~~~You think you have problems?~~~
Spike drank another glass of brandy at the bar just on the outside of Sunnydale. He needed to get away from it all. Escape, if you will. Someone sat closely beside him at the bar and asked in a rich creamy voice, "Could you buy me a drink?" Spike turned to his right and gazed up with his blood shot eyes at Darla. "Darla..." He let his eyes trail down her beautiful face, her silky neck and shoulder, her breasts and to her stomach where he was a bit confused. "...knocked up..."
Spike sighed and turned back to the bar. "Now I know what 42 brandies will do to a fella when he's depressed, thinking about the good old days, and blondes."
"Martini," Darla said simply, nodding to the bartender, and then she gave Spike a hard punch on the shoulder. "Spike! It's me, Darla, I'm back. And yes I'm knocked up so get over it."
"Blimey. Never knew vamps could..." Spike trailed off, motioning his hands, not able to find the words to explain what he meant, but Darla understood that he meant her pregnancy.
"Neither could I, but hey, that's what happens when you don't use protection I guess."
"Who did it?" Spike paid for Darla's drink and drank some more brandy. Darla pursed her lips and her eyes grew dark. "Angel." Spike coughed his drink back into the glass. "Angel! That bloody poofter still around?" He shook his head. "You'd think that he'd have no way left to reproduce, but I suppose that's what 200 gallons of hair gel can do to a guy. Vamp side effects." Darla turned to Spike, "And what does hair bleach do?" she said coolly. He downed his drink and glared at her, "Sod off."
Darla chuckled but suddenly buckled over in pain, her hands clutched over her large stomach. "Oh god..." Spike sat up straight and became alarmed, "You alright?" Darla sighed and the pain was gone. "Yes. This happens from time to time." Spike rolled his eyes and lit up a smoke. Darla immediately took the cigarette from Spike's 2 fingers and took a long drag herself and put it out in an ashtray. Spike attempted to light another cigarette, "Hey! It's not like it's gonna hurt the little buggar." Darla stared at the rising smoke from the ashtray. "It's human." Spike stopped and slowly put his pack away.
"...Bloody hell...What else is Angel groomin himself with that I don't know about? Did he bring you back 'cause he needed a good shag or what? Poofter." He scoffed.
Darla started to run her finger around the rim of her glass, not even bothering to drink it at all. "Actually, a law firm brought me back. They were having problems with Angel. What about you? What brought you back to Sunnydale?"
Spike didn't even look at Darla. "Buffy..." "Big surprise there," She said sarcastically. "It's always about a girl." "...I'm in love with her." Darla didn't know what to say for a few moments. She couldn't really do much but shake her head in disbelief and say, "Well, I knew you had problems Spike, but this one tops them all. What did Drusilla do to you to make you turn around like that?" Spike slouched unhappily. "She left me for a chaos demon."
"Rough..." She winced, "That girl always had bad taste." Spike shot her a surprised look. She jumped, "Oh! No offence." He sighed and took another drink. "You're better off without Buffy anyway."
"But we kissed! That should mean something!" Spike whined. "Angel and I did a bit more than just kiss and does it look like he gives a shit?" She said in her defense. Spike nodded, "If I knocked up a lady, I'd at least stick around." Darla agreed, "And if I kissed a guy, I'd want to be with him maybe a century."
Spike smiled warmly at Darla. "We wouldn't be that bad for each other ya know." Darla looked up at Spike and smiled back. 'Yeah..." They stared at each other for a few minutes. Darla did admit to herself that Spike looked quite handsome with his leather jacket and he was quite nice to be around. Spike also thought in his own mind that Darla was extremely beautiful and her sarcastic wit was pretty attractive. They both suddenly snapped out of their fantasyland quite startled. How could they even have one thought of getting together and let things...happen! Extremely embarrassed and disturbed, they turned away from each other quickly, and Spike sighed, "Man we have serious problems." Darla nodded profusely, grabbing the pack of cigarettes from Spike's jacket, and trying to light one up.
THE END
Spike drank another glass of brandy at the bar just on the outside of Sunnydale. He needed to get away from it all. Escape, if you will. Someone sat closely beside him at the bar and asked in a rich creamy voice, "Could you buy me a drink?" Spike turned to his right and gazed up with his blood shot eyes at Darla. "Darla..." He let his eyes trail down her beautiful face, her silky neck and shoulder, her breasts and to her stomach where he was a bit confused. "...knocked up..."
Spike sighed and turned back to the bar. "Now I know what 42 brandies will do to a fella when he's depressed, thinking about the good old days, and blondes."
"Martini," Darla said simply, nodding to the bartender, and then she gave Spike a hard punch on the shoulder. "Spike! It's me, Darla, I'm back. And yes I'm knocked up so get over it."
"Blimey. Never knew vamps could..." Spike trailed off, motioning his hands, not able to find the words to explain what he meant, but Darla understood that he meant her pregnancy.
"Neither could I, but hey, that's what happens when you don't use protection I guess."
"Who did it?" Spike paid for Darla's drink and drank some more brandy. Darla pursed her lips and her eyes grew dark. "Angel." Spike coughed his drink back into the glass. "Angel! That bloody poofter still around?" He shook his head. "You'd think that he'd have no way left to reproduce, but I suppose that's what 200 gallons of hair gel can do to a guy. Vamp side effects." Darla turned to Spike, "And what does hair bleach do?" she said coolly. He downed his drink and glared at her, "Sod off."
Darla chuckled but suddenly buckled over in pain, her hands clutched over her large stomach. "Oh god..." Spike sat up straight and became alarmed, "You alright?" Darla sighed and the pain was gone. "Yes. This happens from time to time." Spike rolled his eyes and lit up a smoke. Darla immediately took the cigarette from Spike's 2 fingers and took a long drag herself and put it out in an ashtray. Spike attempted to light another cigarette, "Hey! It's not like it's gonna hurt the little buggar." Darla stared at the rising smoke from the ashtray. "It's human." Spike stopped and slowly put his pack away.
"...Bloody hell...What else is Angel groomin himself with that I don't know about? Did he bring you back 'cause he needed a good shag or what? Poofter." He scoffed.
Darla started to run her finger around the rim of her glass, not even bothering to drink it at all. "Actually, a law firm brought me back. They were having problems with Angel. What about you? What brought you back to Sunnydale?"
Spike didn't even look at Darla. "Buffy..." "Big surprise there," She said sarcastically. "It's always about a girl." "...I'm in love with her." Darla didn't know what to say for a few moments. She couldn't really do much but shake her head in disbelief and say, "Well, I knew you had problems Spike, but this one tops them all. What did Drusilla do to you to make you turn around like that?" Spike slouched unhappily. "She left me for a chaos demon."
"Rough..." She winced, "That girl always had bad taste." Spike shot her a surprised look. She jumped, "Oh! No offence." He sighed and took another drink. "You're better off without Buffy anyway."
"But we kissed! That should mean something!" Spike whined. "Angel and I did a bit more than just kiss and does it look like he gives a shit?" She said in her defense. Spike nodded, "If I knocked up a lady, I'd at least stick around." Darla agreed, "And if I kissed a guy, I'd want to be with him maybe a century."
Spike smiled warmly at Darla. "We wouldn't be that bad for each other ya know." Darla looked up at Spike and smiled back. 'Yeah..." They stared at each other for a few minutes. Darla did admit to herself that Spike looked quite handsome with his leather jacket and he was quite nice to be around. Spike also thought in his own mind that Darla was extremely beautiful and her sarcastic wit was pretty attractive. They both suddenly snapped out of their fantasyland quite startled. How could they even have one thought of getting together and let things...happen! Extremely embarrassed and disturbed, they turned away from each other quickly, and Spike sighed, "Man we have serious problems." Darla nodded profusely, grabbing the pack of cigarettes from Spike's jacket, and trying to light one up.
THE END