Title: "Infatuation"
Author: Uke
Rating: M - for talk of sex, and cursing.
Pairing(s): Hell Kaiser x Edo (Dark!Zane x Aster), and Ryo x Edo (Zane x Aster).
Genre: Angst, drama, and romance
A/N: This is a songfic to the song "My Obsession" by Skillet!! When I first heard the song I actually didn't like it at all. But after listening to it a few more times I began liking it a lot. I do make AMVs again, now, but this song will just not work for a video because I don't have that kind of skill. However, I like the lyrics a lot and I thought it would be perfect for a darkish kind of fanfic. I wouldn't consider this an abuse-fic, but it IS pretty dark and not very lovey-lovey fluffy. It's also from Hell Kaiser's POV and kind of Hell Kaiser-centered. I hope you guys like it because I wuv this couple. x3 Anyway, enjoy and review please!!
Warnings: This story contains SHOUNEN-AI (BOY x BOY relationships)!! It also contains mentions of SEX and there's CURSING!! Please do not read if this offends you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh GX OR this song.
Your touch, your ways
Leave me dumb without reason
Your love, my cage
My prison so pleasing
What was it that was alluring about that little bitch? He was younger than me, but no where near immature. In fact, his personality and mentality went way beyond his years and possibly even surpassed me. Everything he did he did to his absolute fullest. He seemed to be perfect; I couldn't find any faults though I know they were there. It pissed me off to no end. I wanted to fucking hurt him. I wanted to get rid of him. Why couldn't I stop? Why was I so tied to him? So chained to his heart forever? What was it that he did that constantly kept me in his place? I had no choice but to love him. With everything he did I was more and more captivated. I couldn't shatter the glass box that surrounded Edo and I, keeping us together.
I spend my days
Tangled in thoughts of you
Stuck in this place
Resigned to be your fool
I was Hell Kaiser Ryo. I didn't listen to anyone, hell, I barely even cared what other people told me. My brother, my so called friends...what did any of them matter? They couldn't change me. So why was this boy able to? Edo Phoenix...a name I was accustomed to have on my lips and in my mind. I couldn't get rid of him. If I did, I was the one who would keep coming back. I would stay with him when he was near and think about him when he was away. Was it love? No...I couldn't believe in that. This was an obsession, I was sure of that. Edo had completely taken over my mind, body and spirit. And there was nothing I could do about it. Since that very first duel my other self had lost to him, to now, I was addicted to everything that made Edo who he was. I had lost all control. And for the first time in my life, I didn't want any of my control back.
I thirst no longer
Drenching my soul
Pour out like water
Edo was all I needed now and all I wanted. Even if he didn't want to stay anymore, he wasn't allowed to leave. The crazy thing was, though, he wouldn't leave. Just as much as I wanted him, Edo wanted me. Was he stupid? Was he insane? I had no idea. But I wasn't about to complain, at least I was able to know that keeping him forever by my side, was his decision alone. Some bull shit about me having some good locked within me...that's what he'd tell me his reasons were, at least. He was an idiot. There was no goodness left. Ryo was gone. I was the only part of him left. The only righteous thing that I was doing now was not forcing Edo to stay. He was here on his own.
You're my only infatuation
Don't leave me stranded
In my obsession
My purpose, my possession
Live and die in my obsession
My obsession
I had already stolen the bitch's virginity. But I could never say that I raped him. I started, and he told me to do it. I was going to do it anyway, but if I got permission then technically I wasn't doing anything wrong. I remember the look on his face when I first entered him. Tears forming in his eyes...a look of shock across his perfect face. It was then that he told me to stop. He screamed, cried out shouts of pain. I didn't listen. I continued. Harder, faster...I didn't care. The look on his face was absolutely beautiful. His face, filled with pain and slight sadness was probably the single most beautiful thing in the world. I didn't believe in angels, but seeing him look like that made me believe that he was one. The sound of his screams...they were the equivalent of music to me. So perfect, so enticing. Seeing him underneath me...feeling his nails scratch into my back...knowing that he was now officially mine... I had completely lost my mind. Why was it that the smallest things of Edo were making me so addicted? I wanted more and more of him with every little thing he did.
Come down to me
Don't ever say that it's over
I kiss your feet
Worship the air your breathe
From the moment that I took over Ryo's weakened body, I had all the control in the world. Even when I decided that Edo was going to belong to me, I felt like I was the one with the power. Deep down inside, I knew I was wrong. Edo...though he may have not known it...had the power to break me. Without him I was nothing. I hated this fucking feeling. I hated knowing that I was either with him or I was dead. He was the one that was supposed to feel this way, not me. He was supposed to be fun for me, a fuck toy...nothing serious. So why did I want him around so god damn much? Why couldn't I get enough? Why did I hate being alone now when I was so used to being alone before?
Your love, my gift
You go and I will follow
My dream, my wish
Don't leave me here so helpless
I didn't believe in love. I couldn't believe in love. I was created out of the darkness and pain of my host. But this feeling I had for Edo was unlike anything other. It was stronger than I ever had hoped. I never asked for this...I never wanted this...and it was happening. I was...scared. If Edo walked away I just knew that I would be the one begging him to come back. Why the fuck was this happening? What was Edo doing to me? Why...what did he have that was so special? What ability was he blessed with that was able to turn me into what I was now?
I thirst no longer
Drenching my soul
Pour out like water
My emotions were going completely insane. It had gotten to the point that I wouldn't even talk to him anymore, but I would still insist that he'd stay around. He'd get angry at me and I'd just get angry back. I'd tell him I hated him...I'd tell him that I wish he was dead. His face would look so broken and I would kiss him right after. I was changing against my own free will. All thanks to one fifteen year old boy.
You're my only infatuation
Don't leave me stranded
In my obsession
My purpose, my possession
Live and die in my obsession
My obsession
After a few more weeks of this going on I learned something else; not only was his face of pain beautiful...but his face of happiness was even better. It used to be that I would leave him after I fucked the boy senseless, but as time went by I wasn't able to leave. An invisible force held me back. Whatever the excuse was, I took care of him too. I held him, when he asked me why I told him to shut up...I glared at him for a second only to be kissing him and holding him all over again. He...smiled. I saw his smile a lot but it was different now. He seemed happier. His eyes would light up, his cheeks would flush. He was looking up at me as if I was his loving boyfriend rather than some sick and twisted bastard. I wasn't supposed to like it, but I did. His whispers of "I told you..."would get me pissed off again.
Am I a lunatic?
I'm going crazy
For just a word from
For just a touch from you
Everything that made me who I was had disappeared. Ryo, who had fallen in love with this fucking bitch practically the day he met him in the pro leagues, was gaining strength again. I was losing my power and he was gaining his. He would come out now. He would stay with Edo and constantly tell him how sorry he was. He would make up for all the things I've done. He'd be so guilty and so depressed the whole time, but he was making Edo love him more and more. Ryo's abilities were greater than mine when it came to this. Ryo's heart was bigger than mine, and he was able to care and love. He wouldn't hide it away like me. With this one strength, Ryo was taking away what was mine. Though even I knew...Edo had really been his to begin with.
And I'm exploding like chemicals
I'm going crazy, can't get enough
And I'm exploding like chemicals
I'm going crazy, can't get enough
Edo could tell the difference now. I would come out so suddenly and I would manage to steal all the happiness Ryo gave him. I loved it and hated it all at the same time. My feelings were all mixed up. I would come out so suddenly, and I would do what I could to get back what had almost belonged to me. This was my only purpose now. It was sickening; the reason why I was created didn't even matter anymore. My reason for living now, was Edo. I wanted him. It killed me when he was with Ryo and I didn't even know why. It wasn't only because Ryo was touching my property, it was something else entirely that I couldn't even begin to understand.
I thirst no longer
I thirst, yeah
Drenching my soul
Drenching, oh
I thirst no longer
Drenching my soul
Pour out like water
Ryo had his body back. I wasn't gone, but the tables were definitely turned. Ryo had won. I'd watch Edo through Ryo's eyes, and though I would still be able to take over...I wouldn't. Edo looked happy all the time now. I...wanted to see him this way. I wanted him to belong to me again, but I wanted him to happy even more. It was true, I had changed. I wasn't afraid to admit this any longer. But though I decided who Edo was better with, my addiction to having the last say still hadn't left. I took over Ryo's body for what I thought would be the very last time. "Edo..." I told him, "I want you..." I was always bad with words, but the way Edo was looking up at me...I guess he understood. For some reason, just by looking into my eyes he understood all of the things that I was feeling.
You're my only infatuation
Don't leave me stranded
In my obsession
My purpose, my possession
Live and die in my obsession
Oh, oh, oh my obsession
Oh, oh, oh my obsession
My obsession
I had never understood Edo, but with what he said to me...I didn't want to understand anymore. I was completely fine with his answer. "Kaiser-kun..." He said, "You and Ryo-kun are one in the same. I fell in love with him first; when you took over I was still in love with you. I love you both for separate reasons, but I wouldn't want to give either of you away." Edo...I changed for you. I'll never be able to walk a day in Ryo's shoes but I don't want to. I'm Hell Kaiser Ryo and I'm fine with the way everything turned out.
I understand now. You're not only an obsession; you're my only love.
-END-