"Look at me, Kolas! Look at me!"
Falla screamed over the roar of the wind that whipped through the tall pines covered in ice and violently stirred the snow in the air around her. She pleaded desperately and grasped onto Kolas' gloved hand as he peeked up over the ridge they were sheltered behind and stared further off into the thick forest.
They were both bound in furs from head to toe with only their eyes given enough space to peek out from under the mound of hides that wrapped around their heads. Through this space, his eyes squinted and blinked against the harsh gusts as he fiercely scanned the rows of trees where he had claimed to have seen her. He periodically had to reach up with his free hand and wipe away the frost that accumulated around his eyes. When he did, Falla could see that tears had begun to freeze around the corners of his eyes. The cold helping his face to betray his emotions before he could hide them.
To Falla, it felt as though her weight was the only thing keeping him anchored behind this outcropping. As if he would be snatched up by the blizzard and blown further into the forest if it wasn't for her holding him in place. He was possessed wholly by a woman he had seen walking the forest. Or thought he saw. He claimed it was the spirit of his mother, returned from the planet. But that wasn't possible. No one returned from the planet once it was your time to go back and join it in spirit.
Falla had not seen anything as she had been checking signs against one of the nearby trees for evidence of an elk they had been tracking for the last half hour. They had spotted it in a clearing where it had knelt to have a drink from a river that had still not frozen over. When it had spotted them, it fled further into the forest and they had tracked and lost its trail here beneath this rocky ridge.
She knew the truth of Kolas' hallucination though. They were the only Cetra, aside from their camp, within multiple days trip of their current location. Traveling this far north was a rarity as there wasn't much in the way of food in this region, and surviving the harsh weather was more trouble than it was worth. One could die from exposure nearly more quickly than one would die of starvation. It was not an expedition to be taken lightly and without adequate preparation.
It was impossible that he had seen a woman here in the forest with them. There was no way that this was more than some illusion. A trick played on his mind that was heavily fatigued and on the verge of collapse. Falla had heard of this condition before from previous migrations that came up this far into the frozen north. It was told that if one spent too much time in the forests and snowfields, everything began to blend together, and then your mind would start to fill in the gaps with hallucinations. That's what this had to be, as there was no other explanation that made sense.
"That is not your mother!" Falla cried out into the raging winter storm.
"But what if it is, Falla? What if Gaia heard my prayers and has chosen to reward me for my faith and keeping of the ways?"
"We saw your mother return to the planet years ago, Kolas! Look at me! Please, please look at me!" Falla pleaded and pulled down on his arm, trying to get him to shelter back behind the rocks, away from the wind's assault. "You're scaring me. That's not your mother. It can't be. She is DEAD!"
She looked up to plead with him further and saw that his eyes had stopped darting about and were instead fixated on something in the distance. The moisture on his exposed skin had already begun to freeze over and left tracks through the dirt on his face like glaciers that had cut through the terrain as they were ushered south.
Pulling on his arm for leverage she hoisted herself up to stand beside him and look out at what he was focused upon.
The moment she crested the top of the ridge her skin immediately shrieked out against the burst of cold that tore into her. Her hairs stood on end and a prickling sensation washed over her body like an avalanche of chill. She threw up her hands to shield her face and burrowed up into the side of Kolas to try and leech any sort of warmth that she could.
With her hands pressed tightly against her face, she cracked her fingers just barely so she could look out to see what he had spied. After scanning the thicket she caught something off in the distance moving amongst the trees and tried to focus through the visual noise in the air around them. She blinked away the frost and leaned into the wind. There, a few hundred paces out was a figure moving through the rows of trees as if unimpeded by the cold and thigh-deep snow drifts.
A woman, completely nude and hair whipping behind her like brown ribbons, strode between the column of trees like a phantom. Her body looked to be untouched by the environment they currently resided within. The skin across her entire torso was still as pink and warm colored as if she had just gotten up from sitting next to the fire pit back at camp. The delicate fingers at the ends of her hands were clear of frostbite and she looked more like someone taking a stroll along the beaches of the southern lands than a woman found out in this desolate forest.
Looking her over, Falla shuddered under her furs at the thought of what this gale must feel like to exposed skin. She removed her hands from over her eyes and reached out to grab ahold of Kolas to try and drag him back down below the outcropping so they could discuss how to get back to camp before their hallucinations became so intense that they risked becoming lost in the woods. Losing your bearings in this sort of forest was akin to signing your own death warrant as it only took a few hours of exposure to perish, even through the furs.
With her hand outstretched she grasped at nothing. She groped at the air and came back with only a palm full of fresh flakes. Kolas was no longer standing by her side.
In a panic, her breath caught in her lungs and she scoured the snow on all sides of her safe haven here behind the hill of stone. The landscape stretched on in all directions without even a hint of tracks or footfalls. If his footprints had been cut into the snow, then the storm must have filled them in during the short time that Falla had been fixated on the nude woman in the forest.
"KOLAS!" she bellowed out into the din of the blizzard.
Screaming caused her throat and lungs to burn with the chill that pried its way into her open mouth. It looking for those warm places that hid within her. With each yell it felt like the lining of her throat was being peeled away and stripped. She would be hoarse before much longer and then unable to cry out for help if something were to happen or if she spotted her spouse walking the forest while lost. Plus, if Kolas had managed to make it out past her line of sight, then he was inevitably out of earshot as well. Especially with this blizzard masking and smothering her voice from traveling too far before being batted down.
How could he have believed that Gaia would choose him to be the first Cetra to have a loved one reincarnated? Something that had never occurred in the entire history of their people. His emotions and thoughts must have gotten the better of him. Surely he would run out into the thicket of trees, see that there was nothing there, and then return to her feeling the pang of guilt for being so gullible.
This couldn't be happening.
After waiting behind the hill for him to come back for what felt like forever, it came down to a decision. Strike out into the forest and look for her spouse, hoping to find him before the hallucinations and fatigue got worse for them both. Or stay here sheltered from the wind and wait for him to find his way back. The latter would have been what her teacher would have said to do had he been here with her. If ever lost and away from others. Stay put. It is much easier to find a stationary target than it is a moving one. He was wise, but like most, wisdom doesn't keep you from returning to the planet when your time is decided. She would give anything to have him here with her right now. He'd know what to do.
With her legs pulled up against her chest and her arms folded around them, Falla sat huddled against the cold stone at her back. Facing south she looked back towards where she and Kolas had walked from originally. Somewhere through the miles of forest and barren fields in the distance was her group's camp.
She wondered if they would be sending out a search party soon to look for her and Kolas who should have been back by now with wood and possibly meat to keep others fed and warm. Or if they would have assumed the worst had happened and not risk anyone else being taken by the harsh environment.
Everyone had agreed that the task had outweighed the risks of traveling this far into the frozen lands away from the main group. Falla, Kolas, and their contingent had traveled to investigate the ball of fire that everyone had seen fall from the heavens many weeks ago. Something had burned through the sky and fell to the planet far to the north beyond the Cetra's main temple.
Their assignment from the elders was to determine if the fireball had caused any serious harm to Gaia who had been crying out to them since the event had been witnessed as if she was in immense pain. Her cries had not been this fierce in anyone's recent memory. Something was wrong, and it was far more dire than anything that had happened before. If a wound was discovered, they were to perform the ritual needed to assist the Lifestream in healing the planet. Such was their calling and service to Gaia.
The thought of possibly being alone to fend for herself caused Falla to run scenarios through her mind of how she would attempt to get back to camp and find help from others to come back and search for Kolas. But they would wonder how he got lost in the first place since they are a hunting pair. No one would believe her if she told them the truth, that he had seen the body of his dead mother, nude, stalking the forests in this weather. They would think she was mad and that she possibly had killed him and made up the hallucinations as an excuse.
Cradling her head in her folded arms she looked to the side at the sack she had brought with her. Inside there were enough supplies to get her back to camp before darkness washed over the land. She contemplated the ramifications of taking up that pack and setting off without Kolas. Her mind showed her a scenario of her in the middle of the forest, tracing their path back towards camp and then Kolas returning to the hill only to find her not there. Then he freezes to death all alone. Returning to the planet cold and afraid. A chill traveled down her spine and rustled her out of the daydream.
While the daydream's fading image still lingered at the tip of her mind she ran her fingers along the hides wrapped around her legs and felt at the familiar hilt of the blade she kept tucked in her boot. It always comforted her to know that it was there and that she had access to it if necessary. A totem of sorts that provided a sense of protection despite whatever situation she found herself within. Her teacher had given it to her as a gift when she had come of age and was finally finished with her lessons in taking care of the planet, cultivating life, and understanding that in order for some lives to thrive, others had to be given up. The cycle of life is what her teacher called it.
She wasn't going to let Kolas' cycle end here in the forest alone in the freezing cold. Not while she was still breathing and able to think clearly. She would go against her training and strike out into the forest to find him. The daydreams where he perished alone hurt worse than the ones where she died looking for him.
With that, she leaned over and slid an arm through the strap of her pack and shouldered the weight of it then rose from her seated position against the ridge. As she stood up to her full height she looked up and peering over the ridge, down at her, was the uncovered face of her partner, Kolas.
A scream escaped her as she fell back, startled, and nearly lost her footing against the rocky terrain beneath her boots. Her heart raced and her breathing quickened.
How long had he been laying there and staring over the edge of this ridge towards her?
Why hadn't he called out to her or come down to let her know he was all right?
Taking a few steps back she could see more of his body come into view. His entire form was prone against the freezing snow that had accumulated at the top of this crest. He was nude and the falling snow had collected on his back to an extent that meant he must have been laying there for nearly an hour or more. His eyes remained open, unblinking, and his skin was still warm in color despite the freezing temperature.
Tears welled up in Falla's eyes as she came to the realization that he must have gone out into the forest and gotten lost in the whirlwind of snow and trees. Then when hypothermia set in, he removed his furs to try and stave off the burning sensation that would have crept up and enveloped his entire body. She had heard of this phenomenon happening before. A sick joke that the body plays on itself before it succumbs to the cold.
He had nearly made it back to her before his body gave out. She choked back a cry that had snuck up into her throat and attempted to escape. Imaging him dragging himself along the snow, knowing that she was just on the other side of the hill was a thought that tore into her heart. He had fought so hard to get back to her. And she had just sat there and waited. If she had just remained on lookout perhaps she could have caught sight of him and helped.
Her knees threatened to buckle beneath her, unable to hold up her weight any longer. The thought that his spirit had returned to the planet just as hope was within his grasp was one she couldn't bear to shoulder. She collapsed to the ground, gravity winning the battle against her failing legs. A flurry of snow and ice flew up from the impact and swirled around her before being seized by the blizzard and blended in with the rest of the falling snow.
She stared down at the snow beneath her and allowed the tears to roll off her cheeks and drip into the frozen land. Where they fell, pinpricks were cast into the packed snow that looked like holes punched into a white cloth. She sobbed openly at the realization of what had happened to her lover. The boy she had known since childhood and grew up with. The boy that had fought to get her to allow him to accompany her on hunts. And finally, the loving man that had asked to become part of her family when he asked to join her on this journey through life. She sat there allowing herself to mourn her loss. The pain was deep and knew all the soft spots of her heart to stab at, but it paled in comparison to the guilt that ripped and tore at her conscience and soul. She had waited too long to go and search for him. He had died getting back to her and she did nothing to help him.
Life was a cycle. She'd have to commit him to the planet and give him a proper burial before returning to camp. His spirit couldn't join the others if this rite wasn't observed and she had to give him at least that comfort. If his spirit joined the planet she would see him again when she finally died and passed through the veil to be with everyone else. That thought alone gave her some semblance of respite from the reality she now lived within. She set herself, clenched her fists, and rose from her knees looking up towards the ridge.
His body was gone.
A lump caught in her throat and the chill felt like it bit into her skin as if she was standing there uncovered in the elements. Numerous scenes, each more absurd than the last, raced through her brain as she tried to justify what had happened to his body. This far north in such a thick forest, there were few animals that could make off with his remains. At least not without making a ton of noise or leaving evidence.
And dead bodies don't just get up and walk.
This was obviously another hallucination. She had remained in this blizzard for too long and the cold had seeped into her brain and was showing her nightmares and passing illusions. His body was never there. She didn't see her husband's lifeless body staring at her over the edge of the ridge.
A wave of hope rushed over her and her skin tingled as the swell of warmth cascaded out towards the tips of her fingers and toes. She was going to find her partner. He was still out there cold and afraid. She wiped away the remnants of frozen tears that had clung to her face and began walking towards the top of the ridge.
When she crested the hill she looked out through the crowd of trees and there she saw him. Kolas was standing a few paces away, still nude, his back against one of the pines.
Seeing him there she dug into the snow and made her way over to him as quickly as she could through the drifts that had accumulated against the trees. On the way over, wading through the snow like deep water, she unshouldered her pack and began to rummage through her supplies to find the blanket she kept. She was unable to see his furs if he had taken them off nearby and he would need something to cover up with before the cold ate into and destroyed his skin.
As she came up to him, she unfurled the blanket made of woven fibers with intricate designs spun into the cloth and cast it around his body. She rolled him up and swaddled him like a child and then brought him down off the tree and laid him against her own body. He was still warm which was a good sign. The cold here hadn't seeped in and taken him yet, so there was still time for her to save him and get him back to camp.
She stared into his eyes but there was nothing there looking back at her. Like windows to a home without any candles burning inside. Just an empty place where people once lived. His body seemed to be still clinging to life, but his mind must have broken some time ago. Whatever he saw in his hallucinations must have affected him greatly.
She would have to work quickly as night would be fast approaching this far north. And once darkness was laid out over the forest, there was no way to navigate as you couldn't discern north from south without light or stars to guide the way.
Falla worked hurriedly to get his body situated in the blanket and all his extremities covered from the elements of the storm. Once she got him back to camp, the healers could call on Gaia to mend his mind and body, but mending dead fingers or toes was a feat a bit too far. She just had to get him there first and in one piece, then he would be alright. She would nurse him back. Keep him warm from now on.
After she got Kolas covered, she shouldered her pack and knelt over to grab at the blanket in order to drag him across the packed snow. When she reached down and took hold of the corners she had folded his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.
The movement was quick and nearly imperceptible. Like a creature striking out at its prey from under the brush. She barely had time to register his hand wrapped around her wrist before he sat up and wrapped his opposite arm around her neck and pulled her in close.
"Kolas, please, you're in shock. I have to get you back to camp. Just settle down, conserve your strength," she said to him while her head rested on his shoulder and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. It was a familiar and soothing embrace where she could close her eyes and allow herself a moment to forget that they were both so far from home. "I know you're probably scared, but we're going to get through this. We're going to make it out of here. I promise."
Falla felt something warm and damp slide across her neck and towards the bottom of her jaw. She pulled back to return the kiss that Kolas was guiding up her neck. Reaching behind her shoulder to cradle his hands, her fingers wrapped around a sticky warm piece of flesh where his arm should have been.
Where his arm was wrapped around her neck before there was now a thick tendril made of exposed muscle with streaks of skin mixed in as if his arm had been flayed open by the sharp winds and reformed into some grotesque appendage that was a mockery of an arm. It was covered in a mucus that gave off steam in the frigid air like cooked meat taken freshly off an open flame. The appendage disappeared back into the blanket and peeled it away from his body.
Falla scrambled to her feet, drawing the blade from her boot in a smooth motion as she stood up. Her heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was punching the inside of her chest, trying to break out and escape the presence of this creature. Whatever this monstrosity was, it was not Kolas. It was some depraved homunculus masquerading as the man she loved. She had been tricked by whatever demon this was that haunted this forest.
Instincts took over and she lunged forward, knife in hand, and drove it into his abdomen. There was a wet thud as the skin gave away around the blade and sunk up to the hilt. She could feel the warmth still coming off his familiar body and staring into his eyes she saw no evidence of pain or surprise. The creature was as stoic as if she had simply walked up and tapped it on the stomach with a single outstretched finger. It hadn't even cried out in pain. No sound came from its lips. She wasn't entirely sure if he was even still breathing or not.
She felt a warm sensation begin to seep in through her gloved hand that was around the handle. Where she had stabbed him was near a major artery so he would have been bleeding profusely at this point. She didn't want to see this happening to him, but she had to know if he could still bleed despite the monster he had become.
Looking down to survey the wound she instead saw a black liquid spilling out and crawling up the blade hilt to wrap around her fingers. She lept backward, leaving the knife impaled in his stomach, and threw her gloves off before the dark liquid could travel further up her arm. There on the white powder, she saw it fully envelop her glove and crawl inside. Turning it into something that looked more like a piece of coal against the snow than a glove covered in this creature's blood.
If this monster could take a wound like the one she delivered and still stand, there was little she could do to stop it now. With that realization she planted her heel into the ground and turned to flee the forest and get back to her people. There was safety in numbers. If she made it back, she could put together a hunting party large enough to return and take care of this creature. Something like this couldn't be allowed to survive on Gaia. It was a complete contradiction of what life should be. Surely the planet hadn't created something as strange and as cruel as this creature.
Before she jumped over the ridge and back down the hill to make off towards the camp, she stole one final look over her shoulder to see the creature unfurl two monstrous wings of flesh covered in disgusting bands of exposed muscle and dotted with eyes of varying size that stared at her through the howling storm that cut between the trees.
Without making a noise it curled its wings in on itself and shot up into the treetops, disappearing among the pines and slurry of falling snow and ice.
Falla lept from the ridge and sprinted back south towards camp. While darting between tree trunks and ducking under low limbs, screams tried to claw their way out from her chest. The only thing holding them down was the fear that was tucked away in there with them. If she cried out, that creature would find her, and then it would take her. And she repressed the thought of what it might do with her once it had her trapped and cornered.