If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.
Harry sighed, sitting at the kitchen table. His kitchen table. And it really was his. Bought and paid for and fuck he couldn't do this.
Harry's head fell, banging loudly against his kitchen table making him wince in pain but he didn't care, at least that pain was physical. It would go away soon enough and he would be fine. A small tear escaped but he quickly wiped away. No, the time of crying, and wishing, and hoping was gone now. He was just going to suck it up and move on with his life, like a real man would.
Harry slowly lifted his head up off the table and glanced around. He could see the living room from there, his living room. No, it was their living room. His and Ginny's. And by God he didn't want it. He didn't want the "us" and the "our" of his life to be him and Ginny, he wanted it to be…
No, Harry mentally scolded himself, don't think about him or you'll just get sad, and Ginny will be home soon and she'll probably start asking questions so don't think about him.
Besides, he'd made a promise to himself after the war, he was going to make the best out of whatever he got. And Ginny was a fine girl really, any man would be lucky to have her. Harry just wished it was any man that got her, not him. Maybe he should just go off an be eternally single. Maybe that would be easier…
But he couldn't do that. Everyone expected him to be with Ginny and for them to have lots of little babies and live happily ever after. Or at least appear to live happily ever after. No way was he going to be living happily ever after pretending to be in love with a woman when the only he really loved about her was her brother.
There it was, those fatal words, that fatal name. Ron.
But it was too late now anyway. Ron was with Hermione, and Harry was forever saddled with unrequited love for the red headed man.
But then there was Ginny.
She was there, she was willing, and he'd always heard them say "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." So why shouldn't he at least try to make it work.
He'd pretty much sacrificed his whole life for others, why not finish the job and sacrifice the rest of it to make everyone happy. That was what he'd always wanted, wasn't it? He was always fighting for others anyway, he supposed he just never got the chance to fight for himself, and it was too late to start now.
Harry heard the door to the apartment, no, their apartment, open and close.
"Harry!" Ginny's voice called, "I'm home!"
"I'm in here Gin," Harry called back, his voice sounded hoarse, and unused. Which was true. Ginny did most of the talking these days anyway. He just sat by and silently listened, that was what good boyfriends did anyway, right? Besides, they had nothing in common. Sure, there was quidditch but that was just so… not right. He used to talk about quidditch with Ron, and no way was he going to ruin that by discussing it with Ginny.
"Did you have a nice day?" Ginny asked conversationally, Harry just nodded. "That's great, I had a pretty good day too, I stopped by to visit…" and the rest of the conversation was a blur. Heck the rest of the day was a blur. With Harry moving like a zombie, doing what was asked of him and spending the rest of the time pretending he didn't exist.
He cooked dinner, he ate it, he watched some telly, listened to the wizard radio, climbed into bed with Ginny, made loveless love to her, and then curled up on the farthest side of the bed and prayed to whatever Gods existed that he would stop existing.
It was Saturday, and the only thing that gave Harry the strength to climb out of bed was the fact that Ron was coming today. Ron. He smiled at the thought of him. Harry sat up, peering around his room that was already bright with sun. Ginny must have already woken up. Harry climbed out of his bed, slipping on his slippers and stumbling into the bathroom. It was easy to tell who's side was who's, Ginny's was clean and organized, his looked like a bomb had gone off.
He had to dig a bit to locate his toothpaste.
Dressed and groomed Harry came into the kitchen where Ginny was preparing their lunch.
"Hermione called," Ginny said, "they'll be a bit late." Harry knew it annoyed Ginny that he insisted they do some things the muggle way, like television and telephones, but they were pretty much the few things that kept Harry going. Nothing like a good old soap opera, as much as he hated to admit he liked those.
A bit miffed that he was going to have to wait more to see Ron, Harry headed back into his room. Going to his desk he pulled out his journal. Ginny called it a diary, but Harry insisted it was a journal. She would probably kill him if she knew he was writing in it. Journals were for girls. Which was half the reason he kept on writing in it.
He didn't write much, just the usual, blabber about the boring day and how excited he was for Ron to be coming because even if they were just friends Ron's could always make him smile.
"Writing in that thing again?" Harry slammed the cover shut.
"No," he said quickly.
"Yes you are," Ginny said, Harry didn't even see her wave her wand, only seeing as his journal flew out of his hands and into hers.
"What do you even write in this thing…" Ginny began to open it.
"NO!" Harry shouted, Ginny looked slightly startled but stopped opening it anyway. She closed it.
"Come on Harry," she demanded. Meekly Harry got up and followed. Ginny went to the bathroom first, where she promptly tossed the book in the toilet, before grabbing Harry and making sure he followed her to the kitchen.
Ron and Hermione were already there, how had Harry not heard them arrive?
"Hello Harry," Hermione said, giving Harry a tight hug.
"Hey mate!" Ron said cheerfully, hugging him just as soon as Hermione was done. Harry relished in the contact.
"Lunch is ready!" Ginny said cheerfully, shooting Harry a warning look that said 'I'll deal with you later' and served the food up.
Lunch was pleasant enough, Hermione and Ginny did most of the talking while Harry tried his best not to get caught staring at Ron. Once it was over the two girls went into the living room to talk more, leaving Harry and Ron to do the dishes.
"So, how've you been?" Ron asked, cleaning up one of the bands while Harry put things away.
"Oh, great!" Harry lied, "you?"
"Same," Ron replied.
"How are things with you and Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Fine," Ron replied simply, "and you and my sister?"
"Same," Harry said.
At loss of what to say next they finished cleaning the kitchen in silence, God only knew what Ron was thinking about, but Harry was most definitely not contemplating Ron's 'fine' when he asked about him and Hermione either, nope. And he definitely wasn't thinking about how perfect Ron's arse was, and he most definitely wasn't thinking about how much he really wanted to run his finger's through Ron's hair and…
Don't go there Harry James Potter, he scolded himself, at least not until Ron is gone.
Done with their task of cleaning Harry went and joined the girls while Ron excused himself to go to the bathroom. Harry sat down, listening to their bland gossip, trying not to think about anything.
"Ron? What is it?" Hermione asked. Harry's head shot up at the sound of Ron's name. Ron was standing there, looking very confused. In his hands was a leather bound notebook that Harry recognized immediately. Oh crap. Ginny had left it in the toilet, and Ron must have seen it and gotten curious and pulled it out and dried it off and now he was reading it and in that thing were all of Harry's secrets and God only knows how many times he confessed his love to Ron in it and now Ron was standing there reading it and… Harry tried his best not to look as terrified as he felt.
"Harry," Ron asked quietly, "what is this?"
"Oh, it's just Harry's silly diary," Ginny replied. Ron ignored her.
"Harry," he said again, very quietly, "what is this?"
"It's just some diary," Harry said, standing up and reaching for it, but Ron pulled it away before he could lay his hands on it.
"It's… it's nothing, please Ron, just ignore it," Harry nearly begged.
"I'm not going to ignore it, not with what I just read."
"Please…" Harry whispered.
"Is it true?" Ron demanded.
"I…"
"Just tell me, is it true?"
Harry just nodded.
"Every word?" Ron asked.
"Every single one," Harry replied.
"Why the bloody Hell didn't you tell me?" Harry looked up at him, Ron's face was plastered with Harry's favorite crooked grin of his.
"What?"
"It would have been so much easier," Ron said, reaching out and cupping Harry's cheek in his hand. Harry didn't say anything.
"Ron what are you…" Hermione said. But Harry didn't hear the rest because Ron leaned down and kissed him flat on the lips.
It didn't last long, but those few seconds quickly moved up to occupy the number one place of the best moment in Harry's entire life.
"What the HELL?" Ginny's shriek broke them apart. Harry looked up fearfully into Ginny's eyes. She raised her hand as if to slap him but Harry soon found himself blocked from her view, as Ron moved himself in front of Harry, protecting him.
"Don't even think about it Ginny," Ron growled. Harry couldn't see what Ginny did, only that he heard the front door of the apartment slam a few minutes later. They stood in terse silence for a few moments before Ron suddenly turned around and pulled Harry tightly into his arms.
"So this is it then," Hermione said quietly. Harry's eyes flew towards her, having almost forgotten her, she looked… happy. She stood up calmly, and patted Harry gently on the shoulder.
"I'll just give you two some privacy then," Hermione said, "I'll see if I can find Ginny. Maybe calm her down," she smiled lightly, giving Ron a gentle pat on the arm before turning and leaving. Quietly closing the door behind her.
"Ron?" Harry asked quietly.
"Yes?" Ron replied.
"What just happened?" he whispered. Ron was silent for a moment, before loosening his grip on Harry, and pushing him away so that Ron could see his face better. He held him there, smiling down at Harry.
"Honestly I have no idea," Ron replied, "but it got me you so honestly I don't care." He smiled. Harry grinned back. Ron leaned down and captured Harry's lips again, but this time there was no one there to interrupt them.
AAUTHOR'S VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Chapter two is ACTUALLY not chapter two, but rather the EXACT SAME STORY but with a different ending! I wrote this story with two endings and not able to decide which one to use decided to publish both.