One day draco malfoy was sad. Harry came in and was like "Malfoy you shithead you were an asshole to some little twat today now get your ass over here and fight me!" And malfoy was all like "Fuck you harry I hate myself" and punched him really hard in the face. Then they started rolling around on the floor trying to punch each other in the face. Then they started making out and trying to strangle each other at the same time and because harry is a sick masochistic fuck he got a raging hard on. "Oh my I am just too sexy for you potter" malfoy said and fucked him. Then Snape came in and was like "What the fuck not on the common room floor we just fucking washed it goddamn it ten million points from Gryffindor." and harry would have said what the fuck but he was too busy being fucked by malfoy's gigantic throbbing pulsating delicious .etc. [insert vague fanfic terms all over the place] to answer. Then nevil came in and was like "harry I'm gay what do I tell the millions of women pining after me?" and snape was like "Nevil mr. potter is busy being ravaged right now so why don't we go to the dungeons and talk about your little problem." And they left. Then Hermione and ron came looking for harry and were like "what the fuck harry are you having fucking gay sex with malfoy on the slytherin common room floor again cut it out you're going to lose us points." And harry was all like "" because he was being fucked by malfoy and couldn't talk properly. Then Dumbledore came in and was like "what the fuck why is everyone in the slytherin common room, how come snape has a student in his quarters and why are harry and draco going at it over there." And Hermione was like "Dumbledore! You need to help! We think harry is being possessed by lord voldemort cause this is like the tenth time we've caught him fuckin draco and he's still like totally conviced he is not a fairy." And Dumbledore was like "of course he's not a fairy he's a wizard god ron get it right you stupid ginger bitch." And ron started crying and so Hermione fucked him on the common room floor. Then lord voldemort showed up and he was like "hey guys whatd I miss" and then he looked at all the naked happening on the floor and was like "what the fuck is going on right now." And Dumbledore was like "everybody's having sex tom what do we do" and veldemort was like "Albus…..we should…..KILL EVERYONE" and Dumbledore said YES and they murdered everybody together the end. But before they died everybody came rainbows and glitter all over the place. The real end.