I love you. I always will. But it's killing me knowing that you're out there, fighting this war, and I'm stuck back here with only the portraits for company. Why couldn't I have come with you? Am I that much of a liability?
I already know what you're going to say, so don't bother. You'll tell me that it's not worth the risk of putting me on the front line, that I've already done my part by giving such "valuable information", that it's up to the rest of you to act on it. I accept that, really I do, but it's so frustrating at times.
Could you have imagined me saying this a few years ago? Back when we hated each other? If anyone had told me then that I'd end up falling for you, of all people, I'd have hexed them into oblivion before telling them they needed their head examining. But things change. I realised everything I'd considered important really wasn't; you made me realise.
You asked me, in the middle of one of our famous arguments, if I really wanted to be a lowly minion, when I considered myself superior to you all. A minion to a halfblood, at that. You got me thinking about it for the first time, and I guess that's when I changed my mind, and betrayed everything I'd ever known. It still took months before the rest of the Order of the Phoenix began to accept me though – you kept me sane during those times, treated me like a friend, like you did Harry, Neville, Luna…
You know what happened after the Order took me in, all the death threats from my father, how I'd "disappointed" him etc etc. And when I started to fall for you… I'd been living in Grimmauld Place for months, and we were hiding from Molly Weasley one day (trying to get out of cleaning, no doubt). You told me I'd changed, that you almost didn't recognise me any more. Then you hugged me, and I found myself hugging you back. That's when you did something even more unexpected, and kissed me. I guess I never really knew what love was as a child, but you showed me. I'm so grateful to you for that.
When are you coming back? I miss you so much. I know you write, but you can't really say anything in case the owl goes missing and the letter falls into the wrong hands. When you do come back, I've got a surprise for you. It's in a small box, sparkly, expensive… Guessed yet? OK, I'll tell you (I'm never going to send this letter – it's going in the fire as soon as I've finished, so it doesn't matter). If you say yes, my darling, it'll be an engagement ring. Yes, that's right, I'm asking you to marry me.
I love you, now and forever.
Your Ferret.