One day, Ness walked into a hotel. He walked up to the front desk, picked up the receiver of the black phone sitting there, and dialed his Dad's number.
After ringing for a couple of seconds, the familiar voice answered,
"Ness? It's your dad. I deposited $65 into your bank account. Taking away what you've spent, you should now have $865 in the bank. Well, exp to get to the next level, Ness 1772. Anyway, what do you need from me?"
"Uh, great. Thanks, Dad. Actually, I want to ask you something."
"Oh? What is it, Ness?"
"How do you know all this stuff? And why don't I ever see you?"
"Well, you see, I'm very busy with work, and then there's-"
"I don't even remember what you look like!"
The phone was silent for a moment, and then Ness's dad replied, "So, you want the truth?"
"Yes!"
"I'm not really your father. I'm actually an omniscient and omnipresent god of telecommunications. I take on the form of a telephone wherever you happen to be. That's how I'm able to record your adventures and know your experience level, even when you don't actually tell me anything."
"Then, who IS my father?"
"The hint guy."
"WHAT?!"
"It's true. He's been following you around all this time, assisting you when you need help."
"Then why does he charge me for hints?"
"The same reason he left your mother. He's a jerk."
"..."
"Anyway, do you want to save?"
"Yeah, sure."
"All done. Your dear old omniscient deity was thinking of hitting the hay for the night."
"If you're a god, then why do you need to sleep?"
"You may not think so, but taking on the form of a telephone takes a lot of energy! Well, good night, sleep tight."
"It's 1:00 in the afternoon."
"A growing boy needs lots of rest. Just remember to turn the power OFF instead of pressing RESET. All right?"
"What does that even mean?"
Only the sound of a dial tone answered Ness.
As Ness walked out of the hotel, he murmured to himself, "One of these days I'll get him to explain that to me."
The End