1 - iCarly Makes a Video for Keisha Fabo
Please be aware that this is a Fan Fiction
November 5, 2011
Scene 1
: Oh my gay! Darrell didn't pay his child support fo' the third month in a row! Imma call Breadquanda to see if she can knock, or suck, some sense innah him!
Breadquanda: (The phone rings) Who the fuck is calling me now? I'm tryin-a watch Jerry Springah!
Jerry Springer: So, you're adopting 5-month-old Amaya even though Darrell's the father?
Breadquanda: Oh my gay! Don't do it, !
(the phone rings)
(Breadquanda picks up the phone): Who the fuck is this, cuz I'm tryin-a watch on Jerry!
: This is , and I'm'n'a tell you about Darrell! He ain't'a pay child support for the last three months, so Imma tell you to get him in line!
Breadquanda: Oh my gay, I know just the thing! We'a make a video on the YouTube about him and he'll be embarrassed and then we'll go on Dr. Phil and then he'll pay his child support!
: Okay, but I had tried dat shit befow and he ain't hav'n' an internet so he can't watch it and only like 300 people saw it befow it got banned from YouTube!
Breadquanda: Oh My GAY, but I know this smart bitch named iCarly and she makes videos dat everyone watches! We'a get her support as long as we don't say bad words (making a hand gesture) because fuckin' 7-year-olds havta watch it so they can talk about it at schooowel.
: Oh my gay Imma go tell Keisha Fabo because she the smartest out'a'all of us.
Scene 2
Deltrese: Oh my God, I love seeing suffer on Jerry Springer! Imma go see her just to make fun'a her!
and Breadquanda are walking to Keisha's house when they run into Deltrese who is being a bitch as usual.
Deltrese: Haha, well, well, well, if it isn't Puttin' In and Putted Out! I just watched you on Jerry, and I laughed so hard up my fuckin' head that I was about a'choke on my own tongue! That's what you get when you can't afford a condom!
: It's a good thing my baby is with Bonshiquidilafondria, because Immabouta' beat you up!
Breadquanda: Imma beat her wif my fat!
Deltrese: Now I know you wouldn't — AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
and Breadquanda proceed to beat Deltrese up. When they leave, she is bleeding profusely and is unconscious.
Breadquanda: Let's leave her here befow someone sees us!
: Oh YAAAAAAH!
Breadquanda: Oh, look, it's Keisha's house right there!
Keisha: Hey, y'all
: Keisha, Keisha! Do you have iCarly's number?
Keisha: Yeah! Why?
: Breadquanda thought up dis brilliant plan where iCarly makes a video about how Darrell doesn't pay me child support anymore, and he'll get really embarrassed and then we'll end up on Dr. Phil!
Keisha: Oh my gay, I'm'n'arrange a video chat with them right now!
They arrange the video chat
Carly: So you said that he isn't paying child support?
: Yeah, he ain't, the bastard!
Freddie: Remember not to say that word when we're live.
(eating fried chicken): Oh yeah. Okay.
Sam: I don't really care about cursing, it's just that these dweebs — is that fried chicken? (Sam tries to jump into the screen and breaks the computer)
Keisha: So I guess we'a be on iCarly tonight!
: YEAH, DAWG!
Scene 3
Sam: Good thing that was our spare PearBook….
Carly: Shut UP! I'm trying to figure out this ghetto name because I have to say it! Esha-wana-bafana-qu-iba-la-fondarelah
Sam: It's , stupid!
Sam presses the applause button on her remote, praising herself for being able to say quickly and correctly.
Carly: Fine! You say that one, I say Breadquanda, and Freddie says Keisha Fabo.
Freddie: So we'll video call them at 7:03?
Carly: Yep!
Five hours later
Freddie: 5… 4… 3… 2…
Sam: Sam I Am!
Carly: Carly with a Y!
Sam: Today, before our regular broadcast, we wish to introduce a victim of…
Carly and Sam: Deadbeat Daddy-ism! (a scary-looking graphic of a man appears on the screen)
Sam: There is a woman named , whose ex, Darrell won't pay her child support!
Carly: And her friends, Breadquanda
Freddie: and Keisha Fabo
Carly: Have brought her here for a
Sam and Carly: Live Video Chaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttt! (Sam presses a button on her remote and applause starts)
: If you've ever seen me on Maury or Jerry, I've been attemptinamatin'a' get Darrell to own up to his baby for six months now, but he in return stopped paying child support! So we made a rap just for you, Darrell. I've got my friend Bonshiquidilafondria with me, and she is gonna do my dance part while I pessify mah baby to keep her from cryin'.
Keisha:
Darrell, Darrell, like, it is your baby
Darrell, Darrell, don't be actin' shady
Darrell, Darrell, like it is your baby
You say you're droppin' dollars on this baby, right?
But how come you ain't be at home with him at night?
Where was you when he first walked on his two feet?
Come on, boy, I wanna see the receipts!
Freddie, Sam, and Carly: WOO-HOO
Sam: That was really good!
Carly: Let's see the comments.
"Breadquanda? What the f*** kind of name is that? Was your mom eating bread when she gave birth to you?"
Breadquanda: Yes, she was.
Sam: Another
"I finally can spell it! !"
: Actually, it's just spelled "Capital E – Capital dubayah – Capital N – Capital A – Capital A – N – D – R – E – A. EWNAAndrea. I just don't like people mispronouncing my name.
Carly: I have a feeling that people will mispronounce it anyway.
Freddie: Oh My God! There's a gun!
Darrell: Why you talkin' shit bout me, bitches?
Freddie: I just turned off our video. Now to our regular broadcast.