DESCRIPTION: Follow Draco as he bed hops between the members of the Golden Trio. Because why not? Assumes established relationships. Not at all canon compliant and loads of "out of character" behaviors. Includes slash. Three-shot.

WARNINGS: M. For mature content, including language and themes. I don't really have a set year for this but let's assume that everyone is at least the age of consent. This may also be borderline crack-ish, though I've never really understood entirely what that warning means. None of the relationships portrayed here are even remotely healthy. Draco is an unapologetic arse in this story and some readers may be offended by that. Not that I care if you are, it is just a story after all, but lackluster manners dictate I at least warn you.

ADDITIONAL AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is three chapters long. They are already written and I will put them up one day at a time until complete. There is the possibility of an epilogue-ish ending wherein they all find out about each other, but I'm undecided as of yet if that will happen. Therefore suggestions and thoughts about the potential fallout will be considered. And now, on with the show...

/hr

BEWARE THE FAIR HAIRED HEIR

He grunted as he thrust one final time, his toes curling before falling to the side in a satisfied heap. The dark haired man who had been beneath him slumped to the bed, his head buried in his arms before peaking out.

Ignoring the questioning glance, Draco rolled over to relax back against the headboard of the conjured bed, one knee bent casually, unaffected by his own nakedness. He reached for his wand and a Muggle cigarette, lighting it first before flicking a none-too-gentle cleaning spell at the other man's posterior.

Potter's chest shot off the bed as he yelped, rubbing at the tender flesh of his backside. "What did you do that for?" he accused, eyeing the blond heir balefully.

Draco didn't answer, instead taking a long drag on his cigarette.

Potter pushed him, sitting up in a huff. "Drake," he whined, sniffing disdainfully when sharp grey eyes bore into his own. Pale eyebrows rose in mocking question when all the Chosen One did was glare.

"That hurt," he said pointedly and huffed before leaning over to snuggle into the crook of Draco's arm and nuzzling his chest.

Draco snorted. "No more than my cock shoved up your arse, I suspect." He could feel Potter frown against him, even as the other man's fingers played with the sparse blond hair on his chest.

Rolling his eyes at the man as he took several starting breathes, only to chicken out on whatever it was he wanted to say, Draco quickly finished his cigarette, snubbing it out on the aged wood of the table beside them, before trying to extract himself from Potter's grip. He bent over, digging through clothing until he found his pants and trousers, pulling them off roughly.

"Where are you going?" Potter asked, still slumped on the bed, hurt flashing in his green eyes.

"Not sure about you, Potter, but I've got a Potions essay to write."

"But I didn't get to come yet." The voice was meek and Draco paused in his redressing to glance up at the blush staining Potter's chest, neck, and cheeks. He stood to his full height then, doing up his tie in quick, efficient motions.

"I've really got to go, Potter," he said as he bent to tie his shoes. "I promise to get you next time, yeah?"

Draco kept as sincere a look as possible on his face, even as Potter bunched his fists up in the sheets in frustration. He sighed, heavily and thoroughly put out, before scooting on the bed next to the agitated wizard. Draco pulled him into a hug, petting at his mop of hair, and shushing him gently.

"Hey, hey. Harry, love," he soothed, rocking the man back and forth as though he were a small child. "I'm sorry you didn't get off, truly, but you knew I was busy when you pulled me in here."

Potter huffed despite relaxing in his arms and Draco chanced a glance at the door. "I really do have to go, Harry." He pulled away to look down into sad eyes. Draco tapped him on the chin at that, leaning down to kiss his pouting lips and nipping when Potter began to respond to the kiss. He pulled away, smirking. "Now, now, Potter. I'll get you next time."

Still Potter pouted but there wasn't nearly as much hurt in it. "Promise?"

Draco's smirk widened. "Promise." He pulled away from Harry, extracting himself once again from the clutching hands, grinding his teeth in exasperation as he saw just how rumpled the whole exchange had left his robes. Putting himself to rights with a wave of his wand and a muttered incantation, he strode purposefully toward the door. Draco reached for the knob, pausing to call over his shoulder. "And Harry." He waited until Potter made eye contact before smiling sweetly. "Don't forget this is our little secret."

Potter blushed a fantastic shade of red, but nodded quickly, his arms wrapping around himself in what Draco recognized to be shame. He smirked. "Later, love." And he was out the door, striding down the corridor toward the dungeons, eager to wash Potter's stench from his skin.