Leaving Home

Disclaimer: New Tricks is the property of the BBC. I'll give it back before they miss it.

Rating: M

Spoilers for just about the whole of season 10.

/

"There isn't going to be a next one!" Sandra wanted to slap her hands over her mouth, the look on Robert Strickland's face was one of shock, and hurt. "I'm sorry, I didn't want it to come out like that...And I don't want you to think this has anything to do with Annie Banks." She tried to explain

"So, you're leaving." He looked away from her, momentarily unable to meet her eyes. He felt like he had been punched in the gut.

"Max Clemont has offered me a place on his war crimes team and I've given it a lot of thought..." She knew she was babbling. He seemed to recover himself. He looked back at her, his face fixed in 'professional' mode.

"Well its about time." She looked at him in shock. "Its ten years Sandra."

"I know." She couldn't believe he was dismissing their time together so casually. She hadn't realised how much it would hurt.

"Its a good move. It'll be a fantastic experience."

"Your not worried about the team..."

"They're a good team and that's thanks to you, but let them be my problem. The very least I owe you for everything you've done at UCOS is not to stand in your way." Suddenly she saw it. He was giving her an easy way out, hiding his own feelings and showing her that the door was open, no baggage to be hauled with her.

"Thank you."

"I'll talk to Clemont, get everything sorted out. I assume there will be some sort of drinks thing." The conversation was becoming uncomfortable now.

"That's a fairly safe assumption sir, yes." There was a moment of awkward silence, Robert looked around as if unable to meet her eyes again, she watched him, she could see him thinking, mulling things over. That was one of the things she had come to realise about him, he was a thinker.

"So you think you can crack Annie Banks?" That took her by surprise. She blinked.

"I can if I run with this new lead."

"I'm passing all this upstairs at the end of the day, and that will be that. Whatever you can do in the mean time." There it was, he was giving her this, as a parting gift, he was giving her the chance to close her personal 'moby dick' case. She smiled. He met her gaze. "Be nice to go out on a high." He gave her 'that' little smile. The one which could melt her bones, she grinned back.

"Yes Sir." He turned and looked at the evidence board. She moved to slide past him, he caught her arm gently.

"Sandra?" She stopped, keeping her eyes facing forward, not wanting to make eye contact.

"Not at work, we promised." She didn't want this conversation now, she had a killer to catch. She felt like a coward, but she didn't want to face this at all.

"Later then. But we need to talk about this.

She nodded and walked out of the office. Had she looked back, she would have seen him wander over to the little sofa and slump down on it, his head in his hands.

/

Later that evening, the gang were all in the pub and had been joined by a growing number of well wishers, most of who were now worse for wear. The news of Sandra's departure had spread and a good number had turned out to say their goodbyes. It had turned into quite a party.

Eventually, Sandra made her way out into the little yard behind the pub, the party was still in full swing, but she felt like she needed a bit of fresh air, she was feeling a little bit self conscious at all the attention. She sat down on a stack of upturned crates, enjoying the momentary peace.

"Sandra?" She stiffened slightly. She had watched him through the evening as he had stood at the end of the bar, out of the way, largely unnoticed. He must have seen her come out here.

"Were you waiting for the chance to get me alone?" She asked. He shrugged.

"It didn't seem like there was going to be any other way. You've gone out of your way to avoid me." He replied, she looked down at her feet.

"I know, I'm sorry." She looked up at him, his dark blue eyes shining with emotion. She knew she had to face this, she nodded. "Ask."

"What about us? Is it over?" His voice quivered slightly, betraying him.

"I don't know. I need to think it through, I hadn't expected a job offer that will take me all over the world. I can't talk about this now." She stood, turning her back on him, unable to bare seeing the pain in his features which she had put there.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When will you talk to me. Or is that how I will find out, one day you'll just be gone." She turned on him angrily, did he really think she would just leave him hanging? But as she caught sight of the despair he was trying desperately to hide, she realised, that is exactly what he did expect, and he was right, she would have just gone away, making empty promises that she would phone him regularly, and come and see him whenever she could, then the phone calls would get further and further apart, the visits would never happen and time would pass. He deserved better than that.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said. He nodded, the pain in his eyes almost unbearable.

"Sandra, I've never asked you for much, no promises, no declarations of affection, no commitments. All I ever asked is that you treat me kindly. I can accept being left behind for the chance to see the world and make a difference. But please, tell me you are not leaving me for Max." His voice was quiet, and small, almost scared, she felt tears spring into her eyes, this was cruel, she should never have got involved with this man, he was too sensitive a soul, and she had known when they had first kissed, that she would end up hurting him. She took his face in her hands, laying a small kiss on his lips.

"I'm not seeing Max, he took me for a drink and offered me this job. He's not the reason I'm going." She assured him. He nodded.

"Thank you." He whispered. He gazed into her pale blue orbs, the tears shining there and the wet trails running down her face. He wiped them away with his thumbs, unable to stop the tears from falling from his own eyes.

"You'll ruin your make-up." He gave her a small smile, she half hiccuped, half laughed. "Sandra, I know you don't want to hear this, but...I love you, I always have and I always will." She made to speak, but he laid one finger softly on her lips. "It's okay. I don't expect you to say it back. Just... Take my love with you." He leaned in and gave her a kiss, which she couldn't help but return. It wasn't one of the passion filled kisses which they had shared many times before, in those stolen moments between the sheets of one of their beds. This was the kiss of two lovers who knew they were doomed to never be together. They were interrupted by a shaft of light which caught them full on as the back door of the pub opened.

"Sandra? Ah, there you are. Oh!" Steve looked slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, but Brian and Esther have arrived, everyone is looking for you." He looked at her apologetically. Robert took a step back.

"Go on, I know you haven't seen them for a while."

"Are you coming back in?" She asked , though she already knew the answer. He shook his head.

"No, I'm not the Lane's favourite person. Besides, this is your evening."

"Robert..."

"We were good though. Yes?"

"We were amazing." She agreed. The tears flowed freely down her face now. She brushed her fingers along his jawline, feeling the slight traces of stubble. "Bye Rob."

"Good bye, Sandra." He kissed her one more time before turning and leaving out of the side gate, he didn't look back. Sandra wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the tears. She felt a tissue being pressed into her hand. She turned and found Steve standing patiently by her side. He smiled at her.

"How long?" He asked, she knew what he meant.

"Since Jack left, nearly two years."

"Does anybody else know?" He asked, she shook her head. "You both hid it well."

"We had to." She had almost regained control of her tears now. She looked at Steve, the sadness in her eyes evident. "Steve, will you watch him for me?"

The scot nodded, he smiled kindly.

"Aye, I'll take care of him." He assured her. "Come on, you need to make a stop at the ladies, fix that mascara disaster." He joked. She laughed softly. As he opened the door for her, she cast a glance at the gate which her man had disappeared through.

They had been amazing.

/

Author's note: Part two later today. XXX