating cramps are far worse," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
Ron, who has remained a guy in this fanfiction, looked distinctly uncomfortable.
Line Break, Line Break, Enjoy this Line Break!
Still September 15th, the Laundry Room at Hogwarts
A gray rat with one toe missing snatched up Harriet Potter's bloody panties in his mouth, avoiding the actual bloody part, and skedaddled off to his master.
Line Break, Line Break, Enjoy this Line Break!
September 17th, the Graveyard
"Well, that was quick. You said it'd be by October!"
"Well, it's not like I know her period cycle!"
"Oh well, let's get this thing over with."
Voldemort hopped into the gigantic cauldron, and Wormtail began the resurrection. He dumped some bone dust in, chopped off another finger (it was going to be really hard to type after this), and dropped the scrapings of blood from Harriet Potter's panties into the pot.
Voldemort emerged, looking like his old self. "Man," he said, cracking his neck, knuckles, back, foot, elbow, and spleen, "I feel like a woman.
Line Break, Line Break, Enjoy this Line Break!
September 19th, Daily Prophet
Ladies and Gentlemen, Voldemort is back! Due to a press release done by his minion, a man known as Wormtail, he was resurrected by an old recipe found at the back of Ye Olde Bettie Crocker Recipe Booke, edition 5. Using the 'bone of the father', 'blood of an enemy', and 'flesh of a servant', they baked him back in no time!
When asked who donated which part, Wormtail said that the bone of the father came from the Little Hangleton Graveyard, blood of an enemy came from a pair of red lace underpants (see picture on left) belonging to one Harriet Potter, and flesh of a servant was donated by Wormtail himself!
Holding up his right hand with three fingers left, he said mournfully, "I think I go through fingers at a faster rate than most people."
When asked, the Minister of Magic's only response was "I still don't believe he's back!"
Lord Voldemort has been approached by Witch Weekly, Esquire, and Playgirl to do a spring swimsuit shoot, although no decisions have been made at this time.
Line Break, Line Break, Enjoy this Line Break!
September 19th, Great Hall
Harriet Potter slammed down her copy of the Daily Prophet. "I really hate my period," she said.