Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as folk characters or 'I kissed a girl' by Katy Perry.

A/N: Ive been hearing this song everywhere. Not that I don't like it I have nothing against but my gay friend was saying how annoying it was as if dykes were taking over the world and it reminded me of Brian. I hope you like it

R&R

Brian was in the car driving home. He had just had the most ridiculous, in his opinion, day of his career. He drove to work after arguing with Justin this morning about god knows what. While in the car he turned on the radio and the most lesbian song 'I kissed a girl and I liked I hope my boyfriend don't mind'. Jesus even the hetero chicks think they can be gay now. He shook his head and changed the station when he got into Kinnetic Cynthia was ready to make his day worse.

"What do you have for me?" Brian said walking past her desk. As expected she got up and walked right along side of him handing him a pack of papers. He rifled through them and stopped when he spotted something, "What the fuck is that?"

Cynthia was already bored but she peered over at what her boss was looking at and stifled a laugh. "Oh that, it's a new account, Chapstick."

Brian rolled his eyes, "I see that. I approved them, it's a major corporation but why in hell did they request this song."

Cynthia shrugged, "There's a line in the song that says I kissed a girl and I liked it the taste of her cherry Chapstick." Cynthia said that while walking out the door bobbing her head to the lyrics now stuck in her head.

"Christ this world is going to the dykes isn't it."

Brian shook his head and called up the 'confused hetero' girl, as he liked to put it, who wrote the song. The Chapstick owner wanted her to sing the song while applying the product. Why the fuck they hired him when they could do it themselves was beyond comprehension but he hired her and put one of the junior executives on it so he wouldn't have to hear the stupid song again.

"You're leaving boss?" Ted looked into the office.

Brian was putting his coat on, and rolled his eyes at Ted, "No Theodore I'm just putting my coat on to look fashionable."

Ted blushed slightly, "Sorry. You're right; I was just wondering if you wanted to catch a drink or something with me?"

Brian decided a drink would delay the ridiculous argument he was sure to endure when he arrived home, "You know what Theodore I would love to."

They headed to Woody's and hadn't realized that it was karaoke night. They sat at their regular seat where Emmett was already stationed ready for his turn.

"Hi Teddy … Brian," he beamed at them and went back to listening to a horrid drag queen try to impersonate Dolly Parton.

Ted came back with two drinks and set one in front of Brian, "So Em what you singing tonight?"

Emmett turned around, "The most darling dyke song you will ever hear. I kissed a girl it just came out by Katy something or the other."

"Never heard of it," Ted shrugged and Emmett frowned but looked at Brian expectantly.

Brian rolled his eyes and groaned, "Unfortunately I have. The Chapstick Company wants a commercial with that song."

"How darling," Emmett smiled. "Well girls the stage calls tootles."

Brian groaned, "I will see you at work tomorrow Theodore."

Ted smiled, "What? Oh yeah sure …"

Brian turned the radio on when he got into the car and instantly regretted. 'If I hear that song one more time I'm going to shoot someone,' he thought. He got into the loft and deposited most of his clothing at the door. Justin was in the shower when he got to the bathroom.

"You still mad at me or can I join," Brian asked cautiously.

Justin smirked, "I can deal with you." He handed Brian the soap, "but you're scrubbing."

"I can deal with that," Brian began to rub Justin's back with the soap.

While he was washed Justin began to sing a song that was stuck in his head, "I kissed a girl and I liked it the taste of her cherry Chapstick, it felt so wrong it felt so … Owe!" Brian had thrown the bar of soap at Justin's head and stalked out of the bathroom. "What the fuck was that for?"