an: went into a different direction then what was prepared. short, messy and full of tragic love.
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i. are you ready?
Glimmer dances prettily, all eyes trained on her as she flirts with Marvel and Cato leaning against a wall. She's lethal, not just all pretty smiles and Clove is jealous for not the first time in her life (but the last time, she just doesn't know it).
She's jealous of the way the boys lap up her attention, briefly forgetting about how they should be fighting for their lives. She's jealous of the way she's gorgeous, but utterly smart. She might even be able to win this thing.
Clove is just a little worried, not that she'd ever dare breathe a word of it. She'd be killed first.
It's Glimmer who approaches her after training. Smiling at her softly, not the same smile she used on the boys, or the smirk she usually used on Clove. This one seemed real, and Clove knew she was about to fall into a trap. Suddenly, she didn't care anymore. Which was odd. Glimmer leads her away, talking about how they need some time out. Just a bit of girls time or whatever. Clove isn't here to make friends, she's here to win. Here to prove her family wrong. She can win the games, she can.
Instead she spends three hours talking with Glimmer in a secluded corner somewhere in the maze of the Capitol in the area they put the tributes. She spends three hours learning about the girl with shiny hair, who lost her brother to the games four years ago and is extra excited to go out there and win but she doesn't think she can. Clove spends three hours with a girl she had previously envied, been jealous of, only to find out that she thinks she might like her.
Glimmer is the one who leans in, lips brushing past her cheek. Clove freezes up, awaiting the moment eagerly. She's never been kissed before, only ever heard about it from her big sister. Glimmer freezes too, lips parted above Clove's. Clove dives in, locking their lips together but she's also the one that pulls away.
Not here to make friends, here to win the games.
"I have to go," Clove excuses herself. A flurry of a braid and knives and excuses flying past a heartbroken, wide eyed Glimmer sitting on a bench. She's left alone, and Glimmer thinks to herself: I'm always alone, everyone always leaves.
Glimmer traces her fingers across the bench, curling her hands against it. She doesn't want to hurt again, doesn't want to feel like this. A nervous emotional wreck, and it's right before the games that could either make her or kill her. Can't afford to lose, can't afford to break. Wipes hastily at her lips, washing away the feel of Clove's lips and all the memories that come with that kiss.
Clove doesn't exist anymore. She's an ally, someone to help her in the arena. An easy target to get rid of once the time is right. That's all she will be, Glimmer will make sure of that. She sits for a few more seconds, readjusts her breathing before hoping off of the bench and running all the way back to her bedroom. Up a flight of hidden stairs, and down a corridor until she finds the elevator.
She isn't here to fall in love, not even here to make friends. She can do all that after she wins. After she's crowned victor, sitting pretty in a dress as a crown is placed atop her head and the latest object of her affection is lying dead somewhere. Buried in a box, sent back to her district.
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ii. promise me a sad ending,
Clove doesn't avoid Glimmer though, and Glimmer doesn't avoid Clove. Quite the opposite. Pushed up against walls, breathes heavy mingling with one another as they whisper harsh words about how the other is going to die. I'm stronger, Clove will whisper pushing her lips up to Glimmer's not caring if they were to bruise.
The blonde pushes her dress down harshly, head held high as she knocks Clove on the shoulder as she leaves. Throwing a grin over her shoulder, along with a kiss. Always the one ready for a show. Clove will roll her eyes, and storm off. She didn't want this, but she did. She didn't want to fall in love with someone that was going to die.
She'll never admit this, but Clove writes in a diary. Pretty words about blondes who play the sexy card all too well, that make peoples hearts stop when they walk into the room, girls who have confidence and skill and are gorgeous. She writes about girls like Glimmer. She writes about Glimmer.
Lying down on Clove's bed, after sneaking Glimmer in, she trails her hands up the blonde's arm thinking about blood and gore and disfigured limbs lying in a heap. Of her parents smiling faces after she goes home, decked out in gowns and a crown. Of Glimmer dead, it scares her. It has always scared her, she's never wanted this. Never wanted to go in the arena, and give it her all. Fighting for her family, for herself.
"We're going to die," Glimmer whispers, eyes closed. She's content, hand lazily thrown around Clove's waist.
"I hope we both lose," Clove whispers back. Unable to say the words that losing means. Glimmer nods her head against Clove's back, before she swings her legs over the bed and pulls her clothes back on. No words are passed between them until her shoes are slipped on, and she's rushing out of the door. Her feelings have become too real. This wasn't supposed to happen, wasn't apart of the plan.
Glimmer screams until her throat runs dry and the sound halts. She throws a lampshade, she grabs everything in her sight and flings it across the room. Back sliding against the wardrobe, head falling in her eyes. This was not supposed to happen. Marvel passes by her room, gross remarks about minimal clothing and how if she's ever bored, he's available. She shoots venomous insults she's picked up from Clove back at him, rolling her eyes as she slams the door in his face.
Clove, the only person who's able to consume her thoughts. Driving her to the point where she's reaching insanity. All she wants it to live happily ever after with her, she just met her and she's the only one she wants. But one is going to die, or both of them. They could both die.
Scribbles on a piece of paper, a note to her lover. Filled with all the things she can't say, your hair smells lovely, i like it when you don't smile, i love your laugh it's rare but it's beautiful. your eyes make me want to die filled with mystery and trouble and something else i can't quite place, i think i'm falling in love with you the girl from district two with the knives and the mouth for a weapon that fits against mine as if our mouths were made for each other.
Glimmer scrunches the paper up. She's always been for gooey lovey dovey nonsense, prided herself on falling head first and loving wholly and completely until it broke her, wore her down. She doesn't know if she wants it now. The love that destroys people, twists them into sad shadows of their former selves. The kind of love that rips you apart limb by limb until you're nothing but a whimpering idiot into your pillow, twisting ordinary words into cautionary tales of love.
It's beautiful. It's wonderful. It's hauntingly horrible. It's terrifically terrible. It's awful. It's gross.
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iii. will we meet again? above the sky, in the fluffy clouds.
Glimmer, who prided herself on her beauty died looking horrific.
Clove, who prided herself on her strength died by being beaten in strength.
Neither of their deaths were ideal, how could they be? They were foolish teenagers who had yet to experience the pain of the world yet had experienced it all. They meet in the clouds, Glimmer wears a soft baby pink and Clove is adorned in a shimmery gold. It's soft, shy smiles and little laughs that roll out of their mouths as if they're nervous. It's tiny touches, brushing each others fingers over a hand, a shoulder. It's a surprise attack of a kiss first.
The games are something they don't talk about often, but are haunted with memories of every single second. Images of the two of them pop up, eyes searching for each other when the fear starts to creep in. The frowns dropping as soon as they're reminded that other is here, still breathing, still alive. They don't get along in the games, yet they help each other get by. Clove's world crushes down when Glimmer dies, heart breaking and she needs to smirk and act as if everything is fine, fucking great. What she wanted all along.
"Thank you, you saved me in the games." Clove admits late one night, after the sun has lowered back down to earth. Leaving them in utter darkness, where ever they are. Glimmer doesn't respond, just nods her head in the moonlight. Clove saved her, as well.
They don't get their happily ever after but they get something close.