Merry Christmas, Veggie-Kun!
By INK
Inspired by A Charlie Brown Christmas
"See if you can go higher."
"I will do no such thing, woman!"
"Come on. We'll do it together. Ready? On the first day of Christmas…"
"I broke Kakarotto's neck, and strangled his en-ti-re fam-ly. On the second day of Christmas I strangled his moron-son, and – "
Bulma put her hands on her hips, pursing her lips and giving him the look. Vegeta scowled back and tossed the paper to the side, giving her a smirk. "Well you said go higher, so I did. I went to the extreme."
Bulma let out a very Saiyajin growl, and Vegeta sucked in a frustrated breath though his nose. "I'm not going on this foolish ritualistic trip! You can go sing your shrill voice hoarse if you want, but I'd rather save mine for laughing in joy when Kakarotto dies at my hands!"
Bulma was about to reply, when, "In fact, please do go so that when you try to scream at me, you have no voice, stupid woman." Vegeta sneered, turning to stalk out of the room when Bulma said sweetly,
"So that means you'll watch Bra while Trunks, the Sons and myself go caroling?"
Vegeta froze in his tracks. "I will not,' he growled harshly, 'be subjected to your bribery. I'm going to spar with Kakarotto, so I'd suggest you give him a Christmas gift early. He wont be here in the morning."
He was about to ramble on about how he would be victorious over Goku when something tugged at his leg. He looked down, "What do you want?"
Bra looked up at him, blue eyes wide and innocent. "But daddy, don't you want to stay home with me?"
Vegeta's eyes flashed from Bra to his wife, and he looked down again. "I can't, girl. Your stupid mother wants me to go with her. So it's all her fault." He finished, he brows lifting in horror as Bra began to tear up. "IhavetogoBrait'stimeformeandthatmoronicKakarottotosparbye." He garbled quickly, stalking out the door.
Bra sniffled and wiped her eyes, looking over to her mother, who dug into her pocket and pulled out a bag of various candy and handed it to her, smiling and ruffling her teal hair.
Bra giggled and ran off.
Bulma felt herself smirk as Vegeta watched her through dark eyes from behind the window. It was like her mother used to say, 'a woman's way, saves the day.'
* * * *
"Vegeta, slow down, can we…can we at least get something to eat before the next round?"
Vegeta smirked, his lip splitting further as his mouth stretched and he immediately stopped. "No wonder you let that woman you call a wife drag you around like you were an infant. You're an infant's equal!"
Goku didn't seem insulted by Vegeta's reply. "But Vegeta! I'm starving and we've been sparring all morning and Chichi wouldn't let me have any food if I didn't go caroling with her tonight and I really didn't want to so I said I'd go to Bulma's for breakfast and she said the same thing – "
Vegeta held up a hand. "Wait a minute – you're going caroling as well?"
"Yeah, but – "
Vegeta simply turned on his heel and began stalking away. And of course, Goku followed heavily behind him. "Does this mean we can eat now?"
"It means, Kakarotto, that you can shove a Christmas tree up your – '
"Butt ß--(get it?) Vegeta! Cant we eat first?"
Vegeta turned quickly, Goku nearly running into him, and slid into a stance. "One more spar Kakarotto, and if you win, I'll buy you dinner."
Goku's face lit up, and he practically skipped into a stance, attacking Vegeta head on and slamming a mighty fist into Vegeta's cheek, then drove a knee into the smaller Saiyajin's abdomen.
Vegeta felt reaction and awareness fade back into him, and he thrust a fist aside, backhanding Goku into the side of a nearby rock side, then smashing into him with a fully body slam, driving a second fist under his rib cage and jerking it to the side.
Goku let out the loudest, shrillest, most piercing scream he had ever heard from the third class Saiyajin warrior. In fact, after the scream didn't exactly fade out, it almost started to worry the prince.
What had he done, exactly? And more importantly, was Goku too hurt to keep sparring?! Had he not been Saiyajin, he would have fainted in fear (had he not been Saiyajin, he wouldn't have cared, ne?)
Goku began fumbling around for something to lean on while still shrieking about his 'busted lung' or something, and Vegeta rolled his eyes angrily, gripping Goku's shoulder with one hand and lowering one to ribcage height.
"Kakarotto, shut up! It cant hurt that bad, moron! Just hold still." He shouted over the incredibly loud scream. Goku kept screaming in that same, high, constant pitch. "I said shut up, you third class moron! Shut your weak MOUTH!" he commanded again, reaching under the rib cage and fisting it to the best of his abilities while Goku continued to scream.
With a sharp twist to the side, Vegeta yanked his rib cage back into proper alignment, while Goku's scream began to fade.
The scream turned back into long dragging shudders and gasps; perhaps even more annoying than the scream itself. The third class warrior dropped to his hands and knees, and Vegeta looked around to see if anyone had seen the little adjustment.
Goku looked up at him, still gasping, and reminding him of Bra when she looked at him after a temper tantrum. Tears nearly reaching the dark eyes. What the hell happened to Goku?! He never acted on pain before. Why now?!
"Vegeta! That hurt!" he complained, getting to his feet and preparing to take him on again. Vegeta slid into another stance and smirked – then his stomach growled.
"Oi…Kakarotto, let's get some food first."
"Okay, Vegeta!" he chimed, taking off into the sky.
Chichi was there to greet them, jaw set and frowning. "I see we have a sixth person joining us for dinner." She said sharply, looking at Goku and optically telling him that he was supposed to be home an hour ago.
Goku winced. "Ah – sorry Chichi. Me and Vegeta had a little accident…" he started, but was silenced by Vegeta pushing through the doorway.
"Woman, get your mate some food before he goes into cardiac arrest. I'll be at my own house while you feed this whelp." He looked at Goku through the corner of his eye, narrowing his gaze. "Kakarotto, meet me in the northern Greenland. Bulma wants a tree."
* * * *
"Aww Chichi, it's fine, I swear!" Goku chimed, sprawled on the bed he and his wife shared with his shirt hiked up to his collar bone. He had to go shopping for a tree with Vegeta. The Prince had threatened to rearrange his rib cage again if he were late.
Chichi gave him a warning glance, and he was once again perfectly still as her hands glided over his bruised torso, every now and then hearing little whimpers from Goku. He was such a big baby sometimes.
"Chichi! I feel just fine!" he promised her, giving her his most sincere smile.
"You stay here, Goku. I'll know if you move." His wife warned, getting from her post by his bed and going into the kitchen. Goku didn't – really didn't want to make Chichi angry at him when Christmas was so close, but he also didn't want to get Vegeta angry…
It really only took Goku a minute to think about who he would rather have pissed off, and his final decision was staying where Chichi told him.
* * * *
A woolen gloved hand wrapped around his elbow, and he momentarily debated whether or not to blow the creature away with his Big Bang Attack –
"Excuse me, sir, would you like to sign up for a chance to win a free vacation to Northern Greenland?" a petite woman offered, cheeks and nose a strange pinkish tint from the cold. Vegeta hoped his facial features were not turning pink. Bulma, damn that woman, loved to point out when his ears turned pink during cold whether.
"No, I'm going there in a few minutes, I don't need your foolish competitions." He answered absently, and the woman gave him a surprised look.
"Northern Greenland? In a few minutes….?" She wondered in disbelief. Vegeta, suddenly remembering what Bulma had so vigorously lectured him on; acting like a normal Human in public. He had laughed at the time, but now he was certain he didn't want Capsule Corporation swamped with media.
"Yeah, uhh, I mean, I'm leaving…umm…tomorrow. So, don't even bother." He corrected himself, glancing at her and folding his arms across his chest, the cold getting to him, somewhat. The frail Human gave him an odd look, but instead of saying anything, she pulled out a catalog and displayed it to him.
"Well, then, since you have time, how about ordering something. A gift for…someone special." She eyed him approvingly, and he tried his best to be 'polite'.
"Like something for my wife?" he put the emphasis on the last word, hoping to get the glint out of her eye. To his relief, and satisfaction, she looked disappointed.
"Exactly! We're having a sail on – '
Vegeta grunted, interrupting her. "I don't understand this whole Christmas thing. What the hell is the point of it?!" he growled to no-one in particular, feeling his fists clench angrily. It was one thing to be stopped in the middle of dinner by Bulma about it, but it was something else all together to be stopped in the middle of the street.
"Well, to give presents!" she said, shrugging. "To spend time with family, as well. You know, make others happy."
"Then what the hell is all this?!" he growled, gesturing to the brightly decorated buildings, lined with lights and garlands and some other prickly green planet with red berries coming from the center. The woman narrowed her eyes on the decorations, as if trying to focus through her wire rimmed glasses.
"To advertise, make money, draw attention." She explained, wondering why he was asking all these questions. "I take it you're not interested in any of our available items." She added flatly, and received a cold glare from Vegeta, giving her another reason to just leave.
Vegeta, happy to have her leave, glanced at the big digital clock in the middle of the town square and felt his upper lip curl in a snarl. Damn that woman. As if caroling wasn't enough, she made his go with that moron Goku to get a tree.
You'll pay, Bulma. A smile curved his mouth at the thought. Oh, you'll pay.
Not particularly caring that he scared half the people in the square to death, he curved his aura around his muscular body and took off for Greenland. It wasn't much better there, because he waited close to a half an hour for Goku to show up.
He would have done it himself, but he (admitting to himself and only himself) didn't know what Bulma was looking for. This was the first Christmas he had really bothered to participate in (if you want to call being in the room and sharing the same meal with everyone else participating).
He didn't know why, but he seemed more…accepted after the fight with Buu. Not just by his wife, who had always been there with him no matter how much the rest of the gang disliked him, but by everyone, even that blond haired witch that had broken his arm in their first battle called him by his first name more than once, instead of 'Hey You.'
But especially Goku's family, even though Goku himself had always treated him like a….friend. His wife didn't seem to mind cooking for the two of them after a spar, and Goku's two brats seemed to enjoy having him over (though he didn't know why…).
Of course, the battle with Buu had given him a major change in feelings for his family, and Goku as well. He felt like he had to admit (to himself only, once again) that Goku, although being a moron, was by far the best….(he had a hard time even thinking the word, it was so alien) friend he ever had in all his years alive.
"Vegeta!"
The prince turned to see a rather distraught Goku appear from what seemed like thin air, trying to pull another grin off. It was obvious he had been forced to use that stupid technique to get from his cottage to Northern Greenland and away from his screaming wife.
"You're late." Vegeta stated flatly. Goku nodded hastily, his dark eyes pleading.
"Don't yell, Vegeta, I think I'm already deaf in this ear!" he complained, pointing to his left ear.
Vegeta just looked him over and smirked. "And to think "And to think you were the first to reach Super Saiyajin. You're a joke, Kakarotto."
Goku, who didn't seem insulted in the least, trotted merrily over to the lot of Christmas trees on display. "Vegeta…why are we at a Christmas tree lot when we're in Northern Greenland? Can't we just go to a forest pull one out of the ground?"
Vegeta hadn't thought of that. He glared at Goku and shook his head, thinking up an excuse. "No, moron! The woman says we have to purchase on, because…these are the only one's she likes!" Goku nodded slowly, and mouthed the word 'gotcha'.
Vegeta scowled and stepped over the yellow tape, making his way into the lot and browsing the selection. "What?! Kakarotto, these aren't trees!"
"Yes they are, Vegeta." Goku said, looking around.
"Kakarotto…they're pieces of thin metal attached to even more weak metal. Not to mention they're pink!" he shouted, only to have Goku grin that stupid grin.
"But Vegeta, I thought you liked pink." He snickered, knowingly dodging a fist. "Do you still have that shirt, Vegeta?" Goku stifled a laugh, and this time Vegeta fisted his coat and pressed his palm against the other Saiyajin's ribs.
"For your information, third class shit, I burned that shirt a long time ago, and if you want to keep commenting, I'll just slide your fragile little rib cage off to the side – "
"Aiiieee! No! Vegeta, I'll be quite!" Goku wailed, holding his hands up to show Vegeta had won. Smirking, the prince dropped Goku to the ground, his rump landing hard.
"Good. Now let's find this baka Christmas tree."
"Hai, Vegeta-sama." Goku gulped, getting to his feet and following Vegeta around the lot.
After inspecting about half the trees, Vegeta grew impatient. "Dammit! What the hell does Bulma want in a tree?!"
"How about this one, Vegeta?"
Vegeta couldn't see Goku anywhere close, and wondered if the tailless Saiyajin was just trying to play another one of his stupid games. "Where, Kakarotto?"
"This one." Goku said, coming out from behind several pink aluminum trees with a medium sized tree, not that he could tell what kind it was, but it didn't seem to matter to Goku.
"Kakarotto...What the hell is – ' he paused, shrugging and preparing to lift off. "Oh well, if it will shut Bulma up, then lets get it."
"That's not very nice, Vegeta." Goku scolded. Bulma was his friend.
"Oh, I hardly think your ribcage would agree, baka." Vegeta snickered, and Goku silently followed him into the sky.
* * * *
"Oh, what a nice tree!"
"Thanks, Bulma! Vegeta picked it out!" Goku said merrily, flashing a V sign keeping his eyes off Vegeta's; though he could feel the hot glare of the Saiyajin prince. Bulma didn't seem to mind.
"You're kidding." She stated, looking the tree over again; obviously unaffected by Vegeta's glare. "Well, it's beautiful, but we're leaving to go caroling in fifteen minutes, so get ready to go." She said, slipping on a nice leather coat and giving Vegeta a frown.
"You're not going to come with us dressed like Joe Body Builder. Now get some….festive clothing on." She ordered, watching Vegeta fold his arms and glare at her even more.
"Fine, then, I guess I just wont come."
Bulma shrugged and smiled sweetly. "Fine, then, I guess you'll just sleep on the couch tonight, too." She buttoned the last on her coat and looked him head on this time. "But don't forget to bring some extra blankets, Veggie-kun. It does get awful cold when you're all alone."
Vegeta growled and grabbed the cuff of Goku's sleeve, pulling him around the corner and slamming him into the white plaster wall. "Kakarotto, you're going to tell me what the hell 'festive clothing' is."
"Well…uhh…Vegeta…" Goku started, wrenching an arm free and making sure it was draped across his middle, guarding his ribs. "It means to wear something that fits the season. Like umm…green pants and a red shirt."
Vegeta released the mere solider and folded his arms, giving him a quick glance. "It…cant be that bad. Give me an example, fool, before I knock your skull off of your neck."
Goku rolled his eyes in thought for a minute, then nodded; a slow smile spreading across the angelic features. "Okay, okay. Sure, Vegeta, I'll get you some festive clothes."
* * * *
"Bulma! Vegeta and I have to go out to get something…" Goku told his friend happily, grabbing Vegeta's wrist and pulling him outside into the snowy atmosphere. Bulma watched them go, scowling, and pulling her new red felt Santa costume around her well shaped figure.
"I guess we'll just have to trust Goku." Bulma sighed, receiving a knowing smile from Chichi. "Ready?"
"Mhm. Goten and Trunks are already in the air car. I guess the other boys will catch up with us later."
* * *
"Kakarotto.." Vegeta hissed through clenched teeth, looking at his daintily clothed reflection; a tight green body suit with red triangle cuffs that were folded over, little bells hanging off the points. His neck line was a mirror image of his wrists. The green spandex ended just below the knee level, and was replaced by long striped stockings; red and white fitting inside green bell-toed elf shoes.
"Bingo!" Goku confirmed, smiling. "It suits you great!"
"You…think so, Kakarotto?" He asked uncertainly, folding his arms and hearing the little bells tinkle. He found he liked the little bells.
"Hai, Hai, Vegeta! But lemme go get my caroling costume on!" Goku dashed behind another curtain, and Vegeta continued to admire himself. There were pointy eared creatures made of card board all over the warehouse they were in, dressed almost identically to himself.
There was also an over weight Human in red; looked like he was aged as well with that white beard. The man was holding up a (2D) bottle with dark liquid inside; must have been that vile cola beverage Bulma served most often at dinner parties when the alcohol was out of the question.
There were some other card board stand ups around the place, with little speech bubbles relaying comments to the
Consumer. Vegeta thought wryly. So this is what almost the entire planet comes to a stop for – a chance to sell their products using this holiday's chosen characters. I take it the old fart in red is the main man.
"Hey Vegeta! We have to go!" Goku called, his green belled arm waving to Vegeta to hurry it up.
Vegeta, grumbling about being ordered around by a third class whelp, complied, lifting off into the air and forgetting to pay for the outfits.
* * * *
"Rudolf the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it – '
"Saw it." Vegeta said in a monotone.
"You would even say it glowed!" Bulma continued with the rest of her friends, nudging Vegeta in the ribs.
"Like a light bulb!" Goku chimed in, the stares that he and Vegeta's decked out elf spandex bodies were receiving going quite unnoticed by the Prince and the solider.
"All of the other reindeer –'
"Reindeer." Vegeta drawled, giving Bulma a nasty look.
"Used to laugh and call him names!"
"Like Pinocchio!" Goku flashed a merry V sign when the audience laughed at his over-glee.
The evening continued nicely, as the group went from house to house, singing different carols and even humming tunes. Vegeta participated in some, though never in the way Bulma had hoped he would.
"Silver bells, silver bells…" Chichi sang softy with Bulma, the males being idle at the moment. "It's Christmas time in the city."
"Ring a Ling." Vegeta spoke with Goku, arms folded. "Hear them ring." With a nudge for his cue, he and Goku began ringing various bells, to be kawaii, as Bulma put it.
"Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'? In the lane, snow it glistenin'. A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walking in a winter wonder land!" Goku belted out the lyrics with a little less than concentrated tune, and the rest of the group tried to resist covering their ears protectively.
"Gone away, is the blue bird! Here to stay is a new bird! He sings a love song, as we go along, walking in a winter wonder land!" Goku continued, and, as Goku leaned down to kiss Chichi under the mistletoe of the door step, the group decided Goku did have too much apple cider.
"In the meadow we can build a snow man…" the rest of Goku's friends tried to pick up where Goku left off, hurrying on away when the song was finished.
The next few songs were sung under a lamp post, the soft yellow glow giving the scene a nice feeling.
"Just hear those sleigh bells jing-a-ling, ring ting ting a ling too, come on its lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you…" Bulma sincerely enjoyed the caroling, and especially liked watching Vegeta, well, try to sing.
"Oh the weather outside is frightful! And the fire is so delightful!" Goku started, still a little tipsy from the fermented apple cider.
"And since there's no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow." Bulma hummed with the rest of the group, leaning backwards slightly, and letting herself lean on Vegeta. To her surprise, his strong arms encircled her waist, and she could swear she felt Vegeta rocking back and fourth; slowly.
Unfortunately, the snow picked up, and they had to resume the caroling back at capsule corporation.
Seated, all of them, in the nice warm dome of Capsule Corps, they resumed singing carols; only this time it was more of a soft humming, only a few of them actually singing the words. Bra and Pan having finally woken up and wandered into the living room, plopping on uncle Goten's lap and stealing his candy apple.
Juuhatchigou and Kurririn showed up later, Marron taking a running leap between Trunks and Goten. "I got some candy when we went caroling!" she cheered, opening a nice sized bag and displaying the treats she had received from her talented vocal abilities.
"Whoa… we didn't get any chocolate.." Trunks grinned, his hand reaching on over into the bag to snag some candy.
"Yeah, all we got was some fermented cider that made Dad's screws go loose." Goten said worriedly; looking over at his father, who was…cuddling with Chichi.
"Do you want some chocolate, Go-kun?" Marron asked, blinking blue eyes that belonged to both parents. Goten laughed and reached in.
"Sure, kiddo."
Finally, the purple haired teen got a hold of the remote control and began flipping through the channels. Eventually, he came across 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'.
"Hey, guys, check it out! It's that American guy's show…ya know, Peanuts." He sat up higher on the couch and the room eventually got silent, watching the little animated figures go back and forth on the screen and talk about commercialized Christmas, and dogs caught up in the merchandised season.
At the end of the movie, Chichi finally admitted she was exhausted, and decided to call it a night. Goku, still druken like a lovesick highschooler, followed her, lifting her up in his arms and practically prancing up the stairs.
"Can I sleep with Goten and Trunks tonight, Okaasan?" Marron chriped, the two boy's laughter unnoticed.
Juuhatchigou looked at her husband and gave him a knowing look, then turned back to their daughter. "I think you'd better sleep with Bra and Pan, honey." She half laughed, nodding goodnight to Bulma and the rest of them.
Bulma stood up and yawned as well, stretching and mumbling something about seeing them all in the morning.
Vegeta grunted, unsure if he was annoyed or overwhelmed with Earth traditions. Though the evening had seemed to blow over nicely, the following night was nothing but a series of disturbing dreams; memories, fears.
He had woken up, next to his mate, as always; but in a cold sweat, the snow outside giving him a little less than 'festive' feeling.
There was only one thing to do.
* * * *
"Kakarotto!" Vegeta hissed, trying hard not to stop levitating and wake Chichi. He was having a hard enough time shaking Kakarotto awake.
Goku's eyes opened slowely, an unsettling liquid look about them. "Vegeta?" he croaked, tempted to turn over and fall back asleep. Vegeta scowled, picking him up to a sitting position by his collar and levitating higher.
"I need to spar."
Goku looked at him for a minute, to Chichi, to the digital clock on the nightstand, then to Vegeta again. "Ah….Vegeta? Have you looked at the clock? It's two in the morning."
Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "I know what time it is, baka! Get out of bed and fight me! Are you a coward?!"
Goku made a whimpering noise and rolled over, tugging the blankets up higher. "But Vegeta! I wanna go to sleep."
The prince fisted the other Saiyajin's tissue thin under shirt and yanked him from the bed, Goku's heels barely touching the matress. "We are going to spar or I'll do a Big Bang attack on all of your Christmas presents!"
Goku squeaked in fear, and was immediately following Vegeta out the window, taking his time to close it tightly.
Vegeta landed some miles away from CC; where a dry wind blew across the cold night sky. Of course he came to this spot; this was where he had first challenged Kakarotto as the second last remaining Saiyajin born to Vejiitasei.
The third class upstart landed not too far away from Vegeta, calling out to him to attack first. So he did.
A knee to the abdomin was all Goku needed to start sparring like the world depended on it. Vegeta was met head on by a series of punches and upper cuts, most of them blocked, but there was too much of them to pay attention to, and he was nailed in the chest with Goku's strong calf.
He felt himself plow into the rockface, flipping over another kick from Goku and meeting his knee with a fist. Goku grunted absently, catching Vegeta just under the arm between his thumb and index finger, swinging the smaller Saiyajin down onto the ground again.
The battle continued, harshly, and this time Goku won the spar. It had ended in the Prince's defeat; sprawled in a mixture of snow and dust with his own blood running from his nose and mouth, the other Saiyajin, having gone as close as he could to SSJ3 in a simple spar, was not too far away, gasping for breath himself.
Making his way over, Goku extended a hand to Vegeta, which was, of course, refused, and muttered something about going back to bed.
"Vegeta, you fought great. You always fight great, but I'm really tired. Can I go back to bed now?" Goku asked, black haired and innocent once again. Vegeta, already on his feet, aswered him with a fierce scowl.
"Of course I fought great. But as always, it wasn't good enough. Damn you, Kakarotto." He tugged his gaze away from Goku's. "This whole…Christmas thing is getting to me. Dammit, will you just tell me what Christmas is about?! How can I make Bulma happy when I don't even know what Im celebrating?!"
Goku blinked, dark eyes wide and innocent in the half light of the twin stars. "Well sure, Vegeta. I can tell you what Christmas is all about."
And he did.
"..and the Angel of the Lord said, "Fear not. For I bring you tidings of great joy. For unto you in this day, born in the City of David; a Savior. Which is Christ the lord…" Goku contiued into the night, and even after Goku left and headed back to Capsule Corps, Vegeta was still thinking.
Whatever Bulma believes in isnt my business, but Kakarotto did mention something about 'family' and spending time with them. I'll make her happy…if only this once…
And he did.
Approaching his Queen in their bed chambers, he stood over her, face set as always. But he found he wasn't tired.
"Vegeta?" she mumbled, not really looking at him, but knowing he was there. "Did you have a good spar?"
Vegeta found himself smiling, and crawled in next to her, her arms wrapping around him in unison to his own. "Yes. It was relaxing."
"Good…" she said, opening her eyes and meeting his with a smile. She held onto him tighter, her head on his chest for a minute before kissing him lightly on the jawline.
"Merry Christmas, Veggie-kun."
And it was.