Mwahahaha my 3rd fic! This is great! I should PROBABLY finish my 1st one, but too bad. I'm gonna write this one! And there's a special bonus story (that some of you might remember) after the main feature!
The sad and dismal truth: I, as shocking as it may seem, DO NOT OWN Inuyasha OR the rest of the cast (gasp!). I KNOW. I'M SURPRISED TOO.
Summary: Shippo decides to put some of his soul on paper. It's getting too hard for him to keep some secrets...
OH and here are some symbol guides...
---------is the start of the story and the end
--!!--is where his writing is broken by something that's actually happening.
And that's about all that you need to know....
---------heh it's starting
Dear Journal,
I...I don't know quite how to say this. It's been plaguing me for a while...whether or not I should tell her. But I fear her reaction. Oh Kagome...if only you knew.
It's just getting so hard to keep it to myself, you know? It's heavier every time I see her, or Inuyasha smacking me, thinking I'm just some twerpy kid. But...the truth is...I'm NOT just some little kid. I'm about 20 in human years.
I bet you're wondering why my age matters (who I'm referring to, I don't know. I want someone to read this...but...no, I don't want that). I feel like such a pervert. I AM such a pervert. Because you see, since Kagome thinks I'm just some little kid, she'll let me sleep with her and sit all over her. Sometimes having a baby face has its advantages—wait, what am I saying? THIS IS WRONG!! I shouldn't even be DOING something like this. I know better. It's horrible to mislead all my friends. Especially Kagome...she's the one who helped me with the Thunder Brothers. But...I love her so much. It hurts. I...used to think I was strong but...she showed me how dependent I am. I need her now.
But therein lies the problem...Inuyasha loves her too. He's done everything except tell anyone. It's so obvious...the way he fawns over her...how can I even compete with him? I'm some fox demon whose physical advancements stopped at age 8, and he's...he's stronger than I'll ever be. And hotter. To be blunt, he is. Just look at him! He's got long silver hair that cascades down his shoulders...the height, the build, the face, everything! He even overcame the fact that he's a half demon! What the hell do I have? I HAVE A FRIGGIN BOW IN MY HAIR. I have a tail that looks like someone zapped it. My eyes are too big for my face, my hair is dry and deathly, and the only semi-helpful thing I can possibly do is PLANT MUSHROOMS ALONG A PATH TO SHOW WHERE I AM ONCE I'M LOST AND OTHER TRICKSTER MAGIC. But that's what I am, isn't it...a trickster. I never thought about it. I'm tricking people even when I don't mean to. I—
--!!--(a/n: I have to put stuff after the dashes or they won't show up)
"Hey Shippo, what're you scribbling madly in that book of yours?" AH CRAP, KAGOME!
"Uh, uh NOTHING! I'm, um, ergh, WRITING FOOTNOTES!!!" Why I'm smiling extra broadly I'm STILL not sure.
"Really? What book ya reading, whelp?" INUYASHA TOO? Geez, is the whole world out to get me?
"It's...it's...Paradise Lost!"
"Never heard of it." Inuyasha, don't walk over here...oh no he's going to pick up the book! HE'S GOING TO READ IT! Think fast, Shippo, think fast—
"Oh Inuyasha, it's a great book! Here I'll explain it to you..." THANK YOU KAGOME. Yes lead him away, my fair sweet—AAHH WHAT AM I THINKING?
--!!--(a/n: moving on...)
Sorry about that...what a close call. I know I'm not going to be able to keep my secret much longer...why am I writing this down? I should probably burn it...I don't WANT anyone to find out. It was stupid to even START this. But...I want someone to know! It's so hard...to keep yourself hidden from your best friends...the people who stick up for you when no one else does...but what if they don't like me when they realize how old I am? I can't think about that...I can't handle it, even hypothetically. Dammit. Now I DEFINITELY don't want anyone to know...but what if someone finds this? Where am I going to put this book...where no one's going to read it...I KNOW! In my shirt! It's small enough to fit...it's about the size of a "CD case" (Kagome showed me one) and not too bulgy, so it should work. And if it doesn't, I'll just find somewhere else. I'll get Kirara to help me or something. She knows where to hide stuff. One time, she had this small rat demon that she had killed, and she wanted to save it for later, so she put it in Inuyasha's bed—
WHY AM I SAYING THIS?
No one cares about that! Then again, no one cares about this either...after all, I am just the little kid. I hate being the stupid little kid. Always the one with the high piercing voice. It's so hard to make that now...at first it wasn't. When I first met Kagome I was scared enough to piss myself, so of course my voice was high...and I hadn't really hit puberty yet, so it's not like my voice was low ANYWAY. But now...it's really hard. I can barely breathe at the end of the day, my throat is so sore. I bet you're wondering if it hurts so much, why am I still doing it?
I'm as clueless as you.
I guess I'm afraid of losing all that I have...Sango, Miroku, Kirara, Inuyasha and Kagome...seeing their shock, maybe even their horror...especially Inuyasha (after all, I DID tell him to go bathe with Kagome (and feigned not knowing what that was) once). I've gotta stop talking about this. It's driving me insane. At least now I've told someone...I feel a little better. Well...maybe not. Ah, we're moving on from camp (we took a little break for some water) (Kagome sensed a jewel shard). Wish us luck against the demon (when I say us, I mean everyone BUT me).
---------it ended poo
And that's that! Wasn't that lovely? Poor Shippo...I bet you never thought about him being older than he seems, eh? Don't worry...there's going to be some comedy...Ehehehe sexual comedy (that's right I said SEXUAL. Deal with it if you're some overprotective parent...or an impressionable young one). But perhaps I should prepare you for the worst...with this...special...EXTRA!!
note: My friend and I were im-ing each other and we got to talking about Inuyasha...it started out with a movie. Please note, I'm not going to tie in Shippo turning into a tampon into the actual story. I just think he CAN. And sorry it's so rambly...and long. But skip it if you don't want to read it.
Person 1: such an odd movie...who thinks up these plots?
Person 2: hehe
Person 2: u begin to wonder
Person 1: yeah I know...
Person 2: they're almost as insane as us otaku (note: otaku are extreme anime fans)
Person 1: ...maybe otaku think them up...?
Person 1: and have matching outfits?
Person 1: like in Inuyasha?
Person 1: with all the same pants...
2: no no no otaku would have schoolgirls like Kagome everywhere
1: maybe it was a "buy the same 2 outfits, get the 3rd one free..."
1: oh true
2: hehehe
2: or they were donated from goodwill
1: hehehe that too
1: "mommy this is CRAP"...I know, let's give it to the priestesses!
1: ...then why does Inu wear one...?
2: AHAHHAA
1: ...he's a girl!!
2: er
1: he just has to come out and say it ;)
1: hehehehe
2: kikyo gave him an extra
1: no wonder his brother wants to pummel him
1: brother to a crossdresser...
2: they were tired of seing his ding dong running around
1: heheheh that too
2: but sesshy runs around too in girl clothes 2
2: only he looks hot in them
1: oh yes...maybe it's like a family of hot cross dressers...?
1: INUYASHA FOR THE LAST TIME PUT SOME CLOTHES ON...WE'RE NOT HIPPO DEMONS
2: GOD INUYASHA NOO
2: WE DONT WANNA C HOW FAR U CAN PISS
1: hehehehe...NO DON'T PUT YOUR LITTLE DOO LADEY ON THAT!!
2: NONONONONONO THATS A KID
1: ::mousetrap snaps::
2: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
1: hehehehe kid with mousetrap
2: poor inu
2: now u know why he wears pants
1: hehehe the story behind the pants
1: that's why inuyasha never takes them off
2: thats great
2: or the body under the pants
2: those are pretty cool hammer pants
1: oh I know!
2: he's lucky kikyo gave them to him
1: heh yeah, otherwise his little attachment might have...
2: because if miroku knew he was a eunich he would suck inuyasha up
1: well, he wouldn't have been a full male package, if you will
1: oh he would
2: declaring him a "menace to female society"
2: hehehe
2: and "unfit for love"
1: hahahahaha...and then he's like "bear my children anyway"
2: ahahahahhaa
2: that's why inuyasha isnt a letch like miroku
1: and it all makes sense...
1: ::light comes on in head::
2: ooooooo better yet
2: he's been neutered
1: ...!!! too horny for his own good
1: hehehehe
2: someone made mountain oysters when he was asleep
1: oooh yes...
2: mmmmmmmm
2: AHAHAHAHA
1: slurp
1: :D hehehe
2: yesssssssss
1: yeah!
2: :-D
1: it could be a story...Inu and company go to the vet
2: (laughing so hard now)
1: and inu loses something on the way
1: something rather important
2: HAHAHAHA
2: oops now how did that fall out
1: hehehehehe
2: miroku: wow ur pretty small for a dog
1: snort hehehehehehe
2: I'm bigger that that
1: and the war of manhoods is on
2: sango: WTF?? (whack)
1: hehehehehehe
2: ok boys pull em out nice n easy
1: laughing so hard...
1: hahahahahahahahahahahaha
1: and then shippo's like no I rule you all
2: miroku: crap
1: and kagome's like OO it's so big
1: for such a small creature...
2: shippo i thought that was a stick
2: in the bed
1: hehehehe he doesn't know his own functions quite yet ;)
2: oO
1: hehehe
2: miroku: yeah well wait till i see a pretty girl
2: or think of one
1: and then we'll see who really is the master
2: thoughts : (sesshoumaru, if onlly u knew)
1: it's a war of the manhoods!! and sango and kagome are like dear God run, run!!
1: oh man and then sesshy comes in and he's like LOOK i'm walking the dog
1: with my pants
2: SANGO: OH MY GOD HOW DID U DO THAT
1: hehehehehahahahaha
2: oO
2: miroku: whatever so sesshy' san inch longer, doesnt matter as long as i'm more flexible that all of u (grin)
1: ooohhh hehehe :D
2: watch this hip action
1: yes go miroku!!!
2: woohooo
1: it's like hypnotics with hips
1: 101
2: kagome oO
1: xactly
2: great huh
1: vair!!!!!!
2: poor inuyasha got dizzy
1: hehehehehehe he's like OO I didn't even know it could MOVE that way...
2: sesshy's like,,,,,,,,,, (i wonder how that feels)
1: and then kaede comes in and is like DEAR GOD!!!!
1: hehehehehe sesshy...
2: MIROKU TAKE ME
1: hahahahahaha
2: grin
1: Kaede: I WILL BEAR YOUR CHILDREN
1: i want to...
2: NO UR TOO OLD
2: GO AWAY
1: and then sango's like no I will bear your children
2: adn then sesshy's like NO I"LL BEAR UR KIDS
1: and the whole time naraku's taking notes and checking out sesshy
1: I believe in miracles...
2: (hmmmmmm how can a HUMAN be bigger than me)
1: hehehehehe
2: and miroku's still going
2: hahahahaha watch and learn
1: throughout this whole thing hehehehehehehe
2: miroku: look around the world
2: walk the dog
1: hehehehehehehehe
1: cat's cradle
2: look it can even dance
1: (snort) hehehehehehe
2: (six flags theme)
2: do do do do do dooooooodoooooooo do do do do dooooooooooodo
1: and then kikyo's
1: the old man!!!!
1: cuz she is so evil
1: and wrinkly
2: pulls out hers
1: ...!!!!! OO
1: i bet she IS a guy...
1: hahaha
2: inuyasha: WTF
2: naraku : even' SHE"S bigger than me
1: yeah and she's like "didn't you know...? how'd you miss THAT??"
1: hahahahahahaha
2: inuyasha: oooooooooo i thought that was where u kept ur extra arrows
1: snort VAIR extra arrows
2: kikyo: i do , but i only fire it when necessary
2: everyone else: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
1: ooohhh hoho
2: mwahahahaha
1: yeah poor kago--WAIT, if she's a reincarnation...
1: that means...
2: no no no
1: ::lifts up skirt:: AHHHHH!!!
2: ooooo it's safe
2: miroku: DO IT AGAIN
1: thank goodness...
1: hehehehe
2: miroku: I DOnt think u checked well enough
1: here, let me feel around up there and check for you
2: kagome: whatev..............wait what's that
2: OH shit
2: i feel it
1: hahahahahaha
2: miroku: LEMME C
1: ...!!! OMG, it IS there...
1: duh duh duh!!!
2: cut it off
2: NOW
2: but kagome
2: NOWW
1: ::inuyashas gets scissors gladly::
1: ::sesshy beats him to it::
1: sesshy's like YES!!!
2: miroku pushes them aside grabs kagome and runs off
1: hehehehehehehehehehe
2: (this is a dream come true, she's got the best of both worlds)
1: ooohhh hehehehehe
1: miroku's gone caesar!
1: (aka he's bi)
2: nononnno
1: ...no?
2: he is just interested
1: ooohh okay ;)
2: and a bit intrigued
2: sesshy is bi
1: hehehehe go sesshy!
1: hearts for the hot man
1: er, demon
2: snaps too
2: kagome: let go
miroku: but wait...........
2: (sesshy pops up)
1: hehehehehe and he's like no my turn
2: ME FIRST
1: ::pushes miroku aside like toddlers on playground::
2: grabs miroku n leaves
1: ...!! AHAHAHAHAHA.
2: hahahahhahaha
1: oooooohhhh dearie...
1: and kagome's like ...
1: and sango's just like...this made no sense!!!
1: and shippo looks at her with fawny eyes and is like "and how..."
2: suddenly her boomerang changes shape
1: snort
2: and she's like
2: SO THATS what body part this was made from
2: naraku grabs his and grimaces
1: OOOOOHHHH hahahahahahaha
1: and then inu's like all for inu, all for inu!
2: come to papa
1: ::hugs it tightly::
1: naraku's like no wait, I NEED that more than you...
1: inu: yeah like u know what to do
1: loser
1: ooohhh yes ;)
2: ahahahha
1: hehehehehehehe
1: and then sango's like HOW do YOU know what to do, inu?
1: and he just runs away with it
2: MINE
1: hehehehehe
1: and sango is like "......"
2: runs deep into the woods
2: CRAP GIVE THAT BACK INUYASHA
2: NOOOOOOOOOOO
1: ...so THAT'S why sango never needed a guy around
1: she had her own device
2: MY BOOMERANG HAS BEEN VIOLATED by someone else
1: hehehehehe
2: aahahahaha
1: I was using that...!
2: slowly backs away
2: oh well ...............NARAKU
1: hehehehe and he's like I SCORED WITH SOMEBODY!!!
1: and then shippo looks around and his eyes fall on concubine kaede...
1: and he's like OH HELL NO
2: sang: no .................i just wanna watch u
2: naraku: damn
1: hehehehehe
1: and she's like go for it, baboon man
1: ::looks at appendages:: er, boy
2: shippo slowly backs away as kikyo begins to slither toward him
1: hehehehehe
2: "PLEASE SHIPPO, only u can scratch my itch, help me"
1: ooohhh and he's like...help? PLEASE??
2: shippo's mind( NARAKU's lookin pretty hot right now)
2: oh kagome
1: he's like oh I took care of you
2: hehehe
2: that's why he n kaede r so close
1: oooohhhh yes it is...she uses him as her tampon!!!
2: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
2: oh dear lord, i'm laughing so hard
1: I just couldn't resist, with his tail and all...
1: I mean, what does it look like?
2: thats why his fur looks like that
1: hehehehe I know!
2: all coppery n crap
2: hehehe
1: and so fluffy
1: hehehehehe no wonder girls like him
2: no wonder inu doesnt like him
1: yeah that too hehehehehehe
2: kagome's carryaround tampon
2: inu: hey where's shippo
1: hahahahaha so that's why he disappears from many episodes at a time...
1: and kagome's like oh shippo's around...
2: miroku: yeah and why does ur skirt look so funny today kagome
1: HAHAHAHAHA...
2: kag: o u kno new underwear
1: and miroku's like can i test it out?
2: miroku: WTF? dont tell me u switched to granny panties
1: hehehehehehe
2: sango: U LIE U WORE THOSE LAST WEEK
2: everyone: Oo
1: hahahahahahahaha and they're like sango how do you know...
2: sango: (Big blush)
1: sango's like...what? I mean, I just, well...HER ASS IS IN MY FACE ALL DAY, WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA LOOK AT??
1: shippo:: mff!!
1: inu: what was that?
2: miroku: so U like kagome too
2: MASS ORGY
1: oh yes it is...although shippo's too busy to be involved
1: and then kirara's like OO ?
2: shippo: YEAH I DONT NEED Y"ALL
2: I"LL DO IT MYSELF
1: ewww and then myoga!!!!
1: ewwww shippo!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
2: ahahahhaha
2: miroku: sigh i wish i was a flea sometimes
1: you know there's an illicit sex tape floating around that they had to cut out of the show...
2: then i could fit anywhere
2: yup
2: i said hug him inuyasha not MAKE OUT with him
2: SANGO put DOWN the camera
1: hehehehe and then inu's like DAMMIT
1: ::sango runs away laughing::
2: miroku: (turns to kagome) MY place or urs
1: rumiko: ...-- OO i've created a monster...
1: kagome: oh, let's just go right here!
1: shippo: can I join you too?
1: miroku: the more the merrier, birth control pill
1: shippo: ...what?
2: rumiko: man first ranma now inuyasha, geez how was i to know they'd turn out gay. ranma doesnt even wanna be a boy anymore
1: hehehehe
2: shippo: WHAT's birth control
1: miroku: you're um, involved some how...now I need you to become a tampon again
1: shippo: ...?!? I charge I hope you know
2: kagome: Oo WTF what have U been using shippo
1: Miroku: ...
2: Shippo U need to USE SOMETHING??
2: kag: what about stds
2: miroku: we dont have any
2: kagome: great pulls out her yellow bookbag and dumps it out, throwing away all the condoms
1: hehehehehe
2: mirkou: that's why it's so heavy
2: inuyasha blushes
2: sango: CRAP THATS WHY U LEAVE to find "kikyo" so much
1: Inu: I'm a busy man...
1: kag: a MINUTE man...
1: all collectively look at ground
1: hehehehehehe
2: and come back so soon
2: miroku : ur a disgrace to man
1: inu: yeah well you do it with a preying mantis
1: miroku: guilty as charged ;)
2: shippo : yeah i'm at least a minuite and a half
1: kagome: WTF SHIPPO???
2: miroku : but i last allllllll night long
1: kaede: oh yeah i can vouch for him
2: no stamina at all
1: i can never look at inuyasha the same EVER again
1: you know they're gonna say something and we're just gonna laugh
2: HAHAHA sango's boomerang
1: like kagome's gonna be like "where's shippo?"
2: whenever she throws it
1: oh yeah heheheheheheha
2: HAHAHAHAHA
1: and then we're like oh look inu's pants look baggier... ;)
2: hahahaha
2: what's that lump
1: hehehehehehe
2: that's why kagome takes so many bathes after talking to sesshoumaru
1: ooohhh yeah
1: and why her bag's so heavy...
1: and why her skirt bulges on ocassion
1: and where inu actually goes...
1: and miroku's "exorcism of demons" with much pelvic activity
2: ahahaha
Did you guys actually make it down here? THAT'S AMAZING. And sorry for those who are like WTF this is so wrong...I was going to edit it for content, but then nothing would be there. What a waste. Please R and R! Okay why is the extra longer than the feature...?