Safe Place
By darkchakram
Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling
Summary: Snape has to make a painful move when he learns that the Dark Lord has returned.
Snape/Lily Romance.
I miss you, everyday. But summers in Cokeworth are the hardest. You were my refuge, my safe place. I was your magic and wonder. I visited our tree today. I took you flowers. I'll never live again, Lily. I am a dead man inside. Cold, empty, my heart full of rigor, except for the tiniest pulse that still beats for you and keeps blood coursing through my veins.
The Dark Lord has returned. Your boy is safe, for now. I'm not sure how long we can continue to play this game. Dumbledore is a master puppeteer but I fear eventually the strings will all snap. I've put my trust in him before. You died.
The Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, that's what they call your Harry. He's James made over. The only goodness I see in him hides behind the glass of his round spectacles. He's always in trouble. He doesn't know what's best for him. Trolling the castle at all hours, running into the Forbidden Forest. That infernal invisibility cloak. I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking in giving it to him.
Yet, as much as I loathe the very sight of him that is James, sometimes, Lily, I wish I could talk with him, about you. Just once, it would be something to sit with him and have a true heart to heart, the way you and I used to.
He's dismal at potions, he doesn't have your subtle gift there. Young Malfoy torments him, and though it shames me, there are times I take joy in it. I know he shouldn't pay for his father's sins but, by God Lily, when I see him, I see James. I promise I will try to be better with him. More patient. He is only a child. He doesn't know the truth. None them will ever know the full truth. The depth of my love.
The taste of your kiss still lingers. I've had the privilege of carrying our memories in my head for the past fourteen years but I think even that is going to be taken from me. With the Dark Lord's return, I fear they are no longer safe in my own brain. I will need to store the more cherished of them elsewhere. Of course, the Dark Lord knew of my affection for you but he never knew the extent, I never allowed him access to our most private moments. I will have to stow them away again, my Love. If he were ever to know my truest feeling for you, he'd know that I would protect the boy with my very life. Dumbledore is determined that I play the double agent. I hope for the boy's sake that he knows what he is doing. I went to our place today to spend one last day with those memories of you where they belong, in my mind, in my heart. I know I will feel the hollowness of living without our first kiss, our first touch. But, it must be done.
Goodnight sweet Lily. Until we meet again.
Author's Note: I am finding a lot of animosity toward Snape and Snape and Lily, not only in anonymous reviews that people are leaving but also on some of the forums. Is there a Safe Place for Snape/Lily fans that anyone can point me to. I'd appreciate a PM letting me know. Thanks in advance. P.S. if you want to leave a snide or nasty comment, at least do the author the courtesy of doing it under your pen name so that the author can respond to said criticism. Thanks!